by Samira Nassar 5th April 2022, 6:09 pm
- Misfortune Cookie:
Name:Misfortune CookieRank:WeakType:CookieProof of AcquisitionOctober IOTM 2019Description:Deep in a back alley, there was a restaurant that sold kebabs. The kebab-man had always ordered from the shop beside him for lunch, and every time he was disappointed with the fortune cookies meant to leave him smiling after a nice meal. The fortunes were terrible! So idealistic and fuzzy, they were simply no help at all and had no place in a world as difficult as this!
Looking to get a leg up on his neighbor, he thought that maybe he’d offer something a little different. Maybe a cookie that offered honest, realistic advice! He placed an order from a creepy magazine that appeared under his door, and within hours there was a box of black fortune cookies on his doorstep! Cracking one open to check it revealed a weird and ominous message, "You ate too much, and soon you’ll bloat. And now your head belongs to a goat!" and suddenly, it was true! At least they only last a few hours ...
Abilities:Name: Unfortunate FortuneDescription: As soon as someone cracks the black cookie, its hidden slip of paper with strange words bestows some sort of unlucky but ultimately harmless curse on the reader. Side effects usually include changes in skin color, body parts changing to animal counterparts, shrinking and growing, tasting colors, coughing bubbles, etc. Great for pranks and chaos.
- Dandle:
Name:DandleRank:WeakType:CandleProof of AcquisitionOctober IOTM 2019Description: A dangerous candle, also known as a Dandle. It slipped its way into your pocket when you passed an occult store. It always seems to pop up in bags and pockets you didn’t put it into, or maybe with some other harmless candles. It’s not recommended you light it unless you love being scared witless, which is unfortunate since it can light itself ...
Abilities: Name: Black LightDescription: Lighting this candle will suck every bit of light out of a room or a 10m radius! The pitch darkness caused also contains shrieks, cold spots, and the general sense of being haunted. Enjoy!
- BamBOOzle:
Name:BamBOOzleRank:WeakType:GhostProof of AcquisitionOctober IOTM 2019Description:A little BamBOOzle is a little ghost in a ghosty cloak, usually cuddling a OwOky SpOwOky pumpkin. Once one decides to haunt someone, they can rest assured they will never be alone. They adore trivia and useless facts and are 100% harmless.
Abilities:Name: BamBOOzledDescription: This little guy pops up at random and peppers incorrect facts and information into their trivia to prank their hauntee, as well as just generally tries for jumpscares. They also move things around and hide them as tricks.
- SUE:
Name: Sue (Strange Ugly Extraterrestrial)Grade: WeakType: ItemProof of Acquisition:October IOTM 2020Description:Once upon a time, an author who liked to write really weird and scary stuff came up with a theory that discovering the unfathomable truths of reality that he felt lay hidden beneath a fragile shell of normalcy would slowly fracture the fragile human mind. Though not one of his quotes, the saying “Truth is stranger than fiction” is a fitting and simple description, if you tainted it with the subtle horrors of the unknown and unknowable. Most people just explain away things that don’t make sense with science or just don’t think about it.
But of course, there’s always that one jackass that ruins it for everyone! On that note, behold, a horror of cosmic reality! It’s 100% authentic and 100% has no explanation other than “Well, this exists! Have fun wrapping your brain around this one!”, which it doesn’t actually say anywhere. No, all you get is a glass bottle with a baby ... something inside. It’s like Cthulhu’s red-headed stepson with a really ugly Kraken or something. I guess if you look at it sideways (while very drunk) it might even be cute. No matter what you do, though, you have to accept that it’s real and let that just warp you with all the implications.
Abilities:Name: Well, That Exists...Description: So now you have this little jar with this horrible white mess of tentacles, teeth, and rather disturbing red eyes dotted everywhere. I can’t think of a single practical purpose for this. Apparently it’s just meant to haunt you by simply existing, which is fitting given the horrifyingly correct theory that “explains” it.
There’s been a few that have opened their bottles, despite seeing how horrible it is. Those people eventually went insane (quicker than everyone else), so their word should be taken with a grain of salt. One said he just high-tailed it back to space where it could do whatever it does out there (probably eating all the happiness in the universe or small stars or something). Another said he just slurped right into his ear and melded with his dreams to ruin sleep forever. Yet another said his was a sadistic twerp and liked to disappear into the world, only to reappear at a gigantic size at the worst times to try to fight him to the death! I heard he finally lost. I wonder if you could get it back in the bottle? Or is it like toothpaste ...? (The user must have OOC permission to use this ability on a player character, a player-owned NPC, or an Event NPC as well as associated magics belonging to those mentioned).
- Toxiban:
Name:ToxibanGrade:WeakType:ItemProof of Acquisition:October IOTM 2022Description:Feeling stressed? Has dealing with jobs, ridiculous people, world events, and too much social media shoveled upsetti spaghetti into your brain and made your ridges feel sore and irritable? Are you raging about really asinine things as if you have any control over the world and other people’s lives? Have you suddenly acquired several mental illnesses or, at least, the symptoms of them that you didn’t have before?
Is everything toxic, or is it you that has become toxic?
Use this special magic potion! It looks like a cute little fairy terrarium with grass, mushrooms, and moss and makes a great accessory to anyone’s belt or bag straps! Its size is magically adjustable to suit everyone’s needs. It never runs out, so you can use it as much as you like. You may thank the fairy Grizzlebizzle for making this item because, frankly, he’s just really annoyed with how annoying everyone is. You can pick one up at the store or you might find one he’s left for you if you’ve really gotten under his glittery, hive-covered skin.
Sometimes in life, you just need to touch some grass. You’ll feel better, trust Grizzlebizzle.
[Disclaimer: Not intended for consumption! Please do not swallow Toxiban. Harmful if swallowed. If ingested, take care not to jostle around and consult a doctor immediately. If the potion opens while ingested…well, you’ll know… Also, any outdoor allergies still apply :)]Abilities:Name: Touch GrassDescription: Popping the cork will cause wherever you are to suddenly be magically transformed into a nature-nut’s paradise! For a 20-meter radius around the user, mushrooms and trees and moss and grass and all things foresty will cover everything. The freshest air will tickle your cheeks and, if there’s no sky where you are, the illusion of one will appear with your preference between day, night, and the weather. You can take a moment to relax. Listen to the birds and crickets that may or may not be there. Let the grass detoxify you. Touch it real good before you put the cork back in and get back to living your hopefully more grounded life [The user must have OOC permission to use this ability on a player character, a player-owned NPC, or an Event NPC as well as associated magics belonging to those mentioned].
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![Master [1000]](https://i.imgur.com/AQXM4xC.png)
![Senior [500]](https://i.imgur.com/Nmfn8cD.png)
![Novice [250]](https://i.imgur.com/lrYlde6.png)
