Screw Romance, Let's Have Some Fun!

Hosrius Camnus "The Dark Angel"

Job Log #9747

Christmas had been odd but this whole… Valentine’s idea seemed straight up asinine.

Earthland didn’t have a monopoly on love nor the celebration of it. Of course, Hosrius had seen plenty of planets that had their own versions of events that were in honor of romantic connections made between certain people. There were even, much like this Valentine’s day thing, that were meant to invite others to join in and possible find a match for themselves. He understood the baseline they were aiming for and even, to a point, agreed with it. Hosrius was not a cold, calculated hunter that never thought of his life after the games had come to an end -- it was his entire drive. It was why he was on Earthland, searching for his target. One last job and then he would be done, out of the life and into a brand new one that he had no idea how to live. It was exciting, along with the prospect of possibly finding a lifelong mate to settle down with and grow a family with.

But for some reason, Earthland seemed far more interested in the marketing of love than the actual emotional connection of it. As the holiday got closer, the Jirian started seeing a lot of product placement for it. Sweet food, colorful plantlife, grotesquely inaccurate depictions of a heart -- they popped up everywhere and were all attached with their own price tag that seemed far greater than it deserved. Once the promised day arrived, he learned that there was apparently some kind of event going on in a place called ‘Rose Garden’ a festival of sorts that was eerily marketed in the same fashion as the Christmas one. He’d already decided to avoid such a place but then he’d received a communique from Grubar, who told him that there was a lead they could follow at the event.

So, reluctantly, Hosrius made his way to the carnival of a city. The Jirian had been in plenty of large-scale cities filled with color, lights and sounds but Rose Garden seemed to be entirely focused on tourism. Everything was an advertisement for something, begging doe-eyed walkers to purchase something and circulate the economy even more than should naturally be allowed. Of course, being the strange alien that he was, a lot of eyes trailed after him as he walked through the city, glancing around at different stands and events that had been set up. After about an hour of wandering, he began to get concerned, as he’d heard nothing from Grubar. He checked in with him, only to discover on the response that it had been a ruse to simply ‘screw with him’. The Jirian sighed, the echo of Scengar’s deep, amused laughter echoing in his head.

It was truly his fault for believing Grubar in the first place. A lead at a ridiculous event like this? It sounded even more impossible now that he said it outloud. Sighing, he had decided he was going to leave immediately before he paused, spotting an event for some kind of ‘laser tag’. Normally a sign’s words wouldn’t mean much to him but the depiction of a laser rifle of some sort and the poster of kids shooting at one another intrigued him. Well, that could be one way to blow off steam, right?

So he signed up, earning glances and stares from the other competitors and the event’s owners. They handed him an outrageously obvious vest with little blinking sensors riddled over it and a gun that was called a ‘lacrima gun’. Upon pulling the trigger towards the ground for some test fires, he was treated to the sight of heart-shaped laser blasts that could only truly harm his sense of fashion. It was also not quite accurate, the targeting array giving it a near eleven percent deviation from the sights. As the group was bum rushed into the waiting area, Hosrius reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a tiny tool set. He knew next to nothing about the lacrima itself but he shouldn’t have to make any adjustments there anyways. Swiftly unscrewing the paneling on the side, the Jirian focused on his calibrations rather than the stares focused on him that he could feel all around. He worked diligently and within a minute, he’d properly mounted the array.

As he attached the panel back on, he casually threw a glance around him, idly disinterested in the wide eyed stares of the others. But one particular person caught his gaze; a young woman with long, luxurious blonde hair and eyes as vibrant as the mauve crystals of Rancer’s fourth moon. Rather than pretend she wasn’t staring at him, she doubled down, grinning wide and playfully miming shooting him with her gun. Clearly, rather than shy away from her curiosity, she was outright saying she was going to target him first. So a challenger then? Smirking, he casually raised his gun and aimed it at her but his finger slipped and he pulled the trigger, releasing a bolt of heart-shaped laser at her vest with perfect accuracy. It hit one of her sensors, alerting everyone that she’d been tagged with its loud vibrations.

