Parting Ways and Mending Wounds{1}|Private|

It had been four days

Rei hadn't been feeling well since it all happened...

She was constantly overwhelmed by so many emotions for no reason whatsoever, she was running into walls she couldn't see. she struggled tremendously to do things even a simple things a child could do better than she could. she hated to admit it... she was practically handicapped.

At her home where she lived with Neyvahn, they had a few training dummies in their back yard. she had already dropped a glass bowl and had gotten another one, misjudged the distance causing her cereal and milk to spill all over the counter. While she was cleaning it up, she watched as Neyvahn walked by with his usual cup of lemonade iced tea. She was hoping he'd help her out...but he didn't even seem to glance at her. What did she expect? he always acted this way. He was... never there for her, she always took care of herself if she was sick, or usually if something happened he'd take a job and be gone for a few days to a week. The thought of it all made her heart wrench, and she was eventually able to clean it up with much difficulty using her one arm and terrible vision.

After she had finally cleaned up her mess, Rei decided it would be nice to go outside to get her emotions out on the dummies. she stood in front of one of them, curling her left hand into a fist, and with all the raging emotions going on inside of her she let it fly.

she hit nothing.

nothing, nothing at all. she was stunned... it was just one punch! even a child could punch a bag full of sand!

Rei scoffed in her disbelief... she could do it. she was better than this... wasn't she? she drew back her fist again and threw it forward, the force of it going through thin air made her spin around in a circle. her disbelief, anger, and self doubt were all fighting within her almost to the extreme. "its not true!" she said quietly, before looking up again and throwing another kick at the dummy. its as if it was a phantom and her attempts to hit it were just going right through. "ITS NOT TRUE!" she screamed, she was way too far away from it... but to her it looked so close. her punches were awkward thanks to her less dominant arm who was getting used to being alone. she kicked and punched at the stationary sack with no luck whatsoever. by this point, she had been out there for at least two hours, trying her hardest to hit it. she couldn't hold it back any longer, she let dears stream down from her eye. she stood there sniffling, before she dropped to her knees. "I-I...cant even.." she wiped her face using her arm, wrapping her arm around herself for comfort. this was pathetic... she had always been pathetic! she was even before these injuries, she had never EVER in her life, managed to walk away from an even matched fight. but why? all these other mages in the guild were so strong, and yet she couldn't even pour herself a bowl of cereal properly. what was wrong with her? why? WHY? WHY!?

Rei sat in the grass in complete and utter inner turmoil with herself, when she heard footsteps on the porch..

Neyvahn watched from the porch as Rei fell to her knees. She had changed. Everything she did just wasn't her... It wasn't just the fact that she had been physically disabled, she had turned sour. Even her aura was different. Instead of the calm, rhythmic tone he was familiar with, Rei's aura collapsed, falling into chaos and confusion. A mixture of dull and dark colors cut through her and stained her being. Neyvahn didn't know what was happening, nor did he understand how to fix it.

He stayed away from her in hopes that the wave would ride itself out. No need for him to intervene on something that would fix itself. Besides, even if he wanted to, he wouldn't be able to spare the time or patience to help her. Job after job, risking his life to keep their comfortable lifestyle. Surely Rei would be able to take care of herself... or at least that was what Neyvahn thought until he saw Rei losing herself over a stupid training dummy.

Neyvahn sipped his lemonade iced tea and walked down the steps towards Rei. "What are you doing, Rei?" he questioned. "You should be recovering, not wasting your energy on training." Still holding his drink, Neyvahn looked at the training dummy. No marks, no indents, no nothing. Then his gaze shifted down to Rei... one arm, one eye. Truth be told, he's surprised that she still has both her legs. Neyvahn groaned, looking up into the sky. "How can you expect that wound to heal if you keep flailing it around like that?"

Kei finally decided to speak up. "Hey brother? Don't you think that's a bit harsh?"

In response, Neyvahn just sipped from his lemonade iced tea nonchalantly. "She has to pick herself up. If I keep doing it for her, then she'll never learn how to live without a crutch."

