Last edited by DelvicGrimoire on 30th September 2014, 6:39 pm; edited 79 times in total
Volumina Umbra- Occulta de Elysium
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- Post n°1
Volumina Umbra- Occulta de Elysium
N/A
Last edited by DelvicGrimoire on 30th September 2014, 6:39 pm; edited 79 times in total
TacticalFallacyThe Undefined Formula
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Alright, let us begin.
General:
Put all strengths, weaknesses in bullet points. I have edited the first part of your application to give you an example. Do the same in the spells. Also, bold all of the header names like "Name", "Rank" etc.
Also, abilities are not what your spells can do, but are referring to any innate abilities that simply possessing the magic grants to you. Like say the Living Magic stimulates your cells and give you regeneration of minor wounds and the stemming of blood loss from larger ones. These are the sort of things that don't require exertion of your magic. So remove the current four abilities under there, because they are only possible through your spells. It is perfectly all right to have no abilities at all.
Also, you have four available D-rank spell slots, but you are only giving three spells.
Spells:
First of all, we don't allow spells that get stronger depending on the conditions. We have a clear rank-system that you must follow and since the spells are in D-rank spell slots, they are D-rank spell slots. The only way to have multi-ranked version of spells is that you use another higher-ranked spell slot to create another version of the same spell, just with a higher rank and the appropriate increase in power. So remove all that "depend" stuff in your ranks and just replace it with D-rank.
Also, all your spells are very broad, general and attempt to apply to everything but as a result, they become overpowered, especially with Magicae Animant which seems to be able to apply to all spells regardless of rank. Finally, they all need a cool-down and duration(if no duration, then say instant-use). Only when you are done with all this general stuff, will I go down into the specific spells.
General:
Put all strengths, weaknesses in bullet points. I have edited the first part of your application to give you an example. Do the same in the spells. Also, bold all of the header names like "Name", "Rank" etc.
Also, abilities are not what your spells can do, but are referring to any innate abilities that simply possessing the magic grants to you. Like say the Living Magic stimulates your cells and give you regeneration of minor wounds and the stemming of blood loss from larger ones. These are the sort of things that don't require exertion of your magic. So remove the current four abilities under there, because they are only possible through your spells. It is perfectly all right to have no abilities at all.
Also, you have four available D-rank spell slots, but you are only giving three spells.
Spells:
First of all, we don't allow spells that get stronger depending on the conditions. We have a clear rank-system that you must follow and since the spells are in D-rank spell slots, they are D-rank spell slots. The only way to have multi-ranked version of spells is that you use another higher-ranked spell slot to create another version of the same spell, just with a higher rank and the appropriate increase in power. So remove all that "depend" stuff in your ranks and just replace it with D-rank.
Also, all your spells are very broad, general and attempt to apply to everything but as a result, they become overpowered, especially with Magicae Animant which seems to be able to apply to all spells regardless of rank. Finally, they all need a cool-down and duration(if no duration, then say instant-use). Only when you are done with all this general stuff, will I go down into the specific spells.
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First Skill: Ten No Kichi
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DelvicGrimoire wrote:Primary Magic: Living Magic
Secondary Magic: N/A
Caster or Holder: Caster
Description: Delvic studies the Dark Art of Living Magic, as expected he ignites the spark of life within the inanimate forces around him, with this he creates "demons" which he controls. Delvic hides the true nature of his magic by wielding these powers in material form replicating various forms of Holder Magic. The many forms and abilities that any one force can take depends on the caster, thus making it a highly versatile style of magic.
(Information on created demons is located: https://www.fairytail-rp.com/t4923-kingdom-bank-of-fiore-account45122293 )
Strengths:
-Versatility
-Lack of Drain on Magic Power
-Easily Concealed
Weaknesses:
-Control Cost, for each Demon active count as if you had 60% less movement speed.(reduce by 12% each rank you gain above D, and add 10% for each rank increase of the "demon")
-Creatures created are independent and require strong willpower to maintain control over, newer creatures often are wild and unlikely to obey attacking their creator and their allies as much as enemies.
