So Much for Taking It Slow [V-day Mini Event]

This backfired so hard in his face.

Ike stood before a large mirror, adjusting the bowtie of his tuxedo. Yes, he knew this was temporary, but did they really have to do the whole ceremony? It seemed fishy, like the lady in charge of this was just wedding crazed or living through them vicariously or something. First the fake date for crappy actors, and now a fake wedding. Wasn't this all a little too fake fast?

At least the tux fit him. He looked rather nice if he said so himself. It was befuddling that a chocolate shop owned so many specific mens' sizes in suits and presumably women's wedding dresses, but maybe it doubled as a chapel? Or perhaps the magic contract signed for married couples had some sort of committee that provided all this hullaballoo...while it was just super bizarre, Ike had to admit it was a little excited to use one of Ikumi's spells. Being her mentor, maybe it would give him some insight into better ways to train her. With her falling asleep so much at inconvenient times, just traveling with her had been a challenge...how did he get himself into these messes? he wasn't a teacher! And he probably wasn't husband material either!

Oh lord, there went his heart. Thinking about all this had it beating rather fast, making him light headed. It did this sometimes, and like Iku's narcolepsy, it was always at the worst times. Calm down. This wasn't a real wedding. After today and upon completing the chocolate delivery, their contract would disappear and things would go back to normal. But...what was normal for them? He swallowed hard, feeling the darkness poking at his brain from either lack of or too much oxygen. IN true anxious fashion, this was also the time his brain chose to remind him of just how large his mentee's boobs were, and that they'd probably be expected to hug or even kiss....oh god...they might touch him! His face flushed, and now he was left sitting in a chair with his head between his legs. Don't pass out, don't pass out.

Emerging on weak legs, he shambled to the alter, spotty vision and general lightheadedness making it look like he was drunk or something. Be cool. This was nothing to get upset over. It was a weird mission for experience for his mentee. Just another mission. Sugar Tits wasn't even his type! Haha! Red eyes darted around, eventually landing on the fake minister who seemed concerned for his well being, and probably rightfully so. His skin held barely more color than the pages of the book he held. "I'm fine," his voice quivered, weakly waving off the old man's stare. Could this just be over already? Before he went into cardiac arrest? Please?

Oh, the music was starting. The doors were opening! Ok, he was gonna die.


[479/1000]

What the hell had she gotten herself into? Sure, it was a fake wedding, but it was still embarrassing! Why did they even have to get married to deliver some stupid chocolates anyways?! Couldn't they have developed this new magic in another way? Like why couldn't they just form a friendship pact or something? Why did it have to be so extreme? Sighing deeply, the white haired maiden tugged at the top of her bodice, making sure that it fit snugly over her breasts. For some reason she always found it difficult to find things that fit in that area. Staring at herself in the mirror, her face began to turn a light shade of red. She never really imagined herself in a wedding dress before. Most little girls fantasized about what their weddings would be like, but Ikumi couldn't remember... Had she done that? Had she had those childish dreams?

"Miss Ikumi! It's time to go! Everyone is waiting!"

One of the "bridesmaids" burst through the door of the dressing room, addressing Ikumi with a booming voice. This woman was just a bit over the top, in Ikumi's opinion. A little too loud for her liking. "A-Alright! I'll head out in just a minute!" The young mage responded, nodding in the woman's direction. "Okay! Don't take too long, now!" And with that, she was off, jarring the door closed behind her. Letting out one more nervous sigh, Ikumi adjusted her veil, making sure that she looked decent. But why did she even care?! It wasn't like she was actually getting married or anything! This was just a job that she was doing with her mentor! Nothing more, nothing less! There was nothing to be nervous about! "O-O-Okay! Let's do this!" Pumping herself up, she exited the dressing room, heading down the hallway and towards the makeshift "chapel."

