Take Care of My Baby! (Job/Solo)

Job Posting:

Blue stared up at his client, his face in the process of getting smushed between her hands. "Well aren't you just the cutest little thing!" A sweatdop moment for sure. Under any other circumstance he would've been mad that he was being treated like a child...but he and Luck needed Jewels bad. Turns out? Food in the Guild Hall (and everywhere else in the world, apparently) wasn't free. So they needed money to pay to eat. A Dragon Slayer and an Exceed's diet wasn't cheap! "I'hm ah Mahge fwum Faairee Tayuil, laadee..." He slurred in response to Katy, the fact his cheeks were mashed together didn't help his whole "not a little kid" defense. "Aha, of course you are, cutie!~" She laughed it off and smiled before turning to the stairway and calling up to her significant other. "Honey, the babysitter's here!" A loud grumble was all she got in response, leading to even more laughter from the woman. Blue folded his arms, his furrowed brow telling all that need be told. "I don't think this lady even knows she sent the request to a Mage Guild. Probably woulda let anyone watch the kid..." This 'Katy' lady seemed pretty ditzy, so Blue wouldn't put it past her.

A few minutes passed until the husband came down from upstairs, but Katy kept her self busy playing with Blue like HE was her own kid. He just grit his teeth and bear it. He actually had to repeat, "For...the food...!" to himself a few times to keep enduring. Luckily as soon as the man grabbed his jacket Katy zipped to his side and opened the door. "Take good care of the baby! He should already be asleep but if he wakes back up just tuck him in again." Both of the parents exited through the door, but just before Blue could breathe a heavy sigh of relief, Katy poked her head back through. "Oh, and the baby is even shorter than you, so you should be able to lift him no problem. Bye now, sweetie!~" That was it. That straw? That was the last one. "I AM NOT SHORT, DAMNI-!!!" SLAM! The door was shut and they were gone before he could say another word.

A huff escaped the young Mage's mouth, and (seemingly) his momentary anger with it.

"I'm not short! They're just freakishly tall..." he muttered to himself before sulking over to the nearby couch and crawling on to it. Now that his face wasn't being mushed around by the mother, he finally got a chance to look around. It was a nice place! At first Blue was pissed that he wasn't able to go on any higher ranked Jobs alone. After his first one with Marcus, the excitement factor definitely died down for this. Going from beating up Vulcans to kid watching was almost embarrassing, but after giving it a bit of thought he decided it wasn't so bad. The kid was already asleep, right? So he was pretty much getting paid to relax on a comfy sofa in a cool house! "Eh...guess this isn't such a bad gig, after all." Blue thought aloud to himself as he sprawled out on his back across the couch. It was an easy job...but it wasn't exactly fun. It would've been a little more bearable if Lucky was with him, but Blue's Exceed partner was off doing a Job of his own. It only took a few seconds before the Dragon Slayer was up and about, pacing through the living room. He never could sit still for long, and usually that was a good thing! Well...when he actually had stuff to do. This time not so much. His pacing eventually brought him into the kitchen where he spied something VERY interesting...

The pantry.

"Gihihihi...~"

They. Had. EVERYTHING!

Of course there were a lot of dried foods and stuff that had to be prepared...and of course Blue couldn't cook to save his life...but they had tons of other stuff too! All kinds of breads, and sweets, and drinks. It goes without saying that the young Dragon Slayer ruined everything. Didn't even bother cleaning up wrappers or throwing anything away. Odd, right? I mean, if you're gonna do something bad you should at least try to hide it, right? Except...Blue didn't see himself as doing anything wrong. He was just eating! And believe it or not, this was the first house he'd ever been in. Aside from Fairy Tail's Guild Hall, he and Lucky had never even slept in a bed before! The young Dragon Slayer and his Exceed partner had always just braved the outdoors, eating whatever they could find and sleeping in trees or on the ground. Everything here was so...cushy and clean. It was like a whole new world to them!

Luckily, that whole new world came equipped with a fully-stocked refrigerator too. His eyes lit up as he zoomed across the room, throwing open the fridge doors to a wonderland of eats. "Woaaaah!~" It took the lad a total of two minutes to devour everything he could get his hands on. A Dragon Slayer's appetite was not easily sated, and even after all of that the seemingly malnourished child STILL had room for! But there wasn't any. So after letting out a laugh of satisfaction, the now-bloated lad sluggishly made his way back over to the living room. He plopped back down on the sofa, kicking his feet up so he was laying down. The kid he was supposed to be watching was already asleep upstairs right? He'd be fine. That food hit the spot and now Blue's eyelids were getting heavy. A quick nap on his client's couch wouldn't hurt anybody! Just grab a wink real fast...and deal with all that 'babysitting' crap later...

