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    Ankhseram Black Magic (アンクセラムの黒魔術 Ankuseramu no Kuro Majutsu)

    Makosuki
    Makosuki

    Player 
    Lineage : Demonic Carnage
    Position : None
    Posts : 72
    Guild : Garou Knights
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 25

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Take Over: God Soul
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Ankhseram Black Magic (アンクセラムの黒魔術 Ankuseramu no Kuro Majutsu) Empty Ankhseram Black Magic (アンクセラムの黒魔術 Ankuseramu no Kuro Majutsu)

    Post by Makosuki 11th February 2016, 9:03 pm

    Magic

    Primary Magic: Ankhseram Black Magic

    Secondary Magic: N/A
    Caster or Holder: Caster,Lost
    Description: Ankhseram Black Magic is a magic based all around death. Anything that makes contact with this magic withers and then ultimately dies. When it come in contact with humans, it slowly kills them or may instantly put them in a coma. The origin of the magic is unknown. Some say that it's the power of the Reaper himself, some say that it's a gift from the gods. Mako had learned the magic from her mother, who had known the magic for over 300 years. Once one has mastered the magic, they become a humongous threat, as the spells become bigger and more destructive. The one major drawback of the magic is that after it's first used, the caster loses two of their sense, as a "sacrifice".

    Mako doesn't use her magic very often as it is very destructive and deadly. Normally she will use it to quickly incapacitate her foes or if she's up against a strong opponent.
    Strengths:

    • Destructive
    • Damage over Time

    Weaknesses:

    • The user loses 2 major senses. In Mako's case, she has lost her taste and her touch.
    • Requires either an incantation or a specific motion to cast higher ranked spells.
    • Uncontrollable at times, allowing it to randomly kill of anything around Mako. Usually in time off great emotion.

    Lineage:
    Demonic Carnage:


    Unique Abilities:
    Immortality - The user of the Ankhseram Black Magic is induced with a curse, the Contradictory Curse, where the user is able to live forever and never age. They are even alive when their head is severed from their body. During PvP, if Makosuki is 'killed' she will resurrect the next post with 25% HP and 20% MP as well as all her spells, and active abilities will be put on cooldown

    Death Embodiement - Anything that makes contact with this magic withers and then ultimately dies. Able to be used on Weak and Normal enemies, while not able to use for PvP.



    Spells:

    D Rank:
    Spell Template:
    List of Spell Fusions:
    :


    Last edited by Makosuki on 14th February 2016, 2:34 pm; edited 3 times in total
    avatar
    Ninetails Derpfox

    Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Coming Storms- A-Rank- Rich- Veteran Level 1- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- X-Mas Event Participant- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Position : None
    Posts : 2261
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Soul
    Second Skill: Ice
    Third Skill:

    Ankhseram Black Magic (アンクセラムの黒魔術 Ankuseramu no Kuro Majutsu) Empty Re: Ankhseram Black Magic (アンクセラムの黒魔術 Ankuseramu no Kuro Majutsu)

    Post by Ninetails Derpfox 13th February 2016, 2:38 pm

    Alrightly, I'm gonna be grading you this time. My comments are all in this color.




    Makosuki wrote:Magic

    Primary Magic: Ankhseram Black Magic

    Secondary Magic: N/A
    Caster or Holder: Caster,Lost
    Description: Ankhseram Black Magic is a magic based all around death. Anything that makes contact with this magic withers and then ultimately dies. When it come in contact with humans, it slowly kills them or may instantly put them in a coma. I'd like you to expand on this. Additionally, the ability to kill things instantly is something I'd rather you list as a Unique Ability; for this it would only occur for weak enemies, and normal enemies. Strong/Boss rank NPC's would require less effort to kill, but it won't be a 1-shot KO. Additionally the ability wouldn't be able to be used for PvP purposes.

