Zaeil Braveheart

Name: Zaeil Braveheart.
Gender: Male.
Age: 18
Birthday: 4th of July.
Sexuality: Straight.
Special Characteristics: Scar on his right arm from the beast's attack.

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Personality:Zaeil is kind, friendly,clever and caring person. Always decides to make friends with the people he meets. His mother says that he was the kindest person she ever known as she saw Zaeil helps alot of people. Since his mother passed away, he want to become less dependent to his father and become the strongest mage. In his free time he typically takes naps, watches sky , and plays strategy games such as chess. Often spending time with his closest friend, Ken Leoheart playing strategy games.



Even though, by his own testimony, he lacks bravery, he will sacrifice himself and face almost certain death, for the sake of his family and friends without a second thought because he didn't want to lose anyone close to him since he already lost his mother.



In battle, he is able to stay relatively calm in most situations and carefully look at the situation at hand.

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Likes: Chocolates , because he loves sweet things especially chocolates. Playing chess because he loves strategy games and he used to play with his close friend. Looking at the skies at night and count the stars until he fall asleep because the stars at the skies remind Zaeil about his mother that always told a story about stars when he was still little boy. Now his mother already pass away.

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Dislikes: Person who hurts his friends because he dont want to lose someone again after he lose his mother. He also dislikes lizard and frog and killed them if see it because his mother dislike it too.

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Motivations: Showing his father that he is independent already and be the strongest wizard.

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Fears: Phobia with needle/injection because his mother was died after the doctor inject his mother.

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General Appearance


Height: 5.5 ft
Weight: 126 lbs
Hair: Messy dark blue hair.
Eyes: Dark brown.
Skin Tone: Light.
Appearance: Medium body build, muscular, always wearing his favorite black shirt under his white hoodies and skinny jeans. Always wearing his favourite headphone. His favourite black shirt and headphone was given by his beloved mother.

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Guild/Council

Guild: Blue Pegasus.
Tattoo: Right shoulder.
Rank: D

Get rid of the date. For this is not of the current year 2012, it is a completely different year that has not been posted yet for the story is not ready.

Capitalization is needed, as well as proper punctuation.

Your personality makes no sense. Clean it up, and get into detail about how he is when around other people.

What else does he like? Almost all of his likes should go into the like section.

Everyone doesn't like SOMETHING, be it a type of attitude or a pet peve there is always something bothering them somehow. You are not Buddha

That isn't a motivation, tell us what MOTIVATES HIM to never give up. Just saying he never gives up is not a motivation, it has to be something else he sees, hears, or believes in that inspires him to continue on no matter what, or to better himself- those are motivations.

167cm? 57 what? Add proper increments such as Feet, inches, and Lbs (Pounds).

Bump when edited.

Edited already :D

First off, do not double post again. You do, I will ignore your app for an entire day and let others know not to touch the app.

Unfortunetaly you came at a point where details are strict, and thus I will hound you for every ounce of detail you have in that brain of yours:

Why does he like counting the stars till he falls asleep? You said he enjoys thinking games like chess, why is that not in the LIKES section-further more why does he like thinking games? Why does he hate people who hurt is friends? There should be more dislikes, at least 2 more and reasons why he doesn't like them. Why is he afraid of needles?

I want to see a lbs (Pounds) translation for your weight, that way it is easier to tell if your character is underweight for having a medium body build. Further more, is he muscular, toned, or no muscle but just slim?

I also want to see that first word in your personality Capitalized, you missed one, though you did good capitalizing for the rest of your personality, but dropped off everywhere else. I hate seeing uncapitalized words, for then it just feels like one giant run on sentence with no beginning or end.

Remember:
Details, Details, Details, DETAILS!

Edited , Anything i should edit ?

I want you to do some personal research, to see if that weight is healthy for your character. It seems just a bit off.

Next, your grammar. I was trying to ignore your sentence fragmenting, but now it is just over hand. It is hard to read your personality. Please find the proper sentence structure, the proper tense of the words, and make it all look nice. You do that, I see it as approvable.

My height is 5 feet, 5 inches and my weight is 126 pounds thats makes my BMI ( Body Mass Index ) is 21.0 which is normal weight , so its healthy for my character :D