THESE ARE THE DAYS WHEN I HATE THE WORLD HATE THE RICH, HATE THE HAPPY, HATE THE COMPLACENT, NATURE LOVERS, BEER DRINKERS, THE SATISFIED ONES. BECAUSE I KNOW I CAN BE ALL THOSE LITTLE HATEFUL THINGS AND THEN I HATE MYSELF FOR REALIZING THAT. BE SAFE, BE SAFE. | |
1581 WORDS @myself TAGGED Using Veloce as an FC for another round; until I change it ICly. o3o NOTES | It was three in the morning; the moon hung pale in the listless dark, night sky. She couldn't sleep. She had been here before, her and the occasional, unreasonable insomnia. It was a date, they knew each other well, but she wished she didn't. As many times as she was woken up in the dark and couldn't sleep back, it felt horrible and she never really got used to that feeling. It’s a horrible, ugly hour to wake up, not yet morning, not quite night. Nobody plans to be awake at this hour, unless they have no choice. Opening her eyes by just a millimeter, the emerald orbs of her eyes could see the darkness intermingled with thin strands of moonlight pour into the room.... Room, why did it feel like she wasn't meant to be here? It was the familiar room within the confines of the citadel of Savage Skull- a home she was used to, but it felt out of place for some damned reason. She couldn't put much thought into it though.... For she was shocked out of her sleep by the loss of breath. She anxiously gasped for another breath and it felt as though someone has punched her hard in the chest and there was a severe loss of air. This was the most startling way anyone could ever wake up. She did wake up, pulling for air as if a heavy brick was sitting on her chest, and the weight was unbearable; her eyes opened wide in the darkness, staring at the ceiling high above with no real purpose. Her lungs felt tight, exhausted, and tense, and for a brief moment she actually thought she could die. Although it is a brief, barely perceptible moment; it is amazing how many morbid thoughts can fit into a few seconds. You think of death and dying, who you would leave behind, and how it would happen. The white-haired woman had thought of her own funeral often in such moments in the past. She knew that in her calmer moments this was not a realistic line of thought, but at three AM the mind takes a gander at places it probably shouldn't. She was alone in the room, like always. What if she couldn't pull that next breath of air in? She closed her eyes, took a deep breath to assure herself of the ability of her lungs, repeating the word relax over and over until it becomes a mantra in that cursed night, 'Doesn't help. I'm fucked up.' She tried to focus on her breathing, feeling silly as if she was practicing Lamaze without being pregnant. With every intake of breath she could feel her heart beat a little faster, just like the condition before a sharp fever; when you feel hot, sweaty and cold at the same time. To be honest, she felt clammy and wet and just plain-disgusting. Feeling gross, she wanted to peel her own skin off and shed anything that felt uncomfortable. he woman finally pulled the blankets on and cuddled up for some sort of comfort, but as she reached out to pull the piece of clothing around her, a terrible pain shot through her joints, causing her to shut her eyes tighter; not even daring to look at the cause of it. She just wanted to go back to sleep and stop feeling so damned miserable. She ended up kicking them off a few minutes later anyways, inducing another shot of pure pain; but not being able to handle the feeling of being stuffy and hot under the blankets. She still didn't open her eyes. Defiant and stubborn forever. She did feel like she was drowning, and once again, couldn't catch her breath. A feeling as though every muscle across her body is black and blue and constricted. To put it in short, achy and cold. Her very bones were rubbing against each other and she could feel it in every joint. Never knowing that everything could hurt even your pinky finger, but it can and does. There was a lack of lubrication, nothing to help her joints move freely and easily. If this pain had a sound, the female could only imagine it to sound like metal rubbing against metal, loud, painful and screeching. She just wanted to lull herself back to sleep, but pain did’t like the sound of it. Her eyes lids fluttered and teared with exhaustion. She tried to stretch her limbs in hopes that it would hint at her muscles to relax. But, she felt like she was pulling tight plastic rubber bands and everything was sore, "What's even happening?" She mumbled in a croaked voice, feeling stale saliva on her lips and pangs and waves of pain roll through her with the slightest of movements. "Aedre. You're awake?" The utterance of her name caused the agonized female to open her eyes furtively and turn her body to the side of the bed from where the towering, but familiar shadow loomed over her, "Hm?" She questioned with that single sound, observing the humanoid-eagle standing next to her through the curtain of her snow-white bangs. "You've been sleeping for a good stretch of two days, now that's a feat that got me worried..." Orel spoke, his voice as assuring as it always had been, "... But, now that you are up, you should tell me how you feel; since your answer determines my next set of actions." "What? What actions?" Aedre questioned back, her face burying itself into the mess of sheets and pillows around her; thus muffling her voice by a fair bit. It seemed as if she had developed a strong allergy to light itself. "I don't have much time for your cross-examining questions, just let me in on your condition already. Is there something different that you feel... ignoring all the pain, that is." The eagle's voice was grave and the Slayer knew that those keys of sound held a matter of importance. "Can't put it into words, its difficult, but--- empty... should do it. Its unsettling, enough to make me feel vulnerable and scared to my very bones. Its happened before, I've felt this same thing before... many years ago, perhaps. Can't really put my finger on when though. Stuff feels blurry. Nevermind, that's not really the answer you're looking for---" Aedre spoke, but wasn't allowed to continue any further, as her sentence was cut off in the middle with the barging in of her avian friend's monologue, "That's pretty much the answer I'm looking for. Now, just do one last thing for me, try using your magic. The slightest use of it, I don't care- just a shadow of its presence. Show it." His order caused the lady to raise up an eyebrow, her expression demanding a reason for his strange request, but the shake of Orel's head convinced her otherwise. He was really in some deep and serious mood. So, sighing a bit, she raised up her right hand in the air, her eyes registering the presence of several band-aids it. Just that vision brought back scenes from that cavern, the poisonous darts, the faces of the twins. She shrugged off the misery tugging at her mind though, while trying to conjure a small orb of water in the palm of her hand; a simple parlour trick. But.... it wasn't working. No matter how much Aedre focused, nothing showed up- except an understanding nod from Orel, that is. "Its just as I suspected... Well, on any note, sleep soundly for another hour--- if you can. I need to make some arrangements." The avian ordered, walking towards the window and placing his leg on the silt, all ready to take off. But Aedre was bewildered, absolutely clueless and it was not a state that she could accept to be in. The white-haired female jerked her body up in a sitting position, ignorant of all the pang of pain that shot across her entire body, "Wait, what? Where are you going? Orel--- answer me, what arrangements are you talking about?" She questioned helplessly, while her heart wouldn't stop hammering out of fear. She was sure that in that empty room, anyone could hear that bundle of muscles in her chest. "Lie down, rest, I say. I'll answer all your questions once I get back. But be patient for another hour. This is a question of your benefit and you future; and I'm not allowed to risk either of that." And with those words, the eagle flew off into the brilliant night sky, leaving a scared woman behind- a woman who was no longer capable of grasping the situation she was in. All she knew was that she trusted the bird. Without another word, she pushed herself back into the warm bed, clothed in nothing but her pajamas... 'How did I even get into these?' Her mind mused, while she let her fingers discover all the band-aids and medication that ran even on her stomach; contemplating at that second that the avian was the one who got her into the clothing. But, unlike any other female, the thought of nakedness didn't even bother her; after all, Orel was privy to so many secrets of her life, she didn't care if it extended to physical stuff as well. Not to mention, she had numerous other matters muddling her mind right now. So, there she laid, a being with a sore, sick body and a troubled mind. |
deltra of gangnam style