Grief and Reparations

Life had become simultaneously more and less complicated in the last few days. The changes with Patricia had left everyone more than a little shocked, both in the du Wolff household and the Sinclair-Ragnos household. Add to that Raici’s presence on the island, and it was a little chaotic. Patty, or rather Professor, had been true to her word about being able to undo the conditioning that Maker had performed so that the clone wasn’t immediately hostile toward Vandrad anymore, which was at least a start, but she was still keeping the clone under close observation just in case… but on the flip side, Vandrad had been able to confirm beyond the shadow of a doubt that Maker was using an ability to manipulate Mercury and others around her. While one the one hand it was disappointing and sad to know that he had been lying the entire time, it was also provided many of them with a sense of relief that they could go back to viewing him as the sociopath he truly was, and treating their plans for him accordingly.

But today was not about Maker. He’d been wrapped up as the central focus of Mercury’s time for months at this point, and she was ready for a break, if a small one. There had been some talk amongst her and Vandrad, Themesycia, Cyrene, and Zemenar about establishing the first holiday for New Rhaegar. Both peoples had been through numerous trials and struggles for countless years, and while there had been many celebrations thus far for their freedoms, they hadn’t really taken a moment to honor and reflect on the lives that had been lost during their respective wars and imprisonment.

Eventually, the idea had been proposed to establish a memorial day, one that would involve supplying the island’s residents with paper lanterns that would be lit later on during the night, where they would be released out over the open waters of the ocean in memory of the loved ones that were no longer with them. The announcement was well received by everyone, and the citizens had been diligently preparing for the day. For the most part it wouldn’t involve anything too formal; everyone had been invited to join with one another on the beachfront, where there had been stations set up with refreshments as well as places for people to collect lanterns for the ceremony later. There was also a place where a podium had been set up next to a space where a curtain was covering a statue that Mercury and Vandrad planned on unveiling for everyone. Otherwise, everyone would more or less spend the day with their individual families in the stretch of coast line that had been set aside for the event, telling stories and exchanging memories until it was night.

For now the sun was still out. It was still morning, and they would be making their way down to the beach in a couple of hours, but first there was something that Mercury needed to speak with Vandrad and her father about. She’d asked both men to meet with her in the manor, in one of the smaller parlors where they could have a moment of privacy. She was dressed in a casual but presentable outfit, sporting a black top with sheer sleeves that was tucked into a pair of high waisted pink and white shorts. Simple black shoes with pink ribbon lacing around the ankle completed the ensemble. While she looked as collected as ever where she sat with Vandrad, waiting for her father, there was a mild nervousness simmering beneath the surface of her emotions.

It wouldn’t take long for Zemenar to arrive, the older Xocili dressed in a light pair of khaki pants with an open button up, floral print top over a white shirt. Mercury looked up from where she had been idly scrolling on her iLac and smiled, slipping the device away to stand up and give her father a hug. “Hey, dad,”

He returned the gesture with a warm smile of his own. “Morning, you two.” Knowing Vandrad wasn’t huge on hugs, he merely placed a hand on his future son-in-law’s shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze by way of greeting. “What’s up? Did you need help with something?”

Mercury shook her head, gesturing for Zemenar to have a seat. “No, I actually just had something I wanted to discuss with you both. I didn’t want to make a decision on this without running it past the two of you first.” Sitting back down, she took a quiet but deep breath before looking up at them. “I would like Khelben to be able to participate in the holiday today.”

Zemenar all but froze in his seat, clearly having not expected this particular topic of conversation. Ever since both men had found out what Mercury’s brother had done to hurt her, Khelben was a subject that her father had attempted to avoid for some time. Understandably so. It was a difficult situation for everyone, but perhaps hardest of all on Zemenar, who was having to struggle with the love he had for his son against the anger and disappointment he had in his son’s actions. One didn’t need to be an empath to recognize that he was already at a loss of how to respond, leaning forward a bit in contemplation with his hand clasped loosely together. Khelben had been in prison for months at this point, all but forgotten by nearly everyone. The vast majority of the island’s residents had no idea what he had been locked up for, nor did Mercury have any intentions on telling anyone that didn’t need to know.

Her father shifted a bit awkwardly in his seat. “That’s… very big of you,”[/color] he offered quietly, clearly still trying to get his bearings. “Are you sure that’s something that you’re ready for..?”

