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    Shuhei's Magic [ White Dragon Slayer]

    Mifune
    Mifune

    The White Wizard


    The White Wizard

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    Post by Mifune 27th December 2012, 12:02 pm

    Primary Magic: White Dragon Slayer [3rd Generation]
    Secondary Magic: Light Dragon Slayer Lacrima
    Caster or Holder: Caster
    Description: Taught to Shuhei by the White Dragon Sapharaj, This magic allows Shuhei to alter his physicality in to that of the White Dragon and produce light in high enough concentrations to create very damaging spells. (Laser beams ftw!!!) All Dragon Slayers possess the unique ability to consume external sources of their own element, thus Shuhei is at a great advantage during the day as he can constantly absorb the light of the sun providing him with a limitless supply of nourishment and increased vitality. There are also a limitless number of light producing things that Shuhei can draw strength from. The Moon is an adequate source of nourishment, though it is not as good as the Sun. Fire, Light bulbs, even the light of the stars give Shuhei a small amount of power to drive him forward, and by devouring each source of light (aside from the sun and moon and other large masses in space) He extinguishes them.
    Strengths:

    • This magic possesses a significant advantage against Shadow or Darkness magics.
    • Being capable of partially transforming his body in to light allows Shuhei to move at nearly the speed of light.  By doing so, the force of his blows are amplified greatly and is also the focus of many of his spells.
    • Shuhei possesses incredible survivability as a result of being able to eat sunlight.  He almost never has to eat actual food and can function for weeks at a time without a single bite.  This also speeds up his metabolism to the point where is body can generate more heat than the average human, allowing him to survive in colder climates with little to no clothing required.
    • Most of Shuhei's spells involve bright flashes of light, which can potentially blind his opponents.  Coupled with his superior speed, Shuhei is a force to be reckoned with.

    Weaknesses:

    • Despite being able to move at (Literally) blinding speeds, Shuhei's mind has trouble keeping up with the extremely fast movements, thus when moving at these high speeds, he must designate his destinations beforehand.
    • If Shuhei cannot see where he's going he cannot travel very far, for running in to a wall at nearly the speed of light can be severely damaging to himself.  Thus, Shuhei must always plan where he's going in advance.
    • Opponents with magic that could create obstructions like barricades and walls have an advantage against Shuhei.

    Abilities/Powers:

    • Shuhei can Devour all sources of light, extinguishing them. Fire, lightning, light bulbs etc. However they must be in a stable form for him to devour it. Anything used in an offensive technique cannot be devoured (Aside from light based spells) and only once Shuhei defends himself from the attack can he devour it.
    • Shuhei is capable of walking on Light, allowing him to fly at his normal running speed given that there is a sensible amount of light. (enhanceable by his speed amplifying spells.)
    • Impervious to Light based attacks
    • Senses are enhanced
    • Reflexes are greatly enhanced
    • Physical durability and strength is greatly enhanced
    • Night Vision
    • Immune to blindness from Light
    • Shuhei's speed and agility is greatly improved.
    • DRAGON FORCE:  As a 3rd Generation Dragon Slayer, Shuhei has the ability to activate Dragon Force at will, without devouring an enormous source of his element or being in an emotional state (Though stronger emotions do drastically increase its power.)  In Dragon Force all of his spells power increase to the point where his spells can only be countered or penetrated by spells that are ranked higher than them and clashes between equally ranked spells are always won by him.  His physical strength and agility are also amplified to the point where he cannot be opposed without the use of magic ranked higher than himself.  His Dragons Roar becomes an S-Rank spell, turning in to "White Dragons Holy Roar" and its width increases by 15 feet.  lasts 5 posts with a 10 post cool down.


    D-Rank spells:

    C-Rank spells:

    B-Rank Spells:

    A-Rank spells:

    S-Rank Spells:

    H-Rank Spell:


    Last edited by Shuhei on 27th February 2016, 5:24 am; edited 22 times in total


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    Mifune
    Mifune

    The White Wizard


    The White Wizard

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    Post by Mifune 2nd January 2013, 4:15 pm

    I think this is ready for review.


