"What if the grass is greener on the other side,"
It had been a week and a few days since Ahote had last visited the settlement due to the incident. The murder of Angus, a fate brought upon the older man by Ahote. Even after his talk with Famine, even after his doubts and qualms had seemingly had been resolved and his confidence in himself restored, it didn’t make it any easier to return to the village after his sudden disappearance. The boy worried about whether the villagers had planned to attack him or not, and became afraid that he may not be able to defend himself anymore than Angus could against him. An understandable worry most would agree to, but Ahote had been unusually calm for the situation he was so sure about for reasons unknown to him himself. Maybe it because he now knew he was capable of killing a man or that he was able to defend himself when he knew he was being picked on. As gross and upsetting this realization may be, Ahote came closer and closer in realizing that if you can’t change the world, you must change yourself. These thoughts stuck close to the boy, but he was nervous that maybe he hadn’t changed and that this was always a part of him.
The thought wasn’t as disturbing to him now than it had been during his isolation, and became more like food for thought than a qualm. It wasn’t this that disturbed him, no. It was a deeper, darker revelation that shook his core. A question than rang in his ears, that woke him from his slumbers and left him frightened when facing his parents. Did he enjoy it? The copper smell of the blood that covered his fingers that day, the pleasant struggle breaking bone and the almost erotic feeling of power over Angus’s life seeping out of his old, decaying body and into the snow. When Ahote reimagined the scene during daylight and relived the murder in his nightmares, his cheeks became hot, nose and ears becoming red with blood, and felt his gut sink. But were they really nightmares? Ahote pondered this every day since the murder, and felt unsettled since. He didn’t know why, but he despised himself for feeling the way he did about the murder. He despised himself for shedding no tears and vomiting only once. He hated himself for worrying more about his mother’s forgiveness over the actual crime he committed, and was left thinking he was less human than he was before this whole mess.
Ahote sauntered down the snowy hill in long, tiring strides. It had occurred to him that the item he meant to retrieve on the day of the murder was never taken, and left to collect dust for the last week and a half. As anxious as he was to enter the settlement again with judging, prying eyes and scowls of disgust, he did have to eventually come down to get his products and get jobs from clients. He pushed himself to confront the inevitable as opposed to hiding in his room with his books and thoughts, but that didn’t stop him from being reluctant about it.
The chilly winds blew past him, kissing his cheeks and making his nose and ears red with blood, as they usually did when he was cold or flustered. In the near distance was the settlement, lanterns lit and cabin fireplaces burning even brighter. It was a cozy settlement, a warm place from the looks of it but welcomed few. Well, from Ahote’s experiences, welcomed no Basilisks, or mages for that matter. He never talked to any of the settlers enough to understand why this was or talked to his parents about it. It became a quiet, unspoken rule that persons of that nature were not welcomed, what a small world.
Ahote took deep breaths and stalked through the deep snow and into the settlement, the usual old man who patronized him no longer sitting on the crates that never moved. Although the blood that dyed the snow was no longer visible underneath a fresh blanket of snow, the disgusting odor of copper remained. The boy would pause and stare into the white, icy flakes of snow, sighed, and continued to move forward towards a tavern in the center of the settlement.
As usual, the tavern building radiated heat from the fires and wreaked of alcohol, specifically vodka and beer. - Really strong stuff. So, knowing this, Ahote always asked for his requested products to be placed in a storage building on the outskirts of the settlement, but because it was nearing its limit he had make do. It didn’t help that the men and women who normally hung out here were tough and ten times bigger than the barely five-foot-six teen. Despite this, he knew that the faster he got his stuff, the faster he could leave. Knowing this, he walked up the creaky steps and into the tavern he his thick, wool coat, long pants and leather boots.
Ahote closed the door behind him, and nobody glanced away from their beer, their conversations or their women. Luckily for Ahote, he had appeared to have gone unnoticed. He had only been in the tavern a few times, those times being swift and brief. He never got a chance to actually look around and take it all in, not like this anyway.
The boy walked over to the counter, behind it was a shelve of drinks and glasses. The man attending it was named Rufus, a stocky, bearded man who spoke very little. Both he and Ahote seemed to get along like any other guy, but wondered if his opinion of him changed since the incident. With that in mind, Ahote tapped the wooden countertop to draw in Rufus’s attention. “Can you hand me an item I requested? It’s a white flower sent here about a week and a half ago. . . thanks.” Ahote sputtered in his usual quiet, soft voice.
”Oh, that? Yeah, wait here one second. Gotta find it among other things, might take a minute or two” Rufus responded in his rough, guttural voice as he stomped off to the back room, which Ahote assumed to be a storage room, to retrieve his plant sample.
Understanding that it would take some time knowing Rufus’s organization problems, the raven haired boy slid onto a stool and leaned over the counter, waiting patiently. Looking around, he never noticed the tavern’s little details. Like the wood the tables were made out of and how the rugs were actually bear hides. That the tavern was lit mostly off of lanterns as opposed to candles, and how beneath the smell of booze was the odor of sweat and bad breath. It was an unpleasant place for Ahote to be, he thought, but was unusually warm. He kept his hood on in order to conceal his face, and wished to speak to no one as he patiently waited.