I s o l a t i o n

I have died everyday waiting for you, Darling don't be afraid
I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more
Nessa Cordelia Lux

The streets were quiet, in spite of the fact that there were plenty of people around, it would seem that people didn't want to be too loud right now. The purpose of whispering tantalizing gossip to one another in the hopes of maintaining discretion was being as quiet as you could be after all. Still, she could hear them; they weren't trying that hard. The hushed tones that muttered as the white-haired teen walked by were clearly audible. A toxic commentary on the female whispered amongst the cluster; 'Did you hear what she did? Such a disgusting child.', 'She looks like she's lost weight, probably on drugs too', 'Most definitely, just a no good overzealous brat, like her mother'.

Nessa could hear them all, every savage remark and dig but her eyes would not meet their gaze, she just stared at the ground as she walked. Keep your gaze low, don't give them a reason to engage. You'll only make it worse. The self initiated mantra repeating in her head, pushing her forward. It was just silly rumours and speculation, surely they would pass, and yes, she had lost weight - but not because of any drugs. It was mostly because she was struggling to stomach anything lately, her cheeks had sunken in slightly and her eyes were hollow; tired, perhaps even somewhat empty. But not for much longer, she was hopeful that today things would get better. I'm meeting Cassie after all, She thought optimistically.

Cassie was her closest and oldest friend, they had known each other since the beginning of Secondary school and had been inseparable ever since. Until recently that was. Nessa hadn't heard from Cassie in a while, she had wondered if the Rex incident had triggered it. Cassie was good friends with Rex, but that wouldn't necessary mean that she was on Rex's side in this matter, would it? A paranoid little worm of consciousness was telling Nessa that this was the case, burying its way into her mind. She would fight such thoughts with her own attempts at positive reasoning would tell her it didn't matter. As long as she could tell her side of the story, even if this was the case, Cassie was sure to see reason.

There were wild rumours that had been circulated about her implying that she had fed her Aunty some lies and had her attack an innocent teenage boy. They were lies but how could she convince people of that. She had never asked for any of this, and she knew that despite Nessa's pleading for her not to get involved, that Antoinette was just protecting her. They could have cleared things up if they revealed the entire truth, but that had been the one condition the young girl had put her foot down on. Nessa didn't want people to know the truth, to know what Rex had tried to do her. Only those who were important enough to know could do so, it wasn't anything else's business. Besides, Rex had received enough punishment for his actions and that was from his Aunt alone. The wrath of an entire town who Nessa couldn't talk down, even she wasn't angry enough to do that to him.

Cassie will understand... If I could just explain. She told herself again, more assuredly this time.

After a little while of walking, Nessa passed through the town, arriving in the local children's park. She smiled meekly at the sight of it, the sense of nostalgic tickling old remnants of feelings that lingered from a happier time. Growing up, she had spent so much time here accompanied by her group of friends. So many hours running around, making up dance routines, the excited cheers they emitted whenever they nailed another section of their set. So many fun memories. Nessa spotted her; Cassie. With her curly dark green locks that clung to her slender face, her dark eyes staring ahead having not noticed Nessa's approach yet. She was sitting on one of the swings, swinging ever so slightly back and forth, her toes remaining on the tarmac as she did so - stopping her from swinging too far. Finally, as though she had sense the girl closing in, she would look up, her eyes finding Nessa. Nessa would wave at her as she approached, her face splitting into a smile. Cassie caught sight of her, her dark eyes narrowing, for some reason she didn't return the smile. Nessa headed over quickly, turning she sat down on the adjacent swing, gripping onto the chains as the seat swayed slightly beneath her.

"Hey Cassie, thanks for meeting with me." She said softly, Cassie looked ahead, no longer meeting Nessa's gaze, she said nothing. There was a long pause as neither of the girls said anything, an awkward tension began to build. That niggling worm inside Nessa's mind poking its head up once more, that parasite that ate away at any remaining hope she had. Nessa gulped, trying to think of a conversation starter, something to break the ice. "Your hair looks nice, did you have it permed? Or put in curle-" Cassie's sharp voice cut into the air, interrupting Nessa's question.

