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    Kyo's Magic

    Simba
    Simba

    Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Veteran Level 1- Magic Application Approved!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Player 
    Lineage : Nature's Blessing
    Position : None
    Posts : 176
    Guild : Tᴀʀᴛᴀʀᴜs
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 27
    Mentor : Aʟ-Tʜᴀᴍᴇɴ
    Experience : 800

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Bʟᴀᴄᴋ Mᴀɢɪᴄ
    Second Skill: -
    Third Skill:

    Kyo's Magic Empty Kyo's Magic

    Post by Simba 2nd March 2014, 12:21 am

    Primary Magic:
    Fire Magic

    Secondary Magic:-

    Caster or Holder:
    Caster

    Description:
    A form of magic that revolves around the use of fire, allowing the caster to conjure, manipulate, and control the element for various purposes. The caster can change the properties of this magic such as its "form", allowing it to take shape as a gas or solid element. The color of this Magic can also change, ranging from purple, red, blue and yellow. Fire Magic can also work in a similar fashion to explosives. The caster is able to conjure this element from various parts of their body or from the nearby surroundings, though it is possible for weapons to use fire as well.

    Strengths:

    -Fire magic is twice as effective towards plant magic, ice magic and wind magic.

    -The fire of this magic is able to burn people. Depending on rank, there will be a first, second or even third degree burn.

    -Has a resistance toward Fire Magic, especially if the magic spells are similar to his. If the magic spells aren't similar to his, he will have probably a 50% to 30% resistance against the fire.

    Weaknesses:

    -Does not have a lot of power against, an earth magic or iron magic user.

    -This magic's defensive moves are not as strong. It barely has any defensive moves and while versatile, it often lacks the correct defense to counter strong magic.

    -Flames equipped with one of the elemental weaknesses or poison magic will have full effectiveness and ignore the user's resistance towards fire.

    Abilities/Powers:

    -Able to make fire appear in his hand, or anywhere he wants with just the thought, or flick of his fingers. The amount of fire he can create though is depending on his ranking, especially if he is just D rank, he will only be able to command a small amount of fire, which will increase in size as he ranks up.

    -Is able to heal minor cuts and wounds with this fire magic due to its versatile aspect, with a light green flame, that will appear on the palm of his hands.


    D Rank Spells:


    Last edited by Simba on 19th March 2014, 8:35 pm; edited 1 time in total


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    Main Theme / Approaching:
    Grizzly
    Grizzly

    Planeswalker


    Planeswalker

    X-Mas Event Participant- Player 
    Lineage : Aspect of Vulcan
    Position : None
    Posts : 703
    Guild : Guildless
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 135

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Barrier Magic
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Kyo's Magic Empty Re: Kyo's Magic

    Post by Grizzly 6th March 2014, 10:05 am

    Simba wrote:
    Hey! I'm Adele, and I'll be grading your magic ^^ So, let's get this started!

    Primary Magic:
    Fire Magic

    Secondary Magic:-

    Caster or Holder:
    Caster

    Description:
    A form of magic that revolves around the use of fire, allowing the caster to conjure, manipulate, and control the element for various purposes. The caster can change the properties of this magic such as its "form", allowing it to take shape as a gas or solid element. The color of this Magic can also change, ranging from purple, red, blue and yellow. Fire Magic can also work in a similar fashion to explosives. The caster is able to conjure this element from various parts of their body or from the nearby surroundings, though it is possible for weapons to use fire as well.

    Strengths: <<< Alrighty, I would advise you  to add the following strength, as it is quite standard and also somewhat important to have. Elemental strengths are somewhat important, I'll show you what I mean.

    - Fire magic is twice as effective towards plant magic, ice magic and wind magic (I know you have that as a weakness, but usually it is fire > wind, so you may add wind as a strength), meaning a same ranked fire spell against a same ranked ice, plant or wind spell will always win out as well as be on par with a plant, ice or wind spell of one rank above.


    -Is effective toward all other types of wizards depending on the ranking of course.  <<< Your flames will be less effective against fire slayers and other fire mages, just so you know. Additionally, they might be less effective against your elemental weaknesses, so this strength isn't exactly a strength. It is also too general. I would perhaps, replace it with something like this:

    - The fire of this magic is able to burn people. Depending on rank, there will a first, second or even third degree burn.

    D - C Rank: First degree burns
    B - A Rank: Second degree burns
    S - H Rank: Third degree burns

    So yeah, in case you want to add something like that, totally feasible! Your choice though, but the above strength won't work in the way it's layed out as I already stated the limitations of your fire's effectiveness.


    -Flames will become unstopable, even to wind and water users, also depending how powerful the fire user is. <<< Your flames can not become "unstoppable". There is no such thing. Additionally, I would replace this exact strength with the elemental strengths I gave you a bit earlier.

