It’d been a close friend for so long and yet it felt as though she’d only truly begun to see the true nature, the mask so firmly placed she hadn’t realized how beastly it could truly be. Tears continued to stream down her face as memories flowed back into place like lazy puzzle pieces. Flashes of those last moments before she left came back, the sorrow and love etched on her face before the green glow obscured her vision and the world faded. The blank feeling as she woke up, knowing deep down something was amiss and yet she’d wandered for a whole day before things started coming back, the confusion unwavering in its assault to fill in the blanks.
There’d been a purpose behind being in this strange world, a reason like all the others prior and all the ones she’d visit thereafter. Yet something was missing, something had gone…awry. She lacked the reasons of why or how, merely knowing not all was right in this alien world.
The woman avoided the streets, sticking to back alleys as her brain wracked through every recollection to find the missing pieces buried deep within. Animals steered clear of the distraught woman as intermittent hisses and snarls escaped in her frustration as the tears welled up. Then the dam broke and the waterfalls began as winter-cold chills cascaded through her lithe form. Wretched irony laughed at her, a bully to all and yet it finally turned its focus upon her.
’Oh gods, is this how she felt every time?’
Food escaped into a metal canister, the gut wrenching feeling too much to bear. Guilt inspired sobs shook her very core as the woman huddled against a wall, thin tail wrapping around her knees in the same way she’d witnessed her sister perform so many times before. Only a little comfort filled her however, nobody there to wrap their arms around her in this moment and offer empty reassurances as her’s had been. How she ached to pull them all back and simply apologize, intentions good and yet so wrong. She’d offered placid hope in the face of suffering, always unsure how to make the pain go away for her sister, wishing time and time again for the other creatures to cease their torment and yet, in her heart she knew: it wasn’t them so much as her people.
And herself.
’It was for her!’
An excuse told each time to soothe her personal wounds, her guilt as each time her sister became a blank slate. Each hole they dug received a blanket over it, sown into place and yet not filling a thing, she knew this and yet ignored it…for what? The hope that the woman might eventually learn to overlook it, overcome it and accept the fate their people granted her? Hands gripped pitch black locks, pulling as if another pain might distract her from the heart wrenching reality. No, this entire time she deluded herself, accepting it for herself even as her sister saw ahead and took on the traits of their shared ancestor. If only she could’ve inherited the Cheshire Cat’s freedom, its trickery, then perhaps the circumstances could be reversed. Instead she allowed her precious sibling to take on the burden herself while all she did was throw every obstacle and trap in the way. Any aid she offered staved off destruction, but offered so little salvation. She wouldn’t change everything, knowing that what little good she performed allowed this chance, any other handler likely to have tossed the woman to the trash long ago.
’Where some already believed she belonged.’
Another knife stabbed through her heart, wanting to yell and scream against them and their claims. How she desperately wanted the return of that child who looked at her with all the hope and love in the world, offering her comfort when it was she who’d come to suffer soon enough.
”It’s okay…if it’s for you, then it’s okay…I’ll accept my fate. I’ll do my best so you can be proud, so please…please stop crying?”
’Why, oh why,’ she bemoaned with another body wrenching sob, ’why couldn’t we have been born elsewhere, another time, another place?’ Envy for the people slumbering in their homes filled her, jealousy warming her for a moment as her heart screamed to lash out at them for this injustice, this unfairness. Just as quickly the flames vanished, leaving the woman cold and limp against the empty shop alley. They weren’t at fault, she simply wanted to swap places so badly it hurt all over. Why, why had the council chosen their families to combine? Why had the fountain cursed them so? Why couldn’t the fates allow her sister to be born a purebred, to be something more than a tool? Even knowing others suffered a similar fate she couldn’t care about them, not right now, not when she knew her sister currently moved closer and closer to the edge of death. The mission itself was suicidal.
’And yet it’s all for me…no…I suppose even that’s untrue now…’
Unfocused eyes stared at cobblestones as the denizens of the night offered her a wide birth. She could see their faces now in the puddle before her, the same ones she tried to erase before. This mission endangered them as well knowing that woman. Regardless of their people’s decision about this society, their questions could very well put them in harm’s way, these people more openly caring than the closest of clans back home. They didn’t require bonds forged of blood to act just as protective of her sister as the pair of sisters did for each other. Even with the loss of memories they remained close at hand, refusing to give her up so easily…they clung with a desperation she could only admire, recognizing their shared trait.
No…
’Fate does not have to get its way,’ a spark of life flickered back into empty golden eyes, ’If she refuses to bow down to it, then why should I? Why should I accept the end as I did before? She’s been fighting it for so long, and I’ve been so blind to it all because I let her take up the mantle alone. I let her blind me with the same bonds they forced upon her…heh, if only they could see the wool she forged across their eyes…no, I cannot let her do this alone. Not anymore…’ Power, determination, will: it permeated her body. It flowed through every vein, filling her with a renewed vigor she thought impossible moments ago, though her body continued to shake with the effort of standing. The realization left her drained, but her clan had always been quick to recover, quick to regain their feet and go after what they truly wanted. She’d been falling until finally she hit the ground on her feet as finally eyes cast themselves skywards to glimpse the glittering heavens. It was time to stop staring at the ground before her, to look beyond the here and now.
Pulling a handheld device from one of her pouches the woman set about locating her ex-enemies. Her jealousy towards them had been fueled by a fear of what their presence meant: death for her sister. Yet now as she gazed upon the pictures the feline woman couldn’t help viewing them as their salvation. Most would be easy to locate thanks to tracking and information gleamed from her sister’s memories, though one or two would remain tricky…but any help she could receive would be welcome.
