Fairy Tail RP

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    mokuzai dreyar

    jackking1998
    jackking1998

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Necromancer's Passion
    Position : None
    Posts : 126
    Guild : sabertooth
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 27
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill:
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    mokuzai dreyar Empty mokuzai dreyar

    Post by jackking1998 16th April 2012, 2:17 pm

    Name: Mokuzai Dreyar

    Gender: male

    Age: 15

    Birthday: January 7

    Sexuality: straight

    Special Characteristics: scar on his right cheek, fangs like a wolf

    Personality: Mokuzai is a very calm and laid back character but when you lay a hand on his friends he will not stop until they are safe. Mokuzai is intelligent and spends what he can of the days laying by the woods staring at the moon. He is very kind and everyone loves to be around him as he always brightens the mood. In battle Mokuzai is calm and seems to enjoy a good fight. Even when being beaten he can’t help but smile because he’s found a strong opponent. It is said that after Mokuzai's parents died, he then lived in the woods alone until a wolf pack found him and took him in; because of this he is good at working in a team and sharing. Mokuzai will joke around alot and even though he is calm he is also childish at the same time. He can also be very sarcastic when he wants to be.

    Likes: Mokuzai likes to be in the woods at night time in the trees as it gives him peace from his mad days at Sabre tooth.

    Dislikes: Mokuzai hates people slandering his friends or the guild as they are the things most precious to him

    Motivations: Mokuzai is motivated by his friends but most of all his determination to become an S-class wizard

    Fears: he fears the pain of his friends

    General Appearance

    Height: 5'5

    Weight: 126lb

    Hair: Mokuzai has grey hair straight hair with a fringe that comes over his left eye

    Eyes: he has dark blue eyes

    Skin Tone: light

    Appearance: he is quite a muscular boy but not to muscular, he wears a short sleeved leather coat and he wears a black t-shirt underneath with the sabre tooth emblem on the front (though this is usually covered except when fighting). he has a red bandana on his head but he wears a cap on top.

    Guild/Council

    Guild: sabre tooth

    Tattoo: the sabre tooth tattoo is located on the palm of his left hand and it is black.

    Rank: B-rank


    Last edited by jackking1998 on 18th April 2012, 11:54 am; edited 10 times in total
    Xana
    Xana

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : None
    Position : None
    Posts : 338
    Guild : Eclipse Soul
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 29
    Mentor : N/A
    Experience : 0

    mokuzai dreyar Empty Re: mokuzai dreyar

    Post by Xana 16th April 2012, 2:34 pm

    Fairy Tail is full at the moment. Join Sabertooth or Blue Pegasus. Also, this is non-canon; Laxus is long dead. Take out the 1997 from the birthday.
    jackking1998
    jackking1998

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Necromancer's Passion
    Position : None
    Posts : 126
    Guild : sabertooth
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 27
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill:
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    mokuzai dreyar Empty Re: mokuzai dreyar

    Post by jackking1998 16th April 2012, 2:40 pm

    ok will do


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    mokuzai dreyar 0010
    jackking1998
    jackking1998

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Necromancer's Passion
    Position : None
    Posts : 126
    Guild : sabertooth
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 27
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill:
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    mokuzai dreyar Empty Re: mokuzai dreyar

    Post by jackking1998 16th April 2012, 2:44 pm

    is that ok


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    mokuzai dreyar 0010
    Xana
    Xana

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : None
    Position : None
    Posts : 338
    Guild : Eclipse Soul
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 29
    Mentor : N/A
    Experience : 0

    mokuzai dreyar Empty Re: mokuzai dreyar

    Post by Xana 16th April 2012, 3:10 pm

    Refrain from double posting please. I really can't give you much at the moment, but you have to apply for A-rank or higher. Also, work on your grammar; it is key in RPing.
    jackking1998
    jackking1998

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Necromancer's Passion
    Position : None
    Posts : 126
    Guild : sabertooth
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 27
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill:
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    mokuzai dreyar Empty Re: mokuzai dreyar

    Post by jackking1998 16th April 2012, 3:14 pm

    ok sorry this is my first time rp'ing as you probably geussed :)


