“Greetings humans. I have been informed that I am to tickle your funny bones. In order to begin I must inquire where these bones are located so I may commence with the tickling.” The crowd burst into laughter at that, causing Suzuran confusion. She knew the definition of what they did, but she did not understand what she had said was funny. She got out her note pad and pencil, drawing a stick figure. “Where would the funny bone be on this picture?” In hearing the crowd only begin to laugh harder she then jumped off the stage and handed the note pad to someone who was laughing. “Draw in X in the location of the funny bone. It is a requirement of the job.”
Her voice was completely deadpan, and expression motionless as she spoke these jokes, as would it be throughout the entire performance. Odds were that they would think that that was all it was- a performance. But it was real as real could get. There was something about her that fell somewhat into the uncanny valley, despite her human exterior there was a certain something missing. But these drunk patrons weren’t being all that observant.
“Lady you are!” Said the laughing patron. Suzuran blinked owlishly. Only a few seconds in and she already had successfully told a joke? She hadn’t even done that one on purpose.
“I’m what?” It took her a second to process it. “A funny bone? That’s not possible. I’m an ice elemental.” I have no bones.”
She then started to take notes. “Tell me more about this funny bone. Do you humans have a non-corporeal skeleton somewhere? I have a bone slayer guild member who may find this information quite useful.” The crowd continued to laugh. Had Suzuran adequate control or understanding of expressions she would have looked annoyed at this point. She was trying to ask a question and they were just laughing at her in response. Which she supposed was good enough. That was her job after all. “These funny bones of yours seem to be easily stimulated, resulting in a reduction of oxygen consumption. Cessation of laughter is recommended as of immediately in order to retain health and livelihood.”
The crowd started laughing a little bit less at that, but their maws were still curved up in what Suzuran knew to be smiles. “In the animal kingdom your smiles would be considered a threat.” She stated. More of an interesting tidbit than anything else. As the crowd calmed down she decided it was time for another joke.
“I have been told that the following description I had written for Black Rose for a job of mine is quite funny. I shall read it now.” She flipped to another page in her note book and began to read what was on the page in the same deadpan voice she had been using for the whole performance.
“My guild, by technical definition, is our guildmaster’s harem. This is the best definition of Black Rose I have to offer you. They are mostly inhuman, or at least only partially human. The majority of them seem to be able to shift between their animal forms and their human forms. According to my studies, due to the spring season it is likely that they are all currently rutting. I expect the population to increase soon. Nothel I know has blood magic, Aether has these tentacles on this back, and that’s all I know for magic for my guild.”
The crowd giggled at that, despite being confused at what she meant to say by the last part. Suzuran had directly quoted what she had told to the man for his almanac, even the non-funny stuff.
“Oh my god. Oh my god.” A person shouted as they started laughing like crazy.
“That’s just what Kakuma kept on saying.” Suzuran said, pointing at the person in the audience, making the crowd go wild.
“Okay now Suzuran, that’s good enough. Please though, feel welcome to come back at any time.” Said the night club owner. “Ladies and gentlemen, Suzuran Hifume!”
“I told five jokes?” Suzuran asked, her deadpan expression failing to convey her bafflement at hearing this. She’d just been talking. Apparently she was funny?
He then started leading her out with a hand on her shoulder, thunderous applaud following her out. “You told enough.” He chuckled. She grabbed the rims of her hat and pulled them over her eyes and ears, the sound of the clapping confusing her.
Her voice was completely deadpan, and expression motionless as she spoke these jokes, as would it be throughout the entire performance. Odds were that they would think that that was all it was- a performance. But it was real as real could get. There was something about her that fell somewhat into the uncanny valley, despite her human exterior there was a certain something missing. But these drunk patrons weren’t being all that observant.
“Lady you are!” Said the laughing patron. Suzuran blinked owlishly. Only a few seconds in and she already had successfully told a joke? She hadn’t even done that one on purpose.
“I’m what?” It took her a second to process it. “A funny bone? That’s not possible. I’m an ice elemental.” I have no bones.”
She then started to take notes. “Tell me more about this funny bone. Do you humans have a non-corporeal skeleton somewhere? I have a bone slayer guild member who may find this information quite useful.” The crowd continued to laugh. Had Suzuran adequate control or understanding of expressions she would have looked annoyed at this point. She was trying to ask a question and they were just laughing at her in response. Which she supposed was good enough. That was her job after all. “These funny bones of yours seem to be easily stimulated, resulting in a reduction of oxygen consumption. Cessation of laughter is recommended as of immediately in order to retain health and livelihood.”
The crowd started laughing a little bit less at that, but their maws were still curved up in what Suzuran knew to be smiles. “In the animal kingdom your smiles would be considered a threat.” She stated. More of an interesting tidbit than anything else. As the crowd calmed down she decided it was time for another joke.
“I have been told that the following description I had written for Black Rose for a job of mine is quite funny. I shall read it now.” She flipped to another page in her note book and began to read what was on the page in the same deadpan voice she had been using for the whole performance.
“My guild, by technical definition, is our guildmaster’s harem. This is the best definition of Black Rose I have to offer you. They are mostly inhuman, or at least only partially human. The majority of them seem to be able to shift between their animal forms and their human forms. According to my studies, due to the spring season it is likely that they are all currently rutting. I expect the population to increase soon. Nothel I know has blood magic, Aether has these tentacles on this back, and that’s all I know for magic for my guild.”
The crowd giggled at that, despite being confused at what she meant to say by the last part. Suzuran had directly quoted what she had told to the man for his almanac, even the non-funny stuff.
“Oh my god. Oh my god.” A person shouted as they started laughing like crazy.
“That’s just what Kakuma kept on saying.” Suzuran said, pointing at the person in the audience, making the crowd go wild.
“Okay now Suzuran, that’s good enough. Please though, feel welcome to come back at any time.” Said the night club owner. “Ladies and gentlemen, Suzuran Hifume!”
“I told five jokes?” Suzuran asked, her deadpan expression failing to convey her bafflement at hearing this. She’d just been talking. Apparently she was funny?
He then started leading her out with a hand on her shoulder, thunderous applaud following her out. “You told enough.” He chuckled. She grabbed the rims of her hat and pulled them over her eyes and ears, the sound of the clapping confusing her.
