❀ How to Train Your Demon [Private; Rin <33]

Theo had had it rough the last couple days since the... incident. It was almost entirely self inflicted, but that was fine. The long buried mental novel of his sins had been flung open, releasing his horrors back to the front of his mind. He'd withdrawn into himself, holing up in his room without a peep. It seemed like there were a lot of decisions to be made. Should he just leave everything behind for their own safety and start over again somewhere new? No, he couldn't endure that, he was pretty sure. Dark thoughts tried to take him, as if amplified by the lack of light in his room. He should get out and get some air before he did something stupid.

The eccentric man probably looked like a loon, but he was literally dodging people in the guild hall. It was too crowded to get anywhere on the Crystalli unseen, but he could at least make it clear he didn't want to talk to anyone. He tried to stay as far away from human contact as possible, even if that meant snaking around pillars and taking the long path around, all while his head was down and his hands were in his pockets. While acting weird was not out of the ordinary, his distinctly unfriendly demeanor was shocking.

Finally bursting free of the hall, Theo broke into a jog. It was still early. Normally he wasn't up this early. Not coherently anyway. But, for him to become his morning sleep-beast, it heavily relied on actually sleeping, which he hadn't done much of as of late. Where could he go? He couldn't leave the ship because they hadn't landed yet. They were landing somewhere today, right? He hoped they would soon. Until then, he needed somewhere to pass the time. On the west lip of the ship there was a meadow behind some artisan shops, not too far from the tavern he hung out in sometimes. It was one of his favorite little niches. He'd stumbled here once when time got away from him while under the influence, and it'd been his favorite ever since. It was an unassuming plot, void of the stunning flowers, ivies, and plants of the other garden areas and rooftops. All it had was barley. The thing was that the barley was tall and soft, and shimmered like gold in the sun regardless of its position in the sky, making him feel at home within its under appreciated luster. Additionally, per his current criteria for a hiding place, it was close enough to the docking bridge that he felt certain he could escape unnoticed if and when they landed.

By the time he arrived in the field, his chest heaved from his quickness. Anxiously he approached the rim, peeking over to see if perhaps they were nearing the earth. Too much cloud cover to tell. Grimacing at the uncertainty, and cursing his rushed exit from the guild hall before checking the schedule, Theo took a few steps back, just standing among the swaying stalks. The air rushed around him, tugging his onyx locks and tracksuit in time with the barley. Hands clenched and unclenched repeatedly at his side. His lids slid over his frosty blues, remaining closed as if to calm himself. He wasn't one for fear of heights (that would suck considering his hobby), and it was plenty light out since it was morning, yet an uneasiness settled in his gut. The nauseating twisting in his gut made him inhale deeply through his nose, leaning ever so slightly forward.

What was he going to do? There was still so much Rin didn't know. He wanted to tell her. He didn't want to tell her. He longed for her reassuring arms and kisses. He wanted her to stay far away just to be safe. He wanted to stay here in his home with Crystal Swan. He wanted to leave and hide before he could be kicked out. The conflict was both too much for the man to bear and too much to bare. Theo was lost, even to himself. Yet he couldn't blame Drathir. This was his own misguided fault.

As he suffered silently and alone, he assumed it would stay that way. This was his secret spot, after all. Too bad he forgot he'd brought a certain peachy haired girl here. She might be the only one who knows how much he likes this spot, or that he comes here when he's troubled. The very person he didn't know how to talk to right now was the only one likely to show up. It was just his luck.

Theo hadn’t heard her coming. He should have, since she wasn’t exactly quiet, but he’d been too wrapped up in his own discomfort, hearing the whispers in the back of his mind. He felt the other being creeping under his skin, itching for a chance to come back out. The last place he wanted to give into Drathir was aboard the ship. He’d never met the guild master, but he imagined she wouldn’t take kindly to the massacreing of her members.

