Hell's Prison Keep magic

• Can hit a large area
  
• Can summon demons to help fight
  
• Can stun enemies for certain spells
  
• Can judge the humanity and innocence of a person.
  

• Is quite weak against 'angelic' magic
  
• Depending on the spell can take a lot of energy
  
• Must say a small prayer before the battle before he/she can even fight.
  

• Hell Prison's Graveyard
  
• Hell Prison's Sweep
  
• Hell Prison's Minion
  
  
• Hell Prison's Damnation
  

• Stronger if dark out
  
• Can stun the enemy
  
• Causes them to loose vision for a couple of seconds.
  

1. Avoidable
   
2. Only works to its fullest extent when dark.
   
3. Weak and can be ridden of with angelic magic
   

• Depends on demon.
  
• Strongest basic move.
  
• The demon will often die before letting caster die
  

• Drains the caster's energy
  
• Takes a lot of attention to control.
  
• If a to powerful demon is summoned, can turn on caster.
  

• Very powerful
  
• Will be useful in later time
  
• Gives caster a new minion.
  

• The caster must be extremely concentrated
  
• Takes massive amount of magical power.
  
• Can usually not fight for a while afterwards
  

• Can burn the limb
  
• Stuns enemy well
  
• Can, very small possibility, make the enemy dragged a minion.
  

• Only works if the enemy is grounded
  
• Can be avoided by quick enemies
  
• Weak against angelic enemies.
  
  

Dusk~Is~Dawning wrote:Magic
   
   Primary Magic: Hell's Prison Keep magic
   Secondary Magic: (Must be filled in later. Magic you bought at the store goes here)
   Caster or Holder: Caster
   Description:

The magic is from the depths of hell, it is dark and can be mistaken for Shadow magic. But it is not, it is even blacker than the shadows magic, and hold strange heat to it always. The magic is summoned from the depths of hell by the caster, drawing out the shadows and fires of the underworld. The caster can, depending on how long this magic has infected their body, use this to make pressure that can keep them in the air, summon holes that can lead to tartarus, or whatever the keepers of the prison allow for that moment.

   Strengths:

• Can hit a large area
  
• Can summon demons to help fight
  
• Can stun enemies for certain spells
  
• Can judge the humanity and innocence of a person.
  

   Weaknesses:

• Is quite weak against 'angelic' magic
  
• Depending on the spell can take a lot of energy
  
• Must say a small prayer before the battle before he/she can even fight.
  
  

You do not have enough weaknesses, you are required to have one more weakness compared to strengths, so currently you need to add two more weaknesses.
   Lineage: Power Of Apocalypse
   Unique Abilities: She can cast defeated enemies that have commited crimes into the prison, making it so she can summon them at later time's with the command "Hell's Prison Minion." They can use "Hell Prison's Graveyard," To both judge the character, and drag him into hell if guilty, or to stun him in a fight if found innocent. Using the pressure of her shadows, she can use them to sort of 'fly' for short distances.After looking over this I can tell that two of these are actually spells, those can be removed and they are listed further down. The last sentence seems to be the only non spell ability.

   Spells:

• Hell Prison's Graveyard
  
• Hell Prison's Sweep
  
• Hell Prison's Minion
  
  
• Hell Prison's Damnation
  
  

You do not need to list your spells here.

   Spell Template
   Note: BE SPECIFIC AND ADD DETAILS

   Name: Hell Prison's Sweep
   Rank: D
   Type: Shadowed (special)
    Duration:Short period of time. Around the time of a Dragon Slayer's roar.Please Provide this in terms Posts not actual units of time, in this case I would say this spell is an instant cast.

   Cooldown: Around a minute and a half. Please Provide this in terms of Posts not actual units of time general cooldown time for D rank spells is 2-4  posts depending on the duration.

