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    Wait this isn't Pottery Barn...

    Crowlee
    Crowlee

    Player 
    Lineage : Blessed by the Fourth Wall
    Position : None
    Posts : 34
    Guild : Elysium
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 1200

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: #LifeHack
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Wait this isn't Pottery Barn... Empty Wait this isn't Pottery Barn...

    Post by Crowlee 11th June 2020, 5:51 pm




    HI!
    I'll be your guide!


    So this is what Sin was like. Wait no, this is slightly different. This is the… Elysium subforum. And Elysium is based in Sin. Okay, all caught up -- deep breath everyone, I’ve figured it out.

    Crowlee blinked in slight confusion, his devilish eyes wide with surprise and awe. It was a bit odd to the demonic spirit to be talking in the past tense, considering he was thinking and saying all the things he wanted to in the present tense. But apparently that was how these forum roleplay boards so who was he to judge? This was his first time being aware that he was even on such a thing and not back in the Other World.

    Crowlee came from the Other World, you see. That’s where he was born to an unloving mother and an even more unloving father. Then again they were both demons so that wasn’t that big of a surprise. But still a little bit of warmth (that wasn’t the heat from hellfire) would have been nice -- then maybe he wouldn’t have wound up such a despicable, hateful braggart. But, once more, that was probably exactly what they hoped would happen. After all, demons were far more interested in --

    “Jesus, could you monologue any longer? Just how many words are you trying to barf out in hopes of reaching a D rank job? How about I just go in there and introduce myself?” Crowlee said sarcastically, rolling his eyes and looking skyward. To any that would pass him by, they would probably think that he was some crazy person talking to the wind. But Crowlee knew better than that -- he could see past the great sheet that had been cast over all of their eyes. And even as the words were continuing to pour out in monologue form, mostly to spite him at this point, he reached down and brushed off the sleeves of his ratty, far-too-stiff suit jacket. The black and white striped outfit was the only one he ever wore, purely satisfied with the amount of demonic gunk, bile and leftover cocaine that clung to its threads.

    “I hope all of you reading this are ready for a party because this son of a bitch is looking for a good time,” Crowlee stated once more, his eyes moving slightly off center from where he had spoken before. He was speaking directly to the ethereal eyes of those reading through a screen, their mouths agape in awe that this character could possibly interact with them. It must be some meta shit; the writer trying to mess with their heads. There was no way that Crowlee could truly glimpse into the dumbfounded faces of the readers while they sipped on their Mountain Dew and stuffed their faces with Doritos.

    “Those are gamer losers, idiot. I’m talking about weebs. They are so much worse,” the demonic spirit said with a chuckle.

    My bad. Replace Mountain Dew with tea and Doritos with Pocky.

    “Now, why am I even joining this guild in the first place?” Crowlee wondered, humming. He thrust a hand into his jacket and pulled out an oversized book that clearly didn’t look like it would have comfortably rested in his jacket. He licked his thumb and opened up the tome, causing a wave of locusts to come rushing out from its innards. The demon was quick enough to grab one and toss it into his mouth, chewing loudly and spraying locust liquid everywhere as he loomed in on the words before him. “Dark guilds… dark guilds… ah! Here we are,” he said before clearing his throat loudly. “Dark Guilds typically are guilds recognized as active threats to Fiore and Earthland as a whole by the Magic Council. Dark guilds generally align themselves with morals and goals considered evil by wider society, often housing criminals and other individuals that defy public order and law,” he repeated the words of the rule book he had found upon entering the world. His voice changed, taking on the deep bass of a movie announcer as he orated the instructions.

    “Defyin’ public order and law is my speciality after all,” he said with a grin as he clapped the book closed and tucked it back into his suit. He licked his hand and pulled it back into his hair, helping the green locks to… well, remain stiff and standing. With a waggle of his eyebrows once more in the direction of the spectral readers, he stepped dramatically… one step into the radically large graveyard full of ominous and terrifying bones and skeletons from fallen monsters.

    He stood there, hands tucked at his sides, with a shit-eating grin on his face for a few moments. Then a few more moments. Then a couple of seconds. Then his grin sunk down into a frown. “What the hell? Isn’t this the part in the script where I’m welcomed in grand fashion with booze, drugs and hookers?” he complained, looking skyward to the writer once more.

    No answer came.

