You Don't Need Treats • Private [Jiyu]

She could care less about the outburst she had during Astrid's joining when Kiru had verbally assaulted her friend. Eventually, her guild would have had to see she had much more of a temper than she let on, that was far from what bothered her. Mikka had realized shortly after the tension settled down that her childhood friend had goofed up again, the name that sounded so sweet from the other girl's mouth, was dangerous. No one in Black Rose, even Izayuki herself, knew where she came from, who she was, ever since day one she had given them a false name, manipulated them. Sure, she had never been malicious and did want to be around them, but that didn't change the fact that now there was a major hint as to the untruths she had told everyone. Of course, she couldn't even really call them lies or anything like that, because really what was left of Mikka anyways, she didn't want to think about any of that, so the best option was to avoid it entirely.

The scent of sweets alongside the unmistakable smell of Astrid filled her nose, causing it to flare every few moments in reaction. Mikka lay there on her tree branch post for a few minutes longer, considering the 'bait' she knew that it was likely her that her friend was here for. Luckily, the slayer had picked to set up the little 'picnic' nearly right beneath the tree she had been vegging in for the better part of the day. Sharp claws sunk into the wood of a tree gently, moving slowly as to not upset the sakura tree she descended, leaping down when she was only a few feet above the ground. In her current state she was capable of both biped and quadruped movement, so she chose the later for the moment. Walking forward she circled the edges of the blanket once, sadly getting a few paw prints on it, before she lay down in front of what she assumed was her plate with her long tail laid out behind her, wrapped partly around the tree behind them.

"Aren't these that same recipe? Its been forever, I stopped reading a long time ago, haven't cooked in forever either." Mikka flopped herself upward to sit on her rump, paw-like hands picking up the tart. It was nice to be able to just take something offered by someone again. The girl knew that Astrid would never try to give her something she would have a bad reaction to, they grew up together, the elf knew how violent and dangerous her reactions to a food she wasn't supposed to have could be. "It's nice to be able to ust eat. Yu'd be surprised about the number of places that lie about ingredients if it's 'only a small amount' according to them." laughing she took another small bite of the tart, tail wagging occasionally hitting lightly into the tree. "Oh yah! If no one gave yu the notice before strid, be careful ere, this place is actually dangerous if yu don't know what yu're doing or upset te trees." her own speech pattern slipped some, but it was clearly much better than what she had resorted to when being super hyper and excited over Astrid joining the guild.

Mikka had indeed always been the incredibly stubborn sort who turned her back and refused to give even an inch towards someone, would sooner run away or resort to violence before negotiation with most people, she had beyond proven that. Yet, all the years of running, each mistake that resulted regardless of if she did nothing, fleed or fought, she was just so tired of it. The Inugami was exhausted, she didn't have the same staying power she once had if she wasn't motivated by her own fear. Even if there had been a broken bone or two among them in youth due to Astrids strength? Mikka could never fear the other girl, so she just couldn't fight the lure of someone who knew what exactly made her more pliable. The only thing she really wanted these days? Was to know who she was again, to be able to look around and see something besides an escape path, or things she needed to escape from because she couldn't cope. For once, she wanted the life she had basically denied herself. Astrid being here gave her the slightest hope she could have it.

"Sorry I can't help with that." she sighed slightly, looking over at Astrid as she took another nibble. "I don't remember if my book had this one, and I certainly don't know where it is, I hid it somewhere." at a certain point? The few recipes in that small composite book she had taken with when she ran away, became a danger to her. Mikka found it hard to keep running when she looked at those words, all she wanted to do was run back to the old man's house and beg to be allowed to stay there forever with Astrid and Lucius. Knowing she had to keep running, she had gotten rid of the baggage, tried her best to do the impossible, forget them. "Though I would have thought with everything he had in that apartment when I started staying there that Lucius would have had a copy for sure, he didn't?" she would need to go back to the apartment soon to check on the assassin, but of course now that Astrid was around they could take turns, letting her run away from him again. Mikka didn't have the energy anymore.

The creatures? Mikka laughed softly, reminding herself to keep an eye on Astrid so she didn't become a victim of the effects this woods could have. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you. I should have been, I would have been if-" she had known the truth, hadn't jumped to such a conclusion, hadn't lied so many times no one could have sent her home even if they figured out she was a runaway. The canine herself flop against the elfs side, sighing slightly as she finished off the tart that had been on her plate. "I've been lots of different things" but she was better than she had been in a while, it only throbbed instead of felt like she was tearing herself apart now that the elf was around. "Strid, Kiru isn't your fault, she's been upset with the rest of the guild over something else for a while now, you were just an excuse to go off." glancing up at the tree branches above them, the Inugami reached out to touch one of the cream petals as it fell, considering she couldn't see pink. "You aren't dividing the guild, and you have nothing to prove. I know you, and what she thinks you did, it's not you, it couldn't have been you or someone controlled you, which also isn't your fault." she hadn't been there at the time, luckily, or she would have joined her friends attack. However this did leave Mikka with a major black hole in what she knew about. Little did either of them know when they woke up in the morning, this day was going to be a freaking roller coaster.

This was certainly more solemn than she would have liked their first time spending lots of time together, but it was mostly her fault for not being ready, never even thinking this would be possible. Looking next to her at Astrid, the canine saw every little moment they had shared in the past, realizing everything she had given up again. Sadly, she wouldn't need to ask the other girl for any copy of that new recipe book, every bit of work Dahlia had done when she first started coming around to teach her that she didn't have to be cautious of fire was wasted now. Alongside the wasted memories? Came wasted talent, she had always been excellent at forging things, her skill only growing as she aged until she could no longer touch a forge because she couldn't even look at fire. It was sad, she had enjoyed the days while they lasted, and sometimes felt like she was missing a piece of herself, her spark. "I'll taste test whenever you need~" she chuckled, acting like it wasn't ripping her apart to be able to offer so little to her friend.

