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    Anastasia Isayev
    Anastasia Isayev

    Moderator- Knight VIP Status- Regular VIP Status- VIP- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Guild Master- S-Rank- A-Rank- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Valkyrian
    Position : None
    Posts : 2446
    Guild : Black Sails GM
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Mentor : [Primary] Ivan Isayev [Secondary] Fafnir, the World Dragon
    Experience : 321116

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Mechanized REquip
    Second Skill: Dragons' Champion
    Third Skill:

    split from topic Empty Re: split from topic

    Post by Anastasia Isayev 2nd April 2016, 1:05 pm

    Hello Ellia!  My name is Anastasia Isayev and I will be the one grading your magic today!
    Anything you see in this color will be things that I request of you to correct.
    After I send you the corrections, please correct the initial posts and then bump the thread so I know when you're done with it.

    Now let's get this show on the road, shall we?

    Ellia wrote:Magic

    Primary Magic: Desert Sun
    Secondary Magic: Locked
    Caster or Holder: Caster - Lost
    Description: Desert sun is a lost magic even to some of the demi-human that exist. An ancient magic that Ellia had studied, and learned because of her Lamia body. The magic itself is composed of three components. The sun (light/heat) magic, Desert(Sand/desert related) magic, and lastly, her body (Lamia physique) magic. Together with all three, comes the creation of Desert sun magic. A magic which was created by Lamia & other sand/desert dwelling demi-humans only to be lost through the ages, to slowly pop up from case to case. How Ellia used it, and achieved it is unknown even to her, as she has little memory of how she came in contact with the magic, simply because it feels natural to her.

    The magic itself is very light & warmth based, very few spells will detour away from that concept unless they are support based spells which give her various things. The desert side of this is based off of sands, harsh sharp sandstorms/winds and mirages from the extreme desert heat. Though it is limited somewhat to restrict any form of take-over magic, as Ellia herself is a demi-human in nature, and take-over magic just would not work with her.

    As for how she uses this magic could be a wide range of things. Slowly obtaining new spells, and abilities over time(rank up) until she remembers all aspects of it, though one thing remains clear. She does know how to use this magic to fullest extent at all times, and tends to be much like the desert in times of a drought topped off with a scorching sun. In other words... relentless and unforgiving.
     
    Strengths:
    - Desert Sun magic is a Light/Sand/Lamia based magic, and is not just 1 element unless a spell otherwise states, causing it to not be as specialized in one area, giving it a lot of versatility. Meaning when being given an advantage due to the element, it is not as potent. This will give a raw 25% advantage in power against darkness/shadow based magic.
    Well, the fact that your magic can be stronger than Darkness and Shadow is fine.  However, the fact that it has a +X% damage cannot make it a strength.  It would fit more as a Unique Ability instead of a strength.  Sorry
    - Relentless in nature, be it outright speed or damage output or even range.
    - Highly resistant to heat/light based magic, reducing effectiveness by 50%
    The above should be a Unique Ability instead of a strength
    - Receives a raw 50% increase to speed while in sun/Light(warmth)
    The above should be a Unique Ability instead of a strength.
    Weaknesses:
    - Lacks versatility in defensive power, limiting defensive options.
    - User of the magic(not their magic) are weak to cold based spells, causing +50% increased damage to the user of Desert sun magic.
    - Demon slayer magic. Many consider a lamia a demon or a monster, while no she is not one, she may receive additional damage from one, however she is not counted as a 'demon' in any way. She will receive 10% additional damage from spells though.
    Could you rephrase the above weakness?
    - Unlike light magic that is specialized, this does not receive an huge bonus to strength or power when dealing with such. Instead(See strengths) it is limited.
    Please clarify what you mean by this.
    - Receives a 50% debuff to speed while in the cold.
    Please define what you mean by cold (Temperature-wise would be best)

    Lineage:
    Spoiler:

    Unique Abilities:
    Ability 1:
    Ability 2:
    Ability 3:


    Ellia wrote:
    Signature Spells:

    D-Rank:

    Well, that's everything for this magic. While it is daunting, I did speak to the other moderators about some of the issues I had and these were their suggestions. Please make the changes requested and bump it so I know to get back with you on this.

    If you have any questions, please direct them to me via PM. Thanks.


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    Ninetails Derpfox

    Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Coming Storms- A-Rank- Rich- Veteran Level 1- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- X-Mas Event Participant- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Position : None
    Posts : 2261
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Soul
    Second Skill: Ice
    Third Skill:

    split from topic Empty Re: split from topic

    Post by Ninetails Derpfox 2nd April 2016, 2:59 pm

    At the mod's request I've added my comments for Anastasia's comments in red





    Anastasia Isayev wrote:Hello Ellia!  My name is Anastasia Isayev and I will be the one grading your magic today!
    Anything you see in this color will be things that I request of you to correct.
    After I send you the corrections, please correct the initial posts and then bump the thread so I know when you're done with it.

