Mr. Azarov? Or Mrs. Silversong? (Event w Theo)

Her invitation couldn't have come at a better time.

Theo had his good and bad days, and while most of them lately were bad, he was able to muddle through them with some semblance of his normal goofy energy. Pretending to be okay sometimes made him forget that he wasn't, but on the flip side, when he had no one to pretend for the cavern of despair in his chest threatened to swallow him whole. The agonizing ache of loss paralyzed him at times. The poor boy sat nestled in his surprisingly bare living quarters within the resort-like guild, wrapped into a mound of blankets that only his eyes and nose peeked from. He wasn't particularly cold or anything, yet he sat there in the pile at the center of his standard-issue bed, unmoving. He just soaked in the comfort and pressure of the cocoon he'd built as if he was on the receiving end of a hug without having to worry if the giver of said hug would fall out of his grasp forever.

Frigid hues slowly roved the room, though he wasn't particularly looking at it. There was nothing to see. Unlike his room in the underbelly of the Crystalli, it was void of his dramatic flair and penchant for riches. His King's bed with its gold pillars and heavy, royal purple curtains had gone down with the flying ship. The shiny riches and treasures he'd displayed in his magic room were sitting in the bottom of an ocean, along with so many memories that he thought they'd choke the very air from his lungs. Picnics of waffles and blueberry muffins on quilts on his bedroom floor, late morning cuddles, two sets of hands rousing him out of vivid dreams to start the workday. Both of the people belonging to those hands were gone.

The original plan for today had been to head out on a long expedition into the unknown lands in Joya to search for a particularly strong talisman that the R&D folks had heard rumor of and wished to study. Theo just couldn't bring himself to climb into his flying ship alone to go at the moment. The treasure hunter dearly loved the activity and most times it could stave off even the heaviest moods, but this gloom had virtually sucked all the color out of his world. As far as he knew, his treasure hunting buddy was still out on jobs, so he couldn't imagine who it was suddenly knocking on his door unless it was Leona wondering what crack her Ace had fallen into for the past few days. The strange, quiet knocking continued. The longer it went, the more it actually sounded like tapping. Tap, tap, tap, tap. The tapping was burrowing its way into his brain. Annoying...stop tapping...

Theo slowly emerged from his pile of blankets, looking like a crumpled blanket himself. His signature tracksuit was twisted and wrinkled as if he'd been wallowing in bed with it on for days...and that was exactly the case. Sore legs shuffled to the door and he cracked it open only to see nothing. He nearly slammed it shut, but then noted the tapping hadn't stopped. It sounded lower than he thought. Peering down, he finally noticed the metal cutlery creature. "Eh?" he vocalized in surprise, opening the door fully to crouch for a better look. The messenger hopped into his hand when he reached out. The jello mage wondered who made it and why it was here, then saw the papers.

Taking the brochure and the note, he sat the little thing back down since its job was done. As it did whatever it needed to do post-mission, Theo's icy eyes puzzled over the brochure. There were a lot of hearts for some reason. His brows furrowed. It was that time of year, wasn't it? More dread pooled into his guts as his mind slipped into even darker places that even the pictures of cake couldn't pull him from. Enough of that, now the note. He stared at it for a long time dumbly, forgetting he couldn't actually read it. Right. The brain damage. Bare feet padded across the room to his nightstand that stood bare other than a cord and an iLac. Snatching up the device, he fumbled through the little square apps until he found the one he wanted. Using the camera in the device to scan each of the papers, he waited for it to do its thing and then playback the words audibly. Convenient.

Odd. The event flyer was for attending a fake wedding thrown by the same chocolate company he'd worked for last year in an effort of launching their new business venture. Hopefully, there'd be a distinct lack of homicidal jesters this year. He still saw that murder clown's face in his dreams sometimes... Anyway, he wasn't sure what the flyer had to do with him and was about to hop back into his depression nest when it robotically read out the note that accompanied it.

Oh. Aspen was back.