Being glomped to the ground was certainly a surprise, earning her a squeak of shock from the older male. He tumbled onto the soft crop with her, quickly getting over his alarm when he saw it was his girlfriend. His mind briefly wondered how she knew of this place, but it wasn’t important. Rin was here now and he wouldn't be sending her away. Even if part of him felt he should. However, the part of him that craved her company won out hands over fist, to the point where his heart ached when she pulled herself from him. He’d have been more than happy to just lay there “crushed” under her weight for eternity.

A rueful smile crossed his face as she righted herself. As they remained seated in the tamped down barley, he found it hard to look at her. So cheerful. She usually was. But after all that happened, was it real, or feigned for his benefit? And if it was real, he felt bad for being so down in the dumps. Theo didn’t want to harsh her mellow.  “You never bother me,” he responded, doing his best to perk himself up. Her next words helped with that. She missed him. A light blush brightened his cheeks. Normally he didn’t blush so easily, but he wasn’t himself, so Rin feeling that way about him still warmed his heart.

Taking the bag, he peeked inside to see it was his favorite treat indeed. It was adorable how she nearly begged for him to share the sweet she bought for him with her. Funny enough, he absolutely would. Pulling one very slightly squished tart out, he took a small bite. Delicious! Plucking a strawberry off the top, he made sure to get some of the fudgy ganache on it before he leaned forward, holding it close to her lips for a slightly more intimate take on sharing his dessert than either of them may have intended. “Thank you for thinking of me,” he said after a moment, aware there was a second tart in there for her, but seeming to prefer sharing his. There weren’t many instances where Theo wouldn’t devour a sweet alone without a second thought, but his stomach was kinda messed up. Sharing seemed the better option.

He tilted his head slightly, maintaining the best impression of cheerfulness he could. Inky strands of hair fell mercifully over his eyes a bit, possibly hiding the tired bags under them from lack of sleep and stress. “I’m glad you’re here. ...Do you happen to know if we’re landing somewhere today? And if so, where?” Theo wanted to know, feeling a heat rise up in the angry crater of a scar under his shirt and jacket. Just enough to be uncomfortable and remind him it was there, but not enough to make him worry about another incident like Oshibana.

Not talking at all was his go to, of course. He'd spent so long not talking about the big giant demon elephant in the room that the instinct was unavoidable. That, and when worded quite the way she had, not even Theo could really help himself. She needed to be more careful with what she said, especially when he was compromised! Brusquely shoving the tarts safe and away, he took advantage of their closeness, placing both hands on each side of her face and angling his face such that his lips were back on hers. Perhaps his kisses weren't as gentle and reserved as normal. They were a bit more raw and selfish, an urgency betraying him more and more as the moments passed. Before he knew it, he had leaned her back into the soft golden stems. Her lips still tasted like hints of chocolate and strawberry, making it all the more irresistible. Normally her wellbeing was of the utmost importance, but his mind was so messy and his emotions were so frayed that he just wanted a moment where nothing going on with him mattered and he could enjoy it, enjoy her. If only all this nonsense would go away so it could be just him and Rin navigating life, the biggest worries being which guild jobs the squad would do and where the next place to explore was. He could have just this moment.

But, since fate saw it that Theo couldn't really catch a break lately, a sharp throbbing in his chest brought him back to the present. It hit with enough force that he flinched just slightly and grunted against her mouth. He had half a mind to power through it on sheer stubbornness, but it did reactivate his sensibilities a bit. It wasn't right to use her as a distraction, no matter how fun it was or how much he loved her. It was because he loved her that he knew what he needed to do. Reluctantly he relinquished her lips, knowing the time had come. Hopefully he hadn't frightened her. "Ah...sorry," he breathed, pulling himself back into an upright seated position at her side. He let the air settle for a moment or two before he continued. "There's so much to tell you...I don't know where to start," he admitted with a sigh, bringing a hand to his eyes to give them a tired rub before it then settled idly over his heart. His normally boyishness was buried under the worries of a man who'd seen things. A man who had lived a much different life once.