    “Don’t you fucking say ‘no answer came’, I can literally hear you,” Crowlee whined like a child. “Whined like a chi-- okay yeah, I guess that was a bit whiny,” he conceded. “Hey! Elysium guild… characters, er, people. Yeah, people -- that’s what I meant. I’m looking to join your super fun guild or whatever. So uh… come on out. I wouldn’t say no if you brought some hookers along.”

               TAG! | 944 | NOTES              
    Trinity
    Trinity

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Avatar of Ataxia
    Position : Warlord of Madness
    Faction : The Luminous Covenant
    Posts : 321
    Guild : Divine Calamity (Co GM)
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 2,761,571

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Physio Manipulation
    Second Skill: Mania
    Third Skill:

    Wait this isn't Pottery Barn... Empty Re: Wait this isn't Pottery Barn...

    Post by Trinity 11th June 2020, 7:19 pm

    1071/1071 WORDS
    Trinity
    I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.
    Now, who was this character?

    Thana had been out in the wilds, hunting some beasts to pass the time and scouting out around the general area beyond the hidden entrance of the guild. The likeliness of intruders was low, considering that the guild members of Elysium were the only ones crazy enough to live in Sin. Sure there was the odd vagabond here and there, but most people were too terrified of the danger the wasteland provided to actually live there. As such, there were no known cities or major habitations, not even really any villages. There were a few makeshift docks along the coastlines that people had put up over the years, but only for the convenience of getting in and out of the country as quickly as possible. Thus, it was about as secure a location for a dark guild to hide… if not necessarily the safest option.

    She’d killed a number of monsters during her stroll, and eaten her fill of a few of them. There were still splatters of blood and gore on her flesh and clothes that betrayed the level of violence she’d been engaged in. A black, sleeveless catsuit made of a durable but soft kevlar hugged her thin frame, the zippered front of it pulled down so low that almost the entirety of her cleavage was showing, leaving the pink tattoo of Elysium’s emblem visible on her breast. She wore thick leather boots that came up to her knees and had a heel to them that added a few inches to her otherwise rather short height. Long raven black hair hung loose and luxurious down her shoulders, and she carried no visible weapon.

    The Ace of Destruction had been returning to the guild when she’d spotted the odd man in the middle of seemingly talking to himself. Amber colored eyes that seemed to burn like fire took him in from a nearby perch where she stood atop a large ribcage from a monstrous sized beast that had died long ago. Thana was currently cloaked by her spell of invisibility, rendering her completely unnoticeable to any without the ability to see through such spells. She watched and listened as he pulled a comically large book from the breast of his jacket and flipped it open, talking to himself about dark guilds and their stance with the Magic Council, tilting her head curiously. Was it some kind of encyclopedia?

    You’re not far from the truth. Darius’ voice reached her ears, or at least her mind.

    What do you have for me?

    There was a slight pause, which surprised the Ace. Darius had never faltered with an answer before. The disembodied wizard had always been able to give her exactly what she wanted to know about… well, anything, and had always had such information readily available, sometimes even before she asked. Yet, he had paused like he wasn’t entirely sure how to respond. I don’t believe I’ve ever come across anything like this before. It must be some obscure form of psychosis…

    Thana tilted her head curiously, keeping an eye on the man as he put the book away, even as Darius continued to analyze the man’s life and history from within the violet colored amethyst that hung from Thana’s neck. So, he’s like me, then? He’s got some fracture in his mind that causes him to hear other voices and speak to them?

    Not quite. Only one voice, and it’s not really… a voice. It’s more like he seems to believe that he’s a literal character in a story, and the voice he hears is the narration of the one writing it.

    Even Thana had no words for that. And I thought I was crazy, she finally thought after a moment, a smirk tugging up her lips. The expression of amusement only grew wider as she watched the man step dramatically a single foot closer into the graveyard like he expected some kind of immediate reception of some kind, only for his excitement to visibly dwindle when nothing happened. Alright, what else can you tell me about him? she asked as the man started yelling up at the sky about an apparent lack of booze, drugs, and hookers.

    Darius took a moment to read the man further. His name is Crowlee, and he appears to be a demon of some kind. Specifically a dead one. His past is hazy at the moment, but it seems he is here to join the guild.