-Illegal! Add the weakness that demon slayer magic is more effective against them...they are demons after all
Abilities/Powers:
-N/A
Name: Magicae Animant Infirmor
Rank: D-Rank
Type: Dark Art, Living
Description: Through gesture and a slight wave, a nearby force animates and refuses to dissipate, becoming a creature of equivalent intelligence to a dog, and gaining a form based upon the desire of the caster, it may gain power based upon its original form,(D-rank power, drawn from other approved magics). What are the limits of the form you can create
Strengths:
-Versatility
-Creation/Birth
Weaknesses:
-May only be used on forces up to "weak" magical category.
-Once out of control the creature may attack the caster and allies or enemy at random (50-50 chance).
Duration/Cooldowns instant-use, 7 posts.
Name: Vincientes Verbum
Rank: D-Rank
Type: Dark Art, Sealing
Description: An animated creature, "demon", may be bound into an inanimate form and sealed there until released. This object does gains some measure of the power of the sealed "demon" however. [color=teal]You are only going to be able to bind D rank demons.
Strengths:
-Creation of psudo-magical items.
-Using the objects imitates various magical abilities (of Holder type).
Weakness:
-Exhausting, this technique will easily simplify the process of making and maintaining a private force but each time it is cast it consumes 70% Magic Power from the caster, which does not regenerate, (regardless of reserves) So...it consumes 70% of your total remaining magic power...and this doesn't regenerate...ever? That seems...insane. Maybe a much slower regen? And i'd say a lot lower than this
Duration/Cooldowns instant-use, 1 day, (however many posts that is).
Name: Verum Nomen
Rank: D-Rank
Type: Dark Art, Release
Description: Using it's name, an animated creature, or "demon" may be released from an inanimate form and contracted in a fashion that imitates the abilities of a celestial wizard, (although its more dangerous to contract with "demons").
Strengths:
-Easy, simplifies the cost of controlling "demons".
-Versatility, allows practitioners of living magic to apply summoning rules instead of usual "Control Cost".
Weaknesses:
-This is very complicated process since demons are more dangerous, so contracts must be carefully followed and created to avoid (or create) loop holes.
Duration/Cooldowns instant-use, 2 post.
Name: Anthropophagos
Rank: D-Rank
Type: Dark Art, Support
Description: Driving them with your power you cause two "demons" to consume one another, forming a slightly more powerful creature (albeit harder to control).
Strengths:
-Increases the strength of you allied demons and removes some stress from yourself.
Weaknesses:
-Demons who have undergone this process become harder to control (raising the control cost by 50%) and are more likely to attack you once free, rather than the original 50-50 between you and your enemy/ to 70-30 you or your enemy.
Duration/Cooldowns instant-use, 3 post.
I would like to say that your magic is incredibly confusing with all these various percentages. I am really unsure of how most of this works. Could you please go over it and clarify it. I've made a few comments so far.
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Edits made, people consulted, ready to go again
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First Skill: Ten No Kichi
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DelvicGrimoire wrote:Primary Magic: Living Magic
Secondary Magic: N/A
Caster or Holder: Caster
Description: Delvic studies the Dark Art of Living Magic, as expected he ignites the spark of life within the inanimate objects around him, with this he creates "demons" which he controls. Delvic hides the true nature of his magic by wielding these powers in material form replicating various forms of Holder Magic. The many forms that any one object can take depends on the caster, thus making it a highly versatile style of magic.
(Information on created demons is located: https://www.fairytail-rp.com/t4923-kingdom-bank-of-fiore-account45122293 ) I've just read through this. Does this mean essentially you could have a limitless amount of demons to call up. If so then this will not fly. It would be insanely op. Whilst I am fine with you being able to create a demon and seal it temporarily via your first and second spell, and then release it with the third. I feel that any demons created by this method should only exist for that thread. To have demons you can regularly summon you would need those demons as actual spells.