"If you have any questions...I'm ready to answer any and all of them," Theo began, dreading it but also looking forward to getting it off his chest and seeing what damage was done and how it could be repaired. He offered her a small smile. She was already so timid at times, he didn't want to make this any more difficult for her than he was probably already responsible for. At the same time, he knew she had questions she was probably dying to ask, and he wanted to seem the most open to her than he'd ever been before. Maybe if she'd attack her curiosity and these questions like she had the man that shot him in the shoulder that one time, or maybe those goblins, this wouldn't end up being so awkward. "Don't be shy. If I don't have secrets anymore, maybe I can learn to live with this...with Drathir."

Theo knew he was all over the place, which had to be hard for Rin to follow. He was easily distracted at best, so now it seemed like he was having a bout of severe ADHD. He was silent for a long time, trying to find the best way to start. The best place to start. The best time to start. Maybe once he started, she'd be prompted to ask questions, which would help lead him.

"Remember when you learned how violent your past might be?" he asked finally, not looking at her. Instead he looked out into the clouds, as if searching for the instructions of how to go about this. "I had a different life once, too," he began, idly messaging his chest as if that would ease the ache. "I'm not from Fiore. I was born in Desierto. My family wasn't very well off, but we were happy. The environment there is very harsh, from the people to the geology. My mother got sick while pregnant with my sister, and we didn't have the money to get them the help they needed to survive. So, when I was still very small, I was sold." Theo recounted his tale with a bit of detachment, though his lips did quirk upward slightly at the mention of his parents. "I know it sounds bad, but really, it was common back then. I was happy to do it. If Dad hadn't sold me, I'd have gone on my own. Anyway, the guild I was sold to was sorta a hodge-podge of types. Thieves, mercenaries...that type. They wanted children because we were small enough to get through small spaces, plus if we were caught most people would think twice before hurting a kid, you know? It wasn't a big deal. I was still allowed to go home, and my family was better for it. However, the jobs dried up after a while, so the guild moved on and I had no choice but to leave my family and go with them." His face fell a little. The simpler days of his life were very short indeed. It only got more complicated from here.

After a short sigh, the man continued, mind distant. "I don't know what happened to my family after that. We travelled where ever someone would pay us. As I got older, I became less suited for thievery and more for treasure hunting. I always enjoyed that, obviously. It was much nicer than the other part of my job...which was also being a mercenary. Basically an assassin. But even then, the country was so rough, every guild was a mercenary guild. There was so much competition, income was getting scarce again, as was general guild attendance all around. Different people were hiring the guilds to basically kill each other like soldiers in a civil war, while the people ultimately targeted sat back and watched. Everything was pretty bad until the sultans declared magic illegal. Tolerance for mages was zero. Everything turned around from there, since now all the guilds had a common thread. The sultans of Desierto hired us directly over and over again to deal with mages, so the money was good," the young man spoke in flat tones, obviously not proud of what he'd done. He didn't need to come out and say it. It was clear many had fallen to those blade skills she'd glimpsed a couple times before. It was the explanation for his uneasiness around the weapon.

Yet, there was still more. By the look on his face and the hunching of his shoulders, he hadn't even gotten to the parts causing the most discomfort. He glanced at Rin, but only for a second. Theo wanted to get as much of this story out at once, but he knew he'd have to give her a second to process and ask questions soon. He almost paused here, if not only to give himself a break, but he pushed on. "Loyalty wasn't really ever our strong suit. After only a short while working for the sultans, the guild split into two. We had some mages hidden in our ranks, people we'd bonded with for years. During a particularly nasty encounter with a mind-reader, we found out some of our best friends, wives, husbands, lovers, siblings, and aces were mages. It was a difficult crossroads. Half of the guild was in favor for saving mages and thus our guild family, while the other was in favor of upholding our jobs and killing all mages, regardless of relationship. The only mercy given was a head start when the mage-sympathetic half left to go into hiding and figure out what to do," he paused, apparently getting to the heart of some regret. The muscles in his jaw flexed a few times before he started again. "I...wasn't a good person then, Rin. I'd grown up loving money and only money. It was my only purpose for living. I used my skills and bounced between the two guilds. It was double the money. The complication was that my girlfriend at the time was a mage. The only way I could keep it up was to keep it all a secret. I'd go on international jobs with the mage-friendlies, and typical assassination jobs with the mage-hostiles. It worked for a little while, but then I was too careless. Under pressure from the sultans, they suspected what I was doing and had me followed. I lead them right to my mage friends. My guildmates mounted a battle with each other by order of the cruel, fanatical sultans, and I was forced to choose a side at last. I chose Tomoe's side in the end, too little too late. I fought with everything I had to undo what I'd done and it killed me."