    Well then, how fortunate for him that an Ace is here to greet him. Her mind made up, she dropped down from the ribcage to the barren dirt below, doing little to mask the sound of her fall. In a place as overrun with bones and debris as this, it would be almost impossible for someone to make out her exact location, and she was interested to see if she could frighten the demon or not. As she approached, he actively called out for the members of the guild to show themselves, stating his intention to join and his desire for them to bring hookers along. “Mmm, are you sure about that?” she asked, the source of her voice difficult to pinpoint as it echoed lightly off the bones around him. “Our services are quite expensive, and you don’t look like the type of man that can afford them.”

    She walked a slow circle around the man, and at some point while she was at his back Thana released the invisibility that cloaked her, revealing herself to him as she continued her circuit back to his front. A devilish smirk adorned her face, and her amber eyes took their time to look him up and down, taking him in from up close. “I’m impressed. Not anyone can just stroll through Sin and wind up almost right on our front door. Normally, trespassing is grounds for torture.. A personal favorite of mine. But you’ve caught my interest and I’d like to hear you out. So tell me, Crowlee: Why the interest in joining our little guild? And how did you manage to get so close to finding our grounds?”
    Please forgive me if I don’t talk much at times. It’s loud enough in my head.
    IVYLEAF33



    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Kit Kerrington
    Kit Kerrington

    X-Mas Event Participant- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Reapers Touch
    Posts : 1153
    Guild : N/a
    Cosmic Coins : 10
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 1,543,904

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Ancient Dragon Takeover
    Second Skill: Nightshade Slayer
    Third Skill: Dragon Contracting

    Wait this isn't Pottery Barn... Empty Re: Wait this isn't Pottery Barn...

    Post by Kit Kerrington 15th June 2020, 3:13 am

    Janey would be up in her room resting and reading humming to herself in a large pile of gold and plunder that awaited her. snuggled and warm and cozy in her mountain of gold until she heard a ruckus from below causing her head to pop out of her rather large pile of gold. A visitor perhaps... with that in mind she shuffled out of the pile of gold and treasure brushing herself off to make sure it stayed in her room and left to go see who had entered her home. As she walked on the hallways Shiva divorce getting louder and louder wondering who could be causing such a ruckus in her home. All of Janet's Dragon like creatures including percale was showing at the moment as she did not feel like you have to hide herself inside of her own Guild hall anymore, especially now that you had people that accepted her. She would get to the top of the stairs and what did down briefly seeing her Guild Ace Trinity down there which made her smile, she seemed to be talking to a green haired man. She could not place it she had a bit of a strange feeling about him. But then again she has had so many odd characters come into her Guild and decide to join so this would be no different. With that in mind so we descend down the stone staircase, and greet her guest.

    And she got to the bottom of the stairs she would look at Trinity first. " hello Trinity, I see you have we did our guest thank you for that, also congratulations I read your article, you do us all proud." She said something very genuine as she then turned her attention to the green haired man. She would take a moment to examine him up and down admiring his seemingly different appearance than she was used to sing but with so smile at him. " hello there sir my name is Janet Cinderfeild, one of the Warlords of Fiore, and the dragon queen of these lands... welcome to Elysium I Am The Guild Master of the Guild..." she would give a small pause looking at him though judging by the look on his face she wouldn't be able to put off for a slight second but not lowering her statue at all. " from the look on your face however you seem to already know this information which is fine by me.... just mean there was a little bit of time that's all" she gave a small life rubbing the back of her neck thinking that her reputation had gotten the best of her this time oh, she had no way to see the vice of the outside like like he did or Trinity sort of could, so to her this is just a little bit odd. " I'm sure Trinity has asked you already but just in case what brings you to our home today oh, how can we help you?" She said seriously to the man moving a bit of her hair out of her eyes with her Dragon claw but maintaining her happy but Superior demeanor looking him over once more curtailed up and around a bit in front of her as she waited for his answer, not ready for what she was getting herself into at all.

    WC:567
    Crowlee
    Crowlee

    Player 
    Lineage : Blessed by the Fourth Wall
    Position : None
    Posts : 34
    Guild : Elysium
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 1200

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: #LifeHack
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Wait this isn't Pottery Barn... Empty Re: Wait this isn't Pottery Barn...

    Post by Crowlee 30th June 2020, 10:58 am




    HI!
    I'll be your guide!


