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    ReQuip Magic - Enma

    Axel
    Axel

    Player 
    Lineage : Pride of a Mercenary
    Position : None
    Posts : 15
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill:
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    ReQuip Magic - Enma Empty ReQuip Magic - Enma

    Post by Axel 27th August 2014, 8:42 am

    Primary Magic: ReQuip Magic.
    Secondary Magic: N/A
    Caster or Holder: Caster
    Description: This Magic allows the users to store items in a pocket dimension so they can easily summon it at any time, even during battle, which gives them a high level of flexibility in combat. However, there is a limit to how much the pocket dimension can store.

    Enma preferably uses a samurai sword, along with a big strange looking shield practically floating around his sword. He uses his sword and shield this way so that he has a hand free to help his comrades. With this, he can also quickly shift from offense to defense. This shield of his can change shape to his will, expanding it or shrinking it.

    Strengths:

    As a highly physical mage the user has a higher level of base strength than the average mage

    Effective in one on one combat.

    Quick handling between offense and defense.


    Weaknesses:

    May be put in a tough spot while fighting multiple opponents. Depends on the weapon used.

    weapons can also hurt his allies, if the battle is crowded.

    Most Weapons can be eaten by metal/iron slayers.

    Using both the shield and sword will deplete mp quicker due to practically using 2 spells at once.


    Abilities/Powers: The user is able to use any weapon with a moderate level of proficiency even if they have never used it before.

    D-rank spells:


    Last edited by Enma on 27th August 2014, 2:31 pm; edited 2 times in total
    Grizzly
    Grizzly

    Planeswalker


    Planeswalker

    X-Mas Event Participant- Player 
    Lineage : Aspect of Vulcan
    Position : None
    Posts : 703
    Guild : Guildless
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 135

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Barrier Magic
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    ReQuip Magic - Enma Empty Re: ReQuip Magic - Enma

    Post by Grizzly 27th August 2014, 11:38 am

    So, before I address your coding issues, I'll make sure that you understand the formalities of the magic template.

    Starting from the top, your magic description is lacking quite a bit. Two sentences is not nearly enough. I would like for you to seriously think about how Enma as a character uses Requip magic and encase that into your Magic Description.

    Furthermore, the rules state that at least THREE strengths and FOUR weaknesses are a requirement.

    Next, you have FOUR spells of D Rank to use. It's not a requirement to use them, but for your own sake I won't approve this app before I don't see AT LEAST two spells with your magic. Spells are a necessity, you won't survive long with only one.

    Ultimately, it seems you haven't read the Requip rules all that thoroughly.

    Requip Magic Rules:

    You currently have one spell that you need a weapon for, without actually requipping a weapon with any of your spells. So, I would recommend that you create the 3 other spells you have and imbue the spell you currently have into one of your spell weapons.

    If you have any questions, feel free to ask. As of now, this app is incomplete and I can't approve it though. Sorry.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Lyserg - Grizz - Sinbad

    Character
    Axel
    Axel

    Player 
    Lineage : Pride of a Mercenary
    Position : None
    Posts : 15
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill:
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    ReQuip Magic - Enma Empty Re: ReQuip Magic - Enma

    Post by Axel 27th August 2014, 11:43 am

    About the description thingy, it seems I was stupid enough to forget that part... Sorry about that..
    And I could have sworn I had 3 strengths and four weaknesses, something must have gone wrong I guess. And I forgot to put up the spells for weapons... Ugh, I shouldn't make important things like these when I'm tired... Thanks for the advice! I'll get to it as fast as possible!


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    ReQuip Magic - Enma CmbFfX8
    Axel
    Axel

    Player 
    Lineage : Pride of a Mercenary
    Position : None
    Posts : 15
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill:
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    ReQuip Magic - Enma Empty Re: ReQuip Magic - Enma

    Post by Axel 27th August 2014, 2:33 pm

    Bump.

    This should be good.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    ReQuip Magic - Enma CmbFfX8
    Grizzly
    Grizzly

    Planeswalker


    Planeswalker

    X-Mas Event Participant- Player 
    Lineage : Aspect of Vulcan
    Position : None
    Posts : 703
    Guild : Guildless
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 135

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Barrier Magic
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    ReQuip Magic - Enma Empty Re: ReQuip Magic - Enma

    Post by Grizzly 2nd September 2014, 3:37 am

    All my comments are in red.

    Enma wrote:Primary Magic: ReQuip Magic.
    Secondary Magic: N/A
    Caster or Holder: Caster
    Description: This Magic allows the users to store items in a pocket dimension so they can easily summon it at any time, even during battle, which gives them a high level of flexibility in combat. However, there is a limit to how much the pocket dimension can store.

    Enma preferably uses a samurai sword, along with a big strange looking shield practically floating around his sword. He uses his sword and shield this way so that he has a hand free to help his comrades. With this, he can also quickly shift from offense to defense. This shield of his can change shape to his will, expanding it or shrinking it.

    Strengths:

    As a highly physical mage the user has a higher level of base strength than the average mage

    Effective in one on one combat.

    Quick handling between offense and defense.


    Weaknesses:

    May be put in a tough spot while fighting multiple opponents. Depends on the weapon used.

    weapons can also hurt his allies, if the battle is crowded.

    Most Weapons can be eaten by metal/iron slayers.

    Using both the shield and sword will deplete mp quicker due to practically using 2 spells at once. <<< You can simply state that "this magic is mana draining and taxing on stamina as it requires constant upkeep of spells to be effective" and generalize the whole statement instead of giving one specific example ^^


    Abilities/Powers: The user is able to use any weapon with a moderate level of proficiency even if they have never used it before.

    D-rank spells:


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Lyserg - Grizz - Sinbad

    Character
    Axel
    Axel

    Player 
    Lineage : Pride of a Mercenary
    Position : None
    Posts : 15
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill:
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    ReQuip Magic - Enma Empty Re: ReQuip Magic - Enma

    Post by Axel 2nd September 2014, 3:52 am

    I scrapped Enma.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    ReQuip Magic - Enma CmbFfX8
    Grizzly
    Grizzly

    Planeswalker


    Planeswalker

    X-Mas Event Participant- Player 
    Lineage : Aspect of Vulcan
    Position : None
    Posts : 703
    Guild : Guildless
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 135

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Barrier Magic
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    ReQuip Magic - Enma Empty Re: ReQuip Magic - Enma

    Post by Grizzly 2nd September 2014, 10:40 am

    Archived.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Lyserg - Grizz - Sinbad

    Character

      Current date/time is 20th November 2024, 8:31 am