It was a terrible place to leave off, but at the mention of his fate, Theo's hunched posture worsened and he grunted again. The death wound felt fresh once more, and anyone who knows Theo knows he despises pain...probably from feeling a killing blow. That was enough to traumatize anyone, wasn't it? His body broke into a sweat, his skin on fire much like it had been in Oshibana. And just like then, his shirt and jacket felt like a fiery prison, forcing him to frantically pull both over his head to lay at his side in the field. Once more his carefully hidden scars were laid bare, much like his soul right now. With his recount so far, all scars made sense. There were many from all the sword fights, detailing just how often he had been in those situations. The large, deep, ugly one over his heart both on his chest and back was definitely the killing one, giving proof to his story. It was red and irritated, still appearing as a fresh scar. His flesh around it was still discolored like new healed skin after a burn.

Possibly unexpected and more than a bit unsettling, Theo found himself chuckling. It was cute how riled up she was about it, and he had no doubt her words were true. He'd be more worried about her possibly trying to sacrifice herself to take out these people that hurt him if not for the vital piece of information she was missing. And no, that piece of info wasn't funny, so his laugh wasn't joyful. There was a mirthlessness in his laughter, a bit hollow in his knowing. "Oh, Rin...there's no one left for you to fight for a couple different reasons. Thank you, though," Theo said softly, turning to look at her. Nothing could really prepare him for this conversation. There was no handbook or life coaching class that could give tips for breaking some heavy past to a loved one, though really, with all the people with horrible pasts in Earthland, someone should really capitalize on that. It was a money-making scheme ripe for the picking!

Ok, so first, he needed to clear up her questions. "The people were originally from my first guild, Bahamuts. After the mage hunts began, it split into 3 Wishes, the mages, and 1001 Knights, the non-mages hired by the sultans," Theo recounted, bracing himself for the rest to come. "Ah...Tomoe was my girlfriend. She was sold, too. We were raised together. She ended up being a mage, so she was later part of 3 Wishes. 1001 Knights attacked the 3 Wishes headquarters, so I fought to protect her. We were outnumbered," Theo clarified. It was funny how easily he remembered all of this, especially after so much time wasted on forgetting and burying. It was pointless in the end. He should have been like most people and just lay it out to his friends at the beginning, so they could decide whether to chance his friendship or hard pass.

"When the Guild Master of 3 Wishes learned I had been working with both sides and I was followed back, and that everyone being slaughtered was my fault, he was understandably angry with me. We ended up back to back on the battlefield, but when we turned to face each other as allies he used his magic to ram his fire fist through my chest. Ripped my heart clean out. I wasn't even killed by the side I chose to fight against, but it made sense. I don't blame him. But, something has to be said for my willpower, because I couldn't accept death without knowing if Tomoe was safe. I couldn't let that happen. So I made my well-intentioned mistake..." he trailed off, resting his elbows on his folded legs and sinking his face into his hands. "When everything went black, I guess my soul was making such a fuss that a demon took interest. I was promising all sorts of things, just so I could go back long enough to make sure at least Tomoe made it. I could handle both of my guilds killing each other with all the killing I had done, but I couldn't accept that they might kill her or worse. I was in such a frenzy, I'm not sure what happened, exactly. I know I was brought back, but then it's all fuzzy. There was so much rage and bloodthirst. When I regained my wits, there was just blood. Blood all over me, blood all over the ground and the bodies. Blood on the people running away. Blood all over Tomoe... from my claws in her neck. I'd just been cutting down everyone. Anyone. And as I realized this horrible fact and watched the life go out of her betrayed eyes because of me on so many levels, Drathir pulled me back to my fate as well." It was tough telling the new lover about the old lover, especially in this situation.