Just a quiiiick nap...

Poke. A tiny finger prodded the sleeping Slayer's face. Poke, poke. No response. Blue was pretty much catatonic at this point. Perhaps one of his more quirky traits, Blue was capable of sleeping through just about anything. Fights. Earthquakes. He'd even fallen asleep eating a few times. One last poke was it for the small child, who frowned and puffed up his face. He stood there in his sky blue PJ's, an ahoge sticking out of the top of his still-growing black hair. Couldn't have been older than five, but the way he carried himself spoke volumes. He was much smarter than he appeared. And MUCH more mischievous. "Why'd mama get a pipsqueak like this to watch me?"

And like that? Blue was awake.

Like usual, the vertically challenged Dragon Slayer's head was already several times its normal size. He hopped up from the couch, bearing down on the child with all of his anger. "WHO YOU CALLIN' A PIPSQUEAK, YOU PIPSQUEAK?! I'M A LOT TALLER THAN YOU!!!" The toddler didn't even flinch. Apparently he was a lot more thick-skinned than most children too! The child stared back up at Blue, unblinking. "I'm hungry." Blue's head deflated and a sweatdrop formed. This was a problem. "Uh... Quick Blue, think of something! "...you can eat later. Isn't it way past your bed time anyway?" ...good...enough? Seems so, because the kid just frowned some more before turning his back and making his way over to the stairs. Blue watched as he climbed up onto the first step, but before he got any further he stopped at looked at his babysitter through the railing."You left the stove on, shorty." Blue's eyes turned white from sheer rage and a vein in his forehead looked ready to burst, but before he could vent at all the smell of smoke hit his nose. He turned around just in time to see the entirety of the stovetop burst into flames, almost as if on queue. "Uh-oh..."

"Uh-oh" is right! This was gonna be an ordeal...

"*cough*" A small cloud of soot escaped his mouth as he offered his ever-articulate response to the situation. The ceiling, half of the kitchen, and his face was stained black from the smoke the fire had generated. Blue hated fire. And only after several buckets of water and much panicking did he actually manage to douse the wild blaze. It was the strangest thing though...he couldn't for the life of him remember leaving the stove on! "Huh...must've been when I cooked all that food." He put a hand under his chin and closed his eyes, obviously in deep thought. Yeah...that had to be it. He just forgot to turn the stove off and-

"Wait..." Blue's eyes snapped open, wide with surprise. He'd just remembered something crucial to his investigation. "...I can't cook." ...it almost goes without saying, the young Mage's skills in deduction were outstanding. But it wasn't just about him not being able to cook. It was the fact that he hadn't cooked at all. Everything he'd eaten was either raw or didn't need to be heated. So if he didn't use the stove...and the only other person in the house was the kid that he had been diligently watching (*cough*...)...

"THAT PSYCHOTIC LITTLE RUN-" SLAM! "We're hoomeee!~" came a shrewd, interrupting voice. Blue's enraged (and comically enlarged...) head turned towards the front door that had been swung open. There they stood, Katy with a ditsy expression on her face and her husband with his eyes rolled to the side. The young Mage's mouth hung open as he struggled to come up with an excuse on why their house was in such disarray. Not to mention he was the prime suspect with all the soot covering his face. But for the life of him, the words just would not come. "Th-...the...kid..." he halfheartedly pointed towards the stairs but it was no use. There was no way in hell he was getting out of trouble this ti- "Oh, was the baby was playing with the stove again?" Blue blinked, unable to even begin to mask his surprise. "...wha-" "Isn't he just the silliest little thing?~" and then?

Silence.

Not even a minute later and Blue was out the door. "But, Blue you forgot your payment!" The boy continued to walk not even bothering to look back. An irritated expression was painfully apparent on his face. "Just send it to Fairy Tail addressed to me..." he retorted, limply throwing up a hand to wave over his shoulder. Katy was still beaming, as ignorant as ever. "Ok! Make sure to come back and sit for us again!" she shouted after the young Mage. A scoff was all he offered in return. "No wonder the kid's crazy. If I had a mom like that I would be too..."