''What a tiiiime to be alive'' the white haired smiling mage mumbled to himself as he seemed to ignore... no revell in the shocked looks that people the huge crowd gave him. He smiled even harder as he thought about what had caused this sudden attention... no admiration for him. Was it his stunning looks?? He did feel unusually handsome this morning, and he'd even taken a bath recently, with his hat on of course.
If so then he was in luck, in the middle of the crowd of weird looks stood, a particularly wide eyed, blonde beauuuuuutiful woman, and while all those parts were rather important (especially the woman part) the deciding factor was located a couple of decimetres below her neck in for of A huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge pair of pure round goodness. With a confident grin and a sweep of his fringe Ganch started moving towards the wide eyed girl, with a look like that she was either really into him, or she was having a stroke.... it was a win win really. If he wouldnt be getting suffocated in the grand canyon he could at least take her to the hospital and get a fat mage paycheck. As he moved towards the girl he actually caught himself hoping for her to be having a stroke... not because he wanted women to suffer strokes but because he could use some well earned cash right now.
The famous mage and idol singer Stockfia Moechick was visiting town for a concert and he really wanted to go. Because of the.... music yes the music, he really appreciated the form and the size of her perfect..... SONGS. Too bad he would only be seeing... uhh hearing those songs on replay because he was BROKE with all capital letters to emphasize how broke he really was. Heck to any other show he would've sneaked in, but due to the sbeer amount of devoted fans stuffed into one place, it would be difficult without getting a mouthfull of nerd boot.
No if he was going to get in there then he needed cash, that could go straight to moechicks already sizeable..... bank account. With a quick slick of green he made his move.... and he instantly kicked something in the face by accident. He had thought it was a rock at first but when it started shouting and cursing at him he assumed that it had to be an illusive talking rock... He glared deep into the shiny flesh coloured dome as he reflected ln his luck, in seeing such a rare creature, this early into his journey, he truly was an explorer of legends.... But as the rock reached out an arm and started pulling his leg, he came to the conclusion that it was in fact not a talking rock, but a talking bald man.
Not as rare but beautiful nonetheless. That is when it hit him.... how had he just kicked a fully grown balding man in the face.... To think of it... why was everyone so short... he scratches his head as he completely ignored the shouting baldo. Was he perhaps... ganch looked down at his feet, and came to the ballbustingly obvious conclusion... that he was flying...
That explains the looks he thought as he chuckled at his own misfortune. He was so used to flying that he had gotten completely unaware of the fact that he was doing it in the first place.
Now while he found the situation more funny than stupid he still felt a little bad for the guy who he had just kicked in the face... heck he probably had enough problems dealing with his receeding hairline. So as an act of pity, and an act of getting the creepily shiny head to stop blinding him he spoke up.
'Heyheyheyhey mr, im sorry for mistaking you for a football, when you are very clearly a bowling ball. Now as it happens im not just some flying dickhole no, if you hadn't already guessed i am mage, and luckily for you im willing to help you out. For a payment ofcourse'' he mumbled the last bit, and the bald guy seemed sceptical at first, but when he came to terms with the fact that that only a mage would be stupid enough to fly around in the middle of a crowd without noticing it he lit up a bit, and he smiled a now toothless smile at ganch before nodding his head.
''Well there is something you can do... '' he said while blushing his middle aged face off.
Ganch reeled back in horror from the cutesy red colour of the bald mans cheeks but was quick to recover when he realised that mr bowling head was about to give him work. Ganch turned his smile from a toothfilled grin into a considerate smile as he listened to what he would be getting payed to do today. And he was delightfully suprised when the job not only related to his specialty of delivering stuff but it also had to do with the one and only Moechick. With a salute and a ''you got it'' he snatched the letter from the mans now outreached hands and created a green tailwind behind him as he zoomed away into the distance. Not only was delivering oldies fanmail going to be fast money, but it would also be an excuse to meet the one and only moechick in person. Thankfully his previous nightly perverted escapades had given him the select knowledge on where she was currently staying. The five star inn known only as, thedrunkengoatsmotherssister. The name was pretty shitty but their service was great. He'd gotten to know as he usually went down to the lobby for a drink after a night of getting smacked by flustered towel wearing women. This was were all the rich cats lived, and if he knew anything about moechick it was that she had a massive... (you know the drill) bank accoint.