As the music began, and the doors opened, Ikumi walked gracefully down the isle, looking anywhere and everywhere other than at the man who stood at the other end. You know, in actual weddings, this was supposed to be a special moment, but in this case, it was incredibly awkward. For the young woman and probably everyone who was watching as well. As she reached the middle of the isle, she let out a small yawn. Wow... This music was really soothing... So pretty... Stopping in her tracks, the derpy young woman looked to her left, noticing a comfortable looking seat. "Mmm... I think I'm just going to... Take a quick little nap... We can finish this up after, right?" She mumbled, moving slowly towards the chair and taking a seat. Almost as soon as her butt made contact with it, she was out cold, small snores escaping her lips. Now this, was an awkward sight for everyone, that was for sure. It wasn't often a woman fell asleep in the middle of her wedding ceremony, after all. And, well, Ikumi was probably the only person who could fall sleep in a wedding dress.

[526/1,000]

As pissed as Ike suddenly was, it was actually a blessing that she did the one thing he could count on her doing. Ikumi had been gliding down the isle as a big boobed vision of bridal bliss. His fake groomsman had been holding him up, since his heart was smacking the inside of his ribcage so hard he was fairly certain he would be making his way to the light any moment now. The man holding him was possibly drunk, since he was giggling and muttering something about a fainting goat. Where'd they get this guy? Off the street? Was a hobo his groomsman? That seemed legit.

However, before he could process the terror that threatened to burst through her bodice fully enough to embrace the darkness, his derpy mentee yawned. Oh no. NO no no NOOOO! Not here! They had a job! Yes, he knew full well his passing out was just as bad, but now was not the time to blame himself! This was her fault! Look at her, laying down on the job. Sitting there right in the isle in the middle of his dumb ceremony to go to sleep. That was the only thing he could count on her for. The mentor in him rose up, flushing him with a different adrenaline that brought his soul back into his body. "HEY!" he called, leaning off the tuxedoed hobo and stalking down the aisle with a newfound vigor. He had to go get his bride. "Wake up! Ikumi! Noooow!" he grouched, shaking her shoulder and ignoring any jiggling that happened as a consequence. "We have chocolate to deliver. How can I make a mage out of you?"

Inexplicably, after the words left his mouth, the music changed. A choir manifested from somewhere, robed in something like some ancient Midi war armor. "Be a mage!" they barked in unison, a harmony of many voices booming at the two of them. "You must be bewitched like a nubile lover!" continued the testosterone fueled warble, "With all the skill of a great wizard saint, with all the angst of a lowly Sinner,    you'll never experience the dark side of matrimony!!!!" bellowed the mysterious choir, jazzed that they finally got to have the moment they'd hidden in a side room waiting for for years. It had seemed ling a long shot, but never once did they give up! Well, except Clarence, but he was a putz. The rest of them! Never once had they given up! They persevered! It all culminated into this one moment, where they would burst out in random kung fu poses and sing their hearts out at a couple, a nice couple like this. Once the echo wore off and the silence blanketed everything, they finally lifted their stances and stood grinning at at least one blank face.

The blank face belonged to Ike, who had turned slightly from Iku. He still had his hand on her shoulder, but the shaking had stopped. Lips parted and hung like that, crimson eyes wide and staring blankly. "....What the f--" The choir burst into laughter, cutting him off. Never had he heard such a manly laugh. And though the entire situation was bizarre as heck, he couldn't help but feel emasculated somehow in their presence. What a strange day this was going to be.

[1035/1000]

Oh, there was definitely more than one blank face that this boisterous choir was greeted by. Though, the second face was more groggy and confused than anything else. She was just in the middle of a lovely nap! It was terribly rude of them to rouse her with such a loud, and slightly out of tune, song! Looking back at the mentor who was crouched beside her, she rubbed her eyes. "What time is it? Have I been asleep for long? Is the wedding over? Did I do it?" The never ending barrage of questions fell on deaf ears, it would seem, for she received no response. Looking back over towards the altar in which she had been walking towards just moments before, she deduced that she had fallen asleep before the wedding had even really started! Well that was pretty embarrassing wasn't it?! The man who was "marrying" them flashed looks of confusion from the choir to the disorganized couple, looking as if he had never seen anything like this in all of his days. Well, at least he would have a good story to tell his family!