"Most people would embrace death at this point, but I still wasn't ready to die. Fueled by misguided revenge, I was dumb enough to reject death again. Now nothing mattered. And it was all my fault, but I couldn't help but want the sultans that started all of this dead. I was playing the blame game, someone other than me had to be responsible for Tomoe's death. So I begged Drathir to let me go back just for them, but he refused. I challenged him. If I could beat him, he'd have to sign a contract with me and let me go back for as long as I needed. He's dumb too, so he agreed thinking I'd never win. However, somehow, I did. Trying to get back at me for bamboozling him, he returned me as a bean in a crop sold to Fiore. Just add water and poof, here I was, giving nearly giving an old lady a heart attack, ready to hunt some desert monarchs. The only problem was...everything had happened 300ish years ago. Time in the dark fighting Drathir wasn't the same as time out here in the living world. Everyone I wanted revenge on was long dead one way or another, I couldn't read, and I was culture shocked in the future." he finished the largest part of his history, at least bringing them closer to current time. He rubbed his face a little extra in frustration before revealing slightly bloodshot eyes to Rin. He was anxious about how she'd handle all of this. Saying it aloud made it sound even worse than in his head, and that was impressive. "That was around two years ago..."

"Yeah," Theo replied miserably to Rin at her first feeble question. It was understandable that words were hard for her right now. He'd just info dumped on her, and none of it was good. So yeah. After all of that, Drathir was inside him, occasionally pulling the strings and ruining everything. Rin wanted to blame it all on Drathir, and that was the easy solution, but it wasn't honest. And after all his secretiveness crashed down on him in Oshibana, it didn't feel right to let another assumption cloud the truth. But she was so determined and willing to shove it aside! It was tempting. Steeling his facial expression as much as possible, Theo nodded. Right. Control him. Rin and Theo were stronger together. There was power in that, right? Reaching for her hand, he rose.

It only took a couple of seconds for his false acceptance to crumble. Standing there in front of her, hand still in hers, his expression cracked. Bottom lip quivering, tears broke free from his eyes and formed small rivers down his cheeks. His shoulders concaved a little, as if his torso curling in on itself would somehow protect him from the emotional pain tightening his chest. Theo was a broken man. It'd been so easy to tell her all about himself as if it was a history lesson, but it had delayed effects. "N-No, Rin..." a sob came, his hair thankfully curtaining most of his face. "It's all my fault. I did bad things. I knew. I was selfish and untrustworthy. I caused so much death, betrayed so many. M-Made a deal with evil...just for misguided revenge...that I never even got...I deserve Drathir. I'm worthless," he continued, body quivering. This is why he wanted to run this morning. The weight was too much. He didn't know what he intended to do, but none of it was good. "You're...you're too good for me. Dipping a piece of iron in gold doesn't change that it's pretty worthless... I don't know how to do...I can't... how ....Nng..."

With her words of wisdom and understanding, Theo managed to reign his emotions in, recovering slightly from the unwanted overflow. Bottling it up had its hazards, but embarrassing tears were the lesser of them. Reaching up to roughly wipe the tears away her small hands had missed, he nodded, acknowledging her truth. "You're right...I have to do better...." Sniffling and attempting to regain his dignity, a hand took the one she'd put on his cheek and gave it a small squeeze before lowering it. The man stepped back, looking a bit better though it was clear he was scared of what might happen.