"Shut it Nessa." Her tone was sharp, cutting through the air with the lethal edge of a butcher's knife. Nessa jumped slightly, feeling the shock of Cassie's harsh tone, the worm wiggling more vigorously now. Panic setting into the girls bones, unable to speak. What could she say? Her paranoid hunch had been right, Cassie was angry with her, did she really believe Rex over her? She hadn't even heard Nessa's side. Nessa would rifle through her thoughts for some way to begin, to tell her side. Before she could begin however, she would hear the girl next to her sigh, before finally those dark eyes would turn, looking at her. Her intense gaze brimming with burning irritation, "Look, I invited here to tell you to stop calling me. Stop calling me, stop calling Karen and Jess. Just stop, You're just harassing us." Nessa's eyes widened, she had only called a few times, trying to reach out to her friends. The line had been so quiet lately, and she missed them. She couldn't understand, they used to call each other all the time, What had changed?

"I'm sorry I just... I hadn't seen you guys in a while... I miss you all so-" Cassie stood up suddenly, Nessa flinched at the swift movement, the anger radiating off the girl was palpable. "What Nessa, what do you miss? You dragging us all around so you can play little Miss Popular and her obedient horde of plaid skirted minions." Cassie rounded on Nessa, grabbing the chains of the swing roughly. The action would cause Nessa's seat to shake suddenly, she pressed her toes into the ground for added security. Not that Cassie would make any move to shake her off the park apparatus, bracing herself has been instinctive. Cassie took this moment as an opportunity to bring her face closer to Nessa, so the volatile heat of her words could be better felt. "Look at me, I'm Nessa Lux and I'm so fucking perfect, with my pretty hair and my amazing life. Everybody likes me, all the girls want to be me and all the boys want to be with me, lad-dee-fucking-dah!" she growled, Nessa's would drop slightly. She couldn't believe how mean Cassie was being to her. Cassie had always been a little on the harsher side at times, she had a sharp-tongue and was merciless when crossed. But never to Nessa, she had always been nice to Nessa. The white-haired teen would shake her head in protest.

"Cassie, I don't think like that-" She began, only to be cut off once again but Cassie's angry tone. "Bullshit! You always have to be the best at everything Nessa, then you prance around and rub it in everyone's face. You're a spiteful bitch that plays the nice girl so she doesn't get in trouble for it." Angered flared into Nessa, Cassie's cruel sentences causing her to stand up suddenly. Evening the ground between the two of them, whilst sat down Cassie was very much towering over her, talking down to her in every way possible. The shift in dynamic would cause Cassie to back away a step, a moment of uncertainty flickered across the girls dark eyes before she spoke once more. "What? Are you going to attack me, or you gonna get your Aunt to do it. Just like you did to Rex!" She barked accusingly, confirming Nessa's worries. Rex had gotten to her, of course he had. He had spoken to Cassie and sold her a tale that would turn them against each other.

"I didn't get her to do anything, Cassie please, you don't understand. Rex he-" Once again she wasn't allowed to finish her sentence, upon interruption Nessa's fists would clench in frustration. Her knuckles whitening, she was trying to be patient with Cassie, but the girl's rudeness was infuriating. "Oh here we go. Don't even start with those lies Nessa, Rex told me everything, how you were embarrassed about being caught writing in your diary about planning on doing it with him so you lied and told your Aunt that Rex was trying force you into it." Tears began to well up in Nessa's eyes, she knew it. Rex hadn't just spoken to Cassie but he had fully convinced her that his version of the events that had occured were true. Painted such a convincing picture that Cassie wasn't even willing to hear Nessa's side of things. He was good at that; persuasive and manipulative - Nessa knew that now. Still, she tried; "Cassie he did-"

"OH MY GOD NESSA STOP LYING! YOU ARE SO FUCKING DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION, IT'S LITERALLY DISGUSTING." At this point Cassie would close the space between the girls once more, making it so that she was bellowing in Nessa's face. Her actions almost daring the girl to make a move, fuelled by emotions seemingly buried within the green-haired girl for some time now. Nessa thought they were friends, she genuinely believed that. But the world from her perspective was vastly different from Cassie's and the venom in her friends words conveyed that clearly. Cassie was burning every bridge that remained between the too of them, and despite Nessa's attempts to douse the flames of hatred. No amount of water could stop Cassie from burning it all to the ground. "Cassie..." She croaked desperately, "Please listen to me-"

