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    Lightning magic, [Ready]

    Hodor
    Hodor

    VIP- Player 
    Lineage : Knight of Swords
    Position : None
    Posts : 79
    Cosmic Coins : 90
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 27
    Mentor : Empty vacuums of space
    Experience : 350

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Lightning Magic
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Lightning magic, [Ready] Empty Lightning magic, [Ready]

    Post by Hodor 5th September 2014, 10:03 am

    Primary magic: lightning

    Caster or Holder: Caster

    Description: Using the electricity that flows through thordurs body, He's able to Manipulate the flow of the electricity into the outside world However, he is quite bad at controlling when the magic enters the outside world, He mainly uses this as a buffer magic and the colour is slightly redish but mostly yellow
    Burn: Lightning can get past 1000 V which is the burning point for skin, flesh, and other Insulators. If this is used on another player, the Lightning can scorch the user which will cause some extra damage. Keep in mind that this only applies to mages of User Rank or Below.
    Burn Damage is PER ATTACK!!, not per post.

    Strengths:

    • His magic is especially strong in offense
    • Has quite good supplimentary use, for examble coating himself by an aura to enchance the speed to move faster by the force it puts out.
    • It is quite good versus water and metal

    Weaknesses:

    • The Main Elemental weaknesses are Earth and Wood.
    • considdered a nuisance by other people who aren't quite fond of electricity since they either got shocked by him or are just scared of getting shocked so he is therefor avoided by them.
    • Lacks alot of defensive use caused by thordurs imagination and his lack of skill
    • The earth element can completely force thordur to fall back if he doesn't have a external weapon, so he hardly ever fights opponents with earth magic due to his lack of skill

    Abilities/Powers:

    • Extremely fast reflexes
    • very fast movement speed
    • can redirect energyflow into a substance Like an empty lacrima or something similar
    • Burn: Lightning can get past 1000 V which is the burning point for skin, flesh, and other Insulators. If this is used on another player, the Lightning can scorch the user which will cause some extra damage. Keep in mind that this only applies to mages of User Rank or Below.
      Burn Damage is PER ATTACK!!, not per post.
      Burn Damage Chart:

      1. D Rank: 1 D rank
      2. C Rank: 1 C Rank
      3. B Rank: 1 C & 1/2 D Rank
      4. A Rank: 1 B rank & 1/2 C Rank
      5. S Rank & H Rank: 2 A rank



    D Rank spells:

    C rank Spells:


    Last edited by dordur on 18th September 2014, 12:17 pm; edited 13 times in total


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    I hear...
    My victim's screams as they feed my insanity.
    I see...
    The victim as they lie on the table, staining their clothes and hair in a cardinal pool of blood.
    I taste...
    The rush of insanity as it holds me in its relentless grasp and pushes me to cut my victim's flesh till they cease their screaming.
    I smell...
    The smoldering of the blood that slowly bakes and dries in the intense lights overhead.
    I feel...
    Like this one victim will be enough, and I must continue to kill to feed this blood lust welling up inside of me.
    Kari
    Kari

    Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Spirit of Corruption
    Position : None
    Posts : 348
    Guild : Sabertooth
    Cosmic Coins : 3
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 30
    Mentor : Hakurou

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Spectral Make
    Second Skill: Ice Make
    Third Skill:

    Lightning magic, [Ready] Empty Re: Lightning magic, [Ready]

    Post by Kari 5th September 2014, 10:54 am

    Hello!! Im Kari ^^ Ill be over your app today, all my comments are in THIS COLOR!! and those are the things that will need to be fixed.

    dordur wrote:Primary magic: lightning

    Caster or Holder: Caster

    Description: lightning Magic is a branch of Elemental Magic that utilizes electricity, but more specifically, lightning, as a form of offense and defense. Mages who possess the ability to utilize such Magic are able to generate these elements from their bodies, and manipulate them.<---- we already talked about this on the C box, but i want to give your a suggestion. First ! Look at other apps from player, preferably approved apps. Talk about color, or how it appears from your body. Is it only a Buffer magic? Ect Ect.

    Strengths:

    His magic is especially strong in offense
    Has quite good supplimentary useThis needs more explanation. I understand the offense part cause its Lightning. But if your talking about the physical enhancments as supplementary then you need one more strength. Cause that would be two of the same thing.
    The magic can also strengthen his muscles by channeling electricity into them Give me one logical reason as to how that is possible. Muscles tear and become weak from lightning. Why do you think it hurts so much!

