Gullible Gifts (Job: FaErika)

Spoiler:

’What a strange request. Is this really something for mages specifically? Are we somehow more trustworthy than some other, everyday mongrel?’ Some of the requests truly mystified Faeral as he left the abode with a soft click of the now closed door. The way that little boy believed someone would kindly deal with the bully threw him for only a small loop, but children were in a constant state of learning. They were being barraged with experiences. Older people….people his age should know a few things by this point however, and trusting the random rabble should be one of them. ’I suppose meeting in person might’ve been the “solution” to it…but really you never know what’s hiding behind a person’s mask.’

The meeting had been very hush-hush behind closed doors, the man afraid to speak too much and his hand even trembled as he passed the further details of the request – and card apparently. The little bit of plastic barely tickled the man’s pants pocket, perceptively there and yet already forgettable as he meandered down the road. People barely paid him much mind, some women whispering and giggling to themselves as he tipped his top hat in their direction, a small and devilish smile blossoming for a moment. As soon as the well-dressed man passed the duet of ladies he snorted. ’Trollops, I’ve better things to do than eye your derriere…or for you to spy on mine.’ He could feel their gaze too as they stole one final look before he disappeared into the crowd.

Right now though he had to find a certain woman since he’d assured that little worm of a man behind the too-tall desk for him that yes, Faeral would be accompanied by a woman to shop for the jewel. And yes, she would choose nothing short of the best gem out of all the pretty stones for sale. The only thing he failed to note would the fact they might buy two stones and swindle the shop owner to write it down as a single one that, wouldn’t you know it, was shaped beautifully by the jewelry store! Because he wouldn’t be surprised in the least if Erika chose to buy the best for herself on the other man’s dime, and then get his wife the second prettiest rock. ’She should be around here somewhere…’ They might have to be a little more careful though given their proximity to the Magic Council, and by proxy the Rune Knights.

The day was fine, the day was dandy, Erika had managed to get the perfect hair style and managed to get 20 jewels from some guy who wandered into a back alley for a short cut. Yes today was looking up, especially since the guy's family was cute. Yes Erika was thumbing through his wallet and just so happened to notice the perfect little family, they were quite nice, and they looked well off... she would have to remember his address for later.

Never the less Erika had to stay focused on her objective right now, she was going to meet up with Faeral for some kind of important job. She didn't really know the details of the job, only that it was within the city of Era, and she was most likely going to go the motel again. Faeral kept calling that place a prison, but seriously Erika only viewed it as a motel, since free room and board, free food and it was basically 6 buck hotel level. The only reason she would think it might not have been a motel was due to how Faeral said that it wasn't normal for the place to not have service girls, and Erika agreed. It was odd that she couldn't get anyone in a maid outfit to come and clean her room since that's what service girl obviously meant... pervert.

Eventually, Erika managed to almost get lost in a crowd, due to her height. If it wasn't for the fact that she was so important, she might have found this to be an issue, but since everyone who mattered would find her anyway, then it wasn't a big deal, besides Erika's eyes were perfect and could spot her prey from a mile away, mostly because she could sense all manner of threads in the area, and had read Faeral's previous post. She'd look for his top hat.

Then it happened, she spotted it, the top hat of justice, of legends, the one she had stuck some of her own threads into so it would be easier to find, she had located Faeral. The man was tall sure, but the top hat was taller (Erika logic), which meant that her tactic was genius. Approaching at glomping speed Erika rushed arms out towards him and squee'd a little...

"Faaaaeeeeeerrrrrraaaaalllllll~~~~"

Now to see if he'd try to dodge or accept the inevitable, Erika was probably faking a lovely attitude to sneak thief some more wallets along the way.

When that lovely, angelic voice rang out Faeral did the only sensible thing he could imagine: he secured his wallet and let the woman collide with his back in what many around them would assume to be some sort of heartwarming or friendly reunion. Not that it wasn’t friendly, the man easily smiling as he spied the two-toned hair over his shoulder. Yes, he could definitely hear the swooning and feel a few envious stares at the pair now as the man turned in the embrace and hugged the woman back. Might as well go for the gold, no? But it wouldn’t do to have people fainting around them so he opted to keep things tame for now, and settled for lightly kissing the top of her head.