“Uh sir? Please wait until we’re ready to go before you start,” one of the attendees said, annoyed that her pre-game speech had been interrupted. Hosrius hadn’t even realized she was talking.

“Oh, my apologies,” the Jirian said, lowering his gun instantly. Well that was a good start.

Hosrius Camnus "The Dark Angel"

Job Log #9747

Well, it seemed he had made a friend. Or at least a compatriot that he was certainly going to take down, given that she was on the opposing team. His accidental shot had triggered her vest and warranted a shaming from the coordinator but the woman was more than tickled with it, cackling in amusement even as her vest was reset for the inaccurate ‘death’ as it were. Most people probably would have been bothered, especially given that he was alien looking, but she rolled with it as easily as water ran off a rock. If anything, he had just sparked a bigger desire in here to take him down and pay him back. Well clearly that meant he had to be on his game, didn’t it? Now with a true goal in mind, he idly listened to the woman chatter away about the rules before they were ushered into the combat area. Once inside, they had a mere few precious seconds to prepare before the timer ran out and they were off to the races, in a manner of speaking.

For a battleground, it presented quite the unique setting. It was almost completely black, save for the glowing paint that had been put everywhere to truly bring color and illumination. There was some kind of lighting in the ceiling that activated the vibrant colors, creating a trippy effect. But overall, it was a sniper’s holiday if he could find the right angle and placement. Unlike others who ran off into the killbox with little to no regard, Hosrius snuck around the corners until he found the perfect angle to knock off shots without being seen first. Of course, a sniper’s nest only served for as long as one could stay unseen and in a game where deaths only forced you to go back to your base before starting again, the element of surprise didn’t last very long. He knocked off several competitors quick enough before she found him, the Jirian managing to take her down first and offering her a quick half-salute with his fingers.

After that, it became a game of finding the right spot before others could track him down. The blonde woman proved quite the challenge; while he managed to take her down several times, she was right there to meet him on each one, countering him and managing to knock off his lives. She was, honestly, the only competition he saw within the confines of the blacklit box, the others seemingly only there to tease and tantalize their dates. By the end of the match, there was one clear winner and Hosrius only checked the board to see where others stood against his score. Unfortunately he had no idea of the woman’s name but given that there was only one other outstanding ranking on the board, it was safe to say it was her.

He gave back the vest and gun as he departed from the arena. Upon exiting, he noticed the woman nearby, leaning casually on a fence and quite clearly waiting for someone. It didn’t take a whole lot of thought to guess that it was probably him she was standing there for. Being the honorable soldier that he was, he decided to go over and greet her and offer his congratulations on her prowess. She insisted that he was far less intimidating with the pink vest and the laser beams made of hearts. He chuckled. “I believe it was one of your human poets that said ‘the heart is the size of a fist because you were born to fight for what you love’. In that regard, one might argue that fighting with heart-inspired lasers should make one’s enemy more intimidating. The pink vest… well, pink was never really my color,” he admitted. She pushed herself up to stand in front of him fully and offered her hand; one that was mechanical and, after a brief glance, he could tell it made up almost the whole of her arm. Nonetheless, he accepted it and gave it the same firmness he would a real hand. “Hosrius Camnus. You were a fine competitor. Your teammates were fine prey,” he offered playfully, though his tone remained steady. She asked about him, wondering if he had some kind of secret power that gave him the ability to hide in a gunfight or if she truly wasn’t as skilled as he thought she was. “No, though I know plenty of species that can use camouflage and probably would have proven better than I. I work better at long range and I’m skilled enough at finding angles and placements that keep me out of the eye of my enemy. Though to be fair, you’re the only one that tagged me so feel free to bask in your skill -- it was impressive enough for second place.”

With the jest out of the way, he nodded towards the rest of Rose Garden. “So Saffron, I trust you came here to bask in the flowery, marketable glory of this… Valen-tin-es day as well?”