Without another thought, Theo turned and started stripping off his mussed clothing on his way to the shower. It was like a switch flipped. The man who had been quite dead set on hermiting in his empty room was now keen to go to Rose Garden to meet his friend. He quickly cleaned up and put on a fresh tracksuit then rushed out to his ship to fly himself to the indicated town. Was he interested in weddings? Far from it. Honestly, he knew it wouldn't be easy. If he thought about it too hard, it'd be quite painful, especially considering he'd contemplated marriage twice before. There was still a ring nestled in a hiding place that was now a watery grave, his intentions stalled by the event and then dashed with her death. Ah, but this wasn't a real wedding. And this was Aspen. As much as he tried to not form any attachment, clearly he was a big fat failure because he could barely keep from running just to meet her once he landed in Rose Garden. Dusty brown boots carried him through the flowery town, heading to the appropriate area. His smile was back as he hung around the entrance to the fake wedding, prepared to tackle the day's activities with her...or so he thought.

   

   

"Silly side-kick," Theo tutted, a teasingly smug look crossing his ever expressive features as he waggled an index finger at her, "Of course I, the Great Treasure Hunter, would answer your invitation," he finished with a grandiose bow, though upon rising back up he was grinning and snickering. This Theo was a far cry from the one suffering in lonely silence in his room at the guild a short time before. He was absolutely terrible at lying and acting, but it wasn't lying if there were still shreds of his derpy self living amongst the depressing muck. That and he'd do anything to make someone else happy, even if it hurt himself in the long run. "I've been hunky-dory. Livin' the dream," he answered her with smile wide-enough to crinkle the corners of his eyes. His lips parted to counter her question with his own, but his already short attention span was stolen away by someone approaching them.

Theo was content to stay silent while Aspen interacted with the man, still unsure if he was truly up to rubbing his own nose in reminders of dead happiness. He was here so he knew he had to now, but there was a level of mental preparation that was taking place. Yes, he knew it was fake. But could he handle watching even fake lovers get married, enjoying something he'd only allowed himself begin to entertain when it was all ripped away? Was this level of torture worth cake? Cake was pretty important...he adored cake. Eating cake with his friend would be nice, maybe it'd perk him up a little--

Wait, huh??

A light sweat began on Theo's brow as the fancypants man mentioned the pair would be playing the bride and groom. All he could do was stand and stare at the gentleman and the mini-army that followed him, frosty blues wide in terror. Just keeping thinking about cake. The cake. Cake was worth it. Cake cake cake cake! They'd been betrayed by cake. The cake was a lie. A trap!

Talk about some deja vu. Theo had the distinct feeling he'd been here before, playing the groom across a different girl. There had been singing, something about making a man out of someone....and honestly, he knew it wasn't anything he'd done with Rin. So who was that other girl he was seeing? That wasn't any memory of his, though he had come to terms with the loss of time between his most recent death and his regaining of consciousness in the middle of a tomb in Desierto with Leona. Who he had been before and what he'd done was still a mystery, but he did get little snippets every now and then. He called them Ikevisions, since 'Ike' was who the Kurao and Theo hybrid had been masquerading as. According to Ikevision, he'd been so nervous that he nearly passed out. He'd endeavor not to do that today, though admittedly it'd get both of them out of this situation.

As much as he wasn't totally committed to carrying on, within seconds of the revelation his choice in the matter would be robbed from him. As hands reached out for him, he turned to run away, only to get his own feet tangled together. "ACK!" he squawked, lurching forward to eat gravel, but his face never met the rocks. Two of the three women kidnapping him were deceptively strong, no doubt to wrangle runaway grooms, so they easily hoisted him over their heads and carried him off almost like a hog to be cooked over an open flame. Though his vision was now upside-down, his eyes darted to Aspen. He only caught the smallest glance of her flushed face before they were both basically hauled down opposing hallways. "Wait-" he tried to slow the determined women to no avail. He wanted to talk to Aspen! They could back out! He could at least find out what she was thinking. He'd never seen her blush like that before. It was...cute. Ugh, now was not the time for that. No more of that...

The door closed and suddenly they were upon him like bees on the last wildflower. Measuring tape was wrapped around every nook and cranny as he was spun in place. "Iiiee! Don't touch me there!" he squeaked as someone cupped his butt. Whether this was on accident or purposeful was a mystery, nor could he tell which of them had done it. It was such a flurry of motion that it was dizzying...or maybe it was because he couldn't breathe. He wasn't sure when his tracksuit had been switched out for the dapper suit, but he did vaguely remember the flash of light now that he thought about it. It was so tight that his chest couldn't expand. As he wobbled backward, the elderly twin to Aspen's granny aid pulled him forward by the jacket folds with a gentle cackle. "Oh, hold on just a jiffy, son. Don't go passing out! We're fresh out of smelling salts," she teased in sagely grace, very used to skittish grooms losing consciousness. With another snap the suit expanded enough to fit like an expertly tailored suit.

