Avast, Thou Profane World Tree Rat!

WHY VENUS MUST TANGO WITH A TREE RAT:

Venus was excited, and it was the first time in a bit that she had been excited. After performing missions and doing a bunch of other things, the young Demon Slayer had been informed by one of Sabertooth's guild aces that she had, due to her activity, earned the right to undertake a promotion exam. Success would mean that she was officially a B-rank mage. A further step to getting stronger. With so many emotions, most notably delight, anxiety and expectation, mingling in her head, Venus had prepared as well as she could for the exam, although her state of mind had made sleeping next to impossible.

The sun had risen beautifully, and Venus had risen with it, optimistic and eager to prove herself. Her trip to the guild hall was uneventful, and within moments, she had passed from the hall and more public spaces to the private areas at the back of the guild hall. There, in a store to which she had been directed, she saw a note, which read:

     For Venus: Go to Yggdrasil, and make your way to the Arena. Bring your firearms.

The silver-haired mage nodded as she folded the note, her heart beating. It was going to be a test of arms, most likely, something that, while she wasn't the best, Venus was confident enough of her skills. In the solitude of the room, Venus prepared herself mentally. She had never been to the World Tree before. With a deep breath, she focused her magic into her guild mark, and a portal appeared before her, quite unlike the one with which she accessed the Abyss. Without waiting further, the Demon Slayer stepped in.

The feel wasn't too alien, as she had some experience jumping dimensions, but it didn't feel like the plane to which she was attuned, in any case. As she stepped out of the portal, she saw that she was standing on a branch of Yggdrasil. Immense was an understatement. As the young woman gawked at the scenery before her, a voice intruded in on her thoughts: "I'd keep my trap shut if I were you. There are still flies here." Venus' eyes traced the sound of the voice to a squirrel. A squirrel. Just short of one foot, and capable of speech. Despite never having laid eyes on him, Venus knew who he was.

"Ratatoskr."

"That's Ratatoskr-sama to you," shot back the squirrel, conferring on himself a Midian title which denoted the greatest respect. "Or, you could just go with 'the Great and Most Eminent Ratatoskr'. I'mm feeling lenient today, so I'll let you call me..."

"Awww, you're so cute. And here I was thinking you'd be some thirty-foot demon squirrel with-- hey! What are you doing?" Ratatoskr was already on the bough above her, holding Aldebaran and Altair, her two guns. "How dare you insult me with your condescending opinions of such an exalted being as myself, you--" at this point, let's just say the words are not very polite, not nearly so. Venus' mouth dropped open as she stared at the foul-mouthed squirrel. "Where were you raised, you infernal tree rat, a gutter?" she retorted. "Haven't you heard anything about minding your manners in the presence of a lady?"

Ratatoskr threw back his head and laughed dramatically. "Vain laws created by puny mortals. Tell you what, if you so much as want to even get to the Arena, you'll have to impress me by getting your guns from me. I do believe you're supposed to get there with your guns, right? And don't ask how the Great Ratatoskr knows these things. The secrets of the universe are revealed to me." With that, he bounded off laughing, and spouting more profanities.

For a moment, Venus watched him, her face coloring red by the second. Then she gave chase. Ratatoskr screamed in glee, as she clambered, leaped and sprinted after him, always managing to give her sufficient distance to make her feel she could get him, yet staying out of reach. After five minutes of a heartily frustrating chase, Venus slumped on a tree branch which could be abut half a kilometer wide in circumference, panting helplessly. Ratatoskr stood on a higher branch, not up to twelve feet away, sneering at her. "There goes the bimbo. And you'd think there was even the modicum of a brain inside that pretty, empty head of yours. Ha! Is this the skill you want to take to the Arena? You should be grateful to me that I'm saving you from going off and disgracing yourself in your exam. So, how are you going to show me some gratitude, eh?"

A black tendril suddenly flicked from an unexpected angle, slapped against one of the guns, and wrenched it free from the gloating squirrel's grasp. "Hey, you" (please insert string of almost unmentionable expletives) Ratatoskr yelled, "how dare you play dirty?" he hollered, stamping angrily.

"Not as dirty as your mouth, rodent," Venus countered, standing to the left of the squirrel. "Gimme back my other gun."

Ratatoskr stared at the tired, gasping Venus, then at the standing, glaring Venus for a moment, before he burst into peals of high-pitched laughter. "So, you're a shrewd trickster are you? You chased me though you knew I wouldn't let you catch me, then you cast an illusion of yourself being tired, while the real you attacked from a different angle, while I was thinking you were down and out. Simple but effective. Old tricks and all that--" (strings of creative expletives uttered).

"That's good, coming from a nutcase, pun intended," the Demon Slayer intoned. "My gun please."

Without a word, the squirrel dropped the firearm and bounded off, leaving Venus alone, finally. Running to her weapon, she picked it, and ascended to the Arena as fast as she could, where before the gates, she saw a bespectacled, tuxedo-wearing Ratatoskr, looking all business-like.

"You again?!" Venus asked, unable to hide her frustration. The squirrel cleared his throat self-importantly, and said, handing her a paper, "much as it pains me to see how far this guild has fallen in standards, congratulations, you've passed." Venus took the paper and opened it, her eyes falling on a congratulatory note, coupled with the guild seal. A legit document, that. She looked at Ratatoskr incredulously. "You mean the whole chasing squirrel business was the exam?!"

"You could always return the paper if you please, you ingrate," said the squirrel, holding out a furry hand. But Venus didn't need any prompting. Without another word, she had summoned a portal and had jumped in, reappearing in the same store whence she had accessed Yggdrasil. Then, overwhelmed by relief, joy, and of course, coupled with the amusingly crazed nature of her exam, she burst into laughter, and whoever walked by the store would wonder why the Ascendant Demon Slayer was enjoying a joke all by herself.



WC: 1149