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    Berserker Magic

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    Completed Berserker Magic

    Post by Guest 6th November 2015, 7:09 pm

    Magic

    Primary Magic: Berserker Magic
    Secondary Magic: N/A
    Caster or Holder: Caster
    Description:
    The magic runs off pure rage. The madder the user gets, the more powerful the magic gets. The user starts off calm, and finished off at enraged. The user gets more and more angrier as they get hit. Every level the user's eyes a shade of red, starting from a hot pink, going down to a blood red. Also at max, the user is shrouded in a dark aura.

    He uses it in everyday life, whenever he wants to go somewhere or need to do something tedious. In battle, he uses this carelessly, takes as many hits as possible and uses up the now gained power. Also, since he abuses this power, it wants to not work at sometimes, because either the user isn't angry enough or it's out of juice.

    Strengths:

    • Destructive
    • Makes user faster
    • Somewhat useful in everyday life. Ex: Lifting heavy objects, his rage fuels him to do more than his normal body can do.

    Weaknesses:

    • Strains the body when used
    • Body must get damaged in order to be effective
    • Makes user less intelligent
    • Has a chance to not work time from time

    Lineage: Blessing of the Fourth Wall
    Unique Abilities:
    Limitless Strength: Makes the user strong enough to carry 250kg. Passive
    Fueled By Rage: Shortens all active cool downs by 1
    Spells:

    D Rank:
    C Rank:


    Last edited by Kazyto on 19th June 2016, 10:02 am; edited 9 times in total
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    Guild : Blue Pegasus
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    Age : 26
    Mentor : Sapphiron ; The Shadow
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    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Refraction : Sword King
    Second Skill: N/A (for now)
    Third Skill:

    Completed Re: Berserker Magic

    Post by Chaotic Rumble 7th November 2015, 4:02 pm

    Kazyto wrote:
    Spoiler:

    Hey mate, I'll be reviewing your magic.  I'm just gonna quote your magic so that we know what is was like prior to change; I won't actually reply in it.

    Alright, let's begin.

    This isn't a must, but I'd like you to elaborate more on your magic description.  It's understandable, but it's kind of short; again, I won't force you to do this, but it would definitely be appreciated if you could add more into it, such as elaborating more as to the effects of him being angry and whatnot (maybe some speed from what I've seen so far).

    First, I'm going to go into your general strengths and weaknesses:
    "Somewhat useful in everyday life" is a strength of yours.  How is this the case?  If your character just gets angry, wouldn't that be something negative?  It doesn't make sense with how you've worded your magic so far, so unless you can make this strength make sense, I'll have to ask you to change it.

    "Has a chance to not work time from time" is a weakness you have.  Now, why is this the case?  There is nothing telling me how this would be the case or why this works the way it does.  I'd need you to explain why it has a chance to not work from time to time, and how this would be activated.

    Now, for your Unique Abilities:
    Limitless Strength - At D-Rank, it's too powerful.  I'm not saying you won't be able to do this further down the road, but, you're only at the beginning of your path, so, naturally, you aren't going to be too powerful.  If you want this to flat out be a strength increase, I'd probably reduce this down to around 250kg; still insanely strong, since, I understand you're going for a strength-type magic.  However...  Since you're a beserker, I recommend changing this to saying something "the more the user gets hit, the stronger and faster he becomes" and then add how much stronger and faster he actually becomes, giving it a cap at some point.

    Makes more sense for a berserker, right?

    Final Destination - Seeing as you only have 2 Unique Abilities, I'll let you keep this, but I want it to be locked till you get to C-Rank, which it will then be available to you, which shouldn't be all too bad.

    Let's move onto the spells.

    Rage Release: Fire - First of all, I would change its duration to "instant", because you use it instantly, and the moment it hits something, it pretty much fulfilled its goal. I'm going to have to ask you to add a range to this - how far can it go? At D-Rank, I'd say about 20 or so meters at maximum range; pretty standard. I'd also like to know how far away you can push back your targets when and if it actually hits them. In regards to your "bad aim" weakness... It's kind of hard to consider it a realistic weakness, because that falls more onto your character, rather than the spell itself, so I'd like you to change it.

    Rage Release: Aura - This spell is interesting. This will need a bit of work later, depending on what your answer is for this: how many hits can it take till it breaks, and are both physical and magical attacks good to break it? Also, does it block both types of damage, or only one?