"No thanks, I'm done listening to your lies Nessa. You know Rex has to move now cause of you, he is literally being forced out of his hometown cause you're a selfish brat. So guess what? Not only have you ruined things for him , but me too. I love him Nessa, I have since before you even laid eyes on him." Nessa froze, tears streaming down her face as the news hit her. She knew that Rex had to move, her Aunt had told her not long after Antoinette had returned from speaking to his family. But the latter part of Cassie's words was a revelation itself - One that Nessa had been clueless to.

"You...love Rex?" She had no idea, she had never said anything. Her and Cassie had been friends for such a long time, but at no point during their friendship had Cassie ever talked about Rex in that way. She knew that the pair got along well, but Cassie had always appeared supportive of Nessa dating Rex, maybe even encouraging. Just where was this coming from? Had Nessa been so dense to her friends feelings that she had missed this, or had she just chosen not to see it? No, she wouldn't have pursued Rex if she had known about such feelings. And Cassie would know this, so why hadn't Cassie told her?

"Yep, and I gave him everything. Yet, apparently I wasn't enough, oh no, he just had to have the pretty, perfect Nessa Lux. But still, we had fun in spite of you. You see Nessa," Cassie moved in close, her voice quietening to a soft purr, she would lean around Nessa's face so that she was whispering in Nessa's ear. "Graduation, that night Rex dropped you off and you shared that sweet, darling first kiss. He turned up at my house after and we did it... over and over again." Before she could stop herself Nessa's arms shot out, shoving Cassie hard, the girl stumbled back. Her eyes were wide with shock, Cassie and Rex were... doing that, behind her back? She couldn't believe what she was being told, she didn't want to believe it. The sheer craziness of such a thought made it almost impossible to believe, but there was something so very honest about Cassie right now that told Nessa she was telling the truth. She was finally being herself, this was the real Cassie. Whatever version of Cassie that Nessa had known up to this point had been little more than a façade.

"How could you... you... were suppose to be my friend!" She shrieked, no longer concerned about the niceties of trying to convince Cassie. If Cassie really did have such strong feelings for Rex, and if they were really sleeping together. Then nothing that Nessa could do or say would convince her of just how vile Rex was. Tears streamed her cheeks, and her eyes blazed with a devastated rage that bore into her green haired friend with such vigour that Cassie would tremble slightly. But quickly pulling herself together enough to retort once more, unable to help herself. The truth was, Cassie had been filled with so much vexation feeling toward the girl that now she had opened the lid on her emotions, they were pouring out explosively. "There she is, the real Nessa Lux; nasty, selfish and violent. That temper of yours is something huh? You gonna snap on me. Beat me up, break my fingers?" Nessa shook her head, lowering her hands, she didn't want to fight Cassie. She didn't even want to hurt Cassie, even though what she had done to Rex had done so. Nessa didn't regret it, because that was Rex's doing. Not hers. Right?

"I'm not going to hurt you Cassie, cause I don't need to. You'll do that to yourself when you realise the truth behind the type of person you 'fell' in love with. And when you do, you'll realise you were wrong all this time. And it will hurt." Cassie's face contorted in rage, suddenly she launched herself forward, grabbing Nessa by the hair, she dragged the girl towards. Nessa threw her hands up toward her own head, grabbing the hands that were clasped around her own white locks, trying to unlatch the girls vice-like grip. Cassie would adjust her footing, and stepping back she would use the shift in weight to pull Nessa to the ground. Focused too much on trying to release Cassie's claws from her head, she wasn't able to brace herself. Meaning that she fell to the dirt with a hard thud, rolling onto her back in an attempt to prevent Cassie's from keeping her pinned. The effort came without reward and Cassie positioned herself above the girl, using her body weight to hold her down.