    <------ These need to be bullet pointed. if you don't know how, its like this
    Code:

    [list]
    [*]
    [*]
    [*]
    [/list]


    Weaknesses:
    Lacks alot of defensive use.
    Can also affect Some books by burning them just with the slightest touch, this can be considdered a nuisance by other people.Lightning is not fire. And books can not be burned by a touch. A book would be a conduit. Lightning will only burn something if it sends enough voltage out without a proper ground.
    Gets chased quite often by bookworms just out of spite of his magic. Uhhhhh that is kinda the same thing you just said up there. So you need another weakness.
    Can not read any books at all and therefor makes it hard for him to learn new spells.Once again... you need another weakness. He can read books just fine. Lightning will not burn a book just by a simple touch. ** Also, you have to have one more weakness than strengths, for a total of 4 weaknesses **


    Name:Lightning speed
    Rank:D-rank
    Type:Supportive, Lightning
    Description:Thordur charges his muscles with lightning stimulating them allowing him to move flat 15 m/s
    Strengths: can channel more electricity To increase the speed
    Weaknesses:
    When channeling electricity he gets twice as tired the duration of the spell is 3 Posts and the cooldown is 4 posts3 strengths's and 4 weakness's. Put duration and cooldown in the description, along with Area of effect.
    Lightning will only be able to boost speed if you coat your character in a aura of it, moving faster by the force you put out rather than electricity helping your muscles.



    Name:Upgrade the speed NOW
    Rank:D-rank
    Type:Supportive, Lightning
    Description:Thordur charges his muscles with amazing amounts lightning stimulating them allowing him to move flat amazing 30 m/s and doubling the damage done by melee weapons
    Strengths: Able to reach amazing speeds
    Weaknesses:
    When channeling electricity he gets three times as tired and the duration of the spell is 2 Posts and the cooldown is 6 postsThis spell is pretty much the same thing as the above spell, however it looks upgraded. More powerful spells than the top current D rank spell will be a C rank spell. You want a more powerful speed spell, wait till your C rank.
    Once again, 3 strengths, and 4 weakness's




    also if possible i want to be able to create spells later on, Using the remaining two slots If not then it doesn't really matter


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    C H A R A C T E R ||| M A G I C ||| T H E M E ||| B A T T L E   T H E M E |||B A N K

    Lightning magic, [Ready] 0dsc51s_zps85ba2000
    Hodor
    Hodor

    VIP- Player 
    Lineage : Knight of Swords
    Position : None
    Posts : 79
    Cosmic Coins : 90
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 27
    Mentor : Empty vacuums of space
    Experience : 350

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Lightning Magic
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Lightning magic, [Ready] Empty Re: Lightning magic, [Ready]

    Post by Hodor 5th September 2014, 12:33 pm

    bump


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    I hear...
    My victim's screams as they feed my insanity.
    I see...
    The victim as they lie on the table, staining their clothes and hair in a cardinal pool of blood.
    I taste...
    The rush of insanity as it holds me in its relentless grasp and pushes me to cut my victim's flesh till they cease their screaming.
    I smell...
    The smoldering of the blood that slowly bakes and dries in the intense lights overhead.
    I feel...
    Like this one victim will be enough, and I must continue to kill to feed this blood lust welling up inside of me.
    Kari
    Kari

    Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Spirit of Corruption
    Position : None
    Posts : 348
    Guild : Sabertooth
    Cosmic Coins : 3
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 30
    Mentor : Hakurou

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Spectral Make
    Second Skill: Ice Make
    Third Skill:

    Lightning magic, [Ready] Empty Re: Lightning magic, [Ready]

    Post by Kari 5th September 2014, 2:42 pm

    dordur wrote:Primary magic: lightning

    Caster or Holder: Caster

    Description: Using the electricity that flows through thordurs body, He's able to Manipulate the flow of the electricity into the outside world However, he is quite bad at controlling when the magic enters the outside world, He mainly uses this as a buffer magic and the colour is slightly redish but mostly yellow
    The damage chart
    Dangerous: On the verge of one rank higher+ possible third degree burns
    Severe: One and a half rank+ possible second degree burns
    Heavy: Same rank+ on the verge of burns
    Minor: One rank lower depending on spell rank

    Okay, so once, again this will all be in this color. This chart is good, but needs reworked. We are starting to go into stat mode with the site, and RP descriptions just don't quite cut it anymore.
    I apologize about that. Anyways.... this is how it should be based on my better judgement. I suggest putting All of THIS into you Ability's.
    Because at D Rank, unless specified ( or you have any active buffers) your magic will always do User's Rank.
    Code:

    [b]Burn:[/b] Lightning can get past 1000 V which is the burning point for skin, flesh, and other Insulators. If this is used on another player, the Lightning can scorch the user which will cause some extra damage. Keep in mind that this only applies to mages of User Rank or Below.
    Burn Damage is PER ATTACK!!, not per post.
    [b]Burn Damage Chart:[/b]
    [list][i]D Rank:[/i] 1 D rank
    [i]C Rank:[/i] 1 C Rank
    [i]B Rank:[/i] 1 C & 1/2 D Rank
    [i]A Rank:[/i] 1 B rank & 1/2 C Rank
    [i]S Rank & H Rank:[/i] 2 A rank

    That will be suffice enough, that gives extra damage per attack, provided the mage is Your Rank and below. If any higher, you WILL NOT have a Burn Effect.