    Crowlee’s speech had been relatively quick and it seemed that he could get an answer in no time flat. After all-


    “No time flat? We’ve been standing here paused for almost three weeks. You brought me to life, made my intro and then fucked off to play video games while I had to stand here and wait for someone to notice me.” Crowlee was quick to interject, attacking the phantom voice for a reasonable break from this particular creative output. “Reasonable break is stopping your writing to go give it good to a hottie; three weeks is getting distracted.” The demon spirit seemed quite agitated; perhaps he could use a little bit longer to settle down and-


    “Holy crap, learn to take a joke. We’re fine, you’re fine, everything is fine. Reboot your computer, clean out your browsing history and let’s back to it. I have a good feeling we’re about to have some real fun,” Crowlee responded with a grin as he rubbed his hands together. And as if heralded by the creative gods themselves, a voice echoed out from the boneyard. It was a smooth, sadistic tone that teased him over the insinuation that he wanted hookers, even going as far as to state that rendered services may be above his paygrade. “Now didn’t anyone ever tell you not to judge a book by its cover? You gotta open it up, see what’s inside…” As if to make a point, the demon spirit snapped open his shirt, revealing the grotesque insides of his body. There was no gore per se but ectoplasm dripped off his ribs and organs and a centipede slid out from his color and dropped to the floor.”[/color]

    “Woo, here I am puttin’ on a show for free and to a phantom voice. Speaking of…” Once more his hand dove into his jacket and pulled out another, yet smaller book made of… well, it looked like skin. He flipped it open, causing the book to cough. “Who am I talkin’ to right now..?” he asked softly as he scrolled his finger over the page, the letters starting to form slowly. For anyone looking at the book beside him, they would see a blank page. But for the demon spirit…

    “Ha ha…” he chuckled maliciously as he lapped in the information in front of him, a wicked twinkle sparkling in his eye. He snapped the book shut and thrust it back into his coat just as Thana revealed herself, having successfully wormed her way into his proximity without his knowing. He was admittedly surprised by her sudden appearance and showed as much, but his eyes seemed to snap between the woman’s face, body (definitely more on the body) and then right over her shoulder, past her even.

    Thana admitted she was impressed that he’d made it this far without incident, though the promise of torture seemed to be in his future for those that tread upon the grounds without reason… if he didn’t sate her curiosity. She called him by name -- how curious that she could just glimmer that out of the air. Then again, she would probably be just as shocked as he was in a moment. “Well I read on the guild des-... I heard that Elysium was all about undoing the status quo and I am all about undoing things, like clothes for instance,” Crowlee said, making a very obvious attempt to hit on Thana. “Oh not just her, but you too,” he said, his gaze flicking just over her shoulder. It seemed like he was talking to another that no one else could see, just beyond the scope of comprehension. “How you doin’, Tits? You and her are lookin’ mighty fine,” he wagged his eyebrows and then, in a disgusting display of attempted charm, let his tongue slither out of his mouth in the form of a snake’s and lap over his hand before using it to smooth his hair out unsuccessfully.

    “But back to the point, Thana, Crowlee said, composing himself temporarily to look back at the real woman in front of him. “I’m looking for a place to belong. A place… to call my home. A place… where I can drag the bodies back and show off and get applauded. Don’t get me wrong, I love screams -- I have a whole song and dance number prepared to show just how much -- but I want people I can share the carnage of the world with and we can all laugh. Because this world is chaos, right? I mean, we’re one late-paid month away from being shut down and restructured into a My Little Pony world.”

    “But the truth is… I’m really here for the hookers. And here you are! Now what does this place use as money? Rubles, euros, pounds, dinars, drachmae, rupees -- had to break a ton of pots to get those -- pesos, yen, leks -- or licks, if you’re feelin’ kinky…” He listed off several different currencies, none of which were home to the world of Earthland. And as he did so, he pulled out wads of each type, tossing the mixture of coins, paper and literal gems onto the ground as he produced them.

    Suddenly, they weren’t in the boneyard anymore. Now they were in a building that was dark and mysterious and was lacking hanging bodies as far as he was concerned. He looked around, openly confused. “Did we just change forums? That was hella quick -- I think I would have preferred a segway rather than a hard turn of the page. You know, something with a montage of us bonding, laughing, me getting on my hands and knees while you get ready to peg-” But before he could finish his very-not-safe-for-PG13 comment, a convenient and well needed interruption came in the form of a voice from up the stairs that were apparently there now. Another woman, just as pretty as Thana, stood up there and addressed the other woman, talking about an article and being proud of it.