Cassie pulled back her fist, Nessa looked up at her, her initial though was telling her to defend herself. To not let this happen nor to give Cassie the satisfaction of doing this to her. Still gripping the hand that Cassie had attached to her hair, Nessa's hands would begin to glow with light, her chest would heave under her enraged panting. She could feel the anger building within her, accumulating to an level of near implosion. For a moment she wanted to hurt Cassie, to punish her for the way she was treating her - like all of this was Nessa's fault. Just use your magic, teach her a lesson, you could take her out so easily...

As the thought came to mind, Nessa went still, shocked by her own thoughts. She had just thought about hurting her best friend. Nessa gulped closing her eyes, the light fading from her hands, she turned the cheek, offering it to Cassie. As the green haired girl looked down at her, seeing what the girl was doing, her seething fury would only worsen. And in that moment, she would snap. The hand gripping Nessa's hair would tighten it's grip, yanking her head back so that it was pressed firmly against the ground. She drove her right fist into the girls face, pulling back several times only to deal blow after blow to Nessa's force, her punches growing more and more erratic with each swing. After several minutes had passed the girl stopped, looking down at Nessa's now beaten and bloody face. As she looked at her, a sickeningly sweet grin on her face, she rolled off her before climbing to her feet. Brushing her clothes down and fixing her hair, before she continued to talk.  

"I was your friend Nessa, until you stole Rex from me. And because of that I've hated you for a long time, and now finally, so does everyone else. We all see you for what you are Nessa, face it. Your true colours have been shown and now you have no one." Cassie said, before driving a hard kick into Nessa's stomach. Nessa's grunted in pain under the force of the blow. The white-haired girl wheezing and shutting her eyes that were stinging with tears, before curling to her side. "The truth is, you have everything a girl could ever want. But in reality you deserve nothing, Nessa, because you are nothing."  

Cassie turned on her heel and strutted away across the park. Soon her figure would be little more than a blip in the distance and Nessa would remain there. All alone. Nessa curled into a ball, wrapping her arms around her knees, lying there as tears streamed down her face. She couldn't believe what had happened, she had lost everyone, all her close friends were gone just like that. She had come here today with the hopes of making amends with Cassie and rebuilding the friendships that seemed so distant. And now she knew why. It had been Rex, he had gotten to them. All of them, especially Cassie. And not recently either, but for some time now.

Rex.

He had manipulated her. Tried to force himself on her. Blackmailed her. And now there was so much more, he had spent the entire time cheating on her with her best friends. And had now successfully convinced everyone outside of her family that the repercussions of his actions had been Nessa's fault. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, her and Rex should have gone their separate ways and then her life wouldn't have been turned upside down. She would still have all her friends, she would still be head cheerleader and she wouldn't be lying here in the dirt, sporting a bloody lip and a bruised eye. The words Cassie said began to repeat in her mind, Am I really a selfish person? She thought, and from within the small ball of self-loathing began to grow. Maybe she did deserve this? Rex was just the universes way of punishing her, maybe she had just been too dense to see that she was a bad person.

Webs of negative thoughts would continue to spin with each passing moment, the girl sobbed for the longest time. Hours passed as she lay there, unable to compose herself. It was like all of the strength had been drained from her body, so she just continued to lay there. She wanted to talk to her mum, but she couldn't. Ever. She didn't even have her to turn to anymore. Cassie was right, She had no one.

Time passed by so swiftly, minutes blurred into hours. Yet the entire time she spent laying there, unable to bring herself to move. Finally at the blisteringly cold hour of two in the morning she was found lying in the same spot by her Aunt who had managed to track her down, curled into a fetal position, rain pelting down onto of her. "Nessa!" Antoinette cried in shock, pulling her Niece up to her feet, "Who did this to you?" Nessa's eyes looked at Antoinette blankly. She said nothing, instead she just stood there. She wouldn't answer, she couldn't. She wouldn't let her Aunt get this out of her, not this time. When she didn't get an answer Antoinette hooked her arm under Nessa's, carrying her weight as they walked home. As they walked, Antoinette heard the girl mutter something weakly, barely more than a hoarse whisper, four words she would never expect to hear from her. Cementing how truly broken she really was;

"I want … to die..."

---