”There you are, and here I thought I’d have to put up Lost posters,” a hand pet the pink-side of her ‘do, that gentlemanly and kind smile in place even as the words held a teasing note, and barely refrained from suggesting a leash or some such. Heaven knows what he’d have to do to repay such a comment.

His gloved hands guided one of her’s to the crook of his arm, the finely dressed fellow naturally escorting his short cohort to their destination. ”I think you’ll like this one though, much nicer, more pleasant than the last two jobs. Also…a lot less children involved from what I can tell. In fact, it involves one of your favorite things: rocks!” Faeral spoke casually, as if they might be discussing the weather rather than job details, and couldn’t help the teasing smirk at the last statement even as he kept his eyes forward, lazily looking for the desired shop.

”Simply put, you m’lady, get to accompany me to a gemstone store and pick out a pretty rock or few, and from there we’ll traipse on over to a jewelry store to have it set into some trinket for a man’s wife. If we find too many pretty things I do happen to have my father’s card with me as well…should probably refrain from getting too many freebies from the client after all. We’ll have to deliver it later in the evening so I figure we can even do dinner around here somewhere, how does that sound?” Really, as far as jobs went this one sounded pleasant and easy enough. It was more like a day of shopping even if on someone else’s behalf and tab.

When Erika made full body impact with Faeral, she noticed that his hand was over his wallet, dang she was sure it would have worked this time. She managed to snag one of the onlookers in her ways wallet, though, so it wasn't a total loss. She would have to check the contents later, but for now she would hide it away in one her very own pants pockets, which mind you had to be made bigger to accommodate the three wallets previously stolen. As Faeral talked Erika became more and more enchanted with how much... fun this little job sounded. He picked a good one, but sadly it did mean she couldn't hit a kid in the face, or anywhere else for that matter, and she did love doing that, it was a very good stress reliever.  

It was then that she noticed a few onlookers, and how some of the girls seemed jealous over the proposition of them getting some "pretty rocks" and now she just had to exploit the heck out of that fact, it simply was the Erika way of the force, like a sith lord but less arrogance and murder and more humiliation and torment.

"Oh my daaarrrllliinnngg I can't believe you are going to so much trouble, not only for me but our friends as well. It certainly is wonderful to be a wealthy and sophisticated couple, for us what is a few rocks, trinkets really."

Giving a few of the girls around a little snarky glance, a pair of them seemed to huff and cross their arms, and one gave a little birdy a raise. Erika didn't mind it, however, after all the nasty girl with the raised bird would soon learn that her clothes seams weren't all that they seemed. Certainly Erika had to seal the deal with these plebeians and their jealousy. Leaning up Erika remembered why she would often wear high heels... Faeral was too tall to get a proper little smooch off. Seriously how could she act so arrogant and haughty if she had to stand on tippy toes just to make it look somewhat amusing, Erika could curse her body, but that was perfect so obvious it was Faeral's fault for growing so tall, because he totally had control over that.

Managing to pull off the little smooch on the cheek, however, that is if he didn't dodge this odd showing of affection, Erika would turn her eyes to gaze at the spread groups of girls.

"I suppose dinner after picking out the one ring that I shall treasure most, would be divine. How fortunate I am to have you by my side, forever~. Every girl deserves a wonderful man like you, though some more than others."

Angry twitch marks could be seen over a few of them as they listened on.

"Now lead on my darling, today we shall share our love for one another the way only true people can, with more money than others can imagine and more 'charisma' then is needed to satisfy both of us."

Erika wrapping her arm around Faeral's, again unless he dodged like a jerk, she was fully prepared to follow him to the ends of the earth, and make that one woman who flipped her off, clothes fall off, but that was beside the point. In reality she could care less about the rock, so long as she could throw it at someone she was happy, but she supposed an expensive projectile was okay once a while. Oh yeah and she supposed the client needed one too... but of course it wouldn't be as good as Erika's since Erika and all she owned was perfect. Which was good news for Faeral since according to that logic he was perfect, but since this is Erika logic take it with a grain of salt... with a side of salt... in the form of an unmined, salt mine.

