Tree Thieves [Job]

Jerb:

’This isn’t good.’

Though the thought felt like an understatement it summarized everything in a nice and neat little package in the girl’s mind. Violet eyes narrowed at the ground, curious emotions building up inside. Confusion, interest, and…a bit of fear? Fear stood out as the most curious emotion of all, one of the few ways she’d felt “alive” for the past couple hundred years. It only struck her those seconds before someone “death” that ultimately merely shoved her back into the realm she knew as “Paradise.” For those few seconds though Shade experienced fear: fear of falling, fear of crushing, fear of pain, and most importantly the fear of returning to that dark and decrepit place. A fear of being stuck there permanently.

It’d been that very basic fear that lead to the creation of a way to link herself to the realm of the living, offering a surefire return. Through Amarylis and Hallowed’s combined powers she’d created a special form of tree, one that could thrive in the realm of the living by feeding off of their energy and providing a solid connection between the realms. The largest of them existed in Joya, surrounding a long since dead village, but over the years she’d created them in various countries, leaving them in her traveling wake. Over time they became things of urban legend and myths, places to warn children away from due to the “dark magic” hidden inside, and on occasion they stood as places for adventurers and treasure hunters to plunge into in the hopes of riches. Those cocky and daring rarely returned, and those who managed to escape before their very essence became gobbled up generally didn’t live to see a whole year after the experience. These trees drained at humans the most, only nibbling at the woodland critters that otherwise called these places home.

So the fact that one of her trees appeared to have been uprooted and removed both intrigued and worried her.

’They should’ve drained the magic and life from the person before they could manage more than a dent…so why…WHY am I looking at a hole with so much loose dirt?’ Eyes roamed over the hole, hoping to find some sign that might tell her something, anything, and came up utterly lacking. The dirt spoke nothing of the events other than roots tearing through it, splattered around the grass like the blood of her otherworldly foliage.

Only the sound of leaves scraping against one another in the wind accompanied Shade, the woodland creatures no doubt long gone due whatever transpired here. Though that left her with another question, arm tightening around the thick moose plush as the other attempted to keep white hair from obscuring her vision, ’Where did my guardian go? I can’t seem to sense it in the forest…normally they’re forbidden from leaving…hmm….’ Well, no matter, she’d investigate that later as recalling them proved a simple manner and she wouldn’t have been surprised if it gave chase to the tree, an obvious path of destruction stemming from its original resting place. ”I suppose we’re off to see if we can’t find our thief, hm? CM?” The moose quivered in her arms a bit, the poor dear nervous as always, though for once Shade couldn’t blame him.

The forest was magical, the forest was frightful, the forest was spinning round and round. Wait, no, that was Aurora's head as she threw her last bottle to the ground. She could have sworn she was in the rose garden doing something important... like buying more booze, but no now she was in the tourist trap of some forest maze. She could just cheat her way out of it, but where was the fun in that, she needed to discover the true way home, it half of the adventure! Some spoopy tree thing hissed as her, but all she did was stick her tongue out back at it and made a 'bleeh' noise. No tree would cause her to be afraid, it probably wasn't even real, just like gravity. Gravity was just the slavery of the universe, and Aurora didn't prescribe to the slave name of gravity, at least when she was hammered. If she wanted to fly, she would make bird noises and chase people, gravity be damned!

Little creatures were skittering about scared, or maybe they were just trying to have a sweet rave party. Yeah, squirrels at a rave party, man that would be nuts. Oh man what if there were like Sheep that wanted some, would they be wolves in sheep's clothing? That would lead to a baaad end for their partner, but Aurora would be Lion if she didn't wish to chill with them. Just as the green haired girl was contemplating pulling out some more of her favorite drink from her secret stash a little creature came running up to her, it was in the shape of a rabbit, or at least that's what Aurora saw.

"You who are lost in the forest, come quickly we have to---."

