The Loli Wedding You've All Been Waiting For (Event)

Marriage was kinda weird to Althea.  The concept itself was foreign since the notion that she grew up with was “if you love someone, that’s that”, not like she had any experience with such an emotion in the first place.  Still, she never could really wrap her head around the whole engagement, wedding planning, and ceremony thing.  What was so special about standing under an arch saying stuff?  Was it some sort of ancient magical rite that allowed for a relationship to be “official”?  And why did people need to become official in the first place, no one should really care what they’re doing but them.  But Althea wouldn’t have been able to predict that she would learn a bit more than she’d like to about the procedure just that very morning.

Back then, she had just been loitering around on guild property.  The slayer alternated between the roof and the indoors depending on her mood, because what else did you expect her to do?  Hone her skills?  Look to do more jobs?  Of course not, Althea had to pad out her days with inactivity to make sure she didn’t move through life too fast.  She was content just walking around, aimlessly drinking juice and basking in the sounds of other’s voices without actually processing what they were saying.  But, in the middle of her wanderings Althea felt a tap on her shoulder, turning finding Sorano standing there with her exceed companion.  Her mind immediately jumped to her being in some kind of trouble, because of course she would, but to her surprise it was something completely different. “A job...?” She echoed in a distant sort of tone.

One of the many fairies around the guild fluttered on by, holding a sheet of paper and pen that seemed much to large for them. “A chocolate company needs some help with deliveries.  All you have to do is sign here and-”

“Sure!  Why not?”  Althea exclaimed, practically leaping at the form and signing her name without another thought.  The girl felt like she didn’t need any real details of the matter, it sounded simple enough that she could figure things out as she went along as per usual.  The mage wasn’t doing much, so making deliveries with Sorano sounded like it could potentially be fun and a nice way to spend her free time.  People were pretty nice in general, and the blonde hadn’t found any reason whatsoever to dislike her guildmaster at all, so why not try getting to know her a bit?  “Okay, what now?”  She chirped, staring at the fairy with an excited glint in her eyes.

The creature seemed to clear their throat before speaking, perhaps having been slightly nonplussed that Althea had taken up the offer so quickly, “Well, you’re heading to the Rose Garden to collect your stock and make rounds, the address of where you two have to head being… this.” The fairy produced a slip of paper with a line of pink text written ontop before handing it to Sorano.  “They’ll end up briefing you more on exactly what you have to do once you get there.  Anything else?”

“Yep, I’m so ready right now that I could… erm.”  Althea had made the grave mistake of trying to use a literary device of sorts, but she didn’t actually stop to think about what she’d say on the execution.  “That I could do… something, I dunno.”  She muttered.  But as the taxi rolled up, Althea realized that she had more pressing matters than her social ineptitude.  The mage had completely forgotten about the whole motion sickness thing, but as soon as she saw the vehicle she already had a plan of attack prepared.  She practically threw herself into the car’s backseat before promptly going right to sleep.  After much practice over time, it was something the slayer had become quite good at.  As Althea was asleep she was pretty sure she had rested her head on Sorano’s shoulder for a moment or two, but that would’ve passed quickly because the moment the young girl felt the car stop she rocketted out of the car as fast as she had entered.

A woman who presumably worked at the chocolate delivering establishment came out to greet the pair, directing them over to a room that Althea found was suspiciously decorated.  “Stand here.”  She commanded, pointing to under the arch.  The blonde moved rigidly, almost mechanically, to said place without any qualms, mostly just curious about what exactly she was doing.  “Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded blah blah blah, til death do you part!  You said your ‘I do’s’ on paper already, right?  Now kiss~!”  The woman practically squealed.

Althea just kind of stared blankly at the woman, seeming to not exactly understand her demand.  But of course, the woman was quick to offer up an explanation.  “It's required for the job, you’ll be testing out a new marriage system of ours and a nice kiss will be needed to seal the deal.”  The woman replied matter of factly in a way that couldn’t seem anything other than uniform.  Well, of course there would be no kind of ulterior motive to have two underaged girls kiss each other, that would just be wrong.

The slayer pondered over the matter for a moment, kissing was the thing with the lips, right?  She wasn't all to familiar with it herself, but she had seen many do it as some sort of romantic gesture.  But if so, why was she even thinking about it?  If Althea didn't put any kind of weird intent behind it, kissing would just be a bit of physical contact, right?  The slayer’s eyed narrowed with the effort she processed the situation.  It was just that there were always going to be sexual undertones when kissing in such a way no matter what, but if she could somehow do it in a way that passed it off as something innocent there wouldn’t be a problem.  Her eyes closed as she put even more effort into dissecting every possible route for the job to not end up being incredibly awkward.  Althea knew she wasn’t so adept with human communication that she’d be able to kiss someone in a way that seemed completely unromantic.  Finally, she let out a groan, why couldn't she just deliver some chocolates...?

