The Beginning of Something Good. (Private)

Weeks. How many it had been, the girl wasn't sure. She'd stopped counting when this fact sank in: she wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon, nor at all. No matter how much she hated this dank fortress and the person that had trapped her here, she knew that at some point she would have to get used to it and make the most of what she was given. Acclamating to such a cold place, filled with even colder people as far as she knew (and she didn't know much yet), was difficult, and painful even, for someone like her. Katherine thrived on warmth. Here, in her new 'home', there was none. Literally and figuratively. The air had a constant frost to it that, and it seemed this way, only she noticed. Her sensitivity to temperature was a nuisance, now more so than ever. Her lack of footwear made it much worse than it should have been. Every step toward her destination felt like being stabbed in the soles by a million microscopic needles at once. It was almost as if her limbs were falling asleep and there was no way she could wake them up unless she remained in the guild tavern, sitting mere inches from the fireplace to keep herself alive. Her normal routine she'd come to discover, the only breaks in it being when the boy needed her. And that wasn't often enough to keep her occupied or with her will to live intact. How she had managed to survive this long baffled her. He had forbidden her on her first day to take her own life, but even so, she'd had many opportunities to sneak past him and do it anyway. But she hadn't. And with not a single clue why, because with her strong desire she should have been able to. Perhaps it was the lingering hope that something would change, something to make her overdue existence more bearable. She had yet to find out. She'd waited this long, adding to that length one day at a time couldn't hurt worse than it already did, right?

Katherine hoped she'd found her way to the right place. Despite being within the walls of Basilisk Fang like a bird trapped in an icy cage for almost a month, she hadn't ventured very far and finding where she was called to go was always a task. One she contracted great anxiety from. It was a hateable thing, but she would do it anyway. Mostly out of fear for her life. She was suicidal, there wasn't any doubt about that, but with that meant she'd much rather have her life end at the bane of her own hands than someone else's. An odd concept she thought.

The door looked like every other one; old and beat, cracked wood panels and biting cold metal latches. She'd rather not touch it, but in this case she must. Apparently, and as she'd been told by one of Famine's many servants, there was a doctor now. This was strange to her, but some part of her felt grateful. Maybe this person could help her, as she hadn't been of much help to herself and Ahote had pretty much left her to her own devices. The brat... She was endlessly bitter toward him.

With a slight shake of her head to rid herself of her thoughts, she pulled the sleeve of her over-sized sweater over her hand and twisted the doorknob. She hoped the click of the latch coming undone was enough to warn them that she was present. She waited a second and then, holding her breath unconsciously, opened the door.

She was an object of observation; this much she could tell as soon as she stepped through the threshold. The doctor, a woman with dark hair and even darker eyes, greeted her. Saryn she called herself, an interesting name. Although, everything was interesting to Katherine, as ancient as she was. Saryn offered her hand and she took it cautiously, giving a weak squeeze rather than a proper shake before she pulled away and tucked her arms at her sides. She was fine with whatever this woman would put her through; she was sure it couldn't be worse than anything she'd already endured. As a child, she'd been terrifed of needles, if only because they were a lot more crude than they were today. But now, she couldn't seem to bring herself to care about the inevitable pinch she would feel. She'd certainly felt worse pains. She was told to sit, and so she sat. However awkwardly. No matter how hard she might try to hide how anxious she was in that moment, she couldn't stop herself from fidgeting with the loose strings of her borrowed clothes.

At the mention of her joining the guild, Katherine stiffened. She grit her teeth painfully, and gripped the fabric of her sweater where it rested over the left side of her ribcage. Underneath would lie the garish scarring of her guild mark, put there by unconventional means because there was only one option at the time. Branding or death. Apparently the boy thought branding her would better than taking her life and ending her suffering. It had gotten infected a good many times, as she hadn't been able to clean it properly, nor did she have the knowledge to. Now the spot just ached with the memory of its origin date.

When offered a drink, she denied the offer with a polite shake of her head. She'd never been one to drink coffee, or enjoy it much. And since meeting Ahote, tea was off the table as well. She couldn't even think about the awful thing without wanting to puke. Katherine twitched uncomfortably as the woman looked her over. She hated to be noticed, even in the slightest. And now that she was being paid attention to, she didn't know what to do with herself, so she bit her lip and stared into her lap.