Hosrius Camnus "The Dark Angel"

Job Log #9747

Well, Saffron was clearly not a woman of poetry. From what Hosrius had read up on, most human females enjoyed the sound of poetry, as it was perceived as romantic. And truthfully, Hosrius was a bit of a romantic himself so he couldn’t deny that the flowery words of verbal scholars delighted him. Still, it seemed the woman wasn’t as intrigued with it as others would be and even admitted that she would prefer if they just ignored the fact that it came from humanity. Well he wasn’t about to shove drivel down her throat if she didn’t want it and simply let out a chuckle at her comment. She was equally as amused at his comment about the rest of her team, building upon it as she revealed that most of them were far more interested in the dark corners that offered exciting possibilities. Apparently it had grossed Saffron out so much that she had opted to find said couples during the game and knock one out just to separate them. “Well, I can’t say that I was specifically doing that but I imagine I might have pulled off that same trick as well.”

It seemed he had been the only one to tag her as well, which was hardly a surprise. She seemed to be as enthusiastic about the game as he was and far less interested in taking part in the romantic side of things. As he asked about the holiday, her face twisted in amusement as she teased him over what was apparently a mispronunciation. That wasn’t surprising either; considering how badly he had pronounced Christmas a few months ago, there was hardly any doubt that most of the names Earthland had would be foreign to his tongue. She admitted that she saw the holiday as ‘bogus’ and it made her sick but that was preferable over being bored, it seemed. She also admitted that she wasn’t from around the area, asking how familiar he was with the world before stating that she came from Bosco. She was curious enough about the event, wondering if it was as gross as her own nation’s way of celebrating, revealing that it was. Then she asked about him, wondering if he was here for some kind of observation over human’s native habits. Then she had a revelation and wondered aloud if she was going to wind up in a space zoo.

It was a generic way of correlation for her own world and his but one that he found amusing. “Oh, for sure. I have a full list of specimens I’m meant to retrieve and you are definitely at the top of the list. How do you feel about selling food? The space coliseum has some slave openings for food salespeople and I feel like you’d fit right in.” He gave her a wry smirk, playing up the joke further. “In truth, I was led to believe that a tip for my own quest could be found here by my… associate. But it seemed it was a ruse meant to screw with me, as he put it. I was preparing to leave when I spotted the laser tag advertisement and decided to partake, if only to work out some agitation. Though I must admit if this is what humans consider mating habits, I shudder at what comes after the honeymoon is over. I never knew that romance could be so… marketable.”

Hosrius Camnus "The Dark Angel"

Job Log #9747

Well she took his joke rather well, if a bit cheekily, as she informed him that she made a good knuckle sandwich. He understood enough to know that she meant she could punch pretty well. He chuckled. “Maybe you should be in the coliseum then. Plenty of gladiators looking to win their freedom and glory,” he said, rolling with the joke further before opting to explain himself. Most mercenaries would opt to leave their reasons for visiting a secret, not wanting their prey to make some kind of hasty escape. For Hosrius, it was quite the opposite. He already had his ship monitoring for any kind of vessel taking off and unfortunately for his target, he knew exactly the make and model of the ship he’d escaped with. If it even turned on slightly, the Jirian would know exactly where it was and his own ship would alert him to it. So there was actually a benefit to being a bit more open with his intent -- it could result in his prey making a fatal mistake.

Saffron explained that marketing and the circulation of money was huge on Earthland, as everyone was looking to make more jewel. She explained that another holiday, called Saint Patrick’s Day, was completely around the idea of selling alcohol in copious amounts. “Well I can’t say that I’ve ever partaken in alcohol from Earthland and frankly, on a few times on other planets as well. But I can see the appeal in having an entire holiday around it,” he said with a chuckle. Saffron went onto explain that Valentine’s Day or perhaps all holidays, really weren’t that terrible, considering it gave people the opportunity to spend time with loved ones and friends. Valentine’s Day just happened to throw the romantic celebration into the stratosphere. It gave couples a chance to enjoy one another and it gave the young woman the chance to make fun of them, so it worked out for both of them.