After having thought over things for a bit, Althea silently listened to her guildmate outright refuse to kiss her.  That was all she really needed to decide that such an action would be out of the question for a trivial job.  She was about to voice said notion to the suspicious lady, but after only two shoves many fanfiction writers were given some free material to work with.  Even the biggest lolicons probably would’ve been shocked at the woman’s blunt actions just to see her ship play out.  And the follow up was even more horrifying in a sense, Sorano seeming to have tripped onto Althea with her lips still pressed against the blonde’s.  Which, you know, put her in a kind of precarious situation.  How horrible, how dastardly!  Just how many poor mages did this chocolate place lure in only to have their first kiss there?  First everything's were important, but according to a certain source kisses were even more so because you’d always remember them.  But the fact that the slayer had gotten that information from a 3rd party and hadn’t even come to tat conclusion made her miffed… at herself.  “Yessssss hold that pose…”

Althea spotted the suspicious woman holding a camera, a fact that immediately broke her from her self-loathing.  Ridgedly, she rolled herself in a way that she was the one on top Sorano instead before getting to her feet and giving the other girl space to do the same.  “You could’ve been a bit gentler, Sorano.”  Althea murmured, glancing at her before wiping her lips with her sleeve of any leftover saliva.  Finally, she turned to the woman, her face steeled.  “The chocolate, where is it?”  The woman rose her hand, but as soon as she did Althea rapidly reached out to grab it.  “Please.  Don’t move.  Don’t talk.  Just nod in the general direction, ‘kay?”  The blonde released the suspicious woman, taking a few cautious steps backwards.  If someone could do something like that, who knew what she could do next?  But the mousy haired woman seemed to get the idea, gesturing with her head only to the room behind the wedding arch.  “Thank you, we’ll be taking these.”  She voiced before going on her way without another thought.  Not like she knew where she as going... but she'd figure that out as she went along!

Althea had made her exit, the box of chocolate held underneath one of her arms.  She turned to meet Sorano’s gaze as she requested for the two to simply forget the whole kissing ordeal.  To this the water mage nodded readily, “I’ll be glad to!  That was insane.”  She remarked with an oddly lighthearted tone.  Actually, she hadn’t really decided how she felt about it in the first place.  Never once did she ever think she’d lock lips with anyone, yet there she was.  On the other hand, Sorano seemed completely calm and collected during the entire situation, so maybe she was just overthinking things?  Sure, through the way the raven haired girl spoke it was apparent there had been some sort of impact, but otherwise the Fairy Tail mage seemed to be keeping a cool head.  Personally, the slayer had debated going on a destructive rampage throughout Rose Garden, but that wasn’t an impulse she was unfamiliar with.  Althea sighed, casting her royal blue eyes towards the clipboard attached to Sorano’s box of chocolates.  It wasn’t the time or place to dwell on her fleeting wishes to murder everyone within a twenty meter radius of her, there were chocolates to deliver!  “Alright!”  She chirped assuredly, grabbing Sorano by the hand and pulling her along in a swift walk.

But the marriage thing sadly wouldn’t be the only thing between Althea and just delivering some simply little chocolats.  Only about a house away from the chocolate manufacturer, a group of four kids were playing with a bright red ball in the street.  But as soon as they saw the crate Sorano and her were carrying, they abandoned their game straight away, rushing up to the pair without hesitation.  “Hey, that’s chocolate?  Right?  Right?!?!”  One child exclaimed, pointing at the boxes with great enthusiasm.  “Can we have some?”

“Please!  Just a bit of chocolate!”  Another one cried out, extending open hands towards the teens.

Althea visibly winced, she really didn’t want to disappoint the chocolate-hungry children, but she doubted that she could just give away things they hadn’t paid for.  The fact that it was being delivered at all meant that some couple out there might be waiting for their treats, and bringing a box pre-raided by some kids on the street might not exactly please them.  And using magic against them or even just a small threat wouldn’t go unnoticed.  Althea grimaced as she imagined the kids’ parents filing a lawsuit against her, it would simply be too much of a hassle.  Instead, she would need to avoid the children without straight out telling them to get lost.

“Look, a small domesticated canine perfect for being stroked by children!”  Althea exclaimed suddenly, pointing a nearby tree where no such dog was.  She had expected for the miniature humans to turn their attention away for the mage and her partner to quickly get away, but they had seen through her genius ploy.  None of the four children even took their eyes off the chocolate for a moment, staring at them with wide, sweet eyes Althea had little resistance towards.  The fact her plan didn’t work had nothing to do with her execution of it, such thoughts were simply absurd.  But how could anyone just say “no” to such small, innocent people?  Well, maybe not innocent.  The fact that they just happened to be on her and Sorano’s chocolate delivering route probably meant they were camping there, waiting to trap any unlucky mages who couldn’t deny them their sweets.  She narrowed her eyes in concentration, these kids were more clever than she thought, always one step ahead of her.