Saryn offered for her to take her hand again, this time for more practical reasons. To take blood, if it were even still flowing. Katherine honestly didn't know. There were a lot of things she didn't know about her current state. She let the doctor take her hand and she pushed up her sleeve. The paleness of her skin was almost blindingly white, like the snow outside of the fortress. She had smiled softly, but the girl couldn't bring herself to feel enough to return it and just waited for this event to end so she could go back to her spot at the tavern fireplace.

Katherine didn't do so much as flinch when Saryn took her blood. It was darker than she thought it would be; the coloring gave off the impression that it was old. And it was, but she hadn't expected it to show as much. Still, she felt the doctor's eyes on her and she shifted uncomfortably, pulling down the sleeve of her sweater now that she was done. It hadn't bled any, which she had expected. She didn't bleed often, but when she did it was because of a wound much larger or deeper than a simple needle prick.

The doctor asked for her name, as she had yet to give it. She held herself and licked her dry lips, opening her mouth finally to say quietly, "It's Katherine. Katherine Neel." She noticed then, the manneristic change the doctor had. She said to herself something about the smell; infection. The girl felt herself recoiling, with full knowledge of what she meant. Saryn seemed to be putting something together and Katherine wanted to object to whatever it was, but no sound came out.

Before she could even register what was happening, her shirt was up and her front exposed. Everything that had been kept secret was now out and discovered. Sayrn poured whatever concoction she'd made over the festering of Katherine's guild mark and the girl cried out. Her body tensed and she grit her teeth, tears welling in the corners of her eyes. The sensation didn't last too long, which she was grateful for. It was awful. But as she looked down to see exactly what it had done...

"What was that? She asked, her full voice coming into effect. She hadn't spoken much in a while, so the sudden use was grating and the normally soft, light tone was morphed into something that sounded sick and rough. Her festering guild mark no longer festered. It felt clean and healed; the memory of pain even beginning to disappear.

Then the doctor spoke. Words she hadn't known she didn't want to hear, but now that they were out in the open, she wanted to rewind so she could leave before they could be said. Then she wouldn't have to answer the grueling question... Why? Katherine's expression dropped lower into something dark. Her disdain, however apparent, was not directed at the woman before her. No, this was meant for someone else, but he was not present. No matter how much she hated to recall these specific events, she would tell them anyway.

"I am not supposed to be here," she started, staring into Saryn's eyes coldly. She did feel cold... But inside this time. "I came to this mountain to get answers about my family's death and instead, I was nearly murdered by a stranger in the settlements. I thought I was lucky to have someone save me, but he mistreated me further and brought me here. He, Famine's bastard son. The boy should have killed me when he had the chance, but he'd rather have me be 'useful.'" Her voice began to choke up as fatter tears filled her eyes. "Of what use could I possibly be? I'm too weak and he knows it, so why keep me alive? What's the fucking point?" Katherine took a stuttering breath. It'd been quite some time since she'd really cried and while it felt good in a way, she was still embarrassed. Her insides felt like they were twisting with how much she was feeling at once; anger, desperation, regret, frustration. All of these things and more.

She felt the memory of heartache, the thickness inside her head and her chest growing until she couldn't breathe. As if she really needed to. Katherine sobbed and buried her face in the sleeves of her sweater.

Katherine peeked out from behind her arms with her lips pressed tightly to keep herself silent as the tears kept falling. Sayrn was asking the real questions here. Why not just...? She was being offered the chance to do what she wanted without any obstacles. But as she looked down at the spear that laid before her she felt... Hesitant. She said nothing, listening instead as the doctor talked, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. The woman wasn't wrong; there was something keeping her from going through with it, but it wasn't anger. It was hope. Deep down, past all of the turmoil and the thick layers of pain, there was hope that her life would get better. Her father had instilled that in her.

The girl smiled at the memory of her father, her hard expression softening into one of nostalgia. She remembered little about him, but still enough that she gained some comfort. Katherine wiped her cheeks and got up from her seat. She grabbed the spear from the floor, feeling it's weight in her delicate hand before she held it out for Saryn to take.