“I don’t think I’m ready for him to be fully released,” she admitted slowly. “And I’m sure neither of you are, either. But… I have been visiting him. In jail. A couple times a month.”

“You have..?” Her father looked all the more stunned by the news, turning to glance at Vandrad to see if he had been aware of that before turning his attention back to his daughter.

Mercury shrugged. “He’s my brother. He hurt me in ways I don’t know that I’ll ever fully recover from, and I know I should hate him. Some days I do. But he’s the only family I have besides you. I’ve gone my whole life without having any family, and if Khelben and I are going to have any chance at repairing anything with each other… it’s not going to happen without me making a few sacrifices to my pride. He and I both have to be willing to confront it. So.. yeah, I started visiting him.”

“But more than that, this holiday is about remembering who we’ve lost. We’ve all been persecuted and imprisoned for so long, I don’t think any of us have had a real chance to grieve. And the fact of the matter is, he knew our mother and spent most of our life with her. I didn’t. No matter what he’s done, he deserves the chance to be a part of this. And while I’m not asking either of you to be comfortable with his company or to consider giving him a chance at forgiveness… I just… wanted to see if it would be okay to let him be a part of this, preferably with as little lashing out as possible. For my sake, if not for his. But I didn’t want to surprise you guys with it, and I wanted to give you a chance to tell me if you’d rather I didn’t bring him along instead of just… making that decision on my own.”

It was a big ask. A huge ask. While Mercury had been the primary victim of assault, that didn’t mean that it hadn’t affected either of the two men sitting in front of her in deep ways. She wasn’t simply going to assume that bringing Khelben along was the right thing to do just because she alone was okay with it. So she pitched her thoughts and waited in nervous silence to see what they would say.

Both men were silent for a long time, Vandrad watching her and Zemenar looking at a spot on the floor while he wrestled with his own thoughts. It was Vandrad who broke the silence, reaching over to take his fiance by the hand and assuring her that he agreed with her. The internal tension within her seemed to loosen considerably as the future king continued, admitting that he hated Khelben and likely always would, but Mercury’s reasoning was sound. Her brother had been controlled and enslaved as much as Mercury had, and he had lost everything and everyone with no chance to truly cope with that. As long as she felt it was okay and appropriate, as long as Mercury was comfortable with it, then he didn’t see any reason to put his foot down against it.

She leaned against his kiss, a small, relieved smile on her face, resting her forehead against his affectionately as he told her that he believed her a much better person than he would be in the situation; he was proud of her. “Thank you, baby,” Mercury told him softly, giving his hand a squeeze back. Vandrad informed her that he would be on his best behavior… and might even say hi to him. The Xocili shook her head, her smile deepening into a smirk. “You’re so bad.” Still holding his hand, she finally turned to Zemenar, her expression settling a bit. “Dad..?”

Zemenar continued to be quiet a moment longer before he finally spoke. “I… don’t know if I’m ready to see him, yet,” he admitted. His shoulders drooped and he sighed. “But then again, I don’t know that I ever will. I need to see him again eventually, I just… I don’t know what I’d say to him. He needs his father, but I don’t know if I can be a father in this scenario. Not to him, at least…”

Mercury watched her father carefully as he spoke, observing the struggle in his words and on his face. “Dad… I’m not going to be mad at you for loving him, still. That’s not going to make me feel like you don’t care about what he did to me. He needs you as much as I do… If I’m being honest, he probably needs you more.”

Her father finally looked up then, his eyes wet, and from the way he looked at her she could tell that she’d hit his worry on the head. He was stuck in the middle of an awful situation where he felt like he had to pick sides, but he didn’t need to do that. Mercury didn’t expect that of him; no one did. He could be upset with Khelben and still be his father without anyone thinking that he was brushing aside Mercury’s trauma. Finally, he offered her a sad smile. “I never got the chance to raise you… yet despite your circumstances, I’m always so thankful to see what a wise and compassionate young woman you’ve become. It’s humbling… and I’m proud of you, too.” Father and daughter shared a smile before Zemenar nodded gently. “Alright. He can come.”

“Thanks, dad.” She got up and leaned over where he sat to give him a lingering hug. When they parted, Mercury turned back to Vandrad. “Would you mind reaching out to some of the others to let them know so they’re not caught off guard? I haven’t actually told Khelben about this so… I need to go talk with him. And probably help him get ready; some clean clothes and such.” Presuming he agreed, she’d give him a soft kiss on the lips. “Thank you, love.”