    Copy and paste that into your abilities, and take the damage chart off of your description. While Night may be a veteran member and have lightning capabilities, that chart is for RP wise only which wont be useful come here soon.


    Strengths:

    • His magic is especially strong in offense
    • Has quite good supplimentary use, for examble coating himself by an aura to enchance the speed to move faster by the force it puts out.
    • It is quite good versus water and metal



    Weaknesses:

    • The Main Elemental weaknesses are Earth and Wood.
    • considdered a nuisance by other people who aren't quite fond of electricity since they either got shocked by him or are just scared of getting shocked so he is therefor avoided by them.
    • Lacks alot of defensive use caused by thordurs imagination and his lack of skill
    • The earth element can completely force thordur to fall back if he doesn't have a external weapon, so he hardly ever fights opponents with earth magic due to his lack of skill


    Abilities/Powers:

    • Extremely fast reflexes
    • very fast movement speed
    • can redirect energyflow into a substance Like an empty lacrima or something similar



    Spells:


    Name: Lightning bolt
    Rank: D
    Type: Lightning
    Description: Summons a bolt of lightning from the heavens to strike a target enemy, people see as a bolt of lightning is fired from the palms of my hands, it can tear through fire(depending on rank) with other types of magic it causes an explosion from the spell collision.
    Strengths:

    • Can knock people over from the force of the explosion of the lightning hitting nearby area,
    • Can have people black out, light to heavy shock damage,
    • Super heats the spot it strikes.
      Weaknesses:
    • Redirected to nearest metal object,
    • Goes in a straight line,
    • Can be avoided by moving to the side/above/below,
    • Wind magic can redirect the lightning
      Cooldown: 1 post



    (Dr stein/nightken allowed me to copy his lightning bolt.)


    also if possible i want to be able to create spells later on, Using the remaining two slots If not then it doesn't really matter

    Other than that it looks good. I do hope you go back through it and try to be more descriptive thought, cause it would surely help all of us out.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    C H A R A C T E R ||| M A G I C ||| T H E M E ||| B A T T L E   T H E M E |||B A N K

    Lightning magic, [Ready] 0dsc51s_zps85ba2000
    Hodor
    Hodor

    VIP- Player 
    Lineage : Knight of Swords
    Position : None
    Posts : 79
    Cosmic Coins : 90
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 27
    Mentor : Empty vacuums of space
    Experience : 350

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Lightning Magic
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Lightning magic, [Ready] Empty Re: Lightning magic, [Ready]

    Post by Hodor 5th September 2014, 3:13 pm

    bump


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    I hear...
    My victim's screams as they feed my insanity.
    I see...
    The victim as they lie on the table, staining their clothes and hair in a cardinal pool of blood.
    I taste...
    The rush of insanity as it holds me in its relentless grasp and pushes me to cut my victim's flesh till they cease their screaming.
    I smell...
    The smoldering of the blood that slowly bakes and dries in the intense lights overhead.
    I feel...
    Like this one victim will be enough, and I must continue to kill to feed this blood lust welling up inside of me.
    Kari
    Kari

    Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Spirit of Corruption
    Position : None
    Posts : 348
    Guild : Sabertooth
    Cosmic Coins : 3
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 30
    Mentor : Hakurou

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Spectral Make
    Second Skill: Ice Make
    Third Skill:

    Lightning magic, [Ready] Empty Re: Lightning magic, [Ready]

    Post by Kari 5th September 2014, 4:01 pm

    Lightning magic, [Ready] 60ebcfdb-7335-4109-b64a-4030f4766e3c_zps138cd714


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    C H A R A C T E R ||| M A G I C ||| T H E M E ||| B A T T L E   T H E M E |||B A N K

    Lightning magic, [Ready] 0dsc51s_zps85ba2000
    avatar
    Guest
    Guest

    Lightning magic, [Ready] Empty Re: Lightning magic, [Ready]

    Post by Guest 18th September 2014, 11:36 am

    Unlocked for C-rank additions.
    Hodor
    Hodor

    VIP- Player 
    Lineage : Knight of Swords
    Position : None
    Posts : 79
    Cosmic Coins : 90
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 27
    Mentor : Empty vacuums of space
    Experience : 350

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Lightning Magic
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Lightning magic, [Ready] Empty Re: Lightning magic, [Ready]

    Post by Hodor 18th September 2014, 12:18 pm

    dordur wrote:spells added
    C rank Spells:


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    I hear...
    My victim's screams as they feed my insanity.
    I see...
    The victim as they lie on the table, staining their clothes and hair in a cardinal pool of blood.
    I taste...
    The rush of insanity as it holds me in its relentless grasp and pushes me to cut my victim's flesh till they cease their screaming.
    I smell...
    The smoldering of the blood that slowly bakes and dries in the intense lights overhead.
    I feel...
    Like this one victim will be enough, and I must continue to kill to feed this blood lust welling up inside of me.

      Current date/time is 22nd November 2024, 3:14 pm