Fairy Tail RP

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    Hiroko

    HirokoD
    HirokoD

    Player 
    Lineage : Truth
    Position : None
    Posts : 245
    Guild : Nightmare
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 325

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Art of the Younger Ones
    Second Skill: N/A
    Third Skill:

    Hiroko Empty Hiroko

    Post by HirokoD 30th March 2014, 5:48 pm

    Name: Hiroko
    Gender: Male
    Age: 20
    Birthday: September/18th
    Sexuality: straight
    Special Characteristics: Non special characteristics

    Personality: Outside of battle: He is an extremely relaxed person; he doesn’t really care about most of the things that happen around him. He is very lazy and prefers to sleep than other things such as work, go outside and even eat. Even if he doesn’t really matter about almost everything, he does believe the world is getting worse and worse every day because of the people, that’s why he also is very personal with he’s stuff, he doesn’t lend them to anybody. He likes to help a lot and does what he cans to help other people before helping him in any way. He is also very enthusiastic, as he knows the world is getting worst, he does the best to see the world in different way, in a nicer way, and helps other people to see it like that too, that way people around him is happier, and that’s what makes him happy. He doesn’t like to talk about his past and never asks about someone’s past either. He is always smiling to help him seeing the world better, he was never afraid of the truth, but he does prefer to see the world as a nice and peaceful place. He doesn’t really like to battle, but he will do anything, except something that could harm a friend, to keep himself alive and to have a good life if possible. As he doesn’t remember having biologic parents, he smiles each time he sees a kid with his father smiling and sometimes cries a bit. He also is very emotional and sentimental. He usually has the bad “habit”, if you can call it like that, of saying things in the most uncomfortable moments, and he can’t keep a secret or at least not that easily. And last, he gets comfortable very easily meaning he could easily sleep, for example, in many places.
    Inside of battle: He cares too much of other people in battle, his overprotective as maybe an older brother could act. He pressures his self to protect other people and always tries to take control of the battle trying to involve as less people as possible in the battle meaning he doesn’t like to be in big teams, mostly in teams of two or three persons. He is may be a good leader if you see it in a sort of way, he never sacrifices lifes and never leaves people behind him and always thinks in other people first. Each time he can help or do it alone, he will take the chance. He is a bit solitary during missions but outside, he is very social and talkative. During battles, he pressures his self to think and as he is very smart he can make many good plans. In battle, he also is not very serious either, he can take time talking to his enemy or enemy’s and can even get to the point of laughing or socializing with the enemy if his not aggressive with Hiroko’s friends.
    Likes:
    Talking: He loves talking with any person, with people he knows or he doesn’t, and can take much time to stop or to remember what he was doing before.
    Order: He loves being ordered, and never leaves something dropped in his room, guild etc.
    Eat: He loves to eat anything (anything healthy to eat), he has a big appetite and can eat all day, especially cake, cake is his favorite.
    Dislikes:
    Risk his friend: He doesn’t like to risk his friends in anything, missions, battles, etc.
    Working: He doesn’t like to work, he would easily prefer to be in his bed sleeping all day, but he knows it’s necessary to work.
    Pessimist persons: He does the best to see the world in a nice way, so he hates when someone just destroys his illusion.
    Motivations:
    Friends: He just can’t let down his friends, he fills that if he lets them down, he will fail and ruin all his life.
    To live: He just likes to know if he does this, he will keep leaving, that gives him power to continue.
    His bed: The last one is that, he always knows that when he finishes something, he will have his bed waiting in his room.
    Fears:
    Death: He is afraid of the death. He is afraid of dying.
    Flying: He is a bit afraid of the heights, but he is very afraid of flying.
    Loneliness: He is afraid of being alone, but not being alone once, he is afraid of being alone forever or for a long, long time.

    General Appearance


    Height: 1.9 meters
    Weight: like 80 kg
    Hair: Brown hair that goes down to the neck in the back part and in front some hair reaches the nose and some others get only to the upper part of the eyes.
    Eyes: Brown
    Skin Tone: light
    Appearance: He usually uses a white shirt and some jeans. The shirt has neck and long sleeves. And he sometimes also wears a blue jacket.