After her explanation, she decided to see if he really was interested in leaving so soon. She offered him an opportunity to walk around with her and see what else was on the docket for the festival. “Well normally I would probably turn down the opportunity. But considering… I think I will join you. If anything, it will provide a unique insight into how human couples spend time with one another further.” Soon enough they were on their way, walking through the lit up streets of Rose Garden, taking in the abundant of colors and vibrant displays that bordered on corny and ridiculous. Saffron did take time to suggest some things that would intrigue him, mostly on the side of food and sweet treats. She got a plate of chocolate covered strawberries and offered him some, the Jirian finding the fruit sweet and sultry.

They continued to walk around until they found another display. Apparently it required a couple to climb into a sweater together with one of them keeping their arms behind their backs and in front while the other was blindfolded and had their arms in the sleeves. They had to work together to apparently frost a cake of some sort. A lot of people were doing rather well and there were a few that were doing absolutely awful. But before he could continue on, Saffron decided they would be partaking in it. “Are you… sure? Our height difference is… okay.” Before he could give a proper excuse not to partake, she was already wrapping her arm around his and pulling him over. She greeted the attendant and asked if there was a sweater large enough to accommodate him and herself, as well as something to stand on for her. She called him her boyfriend , the Jirian raising a single brow in amusement, more so when the guy expressed his surprise that they were together.

Of course Saffron was quick to shoot down his concerns, accusing him of being discriminatory. He quickly stopped any complaints and ran away to find a sweater. Once he had, Hosrius was promptly put in the sweater and blindfolded as Saffron got on the chair and wiggled herself between him and the piece of clothing. She poked out and declared themselves ready. “Well this will certainly be… interesting.”

Working together, they managed to frost the cake… though it was not a masterpiece worthy of glory. It looked good enough to eat but even Hosrius wouldn’t put it on display in hopes of attracting customers. As he pried the blindfold off and looked down at the cake, he chuckled. “Well uh, darling...” he said, cleverly playing along with the boyfriend/girlfriend ruse. “At least we’d enjoy eating it but I doubt anyone else would be too impressed.”

Hosrius Camnus "The Dark Angel"

Job Log #9747

Hosrius had never done anything with a cake before, not even really eat one. He’d certainly seen his fair share of intergalactic baker’s goods and had only recently come to see some of the ones on Earthland. But as far as he could remember, he’d never tasted one. Still, doing activities blindfolded was something he had accomplished many a time before so he figured using frosting for a cake couldn’t be that hard, right? Well, apparently not so. She gave instructions well enough but there was a wide gap between fixing one’s rifle without the aid of eyesight and trying to form a letter of an alphabet he’d only recently learned or draw something he’d only discovered in recent weeks. Overall, he managed as best he could and when he pried the blindfold off, the cake didn’t look half bad -- though it didn’t look half good either. Saffron clearly was looking for something more akin to a wreck so she wasn’t fully satisfied but enough so that she still got a good laugh out of it.

It seemed the prize for taking part in the activity was to take the cake home, so apparently he may get the opportunity yet to taste the cake. With box in hand, the two of them continued to wander through the town, talking to one another and overall learning more about one another than anything around them. There were a few interesting activities here and there but Hosrius was frankly more comfortable and fine just chatting. It was also highly amusing to see how excited and ramped up couples got over the prospect of taking part in such overly romantic gestures of their love.

Eventually they made their way to a spot to rest, as they had been walking for some time. Saffron hopped up on a fence that was explicitly marked with a demand for no one to touch it. The Jirian glanced at the sign and then mentally shrugged, finding no reason to delegate the rules of a planet he didn’t herald from. Instead, as she sipped from her water bottle, he opened the box with the cake and reached in to grab a plastic fork that had been provided for them. He pierced the frosty, moist creation and pried out a healthy bite affixed with cake and frosting alike. He brought it up to his snout and sniffed it and then, after a moment, he took in the bite. It was ridiculously sweet, the frosting creamy but also kind of hard as well. Clearly the tubes had been sitting out for some time and had begun to tighten up from the air. Overall, Hosrius really wasn’t a fan and he put the fork back in the box and closed it.

