Perverse Love | Job | Cleona Collins

Job Details:

There was something sobering about jail for Cleona Collins. No one in jail ever put on fake masks of plastic smiles and beaming eyes nor make awkward, obligated small talk about how the weather had been nice lately or how terrible the Magnolia Cardinals were doing. Instead, everyone had pissed off faces painted on them – not unlike Cleona herself – and only talked when an insult became necessary. Truly, Cleona was in her happy place that morning as she visited the Magnolia Town jail to see about a man who needed a letter delivered. The man, identifying himself as Clifford, spoke with Cleona in the jail’s visitor room; at the same time in the visitor room, a country bumpkin was telling her jailbird lover that she would wait for him (which was a total lie by the way).

Clifford explained his predicament: his childhood sweetheart Candy was in town to perform a concert and he wanted to give her a love letter of some sorts. The problem, however, lied in the fact that someone had mistakenly accused Clifford of stalking Candy, thus keeping them apart (at least that’s how Clifford put it). Intrigued by this obvious train wreck, Cleona happily agreed to deliver the letter. The promise of payment wasn’t so bad either.

After leaving the jailhouse, Cleona felt it to be in the best interest of her curiosity to actually read the letter before delivering it. The crudely written text read so:

Candy, baby, I thought about it for a while and have decided to forgive you for sending me to jail. As soon as I’m out, we can be together again. We can get that house at the lake like I talked about too. I know you’d love that.

It’s hard in here. It really is. The only thing I have to keep me sane at night are those pictures of you asleep. You look so beautiful in them. You look even better in person though. I miss you so much…

However, if you go to the police again, I WILL CUT YOUR HANDS OFF! DO YOU HEAR ME!?

With love, Clifford.

Cleona barely had a sense of humor but, for once, she couldn’t help but laugh until her lungs were tired. Reading the utter stupidity and horror of the parchment was like huffing laughing gas for the pixie. T was tempting to just go home and keep the letter for her own personal amusement. Alas, she had a job to do.

The humored pixie arrived at the center of town to find the place overrun by a roaring crowd chanting Candy’s name. Rather than wade through the impregnable wall of wild teenagers, Cleona opted to fly over the sea of people until she landed on the building Candy was reportedly staying in preparation for the concert. Taking a letter almost as big as herself, she ended up stuffing herself down a pipe of some sort, which took her to one of the building’s massive hallways. Security roamed the halls vigilantly, of course, though Cleona simply stuck to flying near the ceiling to avoid them.

When she found the oh so marvelous door with the words “CANDY BROWN” imprinted on it, Cleona unlatched the vents on the wall and entered the room through said vents. Upon introducing herself, Cleona was rather awestruck that the celebrity didn’t freak out someone had entered room, especially a pixie. As it turned out, however, Candy just assumed she was so intoxicated (on what, nobody knows) that she was hallucinating pixies. Despite the rather white-trash behavior of the celebrity, Cleona delivered the letter and bid her farewell before leaving the same way she had come entered.

Needless to say, Clifford was happy to hear his letter had been deliver and even surrendered  to the delivery girl the money he’d saved up in jail.

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Cleona Collins
HP: 100%
MP: 100%
WC: 639/500
PC: 1/1