    Then her attention turned to him and introduced herself as Janet Cinderfeild, apparently some kind of war lord, a queen of dragons (Gotta watch out for that draconas, amirite Thrones fans?) and the guild master of Elysium. Well that saved on him taking out his book and looking her up. She admitted that he seemed fairly informed of where he was before she turned the question to what they could do for him. “Well, like a little lost puppy showin’ up at your door, I’m looking for a home so that I can grow and get bigger and destroy. And I’m not just talking about my d-” His voice cut off suddenly, as if he had gotten a frog in his throat.

    Crowlee gagged and spat out a literal frog. “... anyways,” he said, deciding to move along. “My… existence as you might call it, needs a little direction but not too much that I feel like a middle-aged housewife married to a CPA. I just want to pop open some cold ones with the boys… or girls, I don’t really care.” He stepped aside, not far enough away from them that they couldn’t hear but clearly trying to separate himself as if they were on stage and he was delivering a soliloquy. He looked skyward. “I’m totally nailing this interview, right?”

    He wasn’t.

               TAG! | 1292/2236 | NOTES              
    Trinity
    Trinity

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Avatar of Ataxia
    Position : Warlord of Madness
    Faction : The Luminous Covenant
    Posts : 321
    Guild : Divine Calamity (Co GM)
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 2,761,571

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Physio Manipulation
    Second Skill: Mania
    Third Skill:

    Wait this isn't Pottery Barn... Empty Re: Wait this isn't Pottery Barn...

    Post by Trinity 23rd August 2020, 4:23 pm

    653/1724 WORDS
    Trinity
    I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.
    The strange, grotesque looking man was certainly taking all of this in stride. He chastised her playfully about not judging him by his appearances, following the comment up by quite literally opening up his chest and revealing his insides to her. Shortly after he took a book seemingly out from the organs, asking himself who he was talking to and looking to the book as though it would give him the answer. The book coughed. Trinity looked curiously over his shoulder while she was still invisible to see if she could read it but there was nothing on the page. Still, his eyes and fingers trailed the paper as though he could read it, and he cackled merrily as though pleased by the information.

    He closed the book and put it away just in time for her to reveal herself, causing him to jump a little in surprise before he took the time to check her out rather heavily. He also kept looking over her shoulder as if there were something there, and she did glance back slowly out of curiosity, but saw nothing. Her gaze returned to him as he explained that he was looking for the guild because he was looking for a group of people to fit with that were of a like mindset, those who were looking to topple the patriarchy and throw a wrench into the machinations of modern society. He was supposedly all about undoing things, he said, particularly clothing. He was making it rather obvious that he was interested in getting into her pants, but apparently not just hers as he once again looked over her shoulder and started hitting on some unknown woman he referred to as “Tits”.

    Any idea who he’s talking to?

    I believe he is talking to the woman he believes to be your writer.

    Well, that was fascinating. She continued to listen as he explained he was looking for a place to call home, although his idea of home was pretty fucked up. Granted, so was Thana’s. Really what he was describing sounded rather nice to her, even if she didn’t fully understand all of his references. She chuckled darkly when he started asking about currency, leaning in her face close to his. “Why settle for licks when it could be bites?” she asked, snapping her teeth together with a dangerous and sultry grin, the canines of her teeth sharpening into razor sharp fangs.

    It was then that Janet joined them, thanking Trinity for greeting their guest and congratulating her on her recent feature in the popular Socerer’s Magazine, the first ever dark mage to be showcased by the public forum. “Thank you, mistress. I did my best to portray the guild and your vision to the public. And it’s my pleasure to be there to meet those who wander into our little home.” While she spoke to Janet, her eyes never removed themselves from Crowlee, eying him with a look that was mixed between mischievous and malicious until Janet approached. Then, she coolly took a few steps back and let the guildmaster greet the man, who reiterated his reasons for coming and what he was looking for before looking up to some unknown figure in the sky -- his own writer? -- and asking if he was doing well in his interview.

    Thana giggled, a dark sound that was off putting to most people, at least those with a more solid grasp of morality than she had. “Personally I already like him. I think he’d fit in quite well with our wayward collection of outcasts.” Returning her attention to Crowlee, she asked, “Come, darling. Tell us a bit about yourself: Where you come from, what you have to offer… how you envision a perfect world to be. Help us to understand Crowlee.”
    Please forgive me if I don’t talk much at times. It’s loud enough in my head.
    IVYLEAF33



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      Current date/time is 5th November 2024, 5:19 pm