Althea just wanted to deliver some chocolates, why did children she was ill equipped to deal with have to show up?

“Part the way for us or I must hit your behinds bluntly with the flat of my palm.”  When Sorano uttered those words Althea had an impulse to offer her a whole hearted round of applause.  As expected from such a renowned mage, such a naturally charismatic person who could easily handle little human things.  Meanwhile, the first thing that came to Althea’s mind when it came to dealing with the children was beating them up, but the conclusion her companion found brought much less violence.  Besides of course the injury dealt to Sorano by a child following her genius tactical maneuver.  SUch a reaction was very much a surprise to Althea, but she guessed Sorano’s method was just a too effective.  The children dispersed, but not before demanding the attention of their legal guardians, citing the pair of mages to be pedophiles.  Althea rose her eyebrow at the little people’s claims, she couldn’t even guess what in the world even caused them to come to that conclusion.

It was then Sorano went for the blonde’s hand, holding onto it as she ran off before the enraged parents could enter the scene.  Althea wasn’t at all expecting it, being pulled along by the hand through the streets of Magnolia, but something about the gesture prompted a light flush of red to make its way onto her face.  Even though she was unable to calm herself enough to try and dissect the sensation, the slayer could still use context clues to rationalize her feelings.  Too many things had happened between her and Sorano that take out of context would be considered romantic gestures, and any onlooker who spotted the wedding bands on each of the girls’ fingers along with the hand holding would get the wrong idea!  It could be interpreted as in workplace sexual harassment!  Althea roughly withdrew her hand from the raven haired girl’s own, slowing to a stop with her lips pursed together and eyes glancing everywhere but straight at Sorano.  “Sorry, just um, wanted to stop and… do this!”  Abruptly getting onto her knees, the blonde tapped Sorano’s buise she had gained not so long ago, casting a spell that healed it instantaneously.  “There, good as new!”  She chirped, offering the other Fairy Tail mage a smile.  But it was then she noticed the glaring absence of a certain weight she had previously been carrying, her expressing fading into one of confusion.  “Erm, my chocolate’s gone.”  She said, glancing around her surroundings for maybe the box just lying on the ground.  But even as she moved to investigate other parts, the box had seemingly disappeared.

It was then Althea caught sight of a puddle of rainwater in an alley, although it wasn’t due to any particular trait that the water had that caught her attention but the image contains within it.  Staring back at her was her own reflection, her left eye newly colored crimson.  “That’s not good…”  She muttered, crouching down for confirmation.  Unless it was some sort of crazy magic puddle or Althea was coming down with something, one eye was blue and the other was red, a sign of her emotional overstimulation.  The slayer realized then she must’ve been experiencing too much stimuli with the whole wedding, children, Sorano holding her hand, and now the chocolates turning out to be missing, but crazier things had happened without any backlash.  She sighed, it wasn’t that the realization would impact her performance, it’d just be awkward if Sorano asked about it.  Undoing the ribbon usually positioned in her hair, the water mage opted to use it as an eye patch of sorts, covering her red eye.  Looking down at her reflection, she suddenly had the urge to do a pirate impression, but that’d wait until she relocated her chocolate.

Somehow both Althea and Sorano had ended up losing their boxes of chocolate, something that could only be counted as the “worst possible occurrence”.  Right behind, of course, the weird marriage lady jumping out from some bushes and insisting the two took the “next step”.  That would be absolutely horrifying, but losing the chocolate was still pretty bad.  Wouldn’t the two go unpaid if they didn’t find it in time?  Althea would’ve kissed Sorano for no reason!  And that would just make that exchange even more soul sucking to think about.  It wasn’t that Sorano wasn’t good at kissing or whatever, just that it would make things awkward.  And if things become awkward, Althea would literally explode.  Thankfully, Sorano still maintained that cool headed disposition of hers, as per usual, so there would be no implosions quite yet.

However, just as Althea was getting up from hiding her eye, Sorano appeared out of nowhere and scared the living dickens out of her.  (By the way, thank you Puddle-kun for your contributions to society.  They will be treasured forever.)  “Pfftt, nah!  I’m fine, I was just, um…”  Althea scrambled for an excuse, gazing around.  And there, sitting right in the middle or the street, was the answer to the blonde’s dilemma.  It was a magazine, the front page depicting a very lewd looking cat girl maid, don’t ask me where it came from.  “I’M COSPLAYING.”  She blurted out, gazing evenly at her guildmate.  The slayer had first became aware of the thing during one of her “training sessions” with her dragon mentor.  One such magazine was being fervently read by them while Althea did her exercises, and the water mage had been curious enough to ask about the bunny ears, lack of proper clothing, and weird poses.  Still, she didn't think that whatever those magazines were and cosplaying were exactly the same thing....