He'd never let himself be open to Drathir before. Never once had he willingly drawn on that evil power, fighting it with everything he had instead. Burying it. Yet here he was, actually asking for it. His eyes were suddenly stern. "Rin...this could go wrong. Just in case....I love you. And if I can't control it, stop me. Can you do that?" he asked. He'd given Drathir just an inch, and already he was taking a mile. His skin flushed hot again, breaking into a light sweat. Theo hadn't realized just how hard his mind and body constantly resisted until he let go. A gasp released from his lips, somewhere between pain and relief. "It's....too fast..." he groaned, feeling his own strength lessen and the prickle of a much more malevolent spirit in the back of his mind. His eye teeth started to elongate and poke against his bottom lip. The whites of his eyes darkened. Blood trickled down his forehead from the horns just beginning to emerge. Why did it have to hurt so much?! The claws ripping from his nailbeds were enough to draw a whimper that morphed into a growl. "Rin, please, maybe you should le--......come closer, pretty girl. It's been a looooong time since I've gotten any action~"

Theo watched her, eyes flickering between gold and ice blue with every breath. The body he sorta shared with his nemesis quivered in effort, holding Drathir back while trying to backpedal out of letting him out to begin with. You can't put toothpaste back in the tube, though. While a literally demonic smirk twisted his lips, his eyes gushed tears. Oh, it hurt. The transformations hurt. Seeing her so scared of him hurt. Yeah, he knew why and understood, but it still felt like being stabbed in his damaged heart to see her eyes turned on him in such a way. Like he was a threat to her. And while he was normally very much not, he had to admit...right now he was. This was a mistake. Another mistake!

The battle for dominance played on his face as clear as day. Drathir had expressions Theo would never make himself. Every time the eyes shifted from gold to red, it was clear who had the upper hand. Demon wings ripped through the flesh of Theo's back, splattering the barley red behind him. Those red eyes. Theo hated pain and was very vocal about it, but as the horns and claws extended fully, not a peep came from the man before her. Fangs scraped his bottom lip and brought the taste of iron, but Drathir reveled in it. He also quite liked the fear in the small girl before him. Inhaling deeply, a look of pure twisted joy appeared. "The smell of your fear is intoxicating...Rin, was it?" he asked in a toying voice, approaching her. "And I haven't even done anything to you.... yet." Possessed Theo crouched in front of her precious gun, running a slick clawed finger along the top. "What is this? A toy? Oh, please, shoot me with it~" purred the source of Theo's misery, clearly up to no good. "Tomoe at least put on a braver face, didn't she, Theo?"

"Oooh ho ho~ Kinky!" the red-eyed demon cackled, laying there as if her little tackle could really keep him from hurting her. "You know, Theo has wished for something like th--" his words cut off, eye color flickering. He snarled in the mental battle, but Theo was suddenly putting up quite the fight. "You really don'--- SHUT UP-- have any bal--- HNNNNG NO--" Theo's fight for dominance was fierce suddenly, either to keep him from finishing his sentence to, probably more importantly, keep Drathir from clawing Rin's neck to shreds. Breaths came in gasps as he wriggled under her, digging the razor claws into the dirt under him. "R-Rin...please....mooooove..." he groaned, fangs drawing more blood from his own lip.


"N-NO! I love Rin."


"I love Rin more."


This gave the conversation pause. Drathir seemed smug and Theo seemed stunned and dismayed.

"…That was…real?"


"I-If it comes to that, I’ll face it. I'm not the same man I was hundreds of years ago. I stand by what I said," Theo said in determination, looking at Rin without a doubt on his face. She may be afraid of him now, but she needed to know he was serious. He'd do anything to be with her and keep her safe, which seemed to fan some sort of rapidly growing strength.

Drathir whined, feeling the surprising strength of his host try to pull him back in.

"You're done. If I'm going to let you out willingly, you have to abide by some rules....or I'll keep you bound up forever. I'm doing this to come to a truce...something that will benefit both of us as long as we're in this contract."

The smugness in his tone betrayed his own fear.

"Yeah. But, Drathir...if I say screw it and break it right now die, you'll meet your punishment when you get back. Won't you?" her lover asked, a rare peek of calculating savagery surfacing after so many years.

This enraged Drathir. Theo managed to get loose from Rin in a hurry, scrambling away just in time for Drathir to rear his ugly head and take back control in a temper fit. His wings started to flap, and an insane looking self battle took place. He darted everywhere at top speed, clawing himself and shaking his head and horns, roaring and crying out. Red, furious demon eyes turned on Rin again for a moment, and just as powerful legs and flapping wings about launched him at her again, the irises flickered to yellow, then to blue.