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    mokuzai dreyar 0010
    Xana
    Xana

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : None
    Position : None
    Posts : 338
    Guild : Eclipse Soul
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 29
    Mentor : N/A
    Experience : 0

    mokuzai dreyar Empty Re: mokuzai dreyar

    Post by Xana 16th April 2012, 3:17 pm

    Yes, I can tell. XD

    However, type to the best of your abilities. It makes things nice and easy. :D
    jackking1998
    jackking1998

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Necromancer's Passion
    Position : None
    Posts : 126
    Guild : sabertooth
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 27
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill:
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    mokuzai dreyar Empty Re: mokuzai dreyar

    Post by jackking1998 16th April 2012, 3:24 pm

    do i need to improve anything else or is my character approved?


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    mokuzai dreyar 0010
    Xana
    Xana

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : None
    Position : None
    Posts : 338
    Guild : Eclipse Soul
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 29
    Mentor : N/A
    Experience : 0

    mokuzai dreyar Empty Re: mokuzai dreyar

    Post by Xana 16th April 2012, 3:30 pm

    As I said before, I can't really help much. I'm a little busy at the moment so wait a few hours for me to thoroughly go over this. That, or try to get another mod's help.
    jackking1998
    jackking1998

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Necromancer's Passion
    Position : None
    Posts : 126
    Guild : sabertooth
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 27
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill:
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    mokuzai dreyar Empty Re: mokuzai dreyar

    Post by jackking1998 16th April 2012, 3:33 pm

    ok thanks for the help so far:D


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    mokuzai dreyar 0010
    Zeno
    Zeno

    Emotional Tempest 1


    Emotional Tempest 1

    Administrator- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- God Of Ishgar- Ten Wizard Saint Member- Guild Master- H-Rank- Rich- Veteran Level 3- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Magic Application Approved!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- Hero- Villain- Have Seijin On Your Friends List- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Spirit Link
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    Posts : 1060
    Guild : Eclipse Soul
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    Age : 40
    Experience : 337,500

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Major Arcana
    Second Skill: Minor Arcana
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    mokuzai dreyar Empty Re: mokuzai dreyar

    Post by Zeno 18th April 2012, 6:11 am

    9stone

    I don't get what that is supposed to mean. At least, I'm not familiar with the unit you are using. Please use kg or pounds.

    Also run another grammar check to see if you haven't forgotten any letters in any words and if your sentences aren't too long.

    Take out the (but wants to be S-rank more than anything) part, it's unnecessary. Once that's done I think it should be ok for approval.


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    mokuzai dreyar Zeno1_by_gramcrackers-d7l4bjh
    jackking1998
    jackking1998

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Necromancer's Passion
    Position : None
    Posts : 126
    Guild : sabertooth
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 27
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill:
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    mokuzai dreyar Empty Re: mokuzai dreyar

    Post by jackking1998 18th April 2012, 9:53 am

    ok i have edited it, is it ok now ?


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    mokuzai dreyar 0010
    Xana
    Xana

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : None
    Position : None
    Posts : 338
    Guild : Eclipse Soul
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 29
    Mentor : N/A
    Experience : 0

    mokuzai dreyar Empty Re: mokuzai dreyar

    Post by Xana 18th April 2012, 10:42 am

    "He is very skilled at hand to hand combat as he trains in the woods every afternoon with his mentor Akuto nakama..." Delete this sentence. Other than that, you're good. Also, you need to brush up your grammar a bit, but whatever.
    jackking1998
    jackking1998

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Necromancer's Passion
    Position : None
    Posts : 126
    Guild : sabertooth
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 27
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill:
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    mokuzai dreyar Empty Re: mokuzai dreyar

    Post by jackking1998 18th April 2012, 11:58 am

    ok i have improved this, is it ok for approval?

    i will try to improe my grammar


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    mokuzai dreyar 0010
    Xana
    Xana

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : None
    Position : None
    Posts : 338
    Guild : Eclipse Soul
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 29
    Mentor : N/A
    Experience : 0

    mokuzai dreyar Empty Re: mokuzai dreyar

    Post by Xana 18th April 2012, 1:04 pm

    Approved! Now go work on your magic.

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