Shunsuke walked up to the stage and felt a booming sense of fear within him. Perhaps the first sense of feat he had ever felt in his 420-year life. The crowd looked on with prying eyes as he prepared his mouth and train of thought. Okay, he said. Time to do some funny business. Suddenly the words came to Shunsuke's mouth, and he was ready.
"I'm gonna tell you a story. Throughout your life, there's always been that one person who just creeps you the hell out, right? I guarantee it, you're growing up like na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. That's the sound of growing up. Even at your job today, there's a complete weirdo, who makes you Scaredicus every time he walks into the room. Hell, I can list a couple features right now. He isn't fat, no, we would never call him fat, but he was 'shapes'. He walks around slow as hell, he's got that aura that says 'I'm going to kill you'. Nobody talks to that guy. You don't talk to that guy. He's got those glasses on, that smile, the pocket full of the congregation of pens, in case he has to write 'a lot'. The second he comes in, "Hey, do you guys wanna get the fuck outta the break room? Come on guys, let's get out." Like, you got sweat running from your armpit down your side, your voice just cracks like hell "Come on let's get out of hereeeeee". Nobody talks to that guy. But let me tell you something. Every job I've had in my life, I've made it a point to talk to that guy. I would seek him out, and talk to that guy. We'd just have little convos here and there, and give him candy, all "here you go, enjoy that, put that in your mouth". Because on the off chance that that guy just *cht* snaps, comes into work the next day with a sawed-off shotgun all *POW* *click-c;lick* *POW* *click-click* *POW* *click-click* he comes into my office like *GASP* "Thanks for the candy." *POW click-click* *POW click-click* *POW click-click*.
The crowd went into hysterics after hearing this. Then Shunsuke finished his story by saying "You laugh now, but you know when you come in on Monday, you're gonna be like 'hey Gildarts'". The crowd nearly lost their voices at that, to be honest with you.
All Credit goes to Dane Cook.
"I'm gonna tell you a story. Throughout your life, there's always been that one person who just creeps you the hell out, right? I guarantee it, you're growing up like na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. That's the sound of growing up. Even at your job today, there's a complete weirdo, who makes you Scaredicus every time he walks into the room. Hell, I can list a couple features right now. He isn't fat, no, we would never call him fat, but he was 'shapes'. He walks around slow as hell, he's got that aura that says 'I'm going to kill you'. Nobody talks to that guy. You don't talk to that guy. He's got those glasses on, that smile, the pocket full of the congregation of pens, in case he has to write 'a lot'. The second he comes in, "Hey, do you guys wanna get the fuck outta the break room? Come on guys, let's get out." Like, you got sweat running from your armpit down your side, your voice just cracks like hell "Come on let's get out of hereeeeee". Nobody talks to that guy. But let me tell you something. Every job I've had in my life, I've made it a point to talk to that guy. I would seek him out, and talk to that guy. We'd just have little convos here and there, and give him candy, all "here you go, enjoy that, put that in your mouth". Because on the off chance that that guy just *cht* snaps, comes into work the next day with a sawed-off shotgun all *POW* *click-c;lick* *POW* *click-click* *POW* *click-click* he comes into my office like *GASP* "Thanks for the candy." *POW click-click* *POW click-click* *POW click-click*.
The crowd went into hysterics after hearing this. Then Shunsuke finished his story by saying "You laugh now, but you know when you come in on Monday, you're gonna be like 'hey Gildarts'". The crowd nearly lost their voices at that, to be honest with you.
All Credit goes to Dane Cook.