’I don’t care if they hate me, if they cast me out. As long as they help her I don’t care about my fate…I will not let her walk alone any longer.’
So many things ached that she couldn’t walk a step further, cradled in the crook of a large tree’s roots. Instincts told the woman to head higher, but her body screamed at the very notion. Green eyes opened a sliver, watching her hand brush through the thick fur of her tail, the sensation feeling rather alien oddly enough. Sometimes she could see little wisps come off it, though Sorrow reassured her that it would subside soon enough and then it would only occur when she unleashed her true strength in combat. Each hair prickled at her skin though, Mao wincing as another full body throbbing started up. It’d been more painful that she could’ve imagined and yet so necessary for what was to come. Her body had been altered by the control gene for so long that its removal forced changes here and there, resetting the woman to how she should’ve been from what she’d become.
Her final act with the crystals had been to erase her very presence from Chesha’s mind, the green emerald still gripped firmly in her other hand. Soon she’d put it away, but for the moment it brought solace and conviction, having spurred the woman to continue traveling despite the waves of pain. She’d completed the contract to both ancestors, allowing the pair to devour the intrusive animal and force its power from her. It was a toss-up however whether or not the spell would retain its effects upon her sister, the poor woman having undergone memory shaping courtesy of Mao herself. She’d long ago found that even as emeralds recorded for her, they could be used to augment the memories of others, a neat trick she employed on a multitude of people to the point she lost count long ago. Unfortunately she’d been weak from Chesha’s control, the devices of her people strong and so couldn’t be sure how well the spell worked this time despite her increased susceptibility. It’d been a hasty retreat after all, eager to create distance and prevent the woman from recalling her too quickly by presence alone.
”Sleep now child.”
”We shall do what we can in the meanwhile.”
”But for now, sleep…”
Eyes closing and breath calming she spared her last thoughts towards them.
’If I died tomorrow…as long as I take her down then it’ll all be worth it, for her and them.’ Long ago Mao accepted the likelihood of her death against her sister. The white wolf who could control a flame so hot the mixed breed woman believed it emanated from the very sun itself. It’d scorched her many times in the past, melting crystal to her skin at Syu’s ire for her mistakes. Chesha could cover up quite well, but they couldn’t escape every time. The final removal of the last control barrier offered her further courage, but only a little certainty that she might live through the encounter. She wanted to live. Mao simply couldn’t allow herself the false hope though, having lived such an uncertain and confusing life.
As she saw the faces of her friends though the woman desperately wanted to come out the victor even more. She wanted to smile with her guild mates back at Sabertooth, to see how Kite fared on his ship, see what Haretsa was up to at her new home, to wait for when she’d next see Niyol and what odd events would ensue after…she wanted to find some of her more casual friends as well, make sure they were doing all right. She wanted to catch Dmitry slumbering on another roof top or another strange place or fighting with Hati over something.
Most of all, Mao wanted to seek out her mate’s warmth, to find Aiyana and promise that she won’t forget again. That she won’t disappear again.
A whimper escaped, her throat clenching at the myriad of thoughts and yet stopped breathing as she worried about her mate. They’d promised to spend the day together, albeit they couldn’t decide whether on a job or simply out and about town, before going to bed. Like all the times before the summons from her sister came in the dead of night, and like a good tool Mao extracted herself from the other woman’s grip carefully before leaving the Ace’s house. By now it’d already been a day since her sudden disappearance…
’Merely another reason to not falter. I want…I want to see them all again…’
”Sleep child.”
Her thoughts slipped away and blissful nothingness took over.
A message could be found by multiple parties – be it on a window sill, a mail box, or perhaps on the ground outside their front door and anywhere else that’d seemed fitting at the time - the sender unknown, recorded on a lacrima crystal. The girl in the crystal resembles Mao, yet her golden eyes resemble a feline’s and her hair pitch black hair sports a pair of cat-like ears.
”Please…you have to help my sister. You’re our only hope. I have no right to ask favors of any of you…but if you hold even the smallest care for Mao then please, please come to the coordinates I’ve supplied at the end of the message. I can explain further there and answer any questions you have along the way…but right now she is on a suicidal mission, one that she cannot hope to win. We only have a day, maybe two at best. Please…please help me save the one person I hold dear in life.”
After the message ends the coordinates for a location near Beanstalk Village appear where Chesha anxiously awaits.
How detestable that she sought this man out of her own accord. It'd be so easy to leave him be, but if her descendent could seek out help...well...she had mentioned to this obnoxious one her intentions of helping her mix blooded relative. The man refused to wait for her to vacate the child before forcing her from it...between that and his strength she supposed he might be a worthy ally to seek out. Out of all the ones Chesha wanted he was the only one not tied to a guild, though there was some speculation whether or not she'd find the homeless lad despite his bonds to one.
Finding such a source of power was hardly a feat at all, the real problem bonding the lacrima to her temporarily without a proper host. While it might've made some sense to pass the message along herself Kasmeer didn't trust the fellow personally even if some part of her begrudgingly accepted her descendent's fate would be more secured with his presence. She wouldn't stay long enough for him to attempt giga drain 2.0 as she manifested across the room from him.
"Don't worry I'm merely here to drop off a message. If you hold any true fondness for Mao you'll consider the invitation."
As she vanished a light clink sound would follow suit as the recording lacrima hit the ground where she'd once been. She had other places to be after all, not willing to leave the girl's fate purely to the canine.
Last edited by Mao on 21st February 2016, 7:00 pm; edited 1 time in total