Vale's guide to picking up chicks. Well, chickens. [Mission]

The amicable chatter of citizens provided a pleasant buzz of background noise to Clover town’s pretty and peaceful streets. Though not crowded, the streets were bustling with people going to work or out and about on some sort of errand. Of course, there were some – albeit very few – who were on the streets for no reason in particular other than to just be out and about due to boredom.

Valerie was one of them. She walked at an easy pace, not too fast and not too slow to draw attention to herself. ‘Not drawing attention’ wasn’t something that usually went hand in hand where the girl was concerned. Her outrageous and oftentimes ridiculous outfits made her stand out most of the time. And that was precisely why it was unexpected as her outfit for the day was extremely normal. Consisting of a cute skirt and sweater set coupled with patterned leggings, she looked like a normal if somewhat meek teenager out on a walk.

Appearances could be very deceiving, especially so in her case. The ‘normal and meek’ teenager in question was casually picking wallets and other things out of the pockets of passersby, effortlessly sliding them into someone else’s just as quickly. She did it subtly enough that no one caught on to what she was doing. Why would they? She looked normal and nice enough and this was a perfectly safe neighborhood, after all. The majority of people still considered those who looked different and shifty enough to be associated with criminal activity. Their minds automatically shied away from connecting the dots to those that blended in with them.

Thievery was uninspired and got boring far too easily. What she did added a bit of spice to a rather bland and clinical activity – in her opinion, at least. It would be interesting to see just how many of these well dressed and normal looking citizens were truly honest.

That should be enough.

The moment of truth was almost upon them. Snippets of conversation drifted by, uninteresting enough that she deemed them as background chatter and dismissed them from her mind. Valerie was just about to shriek dramatically and announce that her bracelet was missing when something caught her attention.

“…giant chicken rampaging about.”

Those few words made it through her filter and sent a series of images dancing through her brain. Was this something like in the movies, perhaps? Were the townspeople going to be attacked by a giant chicken? Her experiment forgotten, she turned to look at the woman who had uttered the magic words.

“What was that about a giant chicken?”

Valerie’s question had caused the woman to frown at her for interrupting a private conversation but got over it soon enough, having someone new to tell her story to. She did so love talking about doomsday and death omens, after all.

“There have been sightings of a giant chicken wandering the outskirts near the farms, attacking people. Babette saw it with her own eyes. Big as a truck and meaner than a mama grizzly, she said. It’s a sign from the Gods!  The chickens are finally getting revenge –“

At that point Valerie decided she had gotten all the information she required and promptly turned on her heel, walking away from the woman. She ignored the woman’s ranting and headed straight towards the farms. Behind her, she heard the sounds of a commotion. Something about misplaced items as accusations of thievery flew about. Valerie smiled to herself as she walked away. The day was starting to look promising.

Valerie arrive at the farms in almost no time at all, only a little bit out of breath as she had jogged all the way there. She stopped to catch her breath while scanning the rows of farms and the fields beyond them. So this was where farmers did…. farmerly stuff. She’d never been to one before in all her life. A deep breath through her nose soon had her scrunching up her face at the strange and somewhat unpleasant smell. Farms did not smell good, she decided then and there.

“Not used to the smell, are you?”

A kindly voice asked just as she began to wonder who exactly she could ask regarding the matter of the giant chicken. The voice belonged to an old man in a red bandanna, his face weathered and worn by many hours spent working under the sun.

“No. Do you know anything about a giant chicken?”

“Oh, you’re here about my Lucy?” The farmer blinked in surprise as he looked her over. He had assumed her to be a bit too young and incapable of dealing with a giant chicken. “I’ll accept your help if you’re offering to bring her back to me safely. She’s my livelihood. I spent all of my money on growth hormones to win this year’s annual chicken festival.”

“That was a terrible decision. What kind of idiot does that?”

The farmer got annoyed at this, his sunburned face flushing slightly as he knew her words to be true.

“Now look here missy. Are you here to help or judge my choices in life? Rude as you are, I would still appreciate it if you could bring her back – Aaaah!!” His words were drowned out by his startled scream.

Where the girl had stood, was now occupied by a giant rooster. Rather, a person in a rooster suit.

As a ReQuip mage, Valerie could switch clothes without a moment’s thought. The fact that she had a custom made rooster suit just lying about in the recesses of her wardrobe…. Well, that was just the kind of person she was. She stretched her arms – or wings – a bit as if testing her mobility and looked herself over. She made a rather fetching rooster, even if she did say so herself. Valerie looked over her shoulder and wiggled her butt a bit, causing the glorious plume of silky tail feathers to bob up and down.

“Perfect. I’ll get your chicken back. Where was she last seen?”

Her words were a bit muffled by the headpiece, but she was sure the farmer would have heard it. After staring at her in open mouthed shock for a moment longer, the farmer raised his arm and pointed in the direction indicating where Lucy was. He didn’t trust his voice just yet. He continued to stare as the rooster waddled away, humming something under her breath. Mages were odd people for sure, he decided.

“Here, Lucy.” Valerie called out as she wandered through the fields. She had been searching in the direction indicated by the farmer but there had been no sign of the chicken. A giant chicken would have been hard to miss.

“Wait. Chickens don’t talk.” She would have to make chicken noises from now on, if she wanted to draw Lucy out.

After a few minutes of waddling around and clucking, Valerie spotted the elusive chicken in the distance. Lucy was minding her own business, clucking softly and completely destroying a field in her attempt to scratch the ground for worms and grubs. Valerie started making a beeline straight for the chicken and stopped, realizing that a head on approach would probably scare her away. She would have to be more subtle about it and get the chicken to come to her.

Walking casually, well as casual as she could while dressed in a rooster suit, she began to pass Lucy by. It would be sure to catch her notice – unless she was a blind chicken. Thankfully for Valerie, Lucy looked up from her digging and eyed her with a spark of interest. Valerie turned her head as if only just noticing her and called out what she hoped was a friendly cluck. Lucy made no move to approach, but definitely seemed interested. She was a chicken that played hard to get, apparently. It would take more than a friendly cluck to get her to follow.

Valerie strutted about, displaying her wings and glossy tail feathers. She bobbed her head up and down as if inviting Lucy to come join her. After a few more minutes of this and a series of clucks later, Lucy finally came over and clucked in greeting. Valerie decided it was time to kick the flirting up a notch and wiggle her eyebrows or something but then it dawned on her that poultry did not have eyebrows. She would just have to make do with more clucking and head bobbing, then. Though it was tiring, it seemed to be working really well. They played tag for a bit and dug up some fields – all very fun activities for a chicken – until finally, Lucy seemed to trust her enough to follow her back to the farm. She wasted no time in leading the chicken back slowly and carefully and soon, Lucy’s home was in view. This seemed to cheer her up immensely and she clucked a goodbye before running towards it on her own. She had had an excellent day and enough adventure for a while.

“You did it! You brought my Lucy back!”

Apparently all rudeness was forgiven in the face of such things. The farmer seemed grateful to her and pushed a small pouch of jewels into her hand – not an easy feat as it was currently more wing than hand. It was a job well done.

And the sexiest rooster award goes to Vale! I got skills.

1574 words in total.