"I won't do it," she said, with a small, sad smile. "It's difficult to remember sometimes, when all things seem to be going wrong, but... My father would be disappointed in me. He taught me to look for the best things in the worst situations. I haven't been keeping my promise to him, one I made when I turned 18." Katherine settled back into her seat and folded her hands in her lap. "I told him I wouldn't ever give up. That I would fight for my life no matter how badly I want to quit, because it's nearly been stolen from me too many times to count. I fought until the last day I could and now, just because I've been cursed to live forever, doesn't mean I have to stop right? Ending my own life would be weak and it would show everyone I've ever fought that it's possible for me to fall. I can't fall..." She looked at Saryn intently. "Because his death would then be in vain wouldn't it? Everything he taught me would go to waste and I can't let him down like that."

"At this point I'd say it's safe to assume so, yes," Katherine said with a short laugh, flexing her toes as she finally noticed they weren't prickling any longer. It was warmer in this room than the rest of the guild; she almost didn't want to leave. "I'm still not quite sure how it works or how long it will, but I counted once; ten years ago, when I woke up. It's been 1,222 years now and counting still, I think. That would make me... 1,240 years old. It must be though, I can't think of any other explanation. I haven't done much to test myself, so I really can't tell you much about my physical body." She eyed Sayrn when she mentioned that she'd ignored the question about her past. She really hadn't meant to, it was just... something she still didn't know much about. But for the sake of the doctor's curiousity, she would tell her what she knew thus far.

"I'm... sorry. The memories come in waves, but they're slowly returning. I can... tell you only what I know now." Katherine wrung her hands, not sure what she should say. There were a plethora of things she could, but the issue was how. How could she say it without reliving it completely? "There's my childhood, which I'm still recovering. But I can tell you why I came here, as that seems to be of more interest to you." Just thinking about it made her upset, if only because she still hadn't gotten her answers. Properly that was. "I had a host family in Magnolia a year ago and Basilisk Fang, whether indirectly or not, killed them. I came here to find out more about what happened and, now that I've thought about it, that was a really terrible idea."

Likeminded people were hard to find, and sympathy even harder to come by. But Sayrn understood how she felt, or so she said. Katherine felt choked, she couldn't think of anything to say in response to what the doctor told her. They delved into her past and the moment had become less check-up appointment and more sharing sentiments. Sayrn bit her finger, showing an example of her blood's corrosive capabilities. Katherine watched it sizzle and melt on the floor, her surprise internal and not so apparent in her expression. There was a noticable quiver in the doctor's voice and she frowned. What she was talking about clearly held some semblance of aching behind it and she knew that all too well herself. And then...

Saryn hugged her. She stiffened, her eyes blown wide. The feeling had been so absent in her life that it was almost foreign, but eventually she relaxed. She wrapped her own arms around the woman's torso and shut her eyes tightly, taking as much comfort from the embrace as she could before it ended. She offered to help her regain her memory, but there was a condition. She would help her test poisons, non-lethal Katherine assumed. It seemed the perfect thing to take advantage of her conditional immortality.

"I would be honored," she said, a small smile taking over her gloominess and making it disappear all together. "It would give me a purpose here, which I am desperate for. So, I will glady assist you in any way you need." There was a rush of childlike excitement moving through her stagnant veins like wildfire. Of course, a slight fear was present as well; she didn't know what might happen to her, but all she had wanted since her arrival was to be helpful. It was what Ahote wanted as well, although he might not have imagined this would be it.

"Stay...?" She was going to stay here? In the lab with Saryn? Something warm bloomed in her chest and Katherine beamed, overwhelmed with joy as the old feeling of belonging returned to her. The girl stood from her seat and looked into the newly opened room where Saryn had laid, and she fidgeted restlessly. She didn't know what to do with herself, she was so excited! She finally had things to look forward to, a reason to be happy in this place so plauged by the sense of death and morose. "T-thank you, so much. I can't wait," she said, wringing her red hair in her hands as if it were a sopped towel. "Alright, I'll... I'll go back for now. But if you don't mind-" The woman fell asleep before she could finish, but she wasn't bothered. Instead, she let herself out of the lab wearing a ridiculous smile and left the doctor to sleep.

Outside, she would press her back against the closed door and clutch the space where her heart was. She let out a shaky sigh of relief, leaning her head back to stare up at the darkness of the fortress' high ceilings.

There's no need to worry anymore. Things are beginning to look up, just like papa said they would.

[End]