Any director might’ve cringed at the pair’s over acting…yet one amusingly couldn’t say it was ineffective either. The girls positively boiled in jealousy at Erika’s obviously aimed remarks and had he been a mere onlooker then Faeral might’ve been snickering or chuckling himself into a fainting spell. Rather than interrupt her beautifully crafted lines however he settled for only the best of his showmanship smiles, beaming yet not overly radiating as he aimed it towards her and nodded, though really it was geared for those annoying miscreants off to the side. Thanks to the height difference they could see it well enough, if only due to Erika’s lack of hats.

Hmm…one of these days he’d have to see about buying her a few, the two-toned woman would undoubtedly look stylish in some even if choosing a color other than neutral ones might be a bit difficult.

Like the well-trained man that he was, the moment Erika began raising her body, Faeral leaned over so that she didn’t have to stretch too far in order to reach his cheek for the small yet succinct peck. Tempting as it might’ve been to turn it into a full blown kiss Faeral refrained from the potential of it evolving into a full-on snog fest if only to avoid overdoing things. For once. Jealousy and other dark emotions required better and more fine-tuned crafting as they could easily simmer into “meh” feelings when one reached too far.

Again, he kept words to a minimum as the man kept them moving at least at a slow pace so the exotic woman on his arm could finish her little taunts to the silly group. Damned if he didn’t almost laugh outright at that last line though, ’By the gods can she be so unpredictable!’

Ah well, there were reasons why he conducted a lot of sneakier business without her, or kept the woman in a different part of the plan if only to avoid blowing covers like that. One cannot be intimidating if they randomly bark in laughter after all.

Ignoring the complete wardrobe malfunction courtesy of his arm candy, Faeral upped their pace into a normal gait, careful to keep it to one more fitting of his shorter companion. To their luck the store wasn’t that much further down the road, and like a true gentleman he’d been programmed more or less by his father to be, Faeral held the door open for Erika, ”After you, mademoiselle.”

As lovely as gemstones could be Faeral wasn’t one for overly glamorous rocks. Colors he enjoyed for the right occasion – never mind his magic’s penchant for “characters” in its armor forms – but as far as the man cared one’s status and presence shouldn’t be determined by potentially gaudy and overused chunks of earth. Sometimes the people who impressed him the most didn’t wear a lick of jewelry, merely holding their posture in such a way as to command respect. It’d been yet another good reason to bring Erika along seeing as she could probably find a better one because she was a woman and wouldn’t merely choose the first one she saw like he might. ’Damn, I can already feel the lack of caring setting in…’

Faeral, had been so kind as to lead Erika to one of the best shops in town, and even after she had been awful to that one girl too, he was truly a gentleman who knew his place in the world, as her number one henchman, ignore the fact that he seemed like he was in charge, he really wasn't she had more of her name in their unofficial team title after all. Still the town seemed so dull, this was really where the rune knights lived? That's probably why it was so boring, there was no crime or fun to be had other than official activities... perhaps one of these days Erika could help change that, but for now she would have to play the good girl and just handle the job at hand with utmost grace, after all she put on her fancy kicking shoes today.

"You are both a gentleman and a scholar, that is why darling you are the only one for me."

winking towards Faeral, Erika entered the store her mind being flooded with all the pretty rocks. Truly this was heaven, so many small objects she could throw at heads and waists and occasionally balls. It was a woman's paradise, the ultimate in projectile expensive arrogance that would shower her foes with not only destruction but the feeling inferior class within society and the world as a whole.

"Ding ding ding, hello is anyone there to help relieve me of my hard earned money?"

A man entered from behind a curtain and with a smile greeted Erika.

"Yes my dear how can I help you."

"Well my dear gentleman I was wondering what is your most expensive piece of jewelry to show just how much I love my darling husband here, and how much he loves me."

"Oh yes, this way madam."

Moving towards one of the many counters, the man decided it was best to give Erika the most precious of attention, that and they were the only ones in the store right now, which was helpful... for Erika and Faeral of course. Putting out a few rings that were simply of divine craftsmanship Erika gazed upon them almost with stars in her mismatched eyes.

"These are made from the finest of gold, platinum, and refined diamonds avalible on the market today, I suppose they will suffice?"

"My, they simply look... like absolute shit. Are you trying to insult me my good sir, I asked for the most expensive of your QUALITY products, not of your shit bargain bin."

The man was taken aback, shocked even at how she could reply like that.

"But ma'm I assure you these are of the finest quality!"