---

“You.. want me to what?” Her brother looked at her in wary disbelief through the bars of the cell.

“I want you to come to the ceremony today.”

“Is that even allowed?”

Mercury raised a brow. “I’m going to be queen, so I’m pretty sure that means I get to make some of the rules,” she reminded him humorously, if dryly.

“Fair enough… but are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Not really… but I do know that it’s the right thing to do. This day is for everyone, Xocili and Rhaegarian alike. And if you’re going to have any chance at making things right with me – and everyone else – you need to start showing that you’re willing to take those steps instead of just being content to hide in your prison cell for the rest of your life. They need to see some effort on your part. But more than that, you can’t start making things right with any of us until you start making things right for yourself… A lesson I’ve had to learn a lot over the last few years.”

Khelben was quiet for a long, long moment. “And… dad and Vandrad are okay with this?”

She shrugged. “Vandrad will never like you. I won’t pretend otherwise. He will only ever tolerate your existence and if he didn’t think it would upset dad and I, he’d probably kill you and not think twice about it. But, he agrees with me – you need to be there. You need this as much as everyone else. And dad is upset and disappointed with you, but that doesn’t mean he hates you, or that he doesn’t want anything to do with you. He’s just… struggling with how to move forward, like we all are. I can’t promise that someone won’t make a snide remark here and there, or give you dirty looks or anything, but that’s just the price you’re going to have to pay. At the very least, no one is going to intentionally cause a scene. Today is too important.”

He gave it some silent thought before he finally nodded. “Okay. I’ll come.”

“Good.” Using her magic, she undid the lock on the cell, sliding the gate open and stepping aside so he could emerge. “Then let’s go get you something fresh to wear.”

---

Some time later, a number of people had already gathered at the beach. Mercury had helped Khelben find an appropriate outfit and get cleaned up. While the du Wolffs weren’t keeping him in a state of destitution, it wasn’t exactly easy to keep clean in a cell, so she made sure he was plenty presentable and comfortable for his brief reintegration with society. As they made their way to the shores, she could see that many had already arrived from the mainland. She didn’t see Vandrad yet, but she knew he’d show up eventually. Khelben walked a beat behind and beside her, looking like he was one jump scare away from turning tail and running back to prison, but to his credit he pushed forward. Mercury didn’t say anything to encourage or assure him one way or another; while she knew that most everyone would likely be respectful and not cause any issues, that didn’t mean people weren’t going to find their own ways to be mean with him. She wanted him there but she didn’t plan on coddling him.

That said, she also didn’t plan on making a big deal about it and announcing his presence to everyone. He could make his own introductions with anyone that didn’t know him. Instead, she made her own rounds greeting wise, slowly making her way toward Mythal and Serilda. “Hey guys! Thanks for coming.”[/color] Seri gave her an extra firm hug, offering to provide help anywhere it was needed. “I think we’re more or less set, unless you wanna help hand out lanterns as people arrive. But pretty much everything else is done.”[/color] Mercury shifted over to Mythal, returning his embrace as well, the darkness slayer a bit more forward about the awkward situation. “Yeah I’m sure he’ll be here soon. He’ll be okay. At the very least he promised to be on his best behavior, though I suppose the standard for that isn’t very high.”

She grinned up at her future brother-in-law, more than comfortable enough in the situation to at least make some jokes about it. “Thank you both for coming. I know this is more for the citizens here, but we do really appreciate your support.”

Meanwhile, a few feet away, Zemenar had worked up the courage to approach Khelben, the son far too intimidated to cross that threshold himself. Neither man said anything for a few seconds as they awkwardly tried to figure out what to say or do, blissfully unaware of the small handful of people that were staring at them. Or at least, if they were aware they managed not to show it. “You lost some weight,” the older Xocili commented quietly, more of a statement of fact rather than a compliment or point of concern.

Khelben scratched the back of his head, doing his best not to fold in on himself out of anxiety. “Yeah, I guess I have. I… hadn’t really looked in a mirror in a while.”

“You eating enough?”