"Do you know where the kick ass rave party is? I wanna get down with my bad self and rock out."

"I'm sorry... what? There's no rave party? I'm here because something I was guarding has----"

Pulling out a bottle from nowhere Aurora sighed and sat down.

"THEN DRINK WITH ME LITTLE BUNNY!"

"I'm a stuffed animal..."

"Nobodies perfect!"

Somewhere a girl with two toned hair sneezed in rage.

"Look, can you help me, if I don't hurry back my master will be mad!
Oh and uh there isn't a rave party over.. oh, there but where I am going there sure is one!
Yep the sweetest of raves, they sure are dank!"

Obviously a lie that poor wouldn't work on such an intelligent spirit.

"HELL YEAH LEAD THE WAY!"

Or it would work flawlessly for no reason at all except to move the plot along. Following the plush rabbit, Aurora would make sure to note that she wasn't crazy and that she had just held a conversation with a stuffed animal. Oh well, at least it was celestial spirit college where she experimented a bit, this was a spooky forest with talking trees in it, far less absurd.

---

[497 post wc]
[1040/3000]

Tiny things littered the ground, smashed for the most part like a game of Whack-A-Mole taken too seriously. As far as Shade was concerned though they could lay there and rot because she’d been fine with one or two squirrels spazzing at her, and didn’t mind the pair of sparrows flittering about obviously trying to escape. However when the forest seemed to make a habit of spewing them at random from trees at her the summoner started taking a bit of umbrage. Calling Morgana to her side, the white haired girl had it take on it’s…questionable hammer form: the Lollipop Hammer. Brilliant and rainbow, and utterly delicious looking she’d used it to start swatting the panicked things that dared beeline for her, as if somehow that might help their plight.

At this point the only thing worse would be if a scavenger or predator became diabetic because of her actions.

Unimportant matters aside she’d only had to smack some sense into a single wolf thus far, the creature a bit confused between frights, a mild concussion, and probably a bit perturbed at the sudden stickiness matting some of its fur that it opted to give the girl a wider birth and scurry away. For the most part it sounded like other denizens continued to run away from some epicenter and much to her ire, that remained the direction Shade traveled. Boots scraped along in the tall grass, a bit annoyed how sometimes the blades tried to stroke the skin above her ankles. It was cold, and therefore ticklish, an irksome and “light” thing to happen when she faced the serious connotations of one of her many anchors running amok.

One sound though rang out suddenly in the air, causing pearly white teeth to grit and she thought with venom, ’Vulcans. I hate Vulcans…’ A truly despicable species she wouldn’t mind seeing eradicated from the face of this planet, or perhaps from every plane of existence. In this moment of curling her lip in disgust she finally spotted one of her targets: a certain plush rabbit. He stood as one of her more realistic works since she needed him to watch and protect one of her forests, but on close inspection the beady eyes and stitching would be hard to miss even without seeing the real deal. More curiously though he appeared to have someone in tow behind him, or accompanying him at any rate towards the cause of disturbance.

Moose tucked under one hand and oversized lollipop in the other Shade raced towards them, ”There you are-“ unable to make it to the rabbit’s name the one thing she despised in the whole world leapt out of some rustling trees.

A Vulcan.

The fury of a thousand fiery hot suns coursed through the girl’s veins in that moment as her speed kicked up and she executed a high jump she probably shouldn’t have managed. Nervous CM continuing to rattle under one arm she brought the thin side of the lollipop hammer down hard on the ape-man’s head, the beast’s heart eyes and teeth cracking from the sheer force and a small part of her hard-candy hammer even chipped. That would not be enough to represent her sheer dislike of the race though as it shifted forms, hand moving as she kept the black moose pinned to her body and began rapid firing bullets into the vulcan’s head and body with a relentless trigger finger. ”NOT TODAY BANANA-BREATH! THERE’LL BE NO SKIRT CHECKS FOR YOU ASSHOLE! MINE OR HER’S!” In all fairness though he’d spotted the green-haired girl well before Shade.