And he faceplanted.

Despite her sobbing, which Theo didn't seem to hear, the man huffed out a short laugh. It was muffled into the golden barley stalks smashed under him since he didn't turn his face, and more laughs followed until it was a proper, very weird laugh. A laugh not out of humor, but out of desperate victory in a situation he hated from the start. How long would it last? He didn't know. But for now, right this moment, Theo had Drathir in contract checkmate. And while he could feel his demon's anger, he was quiet, and Theo could think his own thoughts and had control. It was more like they'd...melded. It was new. He didn't feel like his normal self, but he wasn't split like before.

How could he have forgotten the fine print of the contract? He could have done this a long time ago if he hadn't forgotten that Drathir was in huge netherworld trouble when he went back. That was the true glue keeping him from casually withdrawing his help to keep Theo's pieces of heart pumping.

The laugh slowly turned into a more pained sound. Theo was a lot of good things, but ever since he'd felt the literal sting of death as well as the pain allowed once dead...he really wasn't a fan. Just the thought of pain like what he'd experienced made him uncomfortable. "Rin..." he wheezed. "You're on my wings..." he whined, though more accurately his entire body felt feverish and angry. Despite that, he turned his head enough to give her a fangy grin, golden eyes much less threatening than before. "Thanks," he breathed softly, starting a slow wriggle to try and roll over or sit upright.

"It's me," he huffed tiredly, holding up his bloody clawed hands in a sign of non-violence. "I..I guess I'm o-okay..." Theo continued, though his eyes drooped slightly as he spoke. His body seemed to have a hard time sitting up, as if he weighed to much to keep up. That had taken a lot out of him. "I feel pretty gross. It hurts..." the newly in-control takeover mage admitted to his lover softly, using the back of his hand to clear some blood from his eyes that had dripped from the torn skin around his horns. Hopefully in time it would feel better than this to use this magic.

"For now...I can control it. He's still there, but we're more...symbiotic? I don't know how to explain," muttered Theo, an expression of concentration crossing his features. He could tell his appearance made her uncomfortable. He could understand. It just killed him to see fear in her eyes directed at him. Maybe she'd get used to it after a while? The wings and horns started to slide back in, offering up more blood for the ground. He cringed in discomfort, but continued on. The claws and fangs receded slowly, and soon his fangs shrunk. "Is...this better...?" Lastly his eyes returned to normal, though he looked about to pass out. Maybe he even did for a second, since things went wonky and then suddenly he was leaning forward with his forehead on her shoulder.

His hands went to his chest, where he placed them over his erratic heart. Though back to normal, he retained his fever for now. Should he tell her about his condition and Tomoe? After what happened in Oshibana he was hesitant to keep any more secrets from her, but these would probably only serve to upset her...

"Yeah...no more secrets...I promise.." he muttered against her shoulder, apparently no longer possessing the strength to move. His arms dropped from his chest, pooling loosely around her waist. Despite all, he'd done good today. Even despite feeling like he might be on death's door again, he could appreciate that she'd helped him conquer a part of him that needed to be dealt with...for hers and everyone's safety. It wasn't pretty, and it wasn't pleasant, and he didn't even like it...but he had no choice and had to deal with it. Now, if only the memories would go away, maybe he'd feel happier. But no, this was still a bad day for him, one he couldn't quite pull his mind out of.

"Rin...I have a couple more things to tell you. Just not right now...I don't feel very good," Theo told her, trying to make sure she knew he was trying. He had all the intentions in the world of never keeping another secret, from her or anyone he considered a friend, really. But these things would be even harder on her, he suspected. No fun all around. "I love you so much. You've helped me in ways I don't think you know. Please, don't ever lose your faith in me," the exhausted man said softly, managing a smile she couldn't even see. Maybe he could just rest here a moment... just a few...seconds... Theo's body slowly relaxed as the darkness behind his eyelids came to claim him. It had only been a matter of time until his days of sleeplessness caught up to him, and the battle with Drathir had been way too much for him to handle. But for the first time since Oshibana, the jello mage seemed at peace.