Saffron spoke up then, asking about Grubar. She wanted to know if he was an alien too but more importantly if he planned on getting revenge for his little trick. Hosrius shrugged. “Grubar is an alien, yes -- a Scengar to be exact. He is basically a seven foot and a half-tall… reptile? I believe that’s the word humans would use to describe him. Though I would highly suggest not saying such to his face,” Hosrius explained. “As for getting even with him, I can’t say I ever have before. Usually I let my work speak for me -- he has a tendency to try and lead me astray on trails so he can beat me to our targets. He has yet to best me,” Hosrius admitted humbly, his perfect hunting streak well known through the galaxy but not one that he generally boasted about. “Then there are times he simply does it for his own amusement; I imagine this instance is one such case. Better than last time; he told me he found a big clue on the whereabouts of one of our last targets. It was on the lava planet of Vagragar, on a mining platform that was dilapidated and started to collapse when I got there.He got a good chuckle out of that.”

Hosrius Camnus "The Dark Angel"

Job Log #9747

Frankly, explaining the ridiculous schemes that Grubar had pulled on Hosrius out loud did actually make him see how silly it was that he kept committing to checking them out. And it was clear that Saffron felt the same way, as she immediately questioned his insistence on following through. It amused her, probably about as much as it amused Grubar, but she believed that after a while, it really became more of his ineptitude in catching on than in the Scengar’s ability to trick him. “The problem is the minute you start believing his word is inaccurate is when it proves the most true. Believe me, he has contacted me with some truly outrageous claims on trails, hints and leads that I wanted to scoff at and brush aside. But then they turned out to be true so at this point, it works better for me to go and check it out. If it’s a prank to lead me onto a collapsing platform on a lava planet, then it’s a prank. If it’s a lead that involves a kidnapped planet and a runway model who was half alien, half spaceship, then it’s a lead. It just goes to show you that the universe is not as simple or one dimensional as some people hoped it would be.”

She really couldn’t believe that he’d never taken the time to get back at Grubar and the Jirian shrugged once more. “Like I said, it’s easier to get the job done and collect the payment. That’s my own way of getting back at him -- I get paid, he doesn’t.” It wasn’t quite the simple, of course and losing out to Grubar meant a debt that would cause Hosrius to continue working longer than he intended. But there was no need to get into that here. After a moment of consideration, Saffron asked him how the Scengar felt about kids in a general sense. “I can’t say I’ve seen him interact with kids outside of telling them to shove off on certain ports. I guess that means he’s not a fan -- I know he has no desire to have children at any point. Why?” It was a strange leading question and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that its intent was to add substance to some kind of plan.

He was right; Saffron began to explain, coming up with a scheme right there in front of him. She insisted that he send a distress call and say that he needed help and that he had managed to find a clue on their target but the lead was escaping and he needed help to trap them. It would send Grubar into action, mostly out of concern of not losing a lead on the target. Saffron would play the role of the mysterious lead and would lead him on a wild goose chase. As she finished the explanation, Hosrius’ brows were raised in surprise. “That’s… diabolical,” he admitted softly, a bit of shock in his tone. But it was quickly overtaken with amusement and, frankly, excitement. “I’m in.”

It was an easy enough communique to sell, the bounty hunter following Saffron’s details to the tee. He gave a vague-ish description, enough for Grubar to understand that should he see a blonde woman on a motorcycle, he should shadow them. He didn’t receive a reply back but his ship than alerted him to a piece of space-originated technology had taken to the sky and was hastily making its way towards Rose Garden. Amused as he watched the red, blinking ping close in on the metropolis tourist attraction, Hosrius smirked and flicked off his screen and started to make his way to the meet up point.