"I can see what you're trying to prove, but it's still a little-"

"Kei," the silver-haired bakeneko growled. "This is not your concern. Just shut up and stay away from this."

Neyvahn looked back down at Rei on the verge of tears. Maybe Kei was right. He was being a little harsh. Besides, he could always... no, he had to do this. Otherwise, Rei would just be a nuisance for the rest of her life. Neyvahn didn't care if he was being harsh, Rei would be better off because of it, and she'd learn to look forward on her own.

Rei gritted her teeth at his words, it added another level of confusion within her. why would he act like this? aren't they supposed to support each other? Rei knew in the past she had saved his life as well and nursed him back to health.. why was he avoiding her? why was he being... such a jerk?! why was he doing ANY of the things he was doing!?

Her face was covered by her hair as she managed to stand, stumbling a little. "...how..the hell could you say that!?" she looked up at him, pure hurt, confusion, anger, sadness, and so many other emotions seems to be violently mixed together and were about to explode, Ney just lit the fuse.

It was like something else was awakening inside her, something that shouldn't be there. She began to shake, as if she was frightened by Ney, but she still looked ready to fight him out of rage. "do you even care, anymore!?" her voice was getting louder and her words deeper. "EVER since we've gotten back you've been acting like I don't EXIST! you've barely spoken a word to me and the moment I feel good enough to start training again you MOCK me for it!? who the hell do you think you are!?" she kept walking towards him almost hesitantly, like a very false sense of terrified confidence mocked by her anger. "I'M TRYING MY BEST! You know how hard it is to be forced to use everything with one arm, not being able to see things and running into fucking walls like some sort of disabled child!? THIS ISN'T EASY! and you just come out here, thinking you can say THAT!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" all her emotions were taking over her as she tried to push him back. she was aiming for his chest, but she missed, instead she still wasn't close enough to make contact with him. he just witnessed for himself how pathetic she was.. knowing he was farther away than she thought he was, she just rushed forward and slammed her body into him in hopes to push him back out of rage. but his feet didn't move, not even a centimeter to catch his balance.

Neyvahn's expression began to turn sour. As he thought... Rei had changed. She spat venom at him, even going as far as to try to push him back, but her arm never touched him. She was breaking down, and it was because Neyvahn went up and talked to her. Like he thought, he should have just left her be. Suddenly, she ran forward and tried to push him over. Her body slammed against him and she pushed herself against him. However, the sudden aggression snapped something in Neyvahn. He dropped his glass and grabbed her wrist, stepping backwards and pulling her off balance. Neyvahn didn't want this kind of talk from her... not after all he's done towards helping her recover. She needed to be taught.

Rei stumbled towards him, caught off balance. Neyvahn bared his fangs as he brought his knee up to her stomach. Immediately after that, Neyvahn swept her legs out from under her and sent her crashing into the ground.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" Neyvahn hissed as his fangs gleamed in the sunlight. "You're asking what's wrong with me!? What's wrong with me!? Had you not forced yourself into trouble, we wouldn't be in this situation now, would we!?" Neyvahn knelt down on Rei's stomach. "Not only that, but you would be dead without me! You blatantly get yourself into situations you know you can't win!! When we were fighting with Lucius, why couldn't you just keep yourself out of it!? If... if you had let me handle it, THEN YOU WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SITUATION!!!" The poisonous words shot from Neyvahn's mouth, one after another. He stood up and grabbed Rei by the collar, pulling her close. He glared her in the eyes and growled low in his throat. "So why are you asking what the hell is wrong with me?" Neyvahn shoved Rei away and stormed away, not even bothering to pick up his glass.

Rei watched in horror as he kicked her to the ground like a street rat. He'd never treated her like that before... his words were full of venom as he spat them out at her one by one. Each word took a toll on her already breaking soul. But despite how scared she really was of him, knowing what he was capable of... all the things she wanted to tell him couldn't be bottled up inside anymore. as he lifted her up by her collar, now that she knew exactly how close he was because he was holding her up an arms length away from himself, she managed to lift her leg around and kick him in the face, forcing him to let go of her as she had her turn to spit back at him. 