"Yes but they smell of skunks butt, and they remind me of the most droll of dinner parties I have been at before, you do know what those are right? You aren't of such low birth?"

"Ma'm I can't abide you insulting me in my store."

With that Erika smiled and turned towards Faeral.

"Oh dear Faeral... he believes this is his store, should we correct him on this little... notion of his? Perhaps we should show him what happens when those of high birth do a... hostle take over."

Ah yes, the woman never failed to disappoint as the mental countdown reached zero and the reaction he’d been waiting for reared its ugly (but in his eyes highly entertaining) head. ’The poor bastard never even saw it coming,’ he smirked from behind his steepled fingers, having taken a seat in a “boyfriend” chair. ’Then again, part of his mistake was believing they might “suffice” the silly man. Nothing ever really “suffices” for Erika.’

If things continued as they should’ve then the two might’ve been kicked out of the establishment for being less than lovely customers. The owner would’ve felt triumphant even if he’d lost out on a potential sale, not realizing just how much money they actually had at their disposal (considering there was more than one card to use). Sullen or ticked off then the two would slink off while he awaited his next wealthy client. If things continued that route, but this was Faeral and Erika, otherwise known as the entity of “Faerika.” There was no normal with them in the vicinity, it was like a Law of Life, Reality, or Physics: take your pick.

Standing and taking up his cane that’d been leaning against the wall, Faeral placed his hat down on the chair in his place. Each glove came off to sit atop it, and he calmly stated, ”I’m sorry my good sir, but that simply won’t do. To be fair I could simply buy this store out from under you, fire you, make your life miserable, etcetera…but this place is far too…quaint to bother.” By the end he’d moved towards the door and flipped the little “OPEN” sign to “CLOSED” and then turning the lock. As he turned around a thought struck the man and he tapped the end of his cane to his chin lightly.

”…Darling…were you even born of high birth?” Sure he shouldn’t prod the tiger so to speak, but sometimes her reactions were too tempting to pass up. Besides her anger was already directed at the fellow before them so it might be fun to see what she did. Heaven knows he didn’t mind cleaning up while she vented some frustration.

The man was filled with panic as he looked towards Faeral closing the store down and locking the door. This was a mugging, no a robbery and he was in the middle of it. He didn't know what to do but try and sound the panic button, but for some reason his hand wouldn't move to hit the button, the lacrima out of his reach by but... a thread. Erika laughing internally as she restrained the poor man's arm, she looked towards the various jewelry and smiled, only to have her normal cocky expression turned into a more sour note. Just what was Faeral saying? He was approaching sacrificial pawn status with a comment like that, of course, Erika was of high birth what was he daft and poor!?

"Of course I am of high birth, I was born in the most wonderful of places with the most loving of fathers making sure that everything about me was perfectly suited towards my main task. My personality, my body, my wonderful adaptation of magic that I am sure this gentleman trying to call the rune knights is well aware of... all of it was made with lovingly corrupt and vile hands of a noble gentleman who wishes to watch the world burn and be remade in his own holy fire. Such a ripe bastard I can't help but both love and wish to kill him at the same time, one could say I would love to kill him!"

Now the store owner was freaking the heck out as he panicked, he couldn't move and now he was stuck dealing with psycho's.

"Look you can let me go and take all of the stuff I have in the store, really on the house."

"Now, now one giving up so soon isn't very manly, I'll let you in on the full punishment once my darling here answers why he would dare to even ask about my birth in the first place... after all darling some things are best left to the imagination... understand?"

Erika's word left her lips with a sour and grave note at the end, she didn't wish for him to question it any further, but if he so did then well, Faeral would know her wrath for she would fully express it through the shop owner's body, after all she still did like Faeral even if he was being a clueless idiot, and she did need him to buy her candy so she could let a few mess up's pass, but really this was getting downright... violent. Perhaps after this little rant, Erika should get him to a more private location to truly show him what absolute perfection is like, and just how noble she could really be.

It was highly entertaining how one simple question could greatly charge the situation, the tension palpable even to the clueless of idiots. In his defense, the question had been asked on purpose and with full knowledge that it’d provoke such a reaction. What could he say though? There was a certain je ne sais quoi about Erika when she became a little possessed by a fiery passion, even if it could end in dangerous results for him. Perhaps he liked to flirt with danger?