So locked in her furious rampage upon every inch of the Vulcan’s carcass she failed to notice how one of the trees nearby lit up a little and obtained a potentially evil (or lecherous) face.

The rabbit was telling tales of how the forest was in trouble and how a fiend was preparing to take over, but all Aurora could think about was how the rave hadn't happened yet. Was there even a sweet rave party at all? Had the rabbit lied to her? Was the tootsie pop unable to be licked? All of these stupid questions and more would probably never be answered as the young (in spirit) spirit walked throughout the forest, trying to keep pace with the panicked stuffed animal. The panic grew even fiercer with a white flash cut down some monkey thing. Apparently, the monkey wanted Aurora's skirt, she couldn't blame the thing, she did have a really nice skirt. At least Aurora thought it was really nice, so if some monkey thought it was nice too then he might deserve to touch the skirt. Then again he might be some weird stalker or something so maybe it wasn't a good idea. Either way, she would be able to save her liquor for later, since she wouldn't have to share it with some frisky monkey.

"So... that looks like a delicious stick. How many smacks till the enemy gets to the tootsie center?"

It was a random question but Aurora was a random girl. She didn't need to make sense for a question to be good, she just had to make it as strange as possible. Aurora could always just blame it on the alcohol in the end anyway, not that it mattered really. This girl seemed to be a bit off her rocker in the first place, using such a delicious treat to beat another creature, that certainly took some creative if not a lot of screws loose in the noggin.

"I mean, I guess it's fine to be crazy enough to use a treat as a weapon. Seemed to have worked out though, that Vulcan really..."

Without even knowing what she was doing, Aurora gave a might smack to the tree that was nearby Shade, causing the tree to explode and it faces reflect in sheer terror reminiscent of this face as it suddenly saw its life flash before its eyes. Not only had it never gone to college but the children it never knew were off being deadbeats somewhere else in the forest. It had so much to live for, it's life could have been so much more, would it have known the touch of another if it had just focused on them more? Would it have managed to get that job it always wanted? With a shatter of splinters, the tree flew everywhere, proving that its bark was worse than it's bite.

"Barked up the wrong tree! Get it cause he's a Vulcan and... so uh? Wait what are you doing out here aside from random vulcancide? Are you here for the sweet forest animal rave party too? That would be totally awesome!"

[487 post wc]
[2162/3000]

Had she heard the first question, Shade might’ve devolved into quite the fit of giggles. Unfortunately it fell on deafened ears, the sounds of rapid fire bullets too immediately present, but a few giggles could be heard from a sudden gaggle of plushy beings that’d appeared in a pile. Even the usually nervous moose that was CM found himself chuckling like a child at the statement.

Once – and only once – the Vulcan found itself reduced to an indiscernible bloody, pulpy pile did Shade’s attention bloom beyond the narrow scope it’d been. Suddenly the summoner realized she was still in a forest – briefly somehow sure she’d been back in town – and that her missing guardian just so happened to be here. With company.

And the tree.

Ex-Tree.

All that remained was a slab of bark big enough for a vanity mirror reflecting the final face the tree made. Admiring the quality of detail (though she sincerely doubted she’d be slapping faces on the trees, whoever caused it to come alive provided an interesting treasure for her realm out of it) Shade’s gaze turned towards the other entity. A mixture of a giggle and snort (the infamous gigglesnort) escaped at the pun before considering the chick’s question. Rave party? So preoccupied with the conundrum of one of her precious trees getting up and walking off Shade simply hadn’t owned a moment long enough to find out about a “rave party.”

”I’d love to go to the party!” she blurted with glee, a smile immediately replacing the plain, almost confused expression she bore before, ”Where is it?”

