Job: Theo Tastes the Wine [Solo]

Theo Silversong was not looking for a handout. Never. Theo would never take a job just to get something worth anything for free. Nope. He's not that guy. He only meant to help out of the selflessness of his heart-- pfffft.

Theo entered the restaurant sheepishly, as if by stepping a single toe inside he expected to be thrown right back out. It was a snazzy place, full of snazzy people. High class citizens in their best formal wear were seated all around, pinky fingers raised despite the weight of heavy gold rings. Why did wealthy people always look like they smelled something horrible? It had just opened for the day, so no one was eating yet. Why the job hadn't been posted for off hours so the tasting could take place before the work hours, he didn't begin to know. Slowly making his way toward the back of the establishment, he couldn't help but notice he was catching glances like a net catching koi under a park bridge. He self consciously tugged his track jacket as if to remove any imaginary wrinkles, like that would make him look like he belonged. In these situations he always vowed he wouldn't be this type of uppity rich snob, and this time was no different. He returned their glances with an icy glower and disappeared between the swinging kitchen doors.

Oh, this would explain why the job was so last minute. The poor owner, a staunch man with not a hair on his head, was slumped over a surface meant for food prep. His face was rosy though his expression was forlorn. Every couple seconds he hiccuped. At first he didn't notice the wizard he'd hired, moaning to himself some sort of gibberish as he waved pointlessly at the flurrying staff performing their usual duties. Once those glassy green eyes roved to the door, he staggered up and flung his arms wide. "I'VE GONE WINE BLIND!!!" he cried at Theo, whirling to sit on an empty barrel that seemed like it had been filled with wine at some point.

"E-Excuse me?" Theo asked, blinking a couple times.

"It'sh....*hic* It'sh like nooose blind, only fer wine," explained the inebriated restaurant owner, briefly looking as if he'd hurl before recovering himself. "I've tashted and tashted my handiwork, but *hic hic* I jusht dunno if it'sh as goooood as I think! These yuppies won't tell me the *hic* truth 'cause I'm the boss. I need an unbiashed *hic* opinion." For a drunk man, he was very fast. Up off the barrel, in a fleeting second he was gripping Theo by the shoulders. "TASHTE! Tell meh it'sh the BESHT! I can only sherve the BESHT, son!"

Theo nodded, both unnerved by the owner's antics and excited to taste something made so carefully for such rich people. Stuff he'd never otherwise be able to afford until his treasure ship came in. Ducking from under those grabby drunk hands, he scurried over to a second barrel of wine and got himself a class. Trying to seem truly high-class in his tasting, he swirled it and sniffed it, making "Hm"s and "Mm"s ever so often. It smelled divine, like the assumed sweet of the grapes themselves, but also like strawberries and chocolate, and maybe a little spicy from a manly smoke. It was sophisticated. He sipped it and oh my god it was delightful. Could he ever enjoy wine he could afford again? Theo pretended like the first three glasses weren't enough to decide, but at his temp boss's growing impatience, he knew he had to reach a verdict so this heavily liquid could be served to those lucky paying customers. He turned to face the drunk man, bottom lip quivering ever so slightly.

"OH NO! *hic* ish it that bad!?" the owner wanted to know, clapping a hand to his feverish forehead.

"No, it's the best I've ever had. I could cry," Theo whimpered, feeling emotional and a little buzzed. Tears gathered at the corners of his eyes. "It's *hic* the best in the world!"

The owner was upon him, slapping his back and laughing as he called his servers to start pouring for customers. "Thanksh a bunch! I gotta make *hic* an announcement, but here! Come back anytime...it'sh on *hic* the house!" he grinned, handshaking a coupon into Theo's hand before he busted from the kitchen doors to inform his customers of the treat. Theo wandered out the back door, safely placing his coupon away in hopes of returning soon to enjoy such a wonderful thing.