    As for expanding on it, I'd like you to list:
    - The Origin of the magic (not in great depth, just a few sentences)
    - How Makosuki learned it
    - Some of the stuff in your strengths/weakness section can be added in the description to help others understand the basis of the magic a bit more.


    Mako doesn't use her magic very often as it is very destructive and deadly. Normally she will use it to quickly incapacitate her foes or if she's up against a strong opponent.
    Strengths:

    • Destructive
    • Damage over Time

    Weaknesses:

    • The user loses 2 major senses. In Mako's case, she has lost her taste and her touch.
    • Requires either an incantation or a specific motion to cast higher ranked spells.
    • Uncontrollable at times, allowing it to randomly kill of anything around Mako. Usually in time off great emotion

    Lineage:
    Demonic Carnage:


    Unique Abilities:
    Immortality - The user of the Ankhseram Black Magic is induced with a curse, the Contradictory Curse, where the user is able to live forever and never age. They are even alive when their head is severed from their body. Having her head removed should have a draw back, like she has a very hard time moving about or something of that nature. Also I'm fine with her not being able to be truly killed, BUT I'd like you to add:
    "During PvP, if Guest is 'killed' she will resurrect the next post with 25% HP and 20% MP as well as all her spells, and active abilities will be put on cooldown"

    Next, I'd also like to let you know that you can register 2 more Unique Abilities. You also gain +1 unique ability per rank above D Rank. 




    Spells:

    D Rank:
    Spell Template:
    List of Spell Fusions:
    :
    Makosuki
    Makosuki

    Player 
    Lineage : Demonic Carnage
    Position : None
    Posts : 72
    Guild : Garou Knights
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 25

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Take Over: God Soul
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Ankhseram Black Magic (アンクセラムの黒魔術 Ankuseramu no Kuro Majutsu) Empty Re: Ankhseram Black Magic (アンクセラムの黒魔術 Ankuseramu no Kuro Majutsu)

    Post by Makosuki 14th February 2016, 5:00 pm

    bump


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    avatar
    Ninetails Derpfox

    Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Coming Storms- A-Rank- Rich- Veteran Level 1- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- X-Mas Event Participant- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Position : None
    Posts : 2261
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Soul
    Second Skill: Ice
    Third Skill:

    Ankhseram Black Magic (アンクセラムの黒魔術 Ankuseramu no Kuro Majutsu) Empty Re: Ankhseram Black Magic (アンクセラムの黒魔術 Ankuseramu no Kuro Majutsu)

    Post by Ninetails Derpfox 14th February 2016, 8:40 pm

    You still have 1x Unique Ability slot you can use up. If you don't want to fill it just let me know, otherwise I see no true issues I can stab at.
    Makosuki
    Makosuki

    Player 
    Lineage : Demonic Carnage
    Position : None
    Posts : 72
    Guild : Garou Knights
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 25

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Take Over: God Soul
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Ankhseram Black Magic (アンクセラムの黒魔術 Ankuseramu no Kuro Majutsu) Empty Re: Ankhseram Black Magic (アンクセラムの黒魔術 Ankuseramu no Kuro Majutsu)

    Post by Makosuki 14th February 2016, 8:55 pm

    I don't want to take the last Unique Ability


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    avatar
    Ninetails Derpfox

    Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Coming Storms- A-Rank- Rich- Veteran Level 1- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- X-Mas Event Participant- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Position : None
    Posts : 2261
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Soul
    Second Skill: Ice
    Third Skill:

    Ankhseram Black Magic (アンクセラムの黒魔術 Ankuseramu no Kuro Majutsu) Empty Re: Ankhseram Black Magic (アンクセラムの黒魔術 Ankuseramu no Kuro Majutsu)

    Post by Ninetails Derpfox 14th February 2016, 8:56 pm

    Ankhseram Black Magic (アンクセラムの黒魔術 Ankuseramu no Kuro Majutsu) MqXl8kK

      Current date/time is 5th November 2024, 2:20 am