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    Mifune
    Mifune

    The White Wizard


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    Post by Mifune 4th January 2013, 6:09 pm

    bump


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    Zeno
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    Post by Zeno 5th January 2013, 1:07 am

    All right then, let's try to find the balance.
    I'll be taking this app step by step again, because it's so close to the border of being overpowered, if it hasn't crossed that border already...


    First of all, something I noticed now and that has been an issue with someone else, is the usage of heat here. Basically you get rid of your greatest weakness: ice mirrors. You also become a fire dragon slayer passively. So I will not approve of that.

    Another issue here is lightspeed... This isn't speed magic first of all. The excuse "but it's light magic and light is fast" doesn't fly here. So this will need to moderated a lot.

    Thirdly, there should be something in the weaknesses about Shuhei at night time. If he gets a boost in stamina during the day, it should work the other way around at night.

    Shuhei made his name by being the fastest man alive. Even without all of his speed enhancing abilities, Shuhei's movements are flawless and in all definitions of the word - fast. To anyone below B-Rank his movements will appear to be nothing more than a blur, even without his magic. Also, being a speedster has other perks as well. Shuhei has an incredible cardiovascular system. He could run from dawn until dusk and not even have to catch his breath.

    That is also overpowered. This isn't the anime, sadly. Without magical speed enhancements, shuhei is still bound by reality. Being a blur with normal movements to B-Rank or lower is too strong. Being a speedster usually means being fast over short distances but not being as good at over long distances, having such a cardiovascular is insane and completely gets rid of stamina drawbacks.

    2 post cool down for flash step.

    Halo will need a cooldown. It can easily be abused in combination with Shuhei's speed. Spamming this results in guaranteed hits regardless of the rank.

    The stigma is too strong if it can last up to 4 posts.

    The radiant pistol should be able to be used once every 2 posts instead of 1.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Shuhei's Magic [ White Dragon Slayer]  Zeno1_by_gramcrackers-d7l4bjh
    Mifune
    Mifune

    The White Wizard


    The White Wizard

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    Post by Mifune 5th January 2013, 1:17 pm

    First of all, something I noticed now and that has been an issue with someone else, is the usage of heat here. Basically you get rid of your greatest weakness: ice mirrors. You also become a fire dragon slayer passively. So I will not approve of that.

    By this Logic Fire Dragon Slayers shouldn't be allowed to use fire that generates light... I mean come on, Light is energy. In most of my spells weaknesses I wrote reflective surfaces as a way to counter the spells, which would include Ice Mirrors and basically most ice spells in general. Sure if I had a spell that shot a constant laser at an ice mirror, it might melt through eventually, but for the most part reflections are one of my greatest weaknesses. I will not compromise here because I'm not a twilight vampire.

    Another issue here is lightspeed... This isn't speed magic first of all. The excuse "but it's light magic and light is fast" doesn't fly here. So this will need to moderated a lot.

    You and I had a conversation about this the first time around I tried to get my magic through... You denied a Healing spell I made because that was the Sky Dragon Slayers "Thing." So, I turned my magic fully towards the basic Dragon Slayer spells + Speed magic instead of healing. Speed is the strongest aspect of this magic... So as long as it's understood that this form of Dragon Slayer Magic is to speed as Sky DS is to healing. I don't mean to sound Rude btw, the tone in which I'm speaking this in my head sounds nicer than how it reads XD

    Thirdly, there should be something in the weaknesses about Shuhei at night time. If he gets a boost in stamina during the day, it should work the other way around at night.

    That doesn't make sense to me >_> Considering how Dragon Slayers work, they're like normal humans until they're given an external source of their own element. I don't think Gajeel runs faster on Iron than on Dirt. That's sort of a bad comparison but you get the idea... If you're bent on me weakening Shuhei at night for no reason I will...

    Removed the Flash God thing from the powers/abilities... Only had it there because you approved it the first time.

    Cool downs changed on the other spells except for Halo... Halo can't be used by itself I can only use it with Flash Step or a variant of it which should make up for the cool down.