"I'm asking you because its TRUE! I saved you life! I DID! way before you EVER saved me!" she scolded, "remember that job we went on so long ago!? you would have died because of your own arrogance! YOU let you emotions control you, Connor would have killed you if i wouldn't have gotten in the way! I carried you to a safe place, within inches of your own life, with several broken bones of my own. But at least I cared enough to do that for you!" she literally spat her words out at him, "and yes my first fight with lucius was my own fault, but if it wasn't for you.. I'D STILL HAVE MY FUCKING ARM! I NEVER ASKED YOU TO FIGHT HIM, DID I? THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOU WERE TOO PRIDEFUL TO JUST LET IT GO! YOU JUST HAD TO FIGHT HIM, HAD TO GET YOURSELF KILLED FOR NO FUCKING GOOD REASON! YOU JUST WANTED TO FIGHT HIM BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO FIGHT! NOT TO AVENGE ME!....if you really cared about me, you would have just STAYED OUT OF IT! KEEPING ME SAFE BY STAYING AWAY FROM HIM! HE DIDN'T WANT TO ATTACK US! YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF THIS!" She tried to throw another punch at him and missed, then a kick. she knew it was hopeless to try and hurt him but she wanted to so bad. he was so blind

The silver-haired Bakeneko recoiled back when Rei kicked him in the face. He released her collar and stepped back. Neyvahn didn't want to talk anymore. It was useless trying to make Rei understand, and her pathetic attempts to harm him were irritating. Neyvahn spat out a little blood from his mouth, staring at it as it stained the grass and slowly killed it. Rei's words echoed in the back of his mind, but he couldn't make them out.

She continued to attack him verbally, blaming him for everything that happened. As if she wasn't the start of everything. "Brother! This is enough!" Kei yelled, attempting to take control of Neyvahn's body again. However, Neyvahn growled and kept his own control.

"Do not make me your enemy, Kei." Neyvahn clenched his fists and faced away from Rei. However, her last words stuck to his mind.

" YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF THIS!"

Neyvahn's nails broke through the skin of his palm at those words, even as Rei tried to attack him. He was the cause of it. "You're right," Neyvahn said, barely above a whisper. "I am the cause of everything... I am the reason you lost your arm, I am the reason you lost so much... but I am also the reason you were alive in the first place, remember?" Neyvahn's eyes slowly began to shimmer in the light. They stung ever so slightly. "A decade back, you were cornered... and you didn't know what to do, but you know what? I was there, and I jumped in... I even healed you in the hospital years later... and you know what? Those were the stupidest decisions I've ever made." Neyvahn looked down at Rei, unwavering and unloving.

"You're right. I am the cause of everything, so I should have just left... I should have left you to die." Neyvahn walked away. He was done. Rei didn't deserve his sympathy if this was how she was going to treat him.

Neyvahn didn't shout at her... but the words he spoke... They struck her harder than any  physical pain she had been ever been through...

"I should have left you to die."

"I should have left you to die."

"I should have left you to die."

...

Something had completely fallen void inside her with those seven words. If Neyvahn wouldn't have saved her... those bandits so long ago, would have beaten her to death. Was she really worth saving?

"of course not.."


"look at all the pain you've caused"


"its all really your fault"


"he wouldn't be like this if it wasn't for you"


"the world is much better off"


"better off without you"

it...
it really was all her fault...

All the horrible thoughts flooded in as the void within her had sucked the life from her. She should be dead... she should have died that day. its not like she ever proved to be useful to anyone. useless, hopeless, all the thoughts swarmed inside of her like a dark plague. her eye became suddenly void of all color, turning a dull shade of gray.

a cold tear fell from her face as she looked up at him. his back was turned, she could still feel him radiating with his rage for her. he had a good reason to, if he decided to kill her right now on the spot, she'd let him. but he didn't move. didn't even flinch, his ears didn't flinch to hear her last words. it was like it wasn't even her own voice anymore.

"your right.."
"you should've just left me to die."

and with that, she slowly walked through the back door, shutting it softly behind her before grabbing one of Neyvahn's old head to toe hoods. she pulled the hood over her head, and walked out the front door. taking nothing else with her.