Strengths:
-Versatility
-Lack of Drain on Magic Power
-Easily Concealed
Weaknesses:
-Control Cost, when a Demon is active you physically suffer as if you were at 0% Magic Power(increase Magic Power by 12% for each rank you gain above D, and subtract 10% for each additional "demon", with an additional 10% per rank) at 0% magic power? I'd say that's a bit extreme particularly with all the negative effects you get for being at 0%. Especially when some of your spells already cripple your magic power. Say 70% or something. So you lose 30% magic power as the base.
-Creations are susceptible to Demon Slayer Magic, (taking an added 25% damage)
-Illegal!
Abilities/Powers:
-N/A
Name: Magicae Animant Infirmor
Rank: D-Rank
Type: Dark Art, Living
Description: Through gesture and a slight wave, a nearby object animates and takes on personality, becoming a creature of equivalent intelligence to a dog, and gaining a form based upon the desire of the caster, it may gain power based the magical properties of its original form.(D-rank power, drawn from other approved magics). The physical form created may not exceed a total mass of 70 kilograms.
Strengths:
-Versatility
-Creation/Birth
Weaknesses:
-May only be used on objects up to "weak" magical category.
-Any creature that exceeds your "Control Cost" becomes "out of control" and the creature may attack the caster and allies or enemy at random (50-50 chance).
Duration/Cooldowns instant-use, 7 posts.
Name: Vincientes Verbum
Rank: D-Rank
Type: Dark Art, Sealing
Description: An animated creature, "demon", may be bound into an inanimate form and sealed there until released. This object does gains some measure of the power of the sealed "demon" however.
Strengths:
-Creation of psudo-magical items.
-Using the objects imitates various magical abilities (of Holder type).
Weakness:
-Exhausting, this technique will easily simplify the process of making and maintaining a private force but each time it is cast it consumes 40% Magic Power from the caster, which does not regenerate until 1 day passes, (regardless of reserves)
Duration/Cooldowns instant-use, 12 posts
Name: Verum Nomen
Rank: D-Rank
Type: Dark Art, Release
Description: Using it's name, an animated creature, or "demon" may be released from an inanimate form and contracted in a fashion that imitates the abilities of a celestial wizard, (although its more dangerous to contract with "demons").
Strengths:
-Easy, simplifies the cost of controlling "demons".
-Versatility, allows practitioners of living magic to apply summoning rules instead of usual "Control Cost".
Weaknesses:
-This is very complicated process since demons are more dangerous, so contracts must be carefully followed and created to avoid (or create) loop holes.
Duration/Cooldowns instant-use, 2 post.
Name: Anthropophagos
Rank: D-Rank
Type: Dark Art, Support
Description: Driving them with your power you cause two "demons" to consume one another, forming a slightly more powerful creature (albeit harder to control).
Strengths:
-Increases the strength of you allied demons and removes some stress from yourself.
-Any "demon" effected by this spell twice raises 1 rank.(D-C,C-B,etc.)
Weaknesses:
-Demons who have undergone this process become harder to control (raising the Control Cost subtraction by 50%) A bit extreme. Providing you can only combine D ranks with this spell i'd say that a 10% increase would be fine. Should you wish to combine higher level creatures you will need to rank up this spell when you rank up.
-They are more likely to attack you if "out of control", changing to a 70-30% chance that they attack you.
Duration/Cooldowns instant-use, 3 post.
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I hate to continuously ranking up spells the first one is bad enough, but notes... the 0% is a balance to try and equal out actual physical side effects of creating life, second, would I be able to pass it if I could only "keep" demons constructed from already magical items and all the others died, after the thread, so I can take one, keep it as a "summon" and the others are just killables. Would that work out better, limiting it that I can only have one "continuous" demon per thread. (no not created, but brought along)
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- Post n°10
Re: Volumina Umbra- Occulta de Elysium
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Rosetta Crawford- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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First Skill: Ten No Kichi
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- Post n°11
Re: Volumina Umbra- Occulta de Elysium
DelvicGrimoire wrote:I hate to continuously ranking up spells the first one is bad enough, but notes... the 0% is a balance to try and equal out actual physical side effects of creating life, second, would I be able to pass it if I could only "keep" demons constructed from already magical items and all the others died, after the thread, so I can take one, keep it as a "summon" and the others are just killables. Would that work out better, limiting it that I can only have one "continuous" demon per thread. (no not created, but brought along)
Ranking it up is the only way you will be allowed to do more powerful things with the spell.