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    Mifune
    Mifune

    The White Wizard


    The White Wizard

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    Post by Mifune 6th January 2013, 7:37 am

    The thing is that we want the Dragon Slayers to have specific powers and that the range is a bit limited in a way so we can offer unique abilities to the Dragon Slayers as well. The Sky and Storm Dragon Slayers are supposed to be healer with the Storm Dragon Slayer to be more offensive and Sky to be more defensive. Allowing other Dragon Slayers to have the same type of abilities takes away what is uniquely theirs.

    Just brought this back for reference...

    Also, keep in mind that this Dragon Slayer magic is more powerful than a regular DS magic because it's third generation... I purchased a Lacrima to make it so.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Zeno
    Zeno

    Emotional Tempest 1


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    Post by Zeno 9th January 2013, 3:54 am

    Magical light doesn't have to generate heat. So the resistance to cold weather ability is a problem.

    The fact to be incredibly fast as a result of light magic here is fine, but lightspeed is the problem. Traveling at the speed of light warps reality and would bend time for Shuhei. Fast enough to be no longer visible and to go from one spot to the next seemingly instantly because of the sheer speed is possible, but again this should have the drawback that Shuhei's mind can't keep up with the speed.

    Holy Ray - While you were gone, power levels have been added to spells for difficult cases such as these. There is an unwritten rule that we shouldn't allow spells to cross the borders of power between ranks. However, this C Rank spell may be as close to the border of B Rank as it can get, but it should not cross it. Otherwise it would have to be listed as a B Rank spell.. You can find the power levels in the magic rules.

    White dragon's breath - you'll have to find another weakness to balance it out.

    Illuminate - I assume the blinding would last for 1 post?

    Omnipresence - I don't understand how this would add to the power of an offensive spell since the halo cannot deal damage. Once you attack you shouldn't be able to flash to another spot because that might ruin your aim or control over the spell, no? The halo might be able to mimic you to the point where an illusion is created that an attack is cast from all sides, while there is only one that would actually deal damage. This provides another weakness that Shuhei is vulnerable while casting the spell as he cannot flash to a different halo. Which would help balancing this spell out.

    Flash step still only has a 1 post cooldown, which is very very short. If this in turn counts for halo as well it would still be a bit too strong. If you'd give halo a 2 post cooldown you'd be able to use a flash step with halo once, one without the next turn, one with the next. Which would create a better balance.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Shuhei's Magic [ White Dragon Slayer]  Zeno1_by_gramcrackers-d7l4bjh
    Mifune
    Mifune

    The White Wizard


    The White Wizard

    Developer/GFX Artist- VIP- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- God Of Ishgar- Guild Master- Dragon Slayer- H-Rank- S-Rank- Richie Rich- Rich- Veteran Level 6- Veteran Level 5- Veteran Level 4- Veteran Level 3- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Magic Application Approved!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- X-Mas Event Participant- Hero- Best GFX Artist Award- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
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    Post by Mifune 9th January 2013, 7:16 am

    As long as my spells still have their offensive power... It just seems idiotic that lasers do damage that isn't burn damage or something like that. Removed from magic.

    As for the light speed weakness... I had already stated in my magics weaknesses that Shuhei's mind has difficulty keeping up with the speed so he must predesignate targets and whatnot. He can't bend time or any of that nonsense because his mind will always only move at the same speed. So there would be no spontaneous Flash Steps to get out of harms way unless he was in a very wide open area or has enough time to think his way out.

    I don't understand what you want from Holy Ray... Did you want me to change something or were you just pointing out the power levels thing?

    expanded on the breaths weakness...

    I specified that Illuminate blinds an opponent for 1 post.

    I altered Omnipresence a little to make more sense and be more balanced. Omnipresence is like a Flash Step spell that he can use as many times as he wants during its activation but he can only use it to travel between his Halo which are considered waypoints. (That part wasn't altered) So he's actually controlling the Halo and and can use spells through them but can't attack physically with them because that will cancel the spell. So normally Halo can't inflict damage but since Shuhei can travel between them at will he can cast a spell with each almost simultaneously to actually inflict damage. He can use an offensive spell that will be multiplied by the number of Halo he is in control of, but that will also multiply the cool down of the spell he's using so if he uses one of his stronger spells he'll be without it for a very long time after. Also the Halo are very easily destroyed. I think it's balanced even though it does sound very powerful... This spell requires a lot of planning and preparation and has significant drawbacks afterwards and also requires the use of multiple spells in combination with it to be useful. Also someone who's fought or seen Shuhei fight before would know to get rid of the Halo to prevent the use of this spell. If it does result in Shuhei winning a fight, woot, but if the opponent manages to escape him he'll be at a big disadvantage. There's a lot of give and take with this spell and I tried to make it as balanced as I can.