With the grace of a flustered seagull he burst trough the flip doors of the establishment, causing the lobbyists to sigh deeply. Ganch smiled at the similarly aged brown haired employees before preparing his very sneaky information claiming technuiqe. While he knew or rather assumesnthat she lived here, he had no idea of what room. This would require masterful detective skills and god like persuasion. Since she was likely under some sorta non disclosure agreeent to prevent things like thsi from happening. After preparing his killer lines, he walked right up to the clerks to start unloading his master piece...
But before he could open his mouth one ofnthe clerks said. ''Moechick lives on the second floor, in room six.'' Ganch was baffled at first and simply just responded with a confused ''uhhh thanks??'' before floating his way towards the stairs. Did that guy know some kinda mind reading magic?? He thought to himself as he floated up the stairs.
One clerk looked up to the other with a confused look but before he could say anything the clerk who had given out the information said '' She has a pair of buff bodyguard dudes outside of her door. I know she asked to be private but after all the female guests he's scares away i really just want that white haired dude to get his ass kicked.'' He said beforen going back to staring into nothingness as the npc scum he was.
Ganch just got up the stairs when he was met by the sight of two, huuuuge suit wearing guys standing outside of one of the doors. He sighed and held back the nasuea as he got back onto his feet. The unfamiliarity of walking hit him like a ton of bricks as he started stumbling down the corridor. He'd stopped flying to attract less suspicion but by the way he was walking now, he might as well have been both flying and naked instead. After what felt like ages of stumbling down an endless corridor, he ended up standing in front of the two suit wearing guys, perpetually catching his breath like if he had just ran a god damn marathon. The brutes looked down at him occacionally but ultimately seemed more interrested in staring at the air molecules infront of them.
After finally catching his breath ganch grabbed the pink letter from his pocket and reached it out to one of the bug guys. ''Here, mail for miss moechick'' he said with a naseous tone in his voice. The big guys just kinda stared at the letter for a second or two before shaking their heada and going back to staring out inro the air. What the hell? Ganch thoight to himself while looking down at the letter. Was there something wrong with it or what. Naah there couldnt be it was clearly just a normal letter.
Ganch regained his breath, and kept fighting his will to throw up while repeating the action once again
''Here, mail for miss moechick'' he said but the guards reacted the same way. By just staring.... and then ignoring. Ganch was getting both more and more frustrated as well as more and more naseous as time went on, and by the time he'd tried the same procces another two times like a madman he was on the verge of throwing up. And he wasnt having it, this letter was being delivered, no matter how beefy the guards at the door were, he was a former delivery boy after all, and he couldnt let himself be defeated by some suit wearing brutes. No he was going to have to resort to magic.
With a small hand motion he cast the spell, verdant orb about six metres down the corridor to create a small green orb of condensed air. Then after a little while of letting it get really beefy, he detonated the orb, causing a loud but unharmful explosion. The budy guard instincts of the beef bros kicked in and they immediately stepped away from the door to check if their client was in danger, that is when ganch cast verdant orb once again, only this time it was behind him. Before the guards could react the second orb detonated sending Ganch flying in trough the door with a loud crash while screaming. ''MAIL FOR MISS MOECHICK'
He looked around the room quickly to spot his target and hands down favourite waifu but all he saw was a middle aged grey haired fat lady.... Had he gone trough all thay effort only to find the wrong room?? Had the clerks seriously tricked him. He scuffled to get up onto his feet but it was too late as the guards had reacted to the explosion and the sound of their screaming client. And were already storming into the room, with their fists flying high. The woman just pointed at the bold mage and screamed before the big guys grabbed him, gave him a black eye, and chucked him out the window head first.
