A Team is Happening... Maybe (Private for now)

Nikolai loved the library, more than anything else in the Pegasus Grounds. While most of the place was adorned with grand statues and architecture, the library held what he valued more than anything else; safety. Here, he was safe from the rest of the world. Rarely did people invade his sanctum, and never was it with the purpose of getting him. He would very often lose himself here, spending hours reading and not even noticing where he was anymore. Today was no different. Immersed in his book, he had no idea what was happening around him anymore. So, when someone was now standing behind him, he had no idea whatsoever. He did realize this though, when he found himself ripped away from his world into the real one.

When Akemi placed her hands around his neck, Nikolai visibly shook, his attention now forced away from his book. Without moving his head he looked around desperately, his face full of panic. When Akemi spoke and Nikolai manged to identify her, his shock and fear seemed to fade, replaced more with confusion and anxiety. After she spoke and pulled away, Nikolai looked at her, his face bright red and full of confusion. He clearly was not anticipating that, nor was he ready for it, but he didn't seem to hate it. "Wh-Wh-Why did y-y-you do th-that? Y-You scared th-the crap outta me." With a few slow, deep breaths, Nikolai managed to calm down. However, his blush was still huge on his face, she had been acting cute right there, and it didn't match his expectations of her at all. She had to be teasing him again, why else would she act like that?

When he calmed down, he stood up to match her, turning to face her and leaning slightly on the table. "You want to make a team? I guess that's not a bad idea, I mean, it'll be a lot easier than doing jobs alone. However, are you sure you really want me on it? I'm sure you could find some more able people to work with you. I'm not exactly the pick of the litter. You could probably do better without me in the way." Nikolai liked Akemi. She was nice, albeit forceful, and one of the few people he could speak to without falling over himself. However, he thought much more of her than himself. Why would she want him on her team? She was pretty, strong, confident, everything he wasn't. Plus, if he was on the team, what if he lost control? He could scare everyone else away, he'd be alone, she'd stop talking to him... Nikolai looked down at his feet, unable to understand why she would want him.

No matter how hard he tried, Nikolai couldn't understand people's enjoyment of out making him frantic. It wasn't like his standards were hidden; he practically had what he liked and didn't like written on his face. Yet still, people seemed to love breaking his comfort zone. Akemi was definitely not an exception to this. He couldn't even decide how he felt about it. It reminded him of someone he'd rather not talk about. Part of him wanted to like it; she was pretty, funny, nice, and had all the qualities he looked for, but he knew that she was just teasing him, and he refused to let himself buy into it.

He sighed when she laughed. Of course this was all hilarious to her. Meanwhile, his heart was still halfway around the block. What if he had thought that she was someone here to snap his neck and kill him? He could have hurt her. "Why would you wanna hug me exactly?" That was also something he couldn't understand. Was her usual teasing not enough for her anymore? Why would she push it like that. No matter how he tried, Nikolai couldn't think of a practical situation that made sense in.

And now she was blushing. Was the tease still going? She had to be building up to something. Nikolai put up his mental guard, preparing for another attack. "I'm just not sure how helpful I'd be, that's all. It might be a waste of time to have me." Here it was, she was trying to bait him in and get his hopes up. Honestly, that was kinda weak, he expected something better. "I know you don't like me, I'm not dumb enough to think someone like you would have standards low enough for someone like me." He placed his chin on his hands, trying to think of other members for the team. He didn't interact with a lot- ok, barely any of his guild mates. However, there was at least someone who came immediately to mind. "Why not ask Akeya? I'm not exactly close to her, but she seems fairly professional, and probably decently strong as well."

Nikolai was completely confused. Akemi's actions, her tone, they all betrayed a different story than he was used to. She was upset that he insulted himself? He couldn't piece it together. Try as hard as he could, it wasn't adding up. Then she slapped him and his thoughts broke apart, shattered like a glass thrown at the floor. Stunned, he stood there in shock; his mind and face completely blank. Suddenly, his mind starting running a mile a minute. He looked at Akemi, his annoyance clear. "What was that for?! What's wrong with you liking me? You just said you didn't! Why are you punishing me for listening to you. You tease me, and apparently hide things from me, and then get mad at me for not knowing." His frustration grew with each word, seemingly getting more and more aggressive. "I can't tell what's true if half is unspoken and half is a tease." He took a breath, turning away from Akemi briefly as he ran his hands through his hair. He could feel it inside him; a little voice, slowly getting louder and louder. Telling him to scream at her, rage at her, it her. He suppressed it with all he had, realizing what was happening to himself.

'Calm down. Calm down. You're losing it. This is EXACTLY what you feared. You get close, you fight, you ruin it. Stop. Stop. Don't run this. You have a friend. Apologize, grovel, kiss her feet, save this.' He turned back to her, his expression tired and sorrowful. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for." His voice rang with regret. "I was just in shock. What I mean though, is that I don't know what you feel right now. I can't read your mind; if you don't tell me the truth, I can't know it." He moved slightly closer to her, standing in front of her. "I have a low opinion of myself; Everyone around me in my life taught me how little I mattered to them, and how useless I was, and it stuck to me. I guess I just accepted it a while ago. You are so far one of 4 people to think differently of me, and I thank you for that. So tell me; what do you want, I want to understand this." He looked at her with a questioning glance. The team could wait, right now he had to fix what trouble he had caused.

