Hopefully (Not) Fried Chicken.

Spoiler:

It had been a long while since Mei had been back in a civil society, in fact, it felt like an eternity since she had. She had been learning from an older gentleman the finer points of a new style of magic one that had gotten rid of her worries involving the older magic infecting her to the point of corruption, and managed to make her completely pure, at least according to his words. Normally she would have been skeptical, but there was just something about his words that made him sound so sweet and sincere that Mei almost couldn't help but believe him. His words were all true, though, she looked different she was healed from the corruption that flooded her mind from the last magic, no longer did she really feel the restraint of self-consciousness upon her mind to the point of paranoia, now she could finally act like her natural.

So what was Mei going to do with her new found purity, why catch a chicken, of course, wouldn't you? It was so simple really, and it made so much sense from a derpy point of view. Catching a chicken in a town of clovers, why naturally this would allow her to test her skill... that or she was so poor now and all her previous food had gone bad so she was stuck trying to earn tomorrow's meal with these small little jobs. Perhaps though it wouldn't be so bad, apparently someone else had signed up for this style of job too... maybe they just liked fried chicken or something.

”Again?”

This man couldn’t keep his wits or hens about him, the overly large beasts constantly breaking out of the cheapskate’s horrible fences…never mind they probably hopped out half the time. Seeing the quest back up on the board left the girl sighing…but tempted. Mao would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit it’d been quite entertaining to ride the super-sized avian. First it’d bucked this way and that, running about in a general chaotic mess trying to rid itself of the cumbersome thing stuck to its back – likely reacting in typical prey mentality to remove a predator – but once it tired out it’d become docile like a tamed horse and permitted the mage to ride it back into its pen. ’I hope he’s at least added some sort of roofing to the pen. Last I recall it was just mostly high fencing they could probably climb out of…’

Someone else answered the call so this time she wouldn’t be allowed, but the man couldn’t for the life of him recall the name so she shrugged and tacked herself onto the job. Worse came to worse some help rounding the thing up wouldn’t go unwelcomed.

As she walked up she noticed some stranger standing there, ”Are you the other one who signed up? My name is Mao, it’s a pleasure to have help this time.”

As Mei wandered around and finally found the coop of kooks she heard a familiar voice cry out towards her, could it truly be someone she had met before, finally they would see the majestic form that her new master had graced her with to rid the corruption from her body. Now they would see Mei for who she truly was and total not some weird nut job that was into some kind of Miasma cult thing at all, now she was a weird nut job into this new master! Totally better, I swear.

"Oh uh Mao, it's nice to see you again, I see you signed up for this clucking good time as well!"

Mei said, winking at Mao and smiling a bit. This was cool, Mei was so glad she would be able to hang out with Mao a bit, after all Mei hadn't really seen her much outside of one or two jobs... ugh just thinking about that job made her feel angry, but she didn't know why. They had stopped the bad guy's but why did she just feel like punching someone in the face, and why did Aiyana come to mind.

"So you ready to stop this foul most foul, I bet it's running around as we speak tormenting everyone with it's nuggets of destruction, or it's just looking for some random food on the ground to eat... I guess."

It was sort of like other instances in her life, where the woman’s brain just straight up stopped. The hamster required a break from its constant running as she blinked at the woman who spoke so familiarly…and yet no recollections came to Mao. ”I’m sorry, I must have the wrong person…” She turned around to leave, but the words tumbled around her noggin some more and forced the confused mage to turn back to the strange girl with her head cocked to the side.

”Do…I know you? You don’t look…nor sound….familiar.” She frowned as eyes roamed up and down, but the appearance really didn’t click with any names or people she believed she knew. ’I’m not forgetting again am I? But at the same time this does seem to be the person I’m to work with if those puns are anything to go by.’ Gods this was so confusing, and how rude it must’ve been to forget someone and then admit it so blatantly! Yet Mao didn’t want to pretend to recognize this odd person because that’d be even more awkward, especially if/when she slipped up during the job.

Asking was just easier.

So Mao didn't remember Mei? Course Mao didn't remember, Mei had a shiny new and younger body that was filled with pure awesome. her new master had made it, of course, which made it even better, and more powerful than last time. Still though Mei could understand Mao's confusion, for she simply wasn't used to this level of perfection yet... huh, why did that sound so familiar? Was Mei thinking quickly, or was she somehow being manipulated by some other force that could touch threads... oh well no need to worry about it when she could talk about how awesome she is.

"Oh I'm sorry Mao, it's me, Mei, you wouldn't remember I recently got an upgrade in all departments. I suppose it's fine, though, I mean you look good like always, uh I mean... so you ready to try and catch a chicken!?"

Just because Mei isn't shy doesn't mean she can't be awkward! Perhaps that was Mei's charm, she always knew exactly how to screw up something didn't she? It was a talent, but this time she knew she was in the right, that she had done something good for once, she had finally chosen a master who was perfectly helpful and nice, finally she was on the path to not screwing up royally.

Really? ”…Huh…” Mao’s head tilted the other way as she processed this information, not entirely sure she should believe it at face value. In a funny way however, it felt and sounded like Mei if only to the small degree Mao recognized. On the plus side she was also far less dark sounding compared to their last job so maybe this change was for the better?