    Rage Release: Fist - I always did like a good punching spell. First thing is first - how much extra damage will it deal? Of course, it will deal standard D-Rank damage on top of how much your fist actually hurts on its own, but, how much is this extra damage? Also, how far away does the target get sent back when they are struck? Also, I'm going to ask you to add in another weakness; adding in the weakness I won't force you, but I'll greatly appreciate it if you do.

    Rage Release: Spread - I'm mostly alright with this. I don't really have much to say about it at the moment, but that may change with my next post.

    That's all for now. Please bump the thread when you're done or have anything to talk about! Thanks!


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    Completed Re: Berserker Magic

    Post by Guest 7th November 2015, 4:56 pm

    Bumpin
    Chaotic Rumble
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    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Ten Wizard Saint Member- Guild Master- God Slayer- Dragon Slayer- Legal Guild Ace- H-Rank- S-Rank- A-Rank- Rich- Veteran Level 3- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- Tournament Participation Badge- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Corrupted King of Knights
    Position : King Of Kings
    Posts : 2754
    Guild : Blue Pegasus
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 26
    Mentor : Sapphiron ; The Shadow
    Experience : 601,187

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Refraction : Sword King
    Second Skill: N/A (for now)
    Third Skill:

    Completed Re: Berserker Magic

    Post by Chaotic Rumble 8th November 2015, 8:51 am

    Hey mate, I'm back.

    Your strengths and weaknesses are fine. I expect you to roleplay your 4th weakness well enough on your own.

    Your abilities are also fine, but I want to make a comment about Final Destination - make sure that the cooldown cannot go below the duration (signature spell is an exception). A standard rule on the site is that the cooldown needs to be longer than the duration, but, with Final Destination, at best you could have a cooldown that is the same length as the duration, so, just keep this in mind.

    Alright, let's carry on with the spells.

    Rage Release: Fire - This spell is alright in my eyes. The most I'd have you remove is the 3rd weakness; you already have 4 that justify the spell enough, so this is kind of hindering it more than it needs to be hindered, unless you want to keep it.

    Rage Release: Aura - Alright, I didn't touch this spell much beforehand, but now I can. Here's what I suggest you do: it can take any hit from any ranked enemy, and will halve the damage, and can take up to 4 hits when it comes to physical damage. When it comes to magical attacks, however, it can take 1 hit, but will be able to block any spell up to B-Rank; won't affect anything higher. You still take some of the damage regardless, and take a quarter of the overall damage at the end. I'd also recommend to edit your "no movement" weakness to "slow movement", because you're kind of a sitting duck, still taking damage.

    Rage Release: Fist - The only thing I want you to do here is increase the cooldown to 3 posts.

    Release: Spread - I just realized this was a C-Rank spell; unless it was a typo, you'll need to add it in for later date, or you could change it to D-Rank. This is another spell I didn't really touch on before, but will now. The only thing I want you to change is in regards to magical attacks; this will deny any physical entry for a few posts, but magical should be fair game. I will, however, say you take 20% less damage from them in that state (to any spell that is C-Rank or below). One question, though - would this include regular weapons?

    Please bump when you're done! Looking forward to it.


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    Completed Re: Berserker Magic

    Post by Guest 8th November 2015, 9:33 am

    Bumpin all night
    Chaotic Rumble
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    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Ten Wizard Saint Member- Guild Master- God Slayer- Dragon Slayer- Legal Guild Ace- H-Rank- S-Rank- A-Rank- Rich- Veteran Level 3- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- Tournament Participation Badge- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Corrupted King of Knights
    Position : King Of Kings
    Posts : 2754
    Guild : Blue Pegasus
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 26
    Mentor : Sapphiron ; The Shadow
    Experience : 601,187

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Refraction : Sword King
    Second Skill: N/A (for now)
    Third Skill:

    Completed Re: Berserker Magic

    Post by Chaotic Rumble 8th November 2015, 1:46 pm

    Heyo mate, I'm back.

    Rage Release: Fire - Good.

    Rage Release: Aura - Good.

    Rage Release: Fist - Good.

    Rage Release: Spread - Good.

    Alright mate!

    'Tis approved~!


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    Completed Re: Berserker Magic

    Post by Aliannah 17th February 2016, 9:46 am

    Original:


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    desirée
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    Completed Re: Berserker Magic

    Post by desirée 16th December 2017, 4:53 pm

    Berserker Magic XEibTrW


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    Berserker Magic IY2eFxu


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