    Weird... I thought i made Flash step have 2 post cool downs. I must have cancelled the Edit accidentally. Though, since you're ok with it being a 1 post cool down, I made Halo a 2 post CD.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    NightDrivenEn7
    NightDrivenEn7

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    Post by NightDrivenEn7 13th January 2013, 10:06 am

    ...I will see if Zeno would like to continue with this; sense I do not fully understand where I could continue on even after reading EVERYTHING you two have done so far....


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    "True Strength shall be shown, and the corruption of magic shall be broken."

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    Post by Zeno 14th January 2013, 3:24 am

    Yeah, Holy Ray shouldn't have the concentrated power of a B Rank spell, but it can come very close to it. Meaning that if it would hit a B Rank barrier it would be damaged greatly and more easily destroyed with a simple attack after.

    Okay now that I understand Omnipresence I still don't see how the power of the attack would be multiplied since you aren't casting it again and again. You cast it once and then go between waypoints to change the angle, correct?


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    NightDrivenEn7
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    Post by NightDrivenEn7 17th January 2013, 1:39 pm

    Divine Dragon's Iron Fist: "The maneuver can also be applied to his legs changing the spell to Divine Dragon's Iron Knee" Ok, no. I am sorry but interchangeable spells just seem a bit......off for this.

    Next is the weakness of hitting something that it cannot penetrate...well what can it not penetrate those are things needing to be listed on all of your spells; how they do against similar types, opposite types, different ranks; etc. You need to add all of those details into the weaknesses of each spell. The reason this needs to be explained is because of this "Shuhei propels his arm forward at nearly the speed of light shattering whatever he throws his fist at." So yeah details please.

    White Dragon Wings:

    Label exact range your spell can cover via vertical or horizontal, in other words the amount of a cone you are launching this in; the arc degree....Do you cover 180 degrees in front of you if you do it horizontal, or much less? you need to explain.

    Radiant Canon: 300 meters...900+ feet......Do I even have to explain what is completely wrong there? This is a canon SNIPE for crying out loud. If you want to keep this range, or any range above 150 feet, I suggest a charge time; channel delay. Especially if you want to keep it moving at the speed it fires at. Cause this is "I see you, you don't see me, you are now dead or severally wounded before knowing what has hit you, and I am still far enough away to take 100% advantage of this now."

    Radiant Storm......Uhh....I can allow it....but....let me think here...100 damage times 1000= 100,000 damage in total....Uhhh....As an A rank I can probably see this...the math here is......well that is only if on a single target....But on a large range of enemies; then the damage is significantly altered....I am going to have to ask you to nerf the output onto a single target compared to a large variety of enemies; this spell can still be severely devastating on a single opponent if it is only meant to be as a suppression skill.

    White Drive is a bit over powered...I mean, you naturally have Dragon Force and being a Third Gen you can activate that on will; so why do you want White Drive for a back up? There doesn't seem to be any weaknesses to it either; which is why it is over powered. There needs to be some major balancing to this spell. Frankly, I say just get rid of it.

    I need you to be more descriptive on Judgement and label what actually the character needs to do in order to summon the beam of light. Also, sense you are transferring a large amount of magic to use this heavy hitting spell; wouldn't it draining you greatly for using it; thus giving you more of a reason to use it as a finisher?

    I will stop there for now so we are not over loaded. So this covers the problems I see with your B-A rank spells. I also want you to get a bit more detailed within them as well, you have hardly any Strengths and Weaknesses to them; so if you will please lengthen the descriptions or use what you know to add more to those sections if you do not need my help in finding them.


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    "True Strength shall be shown, and the corruption of magic shall be broken."