Blushing a deep shade of pink, Ikumi scrambled to her feet, trying her best not to get too tangled within her dress and her veil. "I-I-I'm ready now! Music guy! You can continue!" Waving towards the feeble looking piano player, she pushed Ike towards the alter once more, trying her best to ignore everything that had just happen prior to this moment. As the music began playing again, Ikumi continued towards her future "husband," trying her best not to be lulled by the soothing music once again. It was pretty tough, though! That was for sure! How did all brides not fall asleep to this while walking down the isle!? She couldn't be the only one! Finally reaching her destination, she looked up bashfully at her mentor, not really knowing how to act in this situation. Why is it that she felt so nervous? It wasn't like this was real or anything. As soon as this mission was over, they would return to normal... But there was just something so... Well... Weirdly exciting about this... She couldn't put a finger on it though.

"Do you, Ikumi Ito, take Ike Fukunaga to be your husband? To unite in the covenant of marriage, and share with your whole self, to honor and keep him in sickness and in health for as long as this union binds you?"

The question was rather abrupt. Ikumi had expected something like this to happen, but when it actually did it was quite surprising. It was supposed to be a realistic ceremony, after all. Gulping nervously, magenta hues swiveled slowly towards her partner's rose colored ones. "I-I-I... Um.. I-I do!" She managed to stutter, her face igniting with a deep red shade.

"And do you, Ike Fukunaga, take Ikumi Ito-... Oh who am I kidding. Let's not draw this freak show out any longer. We all know that he's going to say yes, so just kiss the girl."

"W-W-W-W-Wait! What?! He's supposed to say I do too, y-you know! That's not how it's supposed to g-"

"Oh can it, sleepy. Just kiss the guy and get it over with, will ya?"

Now her face was really red! She probably looked like a tomato with legs at this point. Maybe the poor guy was right. They had dragged this on for longer than it needed to be. It wasn't even like it was a real wedding! Alright! Time to get it over with then! Gaining a sudden rush of courage, Ikumi lunged forward, placing her hands on either side of Ike's face, and bringing their faces together. Though their lips touched briefly, it was less of a kiss and more of a headbutt. "Th-There! You happy! I did it! Ike, let's get out of he-"

She had turned around to look at her mentor once more, but he wasn't there. Well, he wasn't standing that is. Sprawled out on the floor, it looked like he was taking a nap. No fair! When she had taken a nap he got all upset about it! Why was it that he could take one but she couldn't?! Well then, if he was going to sleep, then so was she! Laying down beside the man who had fainted like a little goat, she closed her eyes, falling asleep as quickly as always.

[1,310/1,000]

In intense frustration, the employees of the chocolate warehouse gathered the two up and shoved them into a cart with the chocolates. Wheeling them out the door, they gave the pair a nice newlywed send off by shoving them down a hill, where they picked up speed and careened through buildings like daredevils. However, with both being unconscious, it was only Ike's luck that kept them going and from crashing into literally everything.

Along the way, the whizzed past some kids intending to beg yet another delivery for candy. They were foiled, as the cart was going too fast and the two in charge of it weren't awake to even stop or shove them away. A thief jumped down to try and rob the fourteenth delivery of the day with his heart shaped scythe, but he was hit by the cart and dragged for several hundred feet before finally being run over and knocked out. Even a love hater lunged out once they slowed down, but that was the precise time Ike finally stirred from his kiss inducing fainting to see a heart shaped knife thunk into a box of chocolates beside his head. Still woozy, he flung a hand out to try and shoot jello, but somehow accessed his "wife's" magic instead and send an adorable little stuffed rabbit hopping into the man's face, where it then latched on and suffocated him until he passed out too.

"Iku...wake up..." he groaned, rolling out of the cart and looking around. They were in Rose Garden, and after taking a few steps forward while the girl still slept in the chocolates, he blinked at what seemed like a miracle. One moment they were getting married, which he didn't remember the end of, and the next they were standing right in front of the deliver destination! How lucky! With a light giggle, Ike pushed his silly mentee and the half smashed boxes of sweets inside to finish the mission.


[wc exceeded// enemies defeated // the end]