You can have magical weapons that have demons sealed inside them which you could then unleash. However, these would be properly registered weapons and wouldn't be able to be changed without registering them.
You are free to have spells that summon a demon that you have defined and that demon can have up to two spells (normally one active and one passive).
You will not be able to create a demon in a thread using your first spell and then take it away however. The only way I could see that working is if you had a specific object which has a demon inside that can be replaced by a new demon, then the object updated. However, you would need to get the weapon re-approved EVERY time and that is too much hassle for the staff and having to define it again and again is likely too much hassle for you.
Your magic seems like something different to living magic.
Living magic does not seal away demons, but creates them from structures or objects so for example turns a simple flute into a powerful sound demon (aka Lullaby). If you want living magic i'd focus on that.
Let's use Lullaby as an example. He is a demon of sound and so in order to create him (which would only be temporary) you would likely need a sound related object. So for example you could carry a flute. This flute you could temporarily imbue it with living magic to do an attack that Lullaby might do (e.g. a powerful sound blast). However, with more magic you'd summon the demon itself. So you'd need a relevant object or a lot of creativity (e.g. you could say the wind blowing through a window is sound and use your magic to create Lullaby from that)
Based on this application it seems you want a forbidden magic, but want to keep it hidden, which is good for plot. I feel that living is not the way to go. If you want we can discuss this through PMs to try and gain a magic that you like and suits the way you want to go.
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- Post n°12
Re: Volumina Umbra- Occulta de Elysium
I understand your concern but would like to stick to my guns. I like the idea of keeping his power a secret, but there are many ways to hide his power, but I can agree that I cant just run around getting as many powers as I wish, so I redefined it that each of his long term "demons" must be a magic item that I purchase or receive as a reward from a job or so on. Limiting me to things in RP, and limiting me by the weapon/object rules, (1 of each level, except "weak"). I also decided to not start out with "any" items what so ever as a balance.
BTW.
The flute was once just a tool for "murder by curse" at first, which means that it curses the target and causes it to die. After getting into dark mage Zeref's hands, he further developed it into a Magical flute, called "mass-curse murder magic" that is capable of putting a death curse on everyone who hears its melody except for the Caster.[4]
Copied from: the fairytail wiki/ lullaby (since it wouldn't let me post the actual link)
BTW.
The flute was once just a tool for "murder by curse" at first, which means that it curses the target and causes it to die. After getting into dark mage Zeref's hands, he further developed it into a Magical flute, called "mass-curse murder magic" that is capable of putting a death curse on everyone who hears its melody except for the Caster.[4]
Copied from: the fairytail wiki/ lullaby (since it wouldn't let me post the actual link)
Guest- Guest
- Post n°13
Re: Volumina Umbra- Occulta de Elysium
Yeah but realize that Zeref never did half the shit he did canon here.
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- Post n°14
Re: Volumina Umbra- Occulta de Elysium
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Rosetta Crawford- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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First Skill: Ten No Kichi
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Third Skill:
- Post n°15
Re: Volumina Umbra- Occulta de Elysium
DelvicGrimoire wrote:Primary Magic: Living Magic
Secondary Magic: N/A
Caster or Holder: Caster
Description: Delvic studies the Dark Art of Living Magic, as expected he ignites the spark of life within the inanimate objects around him, with this he creates "demons" which he controls. Delvic hides the true nature of his magic by wielding these powers in material form replicating various forms of Holder Magic. The many forms that any one object can take depends on the caster, thus making it a highly versatile style of magic.
(Information on created demons is located: https://www.fairytail-rp.com/t4923-kingdom-bank-of-fiore-account45122293 )
Strengths:
-Versatility
-Lack of Drain on Magic Power
-Easily Concealed
Weaknesses:
-Control Cost, when a Demon is active you physically suffer as if you had lost 60% of your Magic Power(decrease Magic Power loss by by 12% for each rank you gain above D, and add 10% for each additional rank of "demon")
-Creations are susceptible to Demon Slayer Magic, (taking an added 50% damage)
-Illegal!