In that moment the little guardian plush rabbit knew fear, imaginary rivulets racing down its fur as it could only imagine the monstrous levels of disappointment his master might experience at learning…there wasn’t one. It’d been a…well not really “clever” ruse so much as just a ruse to get her to tag along and perhaps get to some place safer, maybe help find the tree, and apparently that goal had been met. The problem though is that the little fellow hadn’t expected to find his master before dealing with the problem if she hadn’t, nor for this girl to blurt about a party.

Oh boy. He was in for a rearranging. Poor little Esquire would cease to exist soon after this moment and so the rabbit hung his head in shame.

His thoughts couldn’t be private, those sharp violet eyes turning on him far too quickly, expression hardening and eyebrows frowning, ”What do you mean there isn’t a ‘sweet rave party,’ Esquire?” No, this simply would not do, after a stressful time a party sounded like just the thing right now. Inhaling and hands sitting on her hips, she regarded the other girl with a serious expression, ”Do you know of a sweet rave party nearby? If not then I suppose we could make do with tea and crumpets in my realm, and anything else you might have to contribute as well!”

"I thought the rabbit knew where the party was, and there isn't a sweet rave party? Then why were all the animals running away? That's disappointing."

Aurora was very sad, it would have been cool to see a bunch of little animals dancing it off and having fun to some sick beats, but alas it looks like there was no such thing happening. This was a huge disappointment and while tea sounded good Aurora wished to get a bit wasted and dance her booty off, even if she was a bit lacking in that department right now. Sadly it seemed this entire trip was a waste right now, no party and all Aurora had done was punch a tree in the face... wait when did trees have faces? How did a tree have a face? That doesn't make any sense, trees don't have feelings how could they have faces? Or was it they aren't really sentient? Did you have to have feelings to be sentient? Possibly, you could probably also just be some form of sick creepy 300-year-old weird creature that liked to stuff people's faces into dolls or something too and would be sentient. Not that something like that existed, just like trees that were self-aware! Bam problem solved.

"I suppose, though I tend to like to get drunk rather than sip tea so that could be a bit of a problem unless you are of age to drink... or not I'm not your mom. Wait I've got it! We could help all of the little woodland creatures get drunk and then make a sweet rave tea party! We could sit around enjoying treats while all of the animals were running around wasted! This is the most responsible and best idea I've ever had."

It was a brilliant plan that Aurora had just come up, she could even be the beatboxer if she really tried hard enough. Yes, this plan would get them far, drunken animals and crumpets it was the best plan ever, though Aurora was forgetting about something important, something about a tree which was tormenting; oh, it didn't matter, Aurora just wanted to see a drunk squirrel try and climb something. Some might say that is a cruel desire but people need to remember that more often than not Aurora was that squirrel climbing something and not knowing what she was doing.

---

[396]
[3058/3000]

The girl appeared rather disappointed or disheartened – not like Shade was good at discerning the difference…if there was one – and the white haired girl couldn’t blame her. This poor person found out her promised party proved null and void, a false excuse to gain her assistance, or so the summoner determined. While Shade might never have known her mother and father, she felt pretty sure this girl wasn’t it, unknowingly taking that statement perhaps a tinge too honestly. Though… ”What you add to your tea is your business, be it sugar, honey, or booze: or hell what you put in the tea cup is up to you!” As someone who enjoyed fine China she might’ve filched a set or few in her time in the mortal realm so she held quite the collection. It proved a grander sight than her wine cup or beer mug selection (sitting somewhere around zero the girl felt pretty sure).

However she mentally applauded the other’s creativity, a smile forming on her porcelain features as her new companion’s features shifted back to happy. What could she say? The enthusiasm was infectious like the common cold. Even Shade experienced a rising excitement for this shindig, no doubt her little denizens about to run amok in her realm with all sorts of shenanigans and ridiculous ventures for reasons that only made sense to the living and not so much the dead. However they latched onto any and every reason to “let loose.”

Bacchus himself would likely come a knockin’ to join, or so Shade liked to imagine as they set off to have the dankest of times.