Luckily for all three of them Faeral could control himself as she explained herself very loosely. No specifics naturally and as mysterious as the woman herself, but he could let that slide because she was interesting enough here in the moment and any past details could wait.

”Is it so wrong for a man to be curious about his significant other, dearest?” he murmured as he passed her, sultry smile slipping out despite his usually masterful control, ”All our time together and I have little idea if I picked up a gem hiding amongst rocks or found another like soul from my class…though where you came from ultimately matters little in my eyes. Or maybe I simply wanted to hear you talk about yourself…especially with such passion beneath the words.”

In the time he spoke Faeral had moved towards the frozen shopkeeper, nonchalantly relieving him of the keys jangling from a belt loop and jingling before the fearful man’s face. Casually leaning against the counter on the same side as the man, he shot that smoldering half smile over his shoulder towards the irked female, ”But yes…I understand. I’ll use my imagination from now one.” With that he winked and pulled away from the counter with a slight push, ”I’ll leave him and the items up front for you my dearest, whilst I check the back for the more prime stock. Only the best for you after all!” Off he went through the door with a whistled tune left in his wake.

Finally he learned his place within Erika's mind, to not continue to question such things as of this moment. She was already angry enough to make a honey badger give a shit, she didn't need even more reason to become enraged. What's next was he going to try and run a background scan on her, jokes on him he could never figure out the truth with such a scan for such records existed, Erika was like a ghost within the machine, the shell if you will. She was an enigma surrounded in mystery, suspense and above all else badass attitudes that left all bewildered with her amazing speeches and high-born antic's.

"Well Faeral I suppose I will let you off the hook for now, but do remember such  comments aren't welcomed at all, perhaps next time I'll have to question your birth huh?"

Then Erika snapped to attention and looked towards the jewelry shop owner and smiled a faint and violent little smile.

"Oh my bad I suppose I just let you know his real name, that was my little slip-up."

The man looked absolutely terrified and tried to talk his way out of it.

"Look, miss I didn't hear anything or know anything about it, please just take whatever you want and you can just leave me alone... right? I mean there is no need for bloodshed?"

But of course, this little pleading only made Erika smile wider, something she decided to mimic from Faeral.

"You are right, there is no need for bloodshed, after all you decided to hang yourself due to just how horrible your life was going, such an act of suicide and destruction of your own property clearly meant that you were nothing but the most depressed of scum in the world right? Don't worry we will be sure to keep some of you items in our utmost care..."

"No you couldn't look there is n---"

Suddenly a rope was manifested around his neck as Erika kept the faint smile upon her lips the entire time, lifting the man up to the roof she made a simple gesture with her finger and then waved towards him as he fell downward into the pit of blackness that was her trap and his life. Ended in but a moment thanks to her clever use of such a creative yet in her hands, vile magic.

"Faeral, I grow bored of this place, have you disposed of the lacrima's records yet so that our faces aren't known or at least edited it to look like a suicide? We must simply choose a rock and then leave before anything get's complicated... oh and do find something suitable so I may grab it with his hand so that we might stage this as an arson as well, no need to have others come by and we'll inspect some of the items now... after all those pesky rune knights can be clever when they want to be."

’Find all you want, He erased what he didn’t like and anything of importance is no longer tied to this life,’ he couldn’t help the mental taunt, smirking as he left the scene with his back to Erika. The woman would undoubtedly have a little fun while the man dawned some latex gloves: best not to leave any finger brings after all. They wouldn’t be seeing this fellow again so the less connected they were the better.

As she played with what little life and time remained in the man Faeral inspected the back office. ’How plain,’ the mage snorted, unimpressed, ’but at least it’s organized so I’ll be thankful for small favors. What a simple fellow though…I’ll bet the code to the safe is nearby.’ The neat and tidied documents called for little more than a cursory glance, the things entailing correspondence with various suppliers. Scattered the pages went as he flung them, the chair falling over in the man’s spontaneous bout of despair no doubt: it wasn’t hard to guess what would happen to him in a few seconds.