   Description: The caster puts a lot of focus on the people around her, causing her to have to stand still for the casting. She focuses and sends out waves of shadowed fire in all directions, in a scythe like fashion. They are very quick, but easily avoidable. It sounds like this ability has a cast time, please provide the amount of posts it takes to cast. Also provide the range and speed of the projectiles if they are indeed projectiles. Also how big is the area of effect?
   Strengths:

• Stronger if dark out
  
• Can stun the enemy  Stunning is an odd mechanic it essentially means that you can not do anything for the duration and the longer the duration the more stunning becomes overpowered I would recommend that instead of stunning it cancels any spells that are currently being channeled but have not been cast yet and interrupts any actions the target is currently taking  e.g. charging straight at you with sword drawn.
  
  
• Causes them to loose vision for a couple of seconds. How long are they blinded in terms of Posts.
  

   Weaknesses:

1. Avoidable
   
2. Only works to its fullest extent when dark.
   
3. Weak and can be ridden of with angelic magic I like this weakness but angelic magic barely exists, you would practically have a weakness towards one person on the entire site, I would recommend you change it to Holy/Light Magic instead.
   
   

Please provide an additional Weakness, you must always have one more weakness than strengths.

   Name: Hell Prison's Minion
   Rank: D
   Type: Shadowed (special)
    Duration:As long as the demon lastsPlease Describe this in Post format please.
   Cooldown: Depends on demon. Can range from seconds to a month.This is a bit odd, cooldowns are usually longer than duration's but months would make it sound like several threads worth. I would recommend just having a set cooldown that has slightly more posts than the duration(1-2 posts)

   Description: The caster pulls out a demon from the depths of hell to fight for them. The demon must do as the caster says, sending powerful attacksThis seems a bit powerful considering that you can summon a monster of significantly higher rank than you or the spell assuming you captured them with your following spell before hand. I would suspect that you would keep track of what you have captured. Another note is that you may not actually summon anything higher than this spells rank, and monsters can not become stronger than when they were captured.

   Strengths:

• Depends on demon.
  
• Strongest basic move.
  
• The demon will often die before letting caster die
  

   Weaknesses:

• Drains the caster's energy
  
• Takes a lot of attention to control.
  
• If a to powerful demon is summoned, can turn on caster.
  

Please provide an additional Weakness, you must always have one more weakness than strengths.




   Name: Hell Prison's Damnation
   Rank: D
   Type: Shadowed (special)
    Duration:However long it takes to damn demon.Please provide duration in posts.
   Cooldown: Depends on demons size and power Once again this is a bit odd, I still recommend just having a cooldown slightly longer than the duration by 1-2 posts.
   Description: When successfully defeating a monster, the caster can send the monster (with many bad deeds) to Hell's prison, where they can later use as a Hell Prison's Minion. We can accept this considering that the monster has to be defeated first, but I would like you to note that you can not use this one actual player characters. You will also be required to keep track of what you have captured, we don’t want to see you summoning some creature that no one has ever seen that shouldn’t possibly exist. Also you can’t capture anything that is higher than the rank of this spell.

   Strengths:

• Very powerful You can be more descriptive here.
  
• Will be useful in later time
  
• Gives caster a new minion.
  

  Weaknesses:

• The caster must be extremely concentrated
  
• Takes massive amount of magical power. How much more does it take, usually D rank Spells cost 10% magic power when you are D rank, if it is higher than that please specify.
  
• Can usually not fight for a while afterwards Is this the caster or the minion?
  

Please provide an additional Weakness, you must always have one more weakness than strengths.


   Name: Hell Prison's Graveyard
   Rank: D
   Type: Shadowed (special)
    Duration:A minute
   Cooldown: About five minutes or so
   Description: The caster opens the graveyard of the demons/monsters that had fallen under their feet, grabbing limbs of enemies and pulling them towards their graves. If the enemy is extremely guilty, will drag to hell. If not, they will just be stunned. This Spell is quite a bit too powerful, we are talking about potentially erasing another character's existence completely. I can only suggest that you either completely revise this spell or replace it with a different spell all together. Also how does one determine someone's guilt?
   Strengths:

• Can burn the limb
  
• Stuns enemy well
  
• Can, very small possibility, make the enemy dragged a minion.
  

  Weaknesses:

• Only works if the enemy is grounded
  
• Can be avoided by quick enemies
  
• Weak against angelic enemies.