Theo sucked in a healthy portion of air, though it did little to alleviate the dizziness. His pulse was pounding in his ears. If he'd had a much of a heart left, there was no doubt it'd have been pulsating at a frenzied pace, rattling around in its bony cage, not unlike a newly trapped bird. As it was, the demonic energy acting as the two ventricles was trying to push blood through the weak aorta and the damaged remnants of arteries and could only do so much under pressure. It wasn't a proper heart, after all. Sometimes it couldn't keep up with autonomic responses, especially spastic ones from his plant-based replacement nervous system. This unfortunate combination was what ultimately claimed his life again after Rin's death.

Someone was fixing his hair and adjusting his tie, then the two younger helpers scattered and the elder led him toward a body-length mirror. Looking at her comforted him a little. She reminded him of Waltrud Bonbon, the kind old granny who had just wanted a cup of morning coffee and instead got a very confused boy breaking out of her machine. She'd been so patient with him, taking the time to get him acclimated to the futuristic times and even passing down her magic to him since she had no children of her own. The fiesty old bat had been a little older than this fashionista, but there was something in the hunched posture and the bright eyes that was familiar. "You look absolutely dashing. Your bride should be more than a little bedazzled, don't you think?"

The blue-tinted ebony hair swished as he turned his head with force to see. Theo cleaned up nice. His hair was parted on the side so it swooped over one eye. Not a hair was out of place. The suit matched his hair almost exactly, with a lighter muted navy vest and a lilac tie. The gold buttons were polished to sparkle as brightly as treasured coins, a detail the shiny enthusiast couldn't possibly miss. However, no matter how shiny the buttons, they weren't able to distract him from the state of his body. Without the folds and wrinkles of the tracksuit to hide behind, it was painfully obvious how thin his body had become. His frame was so slender that he hardly recognized himself when he took an overall look at the snazzy suit. Next, he noticed the dark circles under his eyes, which apparently caught the eagle-eyed gaze of fashion granny as well. "Quick, some concealer! Pale shade," she barked, holding out an expectant hand full of glittering rings he had to remind himself not to steal. A small salve jar was quickly placed in her palm, lid already off. Her fingers might have been starting to gnarl, but they were still quick. A couple of dots of the stuff were smeared under each of his eyes and blended in, suddenly making him look like a well-rested, healthy man.

"Alright, alright!" she exclaimed suddenly, causing him to jerk and nearly crash into the mirror. The three grabbed him again, pushing him down a hallway to the side and through a door. He was suddenly thrust in front of a decent-sized crowd and the room was set up like a classic wedding chapel. The pews were lined with expectant faces and capped in ribbons. Numbly, his feet took him to stand in front of the floral arch that the officiant stood beneath.

The room continued to list back and forth, to the point that Theo wondered when they'd gotten on a boat. That would be silly, but if these were advertisements for themed weddings, maybe their specialties were nautical nuptials? Nah, it was more that his whole center of gravity couldn't decide where it wanted to settle. It seemed passing out was inevitable until the music suddenly hit an alarming organ tone, indicating the bride was coming. Carefully he turned his head to search for her but he had by no means been prepared for what would greet his peculiar eyes.

He wasn't the only one that cleaned up well. Aspen was a vision in her long, strapless dress and high ponytail. It was simple but effective, and quite a shock. Theo forgot about his own panic for a few moments, standing there and gazing at her with a slightly slack jaw. She was...stunning. Had he ever seen her without some sort of oversized jacket on? Even as she came to stand across from him, he couldn't seem to quite get over his surprise. Snapping his mouth shut, he managed a sheepish, nervous smile at the gun enthusiast across from him, though his cheeks were betraying him by glowing red.

"We have gathered here today..." the man under the arch began the abbreviated ceremony, but those were the only words the derpy man heard. Theo, still a bit dizzy but much more sturdy than before, winked at Aspen as if to ease whatever nerves she might have. Funny, since it seemed his own nerves were probably worse than hers. "You look pretty," he whispered, unsure when he'd reached for her hands. Internally, the emotionally damaged treasure hunter balked at his own words. How dare he?! He might not have shown it on his face, but internally Theo was a mess. How dare he let himself think about her that way. Being her friend was risk to her enough. He was a hazard to peoples' healths. A curse. Was it okay to notice how cute and pretty she was? Probably not. Surely he wasn't allowed this. He killed Tomoe and with Rin gone only around a year, how scummy was he for even allowing himself to notice another woman?