’Hmm….ah,’ Spying a novel nearby with a bookmark he picked it up, scanning the pair of pages for any hint. The mentioned numbers in the book brought no luck, the third attempt more a carless “what the hell” taken chance in using the page numbers themselves. When he heard the telltale click he muttered in disbelief, ”Really? The page numbers? You should’ve been more creative than 4546 my good sir.” There were some nice choice pieces in the vault alongside some documents, the jewels and gems making their way immediately into various pockets so they wouldn’t wrinkle a single spot. And besides, ’She’ll have fun searching for them I’m sure.’

Finishing the crafted mess he left the room, broken lacrima chips left around after he’d altered a bit of the recording. ’Wouldn’t do if they recovered some data of our arrival after all, much less our presence here altogether. Luckily they’re not half as good as father’s.’ Those required some proper skill to alter the contents, these more like the playthings he’d once practiced on, but their destruction added to the seeming “fit” the man had before his death.

”I found a few pieces in the back, but something out here’s probably good enough for the client if you don’t want to share them. And fear not, there’s quite the flammable mess in back, just need to finish laying some gasoline and then our friend here can do the rest,” he smiled, producing an infamous type of lighter, the kind that didn’t require holding a button to keep aflame. He gestured towards the cane, gloves, and top hat he’d left to the side, ”If you’d please grab those for me and leave through the backdoor, I’ll be with your shortly m’lady.”

Grabbing as many of the valuables as she could, Erika made sure to fashionably leave a few scattering about the shop, after all she wanted to make sure that all the logs were burned to ash so no one knew the actual inventory, but she didn't want to make it look like a complete robbery. Some of the pieces, despite her previously belittling of them, were quite nice, and of course she could keep them for herself, though in a shocking twist she put the one that the client might enjoy away in her pocket. It was actually a sapphire, and one might think Erika had a sudden rush to the head, or some kind of disease for giving away such a nice jewelry, well fear not, it was incredibly nice looking, but Erika had a mind and eye for rocks, it was a gift... the sapphire was a fake, a convincing fake, but Erika knew the true weight of a sapphire, and exactly the sound it made against human flesh. This was an imposter, and Erika was sure of it, all the better for a wretched lesser being to obtain right?

"Do not worry Faeral, I shall obtain it in the most promising of ways just like I have obtained a few new... trinkets. Behold my swag!"

Launching out multi-colored thread that glowed like fireworks, Erika leashed the items Faeral desired straight back to her, putting them on fashionably, of course, Erika proceeded to walk out of the shop with a bit of swank to her step. Like she owned the place, which as you will see in a second, would be impossible as one couldn't own such a miserable pile of ash.

Unleashing several threads inside of the store, she had the strings fade to nothing as they tripped the little fire trap she had left so generously upon the store owner, the one who was so depressed he hung himself. Such a shame really, oh well perhaps one of these days people would stop doing that so often around her, but today was not that day. The store erupted in flame as Erika placed aviator shades, yes she had those all along what kind of badass would she be without them, and proceeded to not look back at the fire, instead just looked at Faeral and bowed slightly.

"I do declare that fire season has been rather harsh, and random this year, perhaps, darling, it is best if we find a safer venue for our extravagant expenditure to the world beyond our wildest dreams. Oh and of course darling you can't go anywhere without these."

Directing the cane, gloves, and top hat towards his correct body parts with thread, Erika would smile softly, her pockets lined with a slight jingle and her mind filled with thoughts of pure joy. Nothing spoke wonders about one's status like the amount of shiny rocks they had, and if one counted shiny rocks well then the ones in Erika's pocket and head made her the most powerful of queens in the universe, suck it, Thanos.

His part finished, Faeral made his way outside where his lovely partner-in-crime proceeded to don the proper accoutrements for such a show before things got hot and wild for a second. The woman certainly had a way about her, and not just a useful one that allowed them both to be safe from the hazards of setting the final piece in place as the trap went off. Unlike her however, he possessed neither shades nor the necessity of having a badass moment so he proceeded to eye the flames, gauging that they should’ve covered up the last traces of their presence before offering the delightful woman his arm again.

”Indeed, it is time to make haste I think. Things might get a bit too hot to handle soon, and I see no reason to muss ourselves up with a bit of ash and the scent of burnt.” Never mind that would imply they were all too close to the scene of the crime before security could keep the crowds at bay.