Most people would be scared when getting thrown out of a winow, but ganch was just happy that he'd finally gotten of the ground. With a unusualy unenthusiastic smile, he caught himself mid air, and flew his way as far away from the hotel as possible, now ganch liked action and while kinda painful that same turn of events had been pretty amusing, and he found himself chuckling to himself as he slowly but surely floated his way back to the park, with his tail inbetween his legs. He had gotten plenty of fun already and he didnt feel like doing the job anymore, while he needed the money his enjoyment was more important and now when he didnt know where the target lived, he found the thought of knocking on every single door in every inn and hotel the town had to offer pretty damn boring, and the time it would take was defenitely not worth the petty little reward that he'd been offered.
After a loooong and relaxing search trough the skies he finally caught a glimpse of a familiar blinding forehead. If he wasnt going to do the job then he at least thought that the client should get to know. But as he swept down from the skies to deliver the bad news he was met with an array of cheer and praise so strong that it made that bald head shine even brighter.
'' Thank you soo much for your help mage, i was expecting to be ignored or maybe a shitty littke letter, but you have really outdome yourself'' he said while bouncing around excitedly ''no you must've misunderstood something your letter is...'' Ganch froze mid sentence as he reached into his pockets.... where the hell was that letter??? Had he dropped it somewhere on the way or had he perhaps... his thoughts were interruptrd by even more cheer as the baldo finished his sentence
"Delivered safely and extravagantly, she was so impressed with my ''dedication'' to get her the message that she has agreed on a date with me. Once again, thank you, thank you, thank you'''
At this point Ganch just stopped making sense ofnthe whole thing, apparently he had done the job, and done it well at that. He smiled and accepted the praise with much pride as the short baldo kept yapping away about how he and moechick were close childhood friends. That is when something hit him..... childhood friends??? But... moechick was way younger than this middle aged man right?? Or... he remembered the middleaged woman fromcthe hotel room and his face went pale white and his eyes expanded as he was stuck in a shocked and confused smile who had just realises that theor entore life was a lie....
''So whaddya say? You can have my ticket to her show too if you want, i wont need it anymore, since i have been invited to the vip room. ''
But just like the guards from the hotel, Ganch looked at the ticket for a second then he shook his head, ignored the baldie and floated away with his well deserved money and a deep feeling of uncleanliness.
He would need x amounts of cold showers to wash away the truth...
If so then he was in luck, in the middle of the crowd of weird looks stood, a particularly wide eyed, blonde beauuuuuutiful woman, and while all those parts were rather important (especially the woman part) the deciding factor was located a couple of decimetres below her neck in for of A huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge pair of pure round goodness. With a confident grin and a sweep of his fringe Ganch started moving towards the wide eyed girl, with a look like that she was either really into him, or she was having a stroke.... it was a win win really. If he wouldnt be getting suffocated in the grand canyon he could at least take her to the hospital and get a fat mage paycheck. As he moved towards the girl he actually caught himself hoping for her to be having a stroke... not because he wanted women to suffer strokes but because he could use some well earned cash right now.
The famous mage and idol singer Stockfia Moechick was visiting town for a concert and he really wanted to go. Because of the.... music yes the music, he really appreciated the form and the size of her perfect..... SONGS. Too bad he would only be seeing... uhh hearing those songs on replay because he was BROKE with all capital letters to emphasize how broke he really was. Heck to any other show he would've sneaked in, but due to the sbeer amount of devoted fans stuffed into one place, it would be difficult without getting a mouthfull of nerd boot.
No if he was going to get in there then he needed cash, that could go straight to moechicks already sizeable..... bank account. With a quick slick of green he made his move.... and he instantly kicked something in the face by accident. He had thought it was a rock at first but when it started shouting and cursing at him he assumed that it had to be an illusive talking rock... He glared deep into the shiny flesh coloured dome as he reflected ln his luck, in seeing such a rare creature, this early into his journey, he truly was an explorer of legends.... But as the rock reached out an arm and started pulling his leg, he came to the conclusion that it was in fact not a talking rock, but a talking bald man.