He was the worst.

But his words were nonetheless true. Aspen was pretty. As much as he'd avoided it with as much effort as he could muster, today was the day he had to admit it to himself. Her smirks were endearing, her laugh was infectious, and it was funny to hear her Pergrande accent juxtapositioned with his Desiertan one. Aspen was different than any girl he'd known before. She was a little rough around the edges and existed on coffee and hot chocolate. She was appealing to him, possibly even more so in her usual clothes than this fancy getup. Theo wasn't a fancy man, as seen by his trusty tracksuits and dusty old boots. Yes, he loved riches and wealth, but not the lifestyle that came with it. The pair could be comfortable together. In the end, he'd always be selfish with his desires, but he'd fight it for as long as he could if only to keep her safe. With any luck, she'd reject him and make it easier for both of them.

The ceremony wrapped up quickly and suddenly everyone was clapping, urging the bride and groom to seal the deal in what was the most exciting part of the ritual. Theo blinked rapidly, eyes darting around as his mind was brought back to the present. The officiant cleared his throat, discreetly nodding toward the girl and puckering his lips. Right, the kiss. OH CRAP, the KISS!

In a moment of sheer panic, his mind shut off and he did exactly as he knew was expected at the end of a wedding. Even though he had just been running through all the reasons this was a bad idea and how he wasn't going to ever give Aspen even the slightest hint that he could view her as more than a friend, his rushing blood drowned out the clapping and he leaned down to her, placing his lips gently on hers.

The kiss lasted a little longer than he'd planned. A quick peck had been what his panicked mind was going for, but once he was in there it was like being electrocuted. In much the same way muscles contract and keep those being electrocuted from letting go or moving away, Theo was momentarily powerless to end it. Aspen had leaned into it, something he hadn't even begun to consider. His mouth lingered on hers, perhaps growing just the slightest bit less gentle in favor of a firmer one bending to passion's whim. Theo craved her, craved more. Everything in him cried out to be loved, wanting nothing more to feel the warmth of someone that cared about him again. Someone to be the light in the dark pit he was in. Even suffering as he did, his soul was so eager to reach out again and make these attachments, wanting to be worth something to someone while making them blissfully happy. Theo wanted nothing more, but no. No.

Theo swallowed hard as he pulled away, finding doing so more difficult than he could have ever anticipated. Oh yes, this certainly complicated things. He saw that look. His probably mirrored hers exactly; a split second of longing before it was overtaken by what felt like every drop of his blood rushing to his face. Even his ears were red. Even though the people were clapping and the officiant was urging them to make their escape down the aisle so the guests could be dismissed to the reception, Theo hesitated, simply gazing at her. Her blushing face was so cute. Oh, that flutter in his chest...not again. Hope blossomed, but so did fear.

He hated himself. Especially for how much he wanted to wrap her up in his arms and kiss her. How could he doom such a precious soul as this? He should have never dragged her out of the cafe that morning. Oh, what had he done?

Masking the turmoil eating him alive with a goofy smile, he turned his face from her toward the double doors she'd entered through a short time earlier. With a trembling palm touch to the small of her back, he urged her to move with him. "Time for that cake you promised me," he chuckled, the sound a bit airy from residual breathlessness. Once outside the chapel, the sleek suited man in the glasses reappeared and motioned them toward the next step in the demonstration; the cake. God, if he ever needed some cake more than this moment, he couldn't think of it. He needed to put all this heavy stuff aside and just enjoy this moment with Aspen...and not kiss her.

As they came to a stop in front of the magnificent multilevel cake of fluffy white frosting, they were instructed to wait until the guests were seated at their tables before commencing the ritual of trying to feed each other cake. Hoping to diffuse this new tension between them and provide a distraction while they waited, the treasure hunter tried to drum up some small talk. "I guess this makes me Mr. Azarov for the day?" Theo asked jokingly, reaching up to loosen his tie just the slightest bit.

Theo snickered to himself, though as close as they were standing to each other, the girl across from him could no-doubt hear it. He wasn't offended that she didn't know his last name. It wasn't a real last name anyway. He'd picked for himself as a child since he couldn't remember or perhaps had never known his real one. Besides, if anything, he was endlessly amused with this long, continuous break in Aspen's usual stoicness. This was a pretty bizarre situation, so he didn't blame her. He wasn't sure if his face had ever stopped blushing, either. The dizziness had at least lessened for now.