    Now let's get this show on the road, shall we?

    Ellia wrote:Magic

    Primary Magic: Desert Sun
    Secondary Magic: Locked
    Caster or Holder: Caster - Lost
    Description: Desert sun is a lost magic even to some of the demi-human that exist. An ancient magic that Ellia had studied, and learned because of her Lamia body. The magic itself is composed of three components. The sun (light/heat) magic, Desert(Sand/desert related) magic, and lastly, her body (Lamia physique) magic. Together with all three, comes the creation of Desert sun magic. A magic which was created by Lamia & other sand/desert dwelling demi-humans only to be lost through the ages, to slowly pop up from case to case. How Ellia used it, and achieved it is unknown even to her, as she has little memory of how she came in contact with the magic, simply because it feels natural to her.

    The magic itself is very light & warmth based, very few spells will detour away from that concept unless they are support based spells which give her various things. The desert side of this is based off of sands, harsh sharp sandstorms/winds and mirages from the extreme desert heat. Though it is limited somewhat to restrict any form of take-over magic, as Ellia herself is a demi-human in nature, and take-over magic just would not work with her.

    As for how she uses this magic could be a wide range of things. Slowly obtaining new spells, and abilities over time(rank up) until she remembers all aspects of it, though one thing remains clear. She does know how to use this magic to fullest extent at all times, and tends to be much like the desert in times of a drought topped off with a scorching sun. In other words... relentless and unforgiving.
     
    Strengths:
    - Desert Sun magic is a Light/Sand/Lamia based magic, and is not just 1 element unless a spell otherwise states, causing it to not be as specialized in one area, giving it a lot of versatility. Meaning when being given an advantage due to the element, it is not as potent. This will give a raw 25% advantage in power against darkness/shadow based magic.
    Well, the fact that your magic can be stronger than Darkness and Shadow is fine.  However, the fact that it has a +X% damage cannot make it a strength.  It would fit more as a Unique Ability instead of a strength.  Sorry I agree with this. Simply restate it to "Desert Sun magic has an elemental advantage over darkness."
    - Relentless in nature, be it outright speed or damage output or even range.
    - Highly resistant to heat/light based magic, reducing effectiveness by 50%
    The above should be a Unique Ability instead of a strength Agree
    - Receives a raw 50% increase to speed while in sun/Light(warmth)
    The above should be a Unique Ability instead of a strength. Agree
    Weaknesses:
    - Lacks versatility in defensive power, limiting defensive options.
    - User of the magic(not their magic) are weak to cold based spells, causing +50% increased damage to the user of Desert sun magic.
    - Demon slayer magic. Many consider a lamia a demon or a monster, while no she is not one, she may receive additional damage from one, however she is not counted as a 'demon' in any way. She will receive 10% additional damage from spells though.
    Could you rephrase the above weakness? Here's how to restate this: "- Despite not being a demon, Ellia receives 10% more damage from demon slayer magic."
    - Unlike light magic that is specialized, this does not receive an huge bonus to strength or power when dealing with such. Instead(See strengths) it is limited.
    Please clarify what you mean by this. This seems more like a filler strength to begin with, it is pretty vague at that. I agree that this needs to be rephrased because I can find no discernable meaning behind it.
    - Receives a 50% debuff to speed while in the cold.
    Please define what you mean by cold (Temperature-wise would be best) This one, I do disagree with... I believe this weakness is more of a plot type of thing than something that actually needs to be fleshed out.

    Lineage:
    Spoiler:

    Unique Abilities:
    Ability 1:
    Ability 2:
    Ability 3:


    Ellia wrote:
    Signature Spells:

    D-Rank:

    Well, that's everything for this magic.  While it is daunting, I did speak to the other moderators about some of the issues I had and these were their suggestions.  Please make the changes requested and bump it so I know to get back with you on this.  

    If you have any questions, please direct them to me via PM.  Thanks.
    Meisa Suzume
    Meisa Suzume

    Developer/GFX Artist- Regular VIP Status- VIP- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Magic Application Approved!- Character Application Approved!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Dragon's Blood
    Position : None
    Posts : 167
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 1,100

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Zen Arts - Way of the Enduring
    Second Skill: Locked
    Third Skill:

    split from topic Empty Re: split from topic

    Post by Meisa Suzume 2nd April 2016, 3:18 pm

    Righto, I'm done with PM systems I'll go over this slowly. Since I had made edits before you had unexpectedly posted Niyol.

    So time to break this down. I'll do this in small strides for now.