Not as rare but beautiful nonetheless. That is when it hit him.... how had he just kicked a fully grown balding man in the face.... To think of it... why was everyone so short... he scratches his head as he completely ignored the shouting baldo. Was he perhaps... ganch looked down at his feet, and came to the ballbustingly obvious conclusion... that he was flying...
That explains the looks he thought as he chuckled at his own misfortune. He was so used to flying that he had gotten completely unaware of the fact that he was doing it in the first place.
Now while he found the situation more funny than stupid he still felt a little bad for the guy who he had just kicked in the face... heck he probably had enough problems dealing with his receeding hairline. So as an act of pity, and an act of getting the creepily shiny head to stop blinding him he spoke up.
'Heyheyheyhey mr, im sorry for mistaking you for a football, when you are very clearly a bowling ball. Now as it happens im not just some flying dickhole no, if you hadn't already guessed i am mage, and luckily for you im willing to help you out. For a payment ofcourse'' he mumbled the last bit, and the bald guy seemed sceptical at first, but when he came to terms with the fact that that only a mage would be stupid enough to fly around in the middle of a crowd without noticing it he lit up a bit, and he smiled a now toothless smile at ganch before nodding his head.
''Well there is something you can do... '' he said while blushing his middle aged face off.
Ganch reeled back in horror from the cutesy red colour of the bald mans cheeks but was quick to recover when he realised that mr bowling head was about to give him work. Ganch turned his smile from a toothfilled grin into a considerate smile as he listened to what he would be getting payed to do today. And he was delightfully suprised when the job not only related to his specialty of delivering stuff but it also had to do with the one and only Moechick. With a salute and a ''you got it'' he snatched the letter from the mans now outreached hands and created a green tailwind behind him as he zoomed away into the distance. Not only was delivering oldies fanmail going to be fast money, but it would also be an excuse to meet the one and only moechick in person. Thankfully his previous nightly perverted escapades had given him the select knowledge on where she was currently staying. The five star inn known only as, thedrunkengoatsmotherssister. The name was pretty shitty but their service was great. He'd gotten to know as he usually went down to the lobby for a drink after a night of getting smacked by flustered towel wearing women. This was were all the rich cats lived, and if he knew anything about moechick it was that she had a massive... (you know the drill) bank accoint.
With the grace of a flustered seagull he burst trough the flip doors of the establishment, causing the lobbyists to sigh deeply. Ganch smiled at the similarly aged brown haired employees before preparing his very sneaky information claiming technuiqe. While he knew or rather assumesnthat she lived here, he had no idea of what room. This would require masterful detective skills and god like persuasion. Since she was likely under some sorta non disclosure agreeent to prevent things like thsi from happening. After preparing his killer lines, he walked right up to the clerks to start unloading his master piece...
But before he could open his mouth one ofnthe clerks said. ''Moechick lives on the second floor, in room six.'' Ganch was baffled at first and simply just responded with a confused ''uhhh thanks??'' before floating his way towards the stairs. Did that guy know some kinda mind reading magic?? He thought to himself as he floated up the stairs.
One clerk looked up to the other with a confused look but before he could say anything the clerk who had given out the information said '' She has a pair of buff bodyguard dudes outside of her door. I know she asked to be private but after all the female guests he's scares away i really just want that white haired dude to get his ass kicked.'' He said beforen going back to staring into nothingness as the npc scum he was.
Ganch just got up the stairs when he was met by the sight of two, huuuuge suit wearing guys standing outside of one of the doors. He sighed and held back the nasuea as he got back onto his feet. The unfamiliarity of walking hit him like a ton of bricks as he started stumbling down the corridor. He'd stopped flying to attract less suspicion but by the way he was walking now, he might as well have been both flying and naked instead. After what felt like ages of stumbling down an endless corridor, he ended up standing in front of the two suit wearing guys, perpetually catching his breath like if he had just ran a god damn marathon. The brutes looked down at him occacionally but ultimately seemed more interrested in staring at the air molecules infront of them.
After finally catching his breath ganch grabbed the pink letter from his pocket and reached it out to one of the bug guys. ''Here, mail for miss moechick'' he said with a naseous tone in his voice. The big guys just kinda stared at the letter for a second or two before shaking their heada and going back to staring out inro the air. What the hell? Ganch thoight to himself while looking down at the letter. Was there something wrong with it or what. Naah there couldnt be it was clearly just a normal letter.
