"Did it to myself"

Amaryllis considered the crowds of people in the docks and the temptation to return to the bookstore or dessert shop was tempting compared to the crowds that awaited her. She pulled her cloak around her further like a flimsy coat of armor against the mob of people clamoring for a passport or to take a vacation outside of Fiore. You can do this, she encouraged herself and plunged forward to secure her place in line.

She had followed the advice given my the kind woman who ran the inn, where she had spent the earlier night at, and arrived as early as possible to the docks. The plan had been executed flawlessly until she had discovered a rare bookstore and spotted a shop that sold exotic sorbets. In the end, she had purchased a book, headed into the sorbet shop, and spent two hours reading and sampling sorbets before she reached the docks.

Amaryllis licked her lips remembering the sweet taste of mangoes and limes from her sorbet and ran her fingers over the spine of the book which rested in her arms. That was worth getting to the dock late, she declared and glanced around the person in front of her. The line stretched from outside of the building to the entrance to the docks. She stood towards the end of the line and she could feel the building sense of boredom wrap around her and hang heavily over her like her woolen cloak in the midst of a heat wave. Amaryllis didn’t perceive anything overtly interesting happening whilst she waited in line with the rest of the masses. The icing on the proverbial cake was the combination of the summer heat, mob of people, and her introverted nature requiring too much energy to function in the face of the said mob. I take it back. I should’ve come earlier, she whined internally, but couldn’t stop herself from stopping her foot once in frustration.

“You ok?” the person standing behind her asked with a concerned expression.

Amaryllis froze mid-stomp and spun around on her toes to face the origin of the voice. “I-I’m fine!” she exclaimed, her face blooming into a full bloom of red. She couldn’t believe she did it again. Over and over again, she got caught up in her own thoughts and forget about those around her causing displays of her internal struggles and emotions, which were far more common than Amaryllis liked. It was embarrassing and immature lacking a control which she prided herself on.  

“Ok…” the person replied and returned to their own private world.

She flipped her hood over her head in an attempt to hide both her face and embarrassment. I will never run into that person again a-and even if I do they won’t remember me! She frantically reasoned, calming her frayed nerves and cooling her embarrassment.

Amaryllis spent the rest of the time hidden beneath her hood and running herself into a battle between anxiety and calm due to her previous exhibit. The sun was slipping beneath the horizon by the time she reached the front of the line. She dragged herself to the counter, limply dragging her hood off to face the official standing behind the counter.

The official took in Amaryllis’ appearance and paused. The poor woman looked as though she had seen a dead body, ran away from the murderer herself barely escaping with her life. “Miss, are you ok?” he asked leaning down slightly.

“I’m fine! Let’s get this done, ok!” she snapped, a brief burst of energy seizing her body before it drained right out.

“Certainly miss,” The official gave her a gentle look reminiscent of one given to a pitiful creature caught in a hunter’s trap.

Amaryllis added the official to her impersonal hate list while she filled out the required documentation. A couple hours later, the official suggested a well-known hot spring and handed over the passport wishing her a better night. Once she returned to her room at the inn, Amaryllis vaguely recalled flipping the poor official off. At least I got the passport, she sighed and buried herself beneath the covers.