A sincere laugh emitted as the elf ruffled her hair, rolling her eyes slightly with a willing smile. If anyone else treated her like a dog directly this way? She would have their head, but for Astrid it was alright, she knew her friend meant no malice.  "For someone who was actually around that would be some comfort, but I ran selfishly, without even thinking about what could happen to you and Lucius, I left and I stayed away for so long. Things could have been different if I stayed, I could have stayed. There were times I was absent where I could have been there." everything she ran for was some sort of misguided idea or lie anyways, heck she was even starting to doubt that man had actually killed her mother. Perhaps the rest of the village had been right, no one had been there and she just needed some way to blame something besides a freak accident for the upheaval of her life. A few tears slipped from her eyes as she scoffed at herself, the idea of all she had given up to those foolish notions heavy on her.

Blood on ones claws, that was actually something she really couldn't claim directly. Unless it was undead, a monster or such on jobs? She had never killed people before, for some reason she couldn't bring herself to, she would push them to the very edge but she never could cross the line even if she was enraged.  "I've always known that anger was there Astrid, maybe not the full potential of it ,but it's never bother me." especially now that she had Assertive inside of her, how could her friends boiling pit ever possibly bother her.  "Heck, I thought you would be enraged with me if I ever saw you again." considering how she had not even left a little note, let everyone assume what could or couldn't have happened to her. Mikka didn't even want to consider what idea's they had come up with after she vanished, or if anyone had actually looked for her, especially now that she knew she had been so wrong.  "But Astrid, that same anger that can lead to accidently hurting other's? Makes you fight all that harder to protect them." something she had not been capable of in a long time, most of her life since running away the girl had been obsessed with self preservation. There was a lot to regret.


"Everyone has the right to their own emotions, but they have no right to take them out on you in any way." and if she caught anyone trying no one would be able to hold her back next time, she needed to find way to get stronger again so she could finally do what she had failed to for so long. "You'll have the chance, trust me, there's more you can do with anger than you think, it's part of you but it's not just darkness, just don't be a fool like I was and use the emotion to abandon everyone you care about, live a life you regret and chase after someone that likely doesn't even exist." her frown was slight before she reached to ruffle the other girls hair with a chuckle, forcing herself to smile again. Normally she couldn't admit she screwed up out loud, nor was she great at making steps to comfort people anymore, but next to the elf it was different, she could remember some scrap of who she used to be.

The part about protection was not lost on her, worrying over who was after her friend why the wizard saint needed protection. Of course, this was Astrid at the end of the day, maybe she needed protection from herself.  "Even if something goes wrong, the guild doesn't abandon anyone, I know that very well." she didn't want to remember what she was 'talking' about and that was clear on her face, eyes closing.  "Some group kept me captive for what I think was a year or so, eventually one of my guild-mates found me and brought me back, I had been taken only a few days after I joined." why couldn't she remember who had brought her back to the silver moon? It was strange, but she had stopped questioning the black holes in her memory a long time ago, she was never going to figure it out. "So in the end, you'll end up safe." that she could say for certain, small smile sketching across her pale face. Remembering that time? Hurt.

Avoidance as a dear friend to the both of them. Facing an opponent that they could punch in the face? Was so easy, but their own feelings or misdeeds, those things were so terrifying. Mikka glanced to watch Astrid seem as if she was spacing out for the moment, before switching her gaze to something random ahead of the pair. The action she had taken, seemed so normal but it carried a significant purpose when paired with the deep breath out the canine took. When the other girl was talking, it was easy to ignore, but whenever the elf fell silent it was impossible to be avoided or mistaken in any sort of way. The scent of negativity consuming Astrid was tangible to the Inugami, her friend had little idea that she was now a creature who fed off such things. While her friend let herself fall into thought, she leaned in sniffing. Once she realized what she was doing? Mikka pulled back praying Astrid would not realize.

How could she have considered eating her friends negativity for even a second? She didn't even know if eating negativity directly could have any affects on the person she ate it from! Mikka was disgusted she could even consider putting Astrid in that sort of danger. Yet, there was so much of it there, she could almost taste it. "You'd be surprised what I can run from 'Strid." heck she had outrun fate without even realizing, entirely unaware that she was not an expectation to how Inugami were born. "Some things are easier to accept than others." she could accept forgiveness to some extent, but she still had other demons she had yet to deal with, ones that almost no one truly knew about anymore.

When Astrid opened her mouth again, the light haired girl asked about her crafting, something which had always been an easy conversation in the past. However, something was wrong this time, Mikka scooting a foot over on the blanket suddenly and turning her head away sharply. "I could try what do you need?" she would never turn down the other girl, but considering their history she was almost certain whatever Astrid wanted would involve forging unlike the minor technological stuff and such she had been dabbling in recently. "But I should warn you-" she cut off, voice failing entirely as she found there was no way to tell the other girl the truth with her voice, optics desperate as she turned her head down again.

As they sat there the body which Astrid was used to seeing since their reunion especially lately, faded away. The girl left sitting beside the elf? Could never even qualify as a shell of the girl that Astrid had grown up alongside. Mikka was extremely pale as if sunlight hadn't touched her in ears, numerous places like her wrists, ankles and around her neck discolored as if something had bound them for an obscene amount of time. Yet, the most jarring thing was the burn scars scattered from feet to face on her. "I still craft, but I can't get anywhere near a forge." it was all she could choke out, cursing once more how she had let that be taken away from her. Yet, what was she supposed to do when she'd been made to take that for so long. "I'm sorry, it's so unsightly but I couldn't explain, I'll shift back." with that comment she closed her eyes trying to refocus on any of her disguise forms still.