Ganch regained his breath, and kept fighting his will to throw up while repeating the action once again
''Here, mail for miss moechick'' he said but the guards reacted the same way. By just staring.... and then ignoring. Ganch was getting both more and more frustrated as well as more and more naseous as time went on, and by the time he'd tried the same procces another two times like a madman he was on the verge of throwing up. And he wasnt having it, this letter was being delivered, no matter how beefy the guards at the door were, he was a former delivery boy after all, and he couldnt let himself be defeated by some suit wearing brutes. No he was going to have to resort to magic.
With a small hand motion he cast the spell, verdant orb about six metres down the corridor to create a small green orb of condensed air. Then after a little while of letting it get really beefy, he detonated the orb, causing a loud but unharmful explosion. The budy guard instincts of the beef bros kicked in and they immediately stepped away from the door to check if their client was in danger, that is when ganch cast verdant orb once again, only this time it was behind him. Before the guards could react the second orb detonated sending Ganch flying in trough the door with a loud crash while screaming. ''MAIL FOR MISS MOECHICK'
He looked around the room quickly to spot his target and hands down favourite waifu but all he saw was a middle aged grey haired fat lady.... Had he gone trough all thay effort only to find the wrong room?? Had the clerks seriously tricked him. He scuffled to get up onto his feet but it was too late as the guards had reacted to the explosion and the sound of their screaming client. And were already storming into the room, with their fists flying high. The woman just pointed at the bold mage and screamed before the big guys grabbed him, gave him a black eye, and chucked him out the window head first.
Most people would be scared when getting thrown out of a winow, but ganch was just happy that he'd finally gotten of the ground. With a unusualy unenthusiastic smile, he caught himself mid air, and flew his way as far away from the hotel as possible, now ganch liked action and while kinda painful that same turn of events had been pretty amusing, and he found himself chuckling to himself as he slowly but surely floated his way back to the park, with his tail inbetween his legs. He had gotten plenty of fun already and he didnt feel like doing the job anymore, while he needed the money his enjoyment was more important and now when he didnt know where the target lived, he found the thought of knocking on every single door in every inn and hotel the town had to offer pretty damn boring, and the time it would take was defenitely not worth the petty little reward that he'd been offered.
After a loooong and relaxing search trough the skies he finally caught a glimpse of a familiar blinding forehead. If he wasnt going to do the job then he at least thought that the client should get to know. But as he swept down from the skies to deliver the bad news he was met with an array of cheer and praise so strong that it made that bald head shine even brighter.
'' Thank you soo much for your help mage, i was expecting to be ignored or maybe a shitty littke letter, but you have really outdome yourself'' he said while bouncing around excitedly ''no you must've misunderstood something your letter is...'' Ganch froze mid sentence as he reached into his pockets.... where the hell was that letter??? Had he dropped it somewhere on the way or had he perhaps... his thoughts were interruptrd by even more cheer as the baldo finished his sentence
"Delivered safely and extravagantly, she was so impressed with my ''dedication'' to get her the message that she has agreed on a date with me. Once again, thank you, thank you, thank you'''
At this point Ganch just stopped making sense ofnthe whole thing, apparently he had done the job, and done it well at that. He smiled and accepted the praise with much pride as the short baldo kept yapping away about how he and moechick were close childhood friends. That is when something hit him..... childhood friends??? But... moechick was way younger than this middle aged man right?? Or... he remembered the middleaged woman fromcthe hotel room and his face went pale white and his eyes expanded as he was stuck in a shocked and confused smile who had just realises that theor entore life was a lie....
''So whaddya say? You can have my ticket to her show too if you want, i wont need it anymore, since i have been invited to the vip room. ''
But just like the guards from the hotel, Ganch looked at the ticket for a second then he shook his head, ignored the baldie and floated away with his well deserved money and a deep feeling of uncleanliness.
He would need x amounts of cold showers to wash away the truth...