Saffron would only be driving for a short time before she would hear the indistinguishable sound of jets overhead. A quick glance and she would see the seven and a half foot Scengar soaring over, mounted on what looked similar to a motorcycle but was much larger and had far more engines. He circled it around in the sky and brought it down to match her speed as he flew just off to the side of her. The alien pulled out his shotgun from his weapon pouch and cocked it loaded with a roll, holding it at his side. “Evenin’ there, pretty humie,” his deep voice rumbled out. “I’m gonna need you to stop that there vehicle of yours. Friend a’ mine is looking to talk to ya and I was hoping you’d do me the favor and talk to me instead.”

Hosrius Camnus "The Dark Angel"

Job Log #9747

While Hosrius may have had a bit more tact in interrogating a potential lead, Grubar usually liked his immense size and his weapons do the talking for him. And as his jetcycle floated down so he could get a better look at the woman in question. She was pretty, for a squishy pink human and clearly had an attitude about her. Her aviators disguised her eyes but he could imagine she was quite shocked at seeing an alien of his stature and shape, let alone one that had armed a shotgun with one hand. She tilted her glasses down so he could see the amethysts beneath but there was no concern, no fear. If anything, she looked almost... unamused. She remarked about a lizard riding a motorcycle and talk and the Scengar growled, low enough that the roar of their machines drowned it out. Leave it to humans to be absolutely racist as much as possible. But she was amenable to his demand, most likely because he was armed. He smirked and chuckled as she started to pull up her glasses but his amusement came to a stop at the sudden wink.

Then in an instant, she leaned and slammed her hand into the ground, bringing herself to an abrupt and impossible stop. “E chu ta!” he cursed furiously in Scengan, twisting in his seat to watch as the woman somehow managed to pivot the entire bike and take off in the direction she had come. Wrenching on the drive shaft, the alien was forced to take a long, wide turn up into the air, losing precious time in catching up to her. As he came back around, he slammed on the thrusters and the engines on the rear of the jetcycle roared loudly, releasing a furious blowout of fire and smoke.

“Damn human making this harder than it needs to be,” he grumbled as he set his sights on her. The shotgun remained in his hand as he continued the chase, the Scengar doing everything he could to catch up. He’d missed his chance to bring her to an abrupt stop before but he wasn’t going to miss that opportunity again. If he got close enough, he was going to blow that rear tire of her’s out and send her off her bike. She’d survive… probably. Enough to get some answers out of her at least.

Hosrius Camnus "The Dark Angel"

Job Log #9747

Ah, he didn’t really want to shoot the girl but boy was she making it tough. First that quick turn she pulled would have torn any other vehicle in half but somehow, she was able to put her fist into the ground and pull it off. He could only wonder if that was part of the so-called ‘magic’ that the humans apparently had possession of. He would be impressed if she wasn’t so important. But considering he needed to get information out of her, trying to escape him was just more of a pain. Maybe he’d hit her in the head with the butt of his shotgun -- that’d learn her real good.

She continued to be a nuisance, even after he’d finally managed to catch up to her. Just when his speed was starting to overtake her, she would jerk down a new path, making a sharp turn that only someone one a smaller, more agile vehicle could do. The first couple of times, he cursed in Scengan as she managed to put some distance between them, the alien bounty hunter having to jerk his jetcycle into the air and catch up after turning. By the third or so time, he expected it to come, keeping his distance enough that he could continue following her or, at least, track her better.

She’d managed to pull down an alleyway and force him into the air, his bigger vehicle incapable of squeezing in the tight space. He loomed over the buildings as he followed her path, surging down into the construction area and turning about, having finally gotten a decent lead to cut her off. He leveled his shotgun in the direction he had been expecting her bike to come bursting out of, ready to frag the machine and send her embarrassingly into the ground. Yet nothing came and as he cocked his head slightly, he realized he couldn’t hear her motor anymore. She’d ditched the bike then to get on foot -- smart girl. “You sure you wanna make this a game of cat and mouse? We Scengar are predators and I ain’t above eatin’ one of your legs to slow ya down,” Grubar called out, his eyes needling every nook and cranny he could see for a sign of her.

