Snow Make Magic

Primary Magic: Snow Make
Secondary Magic:N/A
Caster or Holder: Caster
Description: Max can use Snow creation magic,he can create brilliant white Snow that when compressed can form barriers or when loosened up, it can cushion a fall from a high height. Snow can not match the solid form of ice and it requires a lot of focus and concentration to make it absorb one impact alone, most attacks are cushioned as the snow compresses.

Strengths:
-Can freeze water
-Chills the opponent making them really cold.

Weaknesses:
-Melts quickly on warm day's
-Melts extremely fast against fire or heat based magic
-Can easily be deflected or blocked
-Can't be used in Extreme temperature climates(ex: Volcanic)
-Snow can become too heavy with water and become slush and unresponsive to Max's magic
-Must use both hand's to use magic

Abilities/Powers:

Name: Snow Make: Pillar

Spoiler:

Name: Snow make: White Out

Spoiler:

Name: Snow Make: Cannon

Spoiler:

Name: Hypothermia

Spoiler:

Name: Snow Make: Fist's

Spoiler:

Name: Snow Make: Arrow's

Spoiler:

Bump

Magic section:
Please give more information in the description about the magic. The reason for this is because it seems as though SNow Make is no differant than Ice Make, except that it doesn't have to be 100% solid constantly like Ice does. Please define exactly what Snow Make magic is.
More strengths, there are more strengths within this magic that you have mentioned. Please add them there.
More weaknesses There are more weaknesses that you can think of. I want to see at least four more. It is snow, you can easily figure it out.

Spells:
Pillar of snow- how far can the pillar be cast away from the user, how high does the pillar go, is there a warning sign of where it is going to appear when it is casted like a magic circle? Is it a defensive spell, an offensive spell, a utility spell? What type of damage does it do? How does it compare to armor if used against other opponents?

White Out- What about those outside of the spell? It is clearly a short to medium range spell, making that a weakness. Does it have any other benefits?

Snow Canon- Pure magical power would melt the canon upon charging it up. How is this exactly done? How far can the canon shoot? How large is it? Snapping one's fingers to summon a canon, when they need to clap their hands for almost every other spell, especially when this one is clearly one of the strongest= no sense.

Flash Freeze- How large is this affect? Flash Freeze is more of Ice Magic than snow magic, so it goes against your character's abilities. How can a canon be blended into an icy environment? You do not say that the environment is covered in snow, you say it freezes everything- ergo it is all ice. The canon would still be noticeable. How does this exactly boost any of your spells? Are there any more draw backs against the user. You even mentioned it takes a lot of magical power, so what is the range to help counter balance this? You have already one spell- White Out- that seems to do the same thing, but actually be able to really boost your spells due to it being snow, so what is the exact point of this spell?

Snow Prism- It is an instant win, so give details as to when he would use this technique. For it to be able to instantly end a fight if used on an enemy gives it too much power, I want to see that cool down in fight extended by one more post.

Snow Arrow- more detail for this spell, two more strengths, two or three more weaknesses.

bump when edited.

i added more strengths and weaknesses for the magic overall,

I switched out Prism with Fist's as i felt Prism was too strong of an ability for a D rank mage to have. i also renamed Flash freeze to hypothermia and made it so it is just a personal Buff. i also changed the cannon from pure magical energy to a snow fist.

added the requested info for White out

and added requested info for the Pillar.

White out- Freezing isn't a relative term to any temperature. You missed a comma between "drops visibility to 5 feet, makes temperature freezing". Why can Max see in the white out and no one else? Also, the strength says that it limits visibility to 5 feet, but in description it says zero. "and anyone caught outside the blizzard will only see a 30 foot tall Blizzard pillar surround an area. Everyone Caught inside is affected by the the Cold, Allies and foe alike." caught outside the blizzard, reword that. affected by the cold how? it doesn't do damage does it, it goes against one of your weaknesses.

Snow Cannon-"As long as the fists are held in position the charge is retained within the Cannon. It travels at a high rate of speed to the target. hits for moderate Damage." high rate of speed would be? Moderate damage? Give a comparison, ex. a desert eagle to a bunny. "As long as the charge is being maintained, no other spell can be cast. if Hand's move from position the spell is dissipated without firing the charge. must stay within 5 feet of Cannon or else it dissipates." capitalize the first letter in every sentence, always. Also, if you move hands it dissipates, making the third weakness redundant, make a new weakness.

Please, run over the grammar errors in every spell, such as capitalization and punctuation.

Hypothermia- "Every post, range dissipates, re word that."

Fists-"Moderate physical Damage dealt to the enemy. can block 1 D rank spell. if Max wills it he can explode his fist on impact for another attack." Again, moderate? second sentence capitalization. If they explode, does it do damage to him or the opponent, or both?

Arrows- What is the maximum number of arrows, add on to the description.

Pillar- "Can be used to hide One self, can be used to knock the enemy off balance."Oh really? a fifteen foot tall pillar can hide you? What is the diameter of the pillar?

Bump when edited

Bump edited i believe

Cannon-"As long as the charge is being maintained, no other spell can be cast. if Hand's move from position the spell is dissipated without firing the charge. must stay within 5 feet of Cannon or else it dissipates." again, change weakness, it will already disapate if he lets go, therefore he cannot be away from the cannon.

White out- It's good!

Pillar- It's good!

Fists-It's good!

Hypothermia-It's good!

Arrows-It's good!

Bump when edited.

Edited, i changed it so he now only only form it within 4 feet of himself

Like you said, if he is not holding the caanon it dissapeates, so if he doesnt make it in his hands it will melt.

Bump when edited

for the cannon it reads, that if i do not hold the hand signs, it melts. it forms on the ground next to me. just if i move my hands to defend, it just melts on the ground. while i hold the hands still it will not melt.

so i am confused as to what you want me to edit.

Bump

"Description: Max collides both of his fists together, drawing one back much like a bow. Upon full extent, a snowy cannon is formed beside him. When his pulled back fist is opened, the cannon fires, releasing a hardened packing snow bolt in the shape of a fist at his opponent.

Strengths: As long as his fist is drawn back, he can retain the charge of the cannon. The fist fires at a high velocity much like a cheetah at full speed, and hits for moderates damage, much like a heavy weight boxer.

Weaknesses: As long as the charge is being maintained, no other spell can be cast. If his hands move, without first firing his charge, the charge is lost and the cannon crumbles and melts on the ground. Max can only form the cannon within five feet of himself."

Zenshin is saying that you have to be holding it or else it melts according to what you said

may you point out the EXACT phrase where i say i have to be HOLDING the cannon? it forms on the ground next to me. i just hold a pose.

I read through it and I have noticed that you don't have to hold it, but you do have a bit of contradiction. It says you have to hold the hand sign or the snow melts.....but to fire it, you have to release the sign, thus it would melt before it fires.

well it does say if my hands move without first firing the charge it melts. so i can fire it and then move my hands. but to fire it i release my one hand. like im releasing an arrow from a bow. making the edits now

"If his hands move, without first firing his charge, the charge is lost and the cannon crumbles and melts on the ground. Max can only form the cannon within five feet of himself." If his hands move, it is destroyed, he cant form the cannon withing five feet of himself.

This looks all good to me. I honestly don't know wth Zenshin is being so anal about with the cannon. Makes perfect sense to me :S I approve considering Night started this app and Sei has given me permission to finish his work while he has no/minimal internet access.