”Yes…lets…go catch that chicken.” Gods now the awkward air didn’t want to lift like some horrible miasmic cloud surrounding them. Walking past the girl she nodded, trying to move on from that moment, ”Well, the chicken should be somewhere up ahead according to the farmer, though he said we should tread carefully given that it seems to be in something of a….what did he call it…’Roid Rage? But magic version?’ I don’t really understand, just that it apparently attacked him and gave the farmer some nasty wounds on his arm….and yet…he doesn’t want it to come to harm.”

If it’d been Mao then the thing would probably just be cooked for dinner and done with it, but maybe they needed to prepare it some special way so simply removing the head like most chickens didn’t cut it? Oh gods….was she….was she catching pun-making?! Lightly Mao patted her cheeks, as if to snap out of something as she kept an eye out for the large beastie.

Suddenly this just got really awkward, and Mei hadn't even started talking about how awesome her master was at all. Well now she certainly couldn't talk about that, and instead needed to focus on catching those breasts... chicken breasts that is. She had a thigh problem going about it, though, the chicken was clearly clever in its ruse of hiding. It was a hen short of being where Mei wished for it to be located, the coop. Using her little trinket Mei scanned the area for this chicken, and after a while of only finding cowards she managed to locate the "massive" beast. To be honest Mei almost wanted to roast it for dinner but that was a terrible idea... it was farm raised and not natural which meant more chemicals and calories, and a girl had to watch her red hot figure after all.

"I am (have) located the chicken, he's in the other alleyway, or maybe it is a she I didn't bother to check. Regardless how should we catch the thing, it's just standing there and eating something on the ground, perhaps we should try and sneak up on it, or should we jump down and surprise it, or uh... I suppose we could... no, we couldn't do that it'd be wrong."

For some reason, Mei felt like eating it, and not for the sake of satisfying hunger, but for the sake of just eating it to annoy the farmer. Such a strange thought, Mei suppressed it for now, but perhaps she was acting so foul because she really was hungry, maybe she would get something to eat after this, five servings of something should calm her down.

”We just have to be careful in how we scare it…well mostly in which direction, the thing’s jump and agility is probably heightened thanks to the enhancements,” and it’d be just their luck if the stupid thing went the opposite direction of where they wanted. So the question became: how did they corral it in the desired direction? They weren’t allowed to harm it either…did…did the chicken know that though? ”I suppose…if we go after it like predators…we might have some chance…hmm….Well with your miasma magic we can probably intimidate it. And…to be honest I don’t think it’s gotten any smarter from last time so if you can at least scare it towards that building I’ll jump down from the balcony of that shop there and just…do what I did last time.”

Mao turned to Mei and bluntly, without a smile or sign that she was joking, stated, ”Ride it into victory I guess.” Because all true heroes ride chickens into glorious combat and come out the victor. I’m sure in some children’s story book or children’s card game it made sense somewhere. Either way Mao jogged off towards the shop in order to get to its second floor while Mei would prepare their little “surprise” for the prey.

"Yes, you are right I suppose I could scare it and you could ride it to victory."

Why did that seem normal? Whatever Mei wanted to eat it so why couldn't Mao ride the chicken, though Mei should have checked to see what it was if Mao was going to try and ride it... unless she meant... oh right then no it wasn't needed but Mao might need a saddle, perhaps Mei could craft one out of Miasma for her. As Mei snuck around the corner she looked towards the chicken and prepared to summon some of the Miasma underneath the creature and thus keep it bound for Mao to catch a ride easily.

It was at this moment upon summoning forth her magic that Mei remember, she had just spent a month training a different style of magic. Fried chicken might be on the menu.

A lava plume hit underneath the chicken as Mei yelled out,

"RUN CHICKEN RUN!"

The chicken barely responding in time to avoid the blow it started to flap it's wings every which way, and Mei backed off and tried to manipulate the lava from the thing, she didn't want it to become extra crispy chicken after all, she didn't have any spices... no, the job called for her to not hurt it, yeah that's why, and totally not cause she didn't have any spices for it.

"Mao get the chicken I'm going to go and make sure that the job is reported as done before the chicken is well done!"

With that Mei tried to sneak off a bit trusting Mao to either catch the chicken, or come up with a very convincing lie as to why said chicken wasn't within the realm of the living, either way for some stupid reason was okay with Mei. Why was she feeling so evil lately, oh well it didn't matter the job was done well... right?

Understatement alert: ’Well…that was unexpected.’

The surprising change of magic – and the even more disconcerting plume of lava that cropped up – almost caused Mao to miss her cue. Things really heated up however as managed to secure her landing all the same, causing the panicked bird to slightly trip up, yet they avoided completely falling over as it scrambled to continue escaping the sudden threat of dinnertime. Could a chicken’s life even flash before its eyes? There was no time to question it as Mao urged it to continue its speedy getaway as a few feathers on the magically enhanced poultry and a few hairs on Mao’s tail became singed due to the sudden heat.

Burnt feathers smelled awful, but she managed to pluck them, rub some mint on the tuckered out fowl, and wash the area so the fellow would be none the wiser. Besides it’s not like they’d actually brought harm to it, merely a few pointless feathers and with a plush rump like that who would notice? Once the thing flopped onto a pile of hey in its cage Mao knew they were in the clear, despite it eying her with a hint of annoyance…possibly revenge. Honestly the girl wasn’t quite sure what emotions a chicken might be capable of experiencing or portraying, let alone one that aspired to become Godzilla in size. ’Hopefully they’re only increasing the size and not it’s brain functions….otherwise we might be in real trouble next time.’

‘Oh well, no matter.’