Of course he wasn’t going to eat her leg. Humans probably tasted gross. Still, the intimidation was all that mattered. “Come out, come out, wherever yer hidin’,” he taunted her, raising his shotgun into the air. And then he pulled the trigger, releasing a blast of energy flechettes harmlessly into the air, fizzling out in the open air.

Hosrius Camnus "The Dark Angel"

Job Log #9747

Grubar had to give the girl credit; she was mouthy in a way that he could respect. If their positions were swapped, he would have been doing the same thing she was. Just because she was outmatched and outgunned didn’t mean she had to go down like a punk. The Scengar chuckled as his eyes continued to scan around. “It’s all about the seasoning, girl. Just gotta get the right spices,” he doubled down on his farcical line of thought in terms of eating her. She had wisely chosen a position in the construction yard that allowed her voice to reverberate, hiding her position well enough. He could just start blasting in hopes of scaring her out but that could draw lawmen and witnesses and he didn’t have time to deal with that. He was on a time crunch, counting that Hosrius hadn’t already figured something was afoot and doubled back to search.

Of course, he could smoke her out. He did have a few canisters of Carnellian gas he could toss into the yard. Poor girl would lose feeling in her limbs for a few hours and it would take him some time to find her but then she wouldn’t be able to run at all. He was already thinking about reaching back into his pack and grabbing one of the canisters when suddenly something descended upon him. He barely made out the indistinguishable sound of an object falling and whirled around to see a shadow against the waning sun. His shotgun turned but found something against its barrel, preventing it from aiming directly. His finger twitched towards the trigger but halted. One shot, even accidentally, would have torn through her like paper and the last thing he needed was a body he couldn’t explain.

In the end, his reluctance to actually harm her caused her to get a better hold of the weapon and rip it from his hand. “Blasted human!” he cursed as he spun and tried to grab at her, hoping a wild snatch could earn him a grip on her leg. But his fingers found no purchase as she fell to the ground, rolled to her feet and took off, racing away from him once more. Growling, Grubar wrenched his bike upwards and launched himself into the sky, the machine roaring as it pulled out of the construction yard. Up into the sky he went until he spotted her between buildings, racing into another structure. Flicking a switch on his bike, Grubar leapt off of the vehicle and down to the ground.

He slammed into the cement hard enough to dent it, bending it inwards and leaving a sizable crater. Growling, he got to his feet and took off after her, running at full speed. She disappeared through some doors and he carried right after her, blasting through the doors and into… well, it seemed like some kind of kitchen. Grubar actually slowed his pace as he looked around, the sweet smells of the room hitting his nostrils. Also the panicked cries and gasps from the people in the kitchen. Without wasting more time thinking about it, he continued on, managing to break through another set of doors…

Only to hear the blonde woman call him something. “Gojeera” or something along those lines. Whatever the case, he slid to a stop as a wave of human children raced towards him, screaming excitedly, waving their hands, calling him by the name that he’d been tagged with. His eyes raced over the bubbling little twits before he raised them up and saw the woman… right beside Hosrius. It only took him a moment after looking at the proud grins on their faces that he had been duped and swindled. He growled once more, his face settling into a defeated scowl as the children bounced around him, tugging at his arms and wrapping themselves around his feet.

“Well I think he looks rather pleased,” Hosrius said to Saffron, watching his old ally regret ever looking at the blonde woman. “I trust he wasn’t too bad?”

Hosrius Camnus "The Dark Angel"

Job Log #9747

Oh Grubar was in absolute hell. He despised kids on his better days but after he’d been run around like a plaything by some human girl, the last thing he wanted to do was pretend to play nice around a bunch of brats. And yet he knew better - with Hosrius there, there was no chance he could just rampage through the play area and scare everyone away. The Jirian had a code of honor that would cause him to jump in and stop the Scengar from causing too much damage. Besides, he couldn’t deny that he deserved it. Even as he looked over and saw Hosrius, he knew he’d been had for the first time in their relationship. So he swallowed the loss, giving a shake of his head and simply stood in place as the kids practically climbed over him like a jungle gym.