Looking like ever the high society couple they walked briskly for a bit, Faeral leading them towards a residential area. It was a decent neighborhood at least, not too common yet not so overly rich and wealthy they should expect any wait-staff to suddenly show up and question their presence – because let’s be honest: getting bloodstains out of the carpet were just a pain. Entering the abode he thought it quaint, their locks no match for the power of Team FaErika, and happily plopped himself on the couch in the nearby living room.

”I suppose we should waste a few hours here since the drop off time is set for later tonight. Guess the only question is what to do first: make use of their kitchen or other amenities first?” The smile he offered lacked a certain sense of innocence, though to be fair with the duet anything was possible, from looting the fridge to planting porn someplace a missus might find it, and everything in between.

Erika followed Faeral as he led her through the neighborhoods, a slight jingle to her step. Not Erika's fault that she was far too amazing to give up any of the loot that she had so gracefully earned. Perhaps this was for the best, Erika needed to lie down, after all she was feeling faint just all the joy that was overcoming her, she had not only stolen such wonderful projectile weapons, but she had also managed to teach her number one henchman how to hack into lacrima and erase security footage. Seriously he wouldn't be anywhere without her amazing ability to instruct and teach him, but it was okay, he had a dapper cuteness so that's why he was the number one henchman rather than just a sacrificial mook, that was reserved for the most arrogant of morons, after all arrogance was a cancer, Erika wasn't arrogant, she was Erikagant, it was pretty much the same thing, except with far more swag and sarcastic potency.

Entering the house first, Erika hummed a little tune that went kind of like the mission impossible theme, she snuck about the place till she came to the conclusion that everything was nice here. It wasn't so amazing that it impressed her, merely let her grace it with her very being and not be offended by it. That was the main weakness of this entire place actually, it was very... plain, it would have to be spiced up a bit, speaking of spices.

Raiding the houses cabinets Erika found a few cookies with which to stuff her face, chocolate chip, whoever owned this place obviously wished to appease Erika by not having the foul raisin within her cookies. This was good, now she wouldn't have to sacrifice them to a better cause, Erika's righteous revenge.

It was then that Faeral spoke up about enjoying the place, and while she hated to admit it, one thing did cross her mind when she entered here. Really she would have to phrase her request to him in the most elegant of ways, with the most silver of tongues and the most delicate of speech patterns.

"Wanna fuck on their couch?"

Truly the most beautiful of lines spoken by an angel.

Truly, the suggestion of the gods themselves.

---

”They’ve been going at it for hours,” griped the husband trying to watch TV, his wife hiding her interest in the going on of next door. The man banged against the wall, yelling, ”WILL YOU TWO QUIET DOWN ALREADY AND TAKE IT TO THE BEDROOM!”

Meanwhile a certain pair were engaged in the most hardy of workouts.

Jumping on the couch while occasionally hitting the wall and moaning loudly. Even worse: they hadn’t removed their shoes before the jumping foray, ensuring that some dirt would probably be on the sofa for the resident(s) to find later. After a few more minutes however Faeral stopped and stared at Erika until she ceased her current actions, and upon quirking an eyebrow nonchalantly inquired, ”Remind me again why we’re faking this?”

Some time later…

The rather snazzily dressed man stared at the other gentleman with the blankest of faces in his attempt to figure out the situation. This was not the same, wishy-washy looking fool from earlier but a man one shouldn’t trifle with given the battle scars adorning his Adonis body, a little alarmed that the man towered over even him – or maybe it seemed that way given the girth of his muscles? Regardless he did not expect to meet such an intimidating man after going through the troubles of finding a proper piece of jewelry, having it inscribed, and delivering it in the secretive manner the man desired. ’Maybe it was some sort of test…’ he thought with hidden dismay as the man seemed awfully jolly to see him, going so far as to clasp his shoulder and rock the much thinner man about.

Dropping a pair of rings into his hands, the man winked at Faeral, ”I’m sure you had some help in choosing the fine necklace, so here’s something for your ‘helper’ as well. Hope you treat her right.”

”But of course,” Faeral assured him, eyeing the tightening hand out of the corner of his eye, ”she receives nothing but the best herself. Besides she’d never let me get away with her half of the rewards even if I tried. Wouldn’t be particularly gentlemanly to do though…” Truth be told he’d have to work to keep her from trying to get her thready mitts on his portion.

’I suppose life might be more boring that way. Well…no matter.’