Oh, the joys of being a mage!, Living thrilling adventures, getting nifty treasure, becoming a hero, and making NANKAMA!!... The lives of mages were full of wonders and excitement that made Hugh Hefner's look like a cycle of never-ending despair only interrupted by random intervals of unspeakable torture to despair about in comparison. Truly existence was 100% made of awesome guaranteed when you could do Abracadabra and stuff!
'... I wish so hard I knew where god's customer attention office is right now'.
The waiting line extended before Doppio endlessly. So long was it that it reached the outskirts of Clover Town. This would already be hellish if it wasn't for the fact that the passport office was on Crocus... However, Doppio wasn't all too worried since he had been told by the guy before him that he had been told by the guy before him that the line started to move pretty fast three days in when, haunted by hunger and thirst and the need to keep their place in the line, people started resorting to cannibalism. But hey, he was a mage, not only he was going to survive, but he'd also get to keep the jewels and gold teeth of his victims, so guess he WOULD get the nifty treasure after all!
"Hey"
'Man, I've only been 20 min here and my feet already hurt D:'
"Hey you!"
'I wonder if what eating people's hearts really does give you their courage...'
"Hey boy!!"
"Hmmm?", said Doppio as he looked back... And then up. Really fucking up.
Before him was the largest man he had seen. He was all clad in heavy armour and whatever was not, was covered in body hair so thick that it had surely developed an ecosystem as complex as the amazonic rainforest (the rain being substituted by sweat, judging from how the man smelt), oh, and, btw, he had a sword which he used as a short sword even though it was twice as large as Doppio himself. "Ohh?", exclaimed the man as he crouched (action that took him three minutes), "Sorry, I thought you were a boy but I'm actually behind a pretty, cute girl", said beary loud the man-mountain.
Doppio blushed embarrassed, "Err... Actually, you were right, I'm a dude..."
"Yes, a very pretty girl indeed. We are gonna be very good friends, right lady?", he replied with a lewd grin. "Do you want to know a secret?... Everything's proportional."
A cold drop of cold sweat ran through Doppio's skin.
'Mamma mia.'
--*A week afterwards*--
"Next please"
A blood-soaked Doppio, still clad with a skin that looked like a shag carpet, only with human hair, came in.
"Name?"
"Doppio"
"Doppio what?"
"Euuuhh...", he meditated, as he tried to find an answer, it was then when the memories that had resurfaced during the battle in Era came back to him. "... Zeppeli...", he tentatively said, "I think my surname is Zeppeli"
"... You think?"
"Well, you see, I suffer of amnesia."
"Ah, I see. That's pretty common around here you know?, One out of every five".
"Uh-huh, I did not"
"Very well, Sr. Zeppeli, are you affiliated to any guild?, Any destination in particular?, Any criminal record?"
"Yeah, I'm a member of Blue Pegasus and I've asked for a special permission to enter Pergrande... And, well, I sort of committed murder on my way here. Several times."
"Meh, there's not even a fine for that anymore. Plus, we can always pull a Deus ex Machina out of our arses to seemingly resurrect everyone (except for Harland lol) and keep this boring status quo", said the Rune Knight as he signed the papers and started stamping the appropriate seals. "B-but the screams, the groans, the moans, I still hear them.", he replied, pale as a ghost as he trembled, holding on thigh to the cape he had crafted himself, "Dude, not my problem.", he replied as he handed the passport to Doppio, "Now, next!", he ordered.
And with that, Doppio left the office wading like a duck, leaving it free for another tortured, bloodstained survivor of the passport craze.
'... I wish so hard I knew where god's customer attention office is right now'.
The waiting line extended before Doppio endlessly. So long was it that it reached the outskirts of Clover Town. This would already be hellish if it wasn't for the fact that the passport office was on Crocus... However, Doppio wasn't all too worried since he had been told by the guy before him that he had been told by the guy before him that the line started to move pretty fast three days in when, haunted by hunger and thirst and the need to keep their place in the line, people started resorting to cannibalism. But hey, he was a mage, not only he was going to survive, but he'd also get to keep the jewels and gold teeth of his victims, so guess he WOULD get the nifty treasure after all!
"Hey"
'Man, I've only been 20 min here and my feet already hurt D:'
"Hey you!"
'I wonder if what eating people's hearts really does give you their courage...'
"Hey boy!!"
"Hmmm?", said Doppio as he looked back... And then up. Really fucking up.
Before him was the largest man he had seen. He was all clad in heavy armour and whatever was not, was covered in body hair so thick that it had surely developed an ecosystem as complex as the amazonic rainforest (the rain being substituted by sweat, judging from how the man smelt), oh, and, btw, he had a sword which he used as a short sword even though it was twice as large as Doppio himself. "Ohh?", exclaimed the man as he crouched (action that took him three minutes), "Sorry, I thought you were a boy but I'm actually behind a pretty, cute girl", said beary loud the man-mountain.
Doppio blushed embarrassed, "Err... Actually, you were right, I'm a dude..."
"Yes, a very pretty girl indeed. We are gonna be very good friends, right lady?", he replied with a lewd grin. "Do you want to know a secret?... Everything's proportional."
A cold drop of cold sweat ran through Doppio's skin.
'Mamma mia.'
--*A week afterwards*--
"Next please"
A blood-soaked Doppio, still clad with a skin that looked like a shag carpet, only with human hair, came in.
"Name?"
"Doppio"
"Doppio what?"
"Euuuhh...", he meditated, as he tried to find an answer, it was then when the memories that had resurfaced during the battle in Era came back to him. "... Zeppeli...", he tentatively said, "I think my surname is Zeppeli"
"... You think?"
"Well, you see, I suffer of amnesia."
"Ah, I see. That's pretty common around here you know?, One out of every five".
"Uh-huh, I did not"
"Very well, Sr. Zeppeli, are you affiliated to any guild?, Any destination in particular?, Any criminal record?"
"Yeah, I'm a member of Blue Pegasus and I've asked for a special permission to enter Pergrande... And, well, I sort of committed murder on my way here. Several times."
"Meh, there's not even a fine for that anymore. Plus, we can always pull a Deus ex Machina out of our arses to seemingly resurrect everyone (except for Harland lol) and keep this boring status quo", said the Rune Knight as he signed the papers and started stamping the appropriate seals. "B-but the screams, the groans, the moans, I still hear them.", he replied, pale as a ghost as he trembled, holding on thigh to the cape he had crafted himself, "Dude, not my problem.", he replied as he handed the passport to Doppio, "Now, next!", he ordered.
And with that, Doppio left the office wading like a duck, leaving it free for another tortured, bloodstained survivor of the passport craze.