    -Fire doesn't effect the user in anyway, unless it is a poison type of flame, then it definately will. <<< You can have a resistance towards fire, but not complete immunity. My proposition would be to make this rank based. What I mean is:

    Fire spell 2 or more ranks below character's rank: 100% resistance
    Fire spell 1 rank below character's rank: 90% resistance
    Fire spell ranked same as character: 75% resistance
    Fire spell 1 rank above character's rank: 50% resistance
    Fire spell 2 ranks above character's rank: 40% resistance
    Fire spell 3 ranks above character's rank: 30% resistance
    Fire spell 4 ranks above character's rank: 15% resistance
    Fire spell 5 ranks above character's rank: 5% resistance
    Fire spells of own origin: Absolute resistance

    The above list would be entirely acceptable. In the end it is your decision how to deal with the resistance towards fire. You can also make it rank based, depending on character. But as said, entirely your decision ^^


    Weaknesses:

    -Fire user has no power against a wind user or water user, especially if the wizard is a rank or two higher then them.<<< Alright, in this universe there is no such thing as "unstoppable" or "no power against (any specific thing)". These magics are of course be stronger towards your listed types of magic (wind and water). BUT, that's it. They will have twice the effecteness towards your magic, and your magic spells will only only have half of the effectiveness towards other spells of those elements.

    Additionally, I would advise you to replace the wind element with the earth element or the iron element. Because as I said above, it is usually that fire > wind


    -Fire magic is hard to control, and move, takes up a lot of concentration. <<< I feel that you're limiting yourself with this o.o' If your magic is hard to control and takes concentration it can be stronger, but ultimately you will need to properly incorporate this weakness. To make your spells slightly stronger than the average, you would need to add this to this weakness:

    - "[...] takes up a lot of concentration, meaning before firing a spell there will always be a small charging time that leaves the user open for attacks. He will need to stand still or at least won't be able to move much during charging otherwise the spells will lose half of their effectiveness.

    Anything else won't be acceptable :/

    I would advise you to replace this weakness with:

    - This magic's defensive moves are not as strong. It barely has any defensive moves and while versatile, it often lacks the correct defense to counter strong magic.

    This weakness would imply that you can concentrate more on versatility as well as offense. Anyway, just a suggestion.


    -Drains the users body, especially depending on the spell their using. Usually a more a higher ranked spell if they aren't trained to use it yet, will drain their magical energy more quickly than other wizards.  <<< You need to give a number for the additional drain on magic power. I would make this dependant on rank again. This would be acceptable:

    D Rank spells: +2% additional magic drain
    C Rank spells: +4% additional magic drain
    B Rank spells: +6% additional magic drain
    A Rank spells: +8% additional magic drain
    S Rank spells: +10% additional magic drain
    H Rank spells: +15% additional magic drain

    Giving your magic an additional magic power drain would also mean you can make the spells slightly stronger and pack more effects into them than the average fire user who doesn't drain more magic power. Now, those numbers are just a proposition. But numbers need to be there if you're going to say drains more magic power than normal.

    Additionally, you can not use a higher ranked spell in ANY case. Those numbers would apply for the spells once you're their rank.


    -All flames, except a flame that is poisioness will affect the Fire Mage.  <<< I thought that flames didn't affect the fire mage? o.O In any case, this weakness would still be allowed if you state:

    - Flames equipped with one of the elemental weaknesses or poison magic will have full effectiveness and ignore the user's resistance towards fire.


    <<< To make a cut here, I think I understood your weaknesses and strengths correctly. In case I didn't, you're free to correct me and explain how you actually meant those strengths and weaknesses. If I got them right, please decide how you want to lay them out (you're free to use my propositions) and edit them as asked.

    Abilities/Powers:

    -Able to make fire appear in his hand, or anywhere he wants with just the thought, or flick of his fingers.  <<< You will be allowed small amounts of fire at D Rank. As this progresses, you will of course be able to cast more, but please keep in mind that you're the lowest possible rank. You're not going to clad yourself in flames at D Rank without registering it as a spell.

    -Able to heal others with a special blue flame, but not himself. The blue flame doesn't burn, and feels like a soft warm blanket, rubbing against the other. Takes up a lot of his power though, which often leads to him passing out. If he wants to save others from death, he cannot do that with this ability.  <<< Please add "Is able to heal minor cuts and wounds with this fire magic due to its versatile aspect."


    D Rank Spells:
    [/color]


    Soooo, that was all pretty much. I know I wrote a lot, but don't get disheartened. I like this magic as I'm a fire mage myself! So I just got intricate on your functionings :3 But please answer all of my questions and edit when I asked you to edit.

    Cheers, Adele!

    PS: I'll be awaiting your bump.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Lyserg - Grizz - Sinbad

    Character
    Simba
    Simba

    Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Veteran Level 1- Magic Application Approved!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Player 
    Lineage : Nature's Blessing
    Position : None
    Posts : 176
    Guild : Tᴀʀᴛᴀʀᴜs
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 27
    Mentor : Aʟ-Tʜᴀᴍᴇɴ
    Experience : 800

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Bʟᴀᴄᴋ Mᴀɢɪᴄ
    Second Skill: -
    Third Skill:

    Kyo's Magic Empty Re: Kyo's Magic

    Post by Simba 19th March 2014, 8:36 pm

    Alright, edited everything.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________


    Main Theme / Approaching:
    Grizzly
    Grizzly

    Planeswalker


    Planeswalker

    X-Mas Event Participant- Player 
    Lineage : Aspect of Vulcan
    Position : None
    Posts : 703
    Guild : Guildless
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 135

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Barrier Magic
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Kyo's Magic Empty Re: Kyo's Magic

    Post by Grizzly 29th March 2014, 8:19 am

    Approved


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Lyserg - Grizz - Sinbad

    Character

      Current date/time is 17th November 2024, 2:57 pm