Abilities/Powers:
-N/A
Name: Magicae Animant Infirmor
Rank: D-Rank
Type: Dark Art, Living
Description: Through gesture and a slight wave, a nearby object animates and takes on personality, becoming a creature of equivalent intelligence to a dog, and gaining a form based upon the desire of the caster, it may gain power based the magical properties of its original form.(D-rank power, drawn from other approved magics). The physical form created may not exceed a total mass of 70 kilograms.
Strengths:
-Versatility
-Creation/Birth
Weaknesses:
-May only be used on objects up to "weak" magical category.
-Any creature that exceeds your "Control Cost" becomes "out of control" and the creature may attack the caster and allies or enemy at random (50-50% chance).
Duration/Cooldowns instant-use, 7 posts.
Special: Demons die at end of a thread unless created from a magical item, (you receive or own), these creatures sustain their own life force and are stored as magical items similar to celestial spirits.("Sealed Demons") This spell is fine. However, there are a few things to add. Firstly, i'd like you to add that a demon created by this can only take a certain amount of hits (four or five D ranks) before being destroyed. They are not invincible after all. I would also reduce the cooldown to only five posts as you have some major drawbacks that make it fair.
Name: Vincientes Verbum
Rank: D-Rank
Type: Dark Art, Sealing
Description: An animated creature, "demon", may be bound into an inanimate form and sealed there until released. This object does gains some measure of the power of the sealed "demon" however. Please add that even when a demon is sealed it will die at the end of the thread.
Strengths:
-Creation of psudo-magical items.
-Using the objects imitates various magical abilities (of Holder type).
Weakness:
-Exhausting, this technique consumes 20% Magic Power from the caster, which does not regenerate until 1 day passes, (regardless of reserves)
Duration/Cooldowns instant-use, 12 posts
Name: Verum Nomen
Rank: D-Rank
Type: Dark Art, Release
Description: Using it's name, an animated creature, or "demon" may be released from an inanimate form and contracted in a fashion that imitates the abilities of a celestial wizard, (although its more dangerous to contract with "demons").
Strengths:
-Easy, simplifies the cost of controlling "demons".
-Versatility, allows practitioners of living magic to apply summoning rules instead of usual "Control Cost".
Weaknesses:
-This is very complicated process since demons are more dangerous, so contracts must be carefully followed and created to avoid (or create) loop holes.
Duration/Cooldowns instant-use, 2 post.
Special: Only one such "Sealed Demons" may be carried on a casters person during any trip or adventure. Name given at the first post of the RP. This is not what we discussed. We discussed that you can have as many unsealable demons as you have weapons providing those weapons follow the rule. However, if you wish to give yourself this limit then do so. Furthermore, does this still allow you to unseal the demons you sealed using your second spell?
Name: Anthropophagos
Rank: D-Rank
Type: Dark Art, Support
Description: Driving them with your power you cause two "demons", of D-Rank, to consume one another, forming a slightly more powerful creature (albeit harder to control).
Strengths:
-Increases the strength of you allied demons and removes some stress from yourself.
Weaknesses:
-The increase is temporary, lasting 6 posts.
-They are more likely to attack you if "out of control", changing to a 70-30% chance that they attack you.
Duration/Cooldowns instant-use, 3 post. This last spell is fine
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- Post n°16
Re: Volumina Umbra- Occulta de Elysium
Thanks for the save there I hadn't noticed that I made them out to be invincible the thought never crossed my mind, the limitation on the holding of "sealed demons" I thought would keep it balanced, but I guess that I just need to ease off myself.
Thanks,
All Fixed
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Thanks,
All Fixed
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- Post n°17
Re: Volumina Umbra- Occulta de Elysium
It'll do I think
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- Post n°18
Re: Volumina Umbra- Occulta de Elysium
BUMP
(Please look at everything :D)
Delvic
(Please look at everything :D)
Delvic