It did seem the stress was getting to her now, though. She descended upon the cake like a woman possessed, grabbing up the cutter and sinking it into the fluffy sponge. Theo blinked, hands coming up in a nervous motion as if he was going to stop her, but didn't have the nerve to actually grab her. He turned and looked, seeing that there were still a few guests sauntering to their seats. The suited man from before bulged his eyes behind his spectacles, meeting eyes with the treasure hunter and shaking his head. It was too early. He had to do something or else they'd definitely throw the demonstration off script a little.

"Wait, Aspen, it's not time yet--" he turned back to look at her just in time to get a fork full of cake to the cheek. Ever quick on his toes when it came to getting sweets into his mouth, he jerked his head quickly so that at least some of it made it into his mouth, though most of the frosting was smeared into a trail from cheek to lips. Well, this was just how it was going to have to be. The rest of the guests rushed to find their places so they wouldn't miss anything, and those already seated started chuckling at the cuteness. Not wanting Aspen to be even more embarrassed, Theo grinned and scooped some cake off the plate she held with his fingers, raising it quickly to try and shove it into her mouth as well. Perhaps the silliness would give her some comfort. At the very least, she'd have some yummy cake as long as she opened up. Laughter bubbled up from his belly and out his amused face, enjoying the moment even if it was a little off tempo.

The shuffling of chairs indicated people had stood to start taking pictures, which drew Theo's attention. He honestly thought was strange. This was a fake wedding. The audience wasn't here for Theo, Aspen, and their fake day of marital bliss. He couldn't understand friends and family wanting to document the real special day or even the professional wanting pictures as examples for their marketing, but these attendees were just here for the fun of it or in the interest of buying the package for their own wedding. Flashes kept going off, making his face even redder and bringing out a strange shyness in the man. He tried not to look at them, since the last time he attempted to get pictures taken of himself for Sorcerer's Magazine, a horrible faux-pas had taken place. He'd yet to completely live it down.

Theo had to cover his mouth with his hand as Aspen took the cake from his hand. God, she was so red. And that 'eep!'? He never imagined someone like Aspen could make that sound. The only thing he could do to not make this worse was to muffle any of his giggles down so she wouldn't hear them while her back was turned. It wasn't fair that she was being this cute. He wanted to take her face in his hands and just...smush it. He needed this, which felt wrong since she was so obviously distressed, and since he knew this was complicating things between them. The giggles and the ridiculousness of it all were refreshing, though. If only a little bit, he felt the morning's darkness subsiding into something more like cautious contentment. Animated Aspen was a sight to behold and a treasure all of its own. Though he suspected it would disappear once she recovered her emotional footing, he almost wished it would appear more often. The small hints of it he'd picked up over their festivals together paled in comparison to seeing such a gorgeous girl in a lovely dress freak out like this over a fake wedding.

When she whirled on him once more, he jerked his hand away from his mouth so she wouldn't know he'd been stifling his giggles and he tried to seem as nonchalant as possible. Which was basically impossible for someone like Theo, but it was what it was. She accused him of a hefty crime, to which he gasped and shook his head. "Ah! No, I could never try to suffocate my wife!" he pleaded, taking the jab in the side with a dramatic "oof" as if she'd actually hurt him. "Please! Mercy! It was the cake's fault!" he continued playfully, though soon he dissolved into chuckles despite himself.

Aspen inquired about her new title, to which he exhaled some air from his nostrils as he quieted himself back down so he could answer. "That makes you Mrs. Silversong," he said, considering only for a brief moment that he'd nearly given that name to someone else. That ring sat lonely and cold, layered with dust and cobwebs somewhere in his room. No! No time for that. Today was for fun and cake and potentially bad decisions! He had to do something to try and help Aspen calm down, if she was ever going to enjoy this with him. Theo might be more than a bit dense, but he could still see anxiety wafting off of her like an S.O.S. "Would Mrs. Silversong like a hug?" the dark-haired man asked, voice sobering with genuine concern. Pale blue eyes searched her face as his arms opened in an inviting way. "It might not be as soft as my tracksuit, but the fabric of this tux seems very huggable. I would hug me if I could just to see if I'm right... though I guess if you think about it, the tux is already hugging me..." Theo rambled a little, wondering what Aspen would do.