    Current EXP: 150

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    Mifune
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    Post by Mifune 17th January 2013, 2:25 pm

    bump


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    NightDrivenEn7
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    Shuhei's Magic [ White Dragon Slayer]  Empty Re: Shuhei's Magic [ White Dragon Slayer]

    Post by NightDrivenEn7 18th January 2013, 2:26 pm

    Just to clarify, Dragon Force is not a spell Slayers are able to use, it is a passive ability within the Ability and Power section in the main spot. Just to give you clarity on it because you are ultimately wasting a spell slot by having it there.

    Remember that interchangeable spell thing? What is "White Dragon's Holy Breath?" If you are going to keep that as a spell that consumes a vast amount of your power in order to also help balance it -like using white drive and then that spell immediately for a sudden and quick match changer at the last moment- then you need to define what that spell is and does.

    Radiance seems a bit...too strong now that I look at it carefully...before I thought it was all right, but you mention it being impenetrable...well an S/H rank spell can ultimately blow that theory to bits, so let's down grade it a bit and give it a damage duration shall we? Also, if it is a on ground bubble, doesn't that mean that anything below the caster is able to come up and strike? isn't that a good weakness?

    I know the Dragon Roar is the main attack of any slayer, but I do have concern for it's 600+ foot range.....You need to keep in mind that 1 meter equals about 3.-something odd number of feet. So if you could easily tone that down JUUUUUUSt a bit I will be happy with it's power...again main move of a slayer...it is meant to be one of the strongest so I got no complaints for it's power.

    Next post we will work on your S rank


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    Shuhei's Magic [ White Dragon Slayer]  Empty Re: Shuhei's Magic [ White Dragon Slayer]

    Post by Mifune 18th January 2013, 3:34 pm

    As a Third Generation DS, my Dragon Force is slightly different from that of an average DS... I can activate it at will without requiring emotion or a strong source of light. I'm the first Third so I sort of wanted to set the standard. I was hoping to work with the staff to create something thirds can use in that sense to separate them from regular first generation dragon slayers.

    White Drive only makes my Dragons Roar stronger... So what if I call it something else? I don't consider that interchangeable because it still does the same thing the same way, only better. It's also a Third Gen Dragon Slayer Spell from the series that I wanted to include. I noted that I can only use the roar once and it extends the cool down by a large percent depending on when I use it during my White Drive... He can only use it once during the activation of his Drive and the cool down for his Dragons Roar only starts at the end of its activation. Extending cool downs is how I express my character has used up a lot of energy.

    For Radiance, I mentioned it only pushes spells B-Rank and below away. It's implied that A-Rank spells and up can penetrate it. Flash Step + variants means he can't use a bunch of his spells the post afterwards... Isn't that enough for a simple defense? I also didn't put a duration because its activated and it ends in the same post. Whenever someone doesn't put a duration it's implied that it's an instant spell. If you really want me to point out the obvious I can >_>

    I altered my Dragons Roar... I went big since I'm a third gen, but I guess I can tone it down since I've got other Third Generation spells to amplify my other dragon spells.

    Just mentioning this now so you don't flip I'm an idiot who cannot type real words... Flash Dance and Hippocrene are spells from my old magic app which was originally approved by Zeno. I understand that was a while ago and things might have changed and I'm willing to make changes if required. Though all three S-Rank spells I would really like to work on and keep if I'm allowed.


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    Shuhei's Magic [ White Dragon Slayer]  Empty Re: Shuhei's Magic [ White Dragon Slayer]

    Post by Mifune 21st January 2013, 12:01 pm

    Bumping.

    Also fyi, Zeno approved Omnipresence.


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    Shuhei's Magic [ White Dragon Slayer]  Empty Re: Shuhei's Magic [ White Dragon Slayer]

    Post by Guest 22nd January 2013, 12:15 am

    Dear god this magic bothers me, I am going to approve it for now, but If I see you godmodding with it, Im gonna deny it real fast.
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    Shuhei's Magic [ White Dragon Slayer]  Empty Re: Shuhei's Magic [ White Dragon Slayer]

    Post by desirée 16th December 2017, 4:26 pm

    Shuhei's Magic [ White Dragon Slayer]  XEibTrW


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