    Guild/Council

    Guild:Eclipse soul
    Tattoo: In his right side upper back, near his shoulder. It's Blue
    Rank: D


    Last edited by HirokoD on 6th April 2014, 7:01 am; edited 2 times in total
    Godlike Frederik
    Godlike Frederik
    The Forsaken

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- 11 Sinner- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Apex of Darkness
    Position : None
    Posts : 2972
    Guild : Errings Rising
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 258,417

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Plague Craft
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Hiroko Empty Re: Hiroko

    Post by Godlike Frederik 3rd April 2014, 5:04 am

    Allright looking good so far, you got actually got everything covered. However before I can go and approve this, there are a few things that need to be fixed. Nothing major. But just somethings to tidy this app up.

    First of all is this part:

    Likes:Talking: He loves talking with any person, with people he knows or he doesn’t, and can take much time to stop or to remember what he was doing before.
    Order: He loves being ordered, and never leaves something dropped in he’s room, guild etc.
    Eat: He loves to eat anything(anything healthy to eat), he has a big appetite and can eat all day, specially cake, cake is he’s favorite.
    Dislikes:Risk he’s friend: He doesn’t like to risk he’s friends in anything, missions, battles, etc.
    Working: He doesn’t like to work, he would easily prefer to be in he’s bed sleeping all day, but he knows it’s necessary to work.
    Pessimist persons: He does the best to see the world in a nice way, so he hates when someone just destroys he’s illusion

    It is a bit hard to read for the staff, and in order for us the grade the better we need an app that is clear and neat. So it would be better to make it look like this:

    Likes:
    -Talking: He loves talking with any person, with people he knows or he doesn’t, and can take much time to stop or to remember what he was doing before.
    -Order: He loves being ordered, and never leaves something dropped in he’s room, guild etc.
    -Eat: He loves to eat anything(anything healthy to eat), he has a big appetite and can eat all day, specially cake, cake is he’s favorite.

    Dislikes:
    -Risk he’s friend: He doesn’t like to risk he’s friends in anything, missions, battles, etc.
    -Working: He doesn’t like to work, he would easily prefer to be in he’s bed sleeping all day, but he knows it’s necessary to work.
    -Pessimist persons: He does the best to see the world in a nice way, so he hates when someone just destroys he’s illusion
    See what I did there? I used space between each section, and put your all your dislikes/likes as list. If you can do this through your entire app, especially with your likes/dislikes/fears and motivations it would be a great help.


    Alright secondly we are going to take a look at your grammar, every here and there you made a small word mistake. Like:
    Dislikes:Risk he’s friend: He doesn’t like to risk he’s friends in anything, missions, battles, etc.
    Sometimes you have put 'he's' in front of words while it should be 'his'

    It is just a small grammar mistake, but it can make it difficult for those who you are going to role-play with. So if you fix those minor mistakes through your app I can approve it for you.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    HirokoD
    HirokoD

    Player 
    Lineage : Truth
    Position : None
    Posts : 245
    Guild : Nightmare
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 325

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Art of the Younger Ones
    Second Skill: N/A
    Third Skill:

    Hiroko Empty Re: Hiroko

    Post by HirokoD 5th April 2014, 6:36 am

    OK, im done xD, thankes


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Bank

    Hiroko's Theme
    Godlike Frederik
    Godlike Frederik
    The Forsaken

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- 11 Sinner- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Apex of Darkness
    Position : None
    Posts : 2972
    Guild : Errings Rising
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 258,417

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Plague Craft
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Hiroko Empty Re: Hiroko

    Post by Godlike Frederik 6th April 2014, 12:51 am

    You still have some of those grammar mistakes in your personality, if you fix the he's that are supposed to be his in there. You are good to go


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    HirokoD
    HirokoD

    Player 
    Lineage : Truth
    Position : None
    Posts : 245
    Guild : Nightmare
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 325

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Art of the Younger Ones
    Second Skill: N/A
    Third Skill:

    Hiroko Empty Re: Hiroko

    Post by HirokoD 6th April 2014, 7:05 am

    I think i corrected all


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Bank

    Hiroko's Theme
    Godlike Frederik
    Godlike Frederik
    The Forsaken

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- 11 Sinner- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Apex of Darkness
    Position : None
    Posts : 2972
    Guild : Errings Rising
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 258,417

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Plague Craft
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Hiroko Empty Re: Hiroko

    Post by Godlike Frederik 6th April 2014, 8:48 am

    allright, approved


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Godlike Frederik
    Godlike Frederik
    The Forsaken

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- 11 Sinner- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Apex of Darkness
    Position : None
    Posts : 2972
    Guild : Errings Rising
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 258,417

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Plague Craft
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Hiroko Empty Re: Hiroko

    Post by Godlike Frederik 6th April 2014, 8:48 am

    allright, approved


    _____________________________________________________________________________________


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