    =====Concerns with metric =====
    https://www.fairytail-rp.com/t5785-metric-system-rules-information

    Spells:
    ~ Length/Width/Height ~
    Feet
    Yards
    Meters

    That should end all Concerns


    =====Concerns with my strengths & Weaknesses =====

    -Reading both of your magics, brought insight. 1 of you does not even use the strength/weakness system which I'm sure is a no no. And the other one 'Niyol' has a buff through their magic 'strength/weakness' Exaple Niyol, you're given the ability to add burn, corruption, and paralysis to your spells freely. HECK lets go further and read the fact you make yourself completely unsensable without another person using 'soul magic' by... just adding it in your description, and not your strength/weakness/ abilities. So is me really wanting a % based on something that is already allowed?... that bad?

    To say it has an 'elemental advantage' is not an organized or clear cut way of saying 'how much stronger' it is. That alone can be interpreted as oh it just has a 1% or someone can argue its a whole extra rank. This saves time, and arguments

    next for my speed/de-speed thing

    https://www.fairytail-rp.com/t5780-physical-body-equipment-and-pet-rules wrote:Also bear in mind these are guidelines. If you want your character to be super fast due to training or build then that is fine. It generally should not put them above the baseline speed for the rank above them however (without buffs).

    Highlighted the word 'generally' for a reason. I gave an equal weakness and just as strong of a weakness. for my strength & Weakness. without a % here, people can interperate that so much differently, hence again I will want a % because that allows a clear cut way of not letting it be left up to 'rp decision' as such a thing can only cause trouble.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    avatar
    Ninetails Derpfox

    Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Coming Storms- A-Rank- Rich- Veteran Level 1- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- X-Mas Event Participant- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Position : None
    Posts : 2261
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Soul
    Second Skill: Ice
    Third Skill:

    split from topic Empty Re: split from topic

    Post by Ninetails Derpfox 2nd April 2016, 3:29 pm

    Ellia wrote:Righto, I'm done with PM systems I'll go over this slowly. Since I had made edits before you had unexpectedly posted Niyol.

    So time to break this down. I'll do this in small strides for now.



    =====Concerns with metric =====
    https://www.fairytail-rp.com/t5785-metric-system-rules-information

    Spells:
    ~ Length/Width/Height ~
    Feet
    Yards
    Meters

    That should end all Concerns


    =====Concerns with my strengths & Weaknesses =====

    -Reading both of your magics, brought insight. 1 of you does not even use the strength/weakness system which I'm sure is a no no. And the other one 'Niyol' has a buff through their magic 'strength/weakness' Exaple Niyol, you're given the ability to add burn, corruption, and paralysis to your spells freely.  HECK lets go further and read the fact you make yourself completely unsensable without another person using 'soul magic' by... just adding it in your description, and not your strength/weakness/ abilities. So is me really wanting a % based on something that is already allowed?... that bad? Underlined section 1: No, I can't add them to my spells freely. It simply states that spells are capable of causing those effects, but it doesn't specify to what degree. Underlined section #2, having your magical presence be detectable only by those of your element is fine providing it works both ways. Niyol cannot detect anyone's magical presence unless they're also a death/soul mage.

    Yes, having % based buffs is that bad since it gives a very direct PvP advantage. If you want buffs, then you need to make it a unique ability.


    To say it has an 'elemental advantage' is not an organized or clear cut way of saying 'how much stronger' it is. That alone can be interpreted as oh it just has a 1% or someone can argue its a whole extra rank. This saves time, and arguments

    next for my speed/de-speed thing

    https://www.fairytail-rp.com/t5780-physical-body-equipment-and-pet-rules wrote:Also bear in mind these are guidelines. If you want your character to be super fast due to training or build then that is fine. It generally should not put them above the baseline speed for the rank above them however (without buffs).

    Highlighted the word 'generally' for a reason. I gave an equal weakness and just as strong of a weakness. for my strength & Weakness. without a % here, people can interperate that so much differently, hence again I will want a % because that allows a clear cut way of not letting it be left up to 'rp decision' as such a thing can only cause trouble.
    Meisa Suzume
    Meisa Suzume

    Developer/GFX Artist- Regular VIP Status- VIP- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Magic Application Approved!- Character Application Approved!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Dragon's Blood
    Position : None
    Posts : 167
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 1,100

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Zen Arts - Way of the Enduring
    Second Skill: Locked
    Third Skill:

    split from topic Empty split from topic

    Post by Meisa Suzume 2nd April 2016, 3:30 pm

    edited out: After a pm with you, I'll respect the decision to keep it in pm.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    avatar
    Ninetails Derpfox

    Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Coming Storms- A-Rank- Rich- Veteran Level 1- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- X-Mas Event Participant- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Position : None
    Posts : 2261
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Soul
    Second Skill: Ice
    Third Skill:

    split from topic Empty Re: split from topic

    Post by Ninetails Derpfox 2nd April 2016, 7:16 pm

    split from topic MqXl8kK

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