Saffron explained that she hadn’t had too much trouble with Grubar, though she had been a bit surprised when he’d taken the shotgun out. That forced her to rethink her plan. The Jirian nodded softly. “Grubar is all about intimidation. He figures that an armed giant alien is far more scary than just a giant alien. I knew he wouldn’t shoot you though; while I won’t claim that he cares about other people’s lives, he hates dealing with the fallout of innocent people killed. Lots of explaining usually and sometimes even warrants. Hard to hunt down a target when the entirety of a plan is looking to hang you for invasion and murder,” Hosrius explained as he glanced at the shotgun covered in the cloth. “Disarming him though… now that’s impressive. Have you ever put some thought into becoming an intergalactic bounty hunter? You’ve got some skills to back up the guts.”

Saffron called out for a waitress to get them something called a ‘pizza’ and specifically two that were covered in meat. Well he could hardly turn down the opportunity for some new Earthland cuisine. He suggested water for the drink of choice, as no doubt Grubar would want something heavier but he doubted they served liquor at a child’s establishment. Though there were a fair number of adults that looked worn and beat down. Finally the kids lost their patience and attention for the Scengar, running off into a pit filled with plastic balls that Hosrius highly doubted was sanitary. Grubar stomped over to the table, glancing between the two of them, even as the blonde woman introduced herself and put the peace offering out of the soon-to-arrive pizza.

The larger alien’s eyes scanned over the smaller woman before he snorted. “It better be overloaded with meat, blondie. After the work you just put me through, I could eat the entire kitchen.” Grubar sat himself down as he took the shotgun that was slid to him, leaving it covered so as not to attract any unwanted attention. Saffron was quick to throw Hosrius under the table, suggesting that it was the Jirian that had suggested the idea of calling him lizard. He snorted again. “Doubtful. You see that nasty burn on the side of his face? That’s his punishment for calling me ‘lizard’ once. And that was me holdin’ back too. But because I’m not lookin’ to cause a scene, I’m going to let it slide just this once.”

Of course, both of them knew that Hosrius’ scar was not from Grubar nor related to anything involving the Scengar. But frankly, the Jirian felt he’d earned himself a moment of looking scarier, considering. “That big jetbike of yours doesn’t mean much against the sleeker, faster vehicles they have on this planet.”

“Bah! She’s just lucky I wanted her alive. Else I would have just shot the damn thing out from under her and called it a day,” the Scengar waved the insinuation off. “Since when did you get in the practical joke business, Hos? You’re all business almost all the time and yet here you are, taking part in a prank. I ain’t rubbin’ off on ya, am I?”

“Doubtful,” Hosrius parroted Grubar’s own words back at him. “But perhaps I was made aware of how entertaining it could be to get back at you for some of your more… dangerous antics.”

“Always about the lava platform. It was a joke -- I said I had a ‘hot’ lead. Even a holy man would find that funny.” Grubar even chuckled again, as he remembered it fondly. “So anyway, blondie, the hell is a pizza? This isn’t another level of prank is it? It’s not piss and meat? Though I can say I’ve had worse.”

Hosrius shook his head but decided not to join in the query. After all, he doubted that Saffron would have spoiled it anyways. She was the kind of woman that liked to surprise people, considering the antics they had gone through that night. When the pizza finally came, both the Jirian and the Scengar inspected the slice of melted food on their plates before they finally decided to take part. Much to his surprise, Hosrius found yet another food that he wasn’t particularly a fan of. It wasn’t bad by any stretch of the word but it was, once again, too sweet. He ate just enough to be considerate for the free food but not much more than that.

Grubar, on the other hand, seemed to love it. His eyes lit up with such excitement as the cheese, meats and bread melted in his mouth. Any anger he’d still been brewing beneath the surface faded away as he chowed down on his first couple of slices and went to get more. Hosrius had to remind him that he hadn’t bought the food and should leave some for Saffron. The Scengar replied that it had been her that had wore him out in the first place and made him as hungry as he was.

There didn’t seem to be winning with him. But at least it was humorous to watch.