Nikolai didn't know how to handle this situation. Well, not like he knew how to handle most situations. But this was different; it was fast, chaotic, and growing more and more unstable by the second. He didn't mean to tear into Akemi, he really didn't. This is what he wanted to avoid. Hurting his friends. He hated it. When he saw her cry, part of himself seemed to break apart a little. Great, he made a girl cry. At least she seemed to cheer up a bit when he calmed down. That was good. She apologized too. Everything seemed to be alright so far. She actually seemed to be smiling. Yah, things were fine. The situation was resolving itself. Now he-

And then he was kissed, and the nuclear alarms went off.

Nikolai froze completely, every part of him completely in shock. She kissed him. She, just kissed him. He didn't know how to react at all. He could feel her body pressed up against him, he could feel her breathing, it felt so.... strange. Yet, he didn't hate it. In fact, he really liked it. Feeling someone so close to him, it felt nice. He had always dreamed of this, of finding a girl who would want to be close to him. Yet, this was not at all how he expected it to resolve. He had imagined it a lot slower. A few weeks of blushing encounters, asking her out, going on a date, kissing her under the moonlight outside her house. He had imagined it all -much- more than he'd be willing to admit to. Yet, here he was, ending a former fight with it. With Akemi, of all people. It's not that Nikolai didn't like her. She was definitely pretty, and smart, and friendly, but that didn't add up to him. She was forceful, brash, and a tease. Why would she suddenly start acting bashful, and then suddenly kiss him? Could she really like someone like him?

As Nikolai tried his very best to wrap his mind around the situation, his body moved on instinct. When she pressed up against him, he slowly raised his arms up, placing them lightly on her wait, and found himself returning the kiss. He knew that he was in shock. In a few moments, his heart would be bounding and he'd be too busy trying to stutter out "Why did you do that?" to do anything else. But subconsciously, part of him really wanted to enjoy the moment. To put away his fears for once and enjoy another's embrace. Akemi had managed to force her way past his nervous self, allowing him a few moments of reprieve before it returned.

When she pulled herself away, Nikolai could feel his senses return to him. He wanted to jump away, to hide from the situation. But he steeled himself; he had to deal with it. That definitely wasn't a tease. There was something to this. He moved over behind her, tentatively placing a hand on her shoulder. "It-It's alri-right. D-Don't worry, j-just r-relax. I-I-I mean it-it's n-not like I h-hated that or-or anything. I actually re-really enjoyed th-that.... I-I mean, y-you're smart, pr-pretty, f-funny, wh-who wouldn't want t-to kiss s-someone l-like you?" He tied his best to comfort her. It was true, she really was a great woman. There was no part of him that really rejected the idea of being with her. It's just, this was moving fast. Really fast. He would have to slow it down, but right now priority was making sure she felt alright.

Akemi's body shook and her mind went blank, when Nikolai place his hand onto her shoulder. She wasn't expecting him to be so nice to her after it, she had expected the guy to be mad at her for moving so fast or being so forceful toward him. But what he said to her, was really nice. She felt her embarrassment disappear and her happy mood was returning. Akemi wanted to take this slower now, otherwise it would possibly not work out.

She did a twirl and face Nikolai. Her face was still bright red, but happy now. Akemi brought the guy into a tight embrace, not saying a word for now. She didn't want to break the hug for now, but needed to talk to him. With that thought, Akemi pulled away and looked Nikolai into his eyes. She opened her mouth. '' I like you Nikolai, very much at that. '' She paused for a second. '' But, i think you'll agree on this, we should take it slower for now. And really focus on the team. '' She smiled brightly at him after it.

Her face turned a little mischievous next though, as a thought popped into her mind. Akemi didn't waste a moment though: '' Although, i do hope you'll ask me out on a date at one point. ''

This entire situation felt as if it was completely gone beyond Nikolai's grasp. Right now, he felt as if he was forced to play into Akemi's hands. He didn't want to hurt her, so he had to make sure that he was calm the entire time. That was a lot harder than it sounded though, especially in that situation. He saw Akemi as a friend right now. Not to say that there couldn't be something later on though. She was smart, pretty, nice, and had a lot of good qualities. However, she was also forceful, blunt, and didn't fit Nikolai's dream girl at all. Still, she liked him, so that meant he had to at least give her a chance, right? Maybe it could work out between them?

When Akemi embraced him, Nikolai's body started to tremble. While it was sudden, it didn't break through him this time, and he was still trying to cope with the kiss. Shakily he tried to reciprocate, placing his hands lightly on her back. He didn't say anything, but was clearly trying to formulate some kind of protest, and failing. When she broke it, he seemed to relax, his face showing pure relief. "I-I understand. I-I-I think w-we sh-should t-take it s-slow." When she mentioned going on a date, his blush grew event worse. "I-I-I-I th-think I w-will."