“Yeah. Yes, they give me plenty to eat. I’m not malnourished or anything. Just… not as physically active. I get time to exercise every day but it’s… y’know… not the same.” Zemenar nodded his understanding and another silence fell between them before Khelben hesitantly continued. “How have you been..?”

“Good. I’m good. Busy.”

“Mercury said that you were elected as a prime minister?”

“Oh that, yeah. Me and Cyrene, Themmy’s sister.”

“That’s nice.. Congrats. I can’t think of anyone better suited for it.”

The tension between the pair was painful to behold, both men doing their best but completely floundering in the dark. They could barely even look at each other. Finally, Zemenar took a breath and raised his gaze up. “I think it goes without saying that I am still angry with you. I still need a lot of time before I’m ready to trying fixing things with you… but I am glad you’re here. And I still love you. You know that right?”

Khelben gulped back a wave of emotion, doing his best to keep himself reigned in, giving his father a gentle nod. “I do now… Thank you. I love you, too, dad. And I know I’ve… already said it over and over again to Mercury, but I am so… so sorry…”

“I know you are. And so does she, and everyone else. That may not be enough to make things right.. But it’s a start.” Then, with only a moment’s hesitation, he finally closed the gap and pulled Khelben into a firm embrace. The younger man was surprised at first but didn’t wait long to return it, practically crumbling from the touch after practically a year of being touch starved, soft tears pouring down both men’s cheeks. When they finally parted, Zemenar clapped his hand lightly on his son’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s have you say hi to some people you haven’t seen in a while and meet a few new faces.”

At the mention of Gren, Mercury glanced over to see that the older man was, indeed, having a somewhat difficult time. The Xocili grimaced a bit. “Yeah, I should probably go help Themmy with that… seeing as I’m the one responsible for all of us being in this situation. I’ll be back.” Excusing herself, she did just that, wandering over to where the older couple was and inserting herself into a hug with Gren.

Not long later, Vriko and Khelben were having a very unexpected moment, one that was more obvious on her part than on his. The dark haired woman was staring up at Mercury’s brother, flush with the slightest of blushes, causing Khelben to falter a bit longer than he meant to before he forced himself to speak up and push past the moment with polite conversation. After that, Vriko suddenly seemed to refuse to look him in the eyes, something he’d experienced a lot of that day, though as far as he was aware Vriko didn’t know much of anything about him or his… more incriminating past. He mentioned not realizing that Mythal and Vandrad had a sister, to which she quickly replied that she was technically only Mythal’s sister, at least when it came to blood. “Ah, my apologies. I forgot that Mythal was adopted. The topic has really only come up once or twice some time ago.”

Zemenar spoke up, doing his own best to ignore the sudden tension that was entirely opposite of all the tension they had been fielding thus far, giving an explanation about Vriko’s time on the island and complimenting her outfit. She rolled with his compliment well enough, making a self deprecating joke about her demeanor, both men patiently ignoring the floundering way the words found her lips. She thanked Zemenar for the kind words about her outfit, admitting she still wasn’t quite used to such attire but was learning to adjust. Zemenar chuckled. “I know how you feel. After the last few decades, I had all but forgotten what it felt like to put on a nice suit.”

Vriko then remarked about the awkwardness of the gathering, finally turning to look at a slightly confused Khelben before straight out asking him how he was feeling about not being in a prison cell. “Uh…” he stammered, surprised by the boldness of the question. Most people had danced around him without drawing attention to the obvious, but she’d jumped right to it. Now it was his turn to turn a little flush, though not for the same reasons she had, his eyes darting away as a wave of embarrassment rolled over him.

“Vriko, I don’t think..” Zemenar started, trying to gently steer the conversation in a different direction.

Khelben softly cut him off. “No, dad. It’s okay. Honestly, I’m glad someone did mention it. It’s been.. A bit unpleasant to try talking to everyone and pretending everything’s… normal.” He gulped but then managed to look at Vriko again, offering what may have been his first genuine, if small, smile that he’d had in… quite some time. “Truthfully, it’s nerve wracking. I’m really out of practice with my social skills, and… it’s no secret that no one here likes me very much. They’re all being polite and respectful, and I appreciate that they are willing to let me be here for this. But it’s… not easy to navigate.”

He gave a half chuckle, even as Zemenar put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. With some noticeable relief in his posture, Khelben gave Vriko a slightly wider smile. “Thank you for asking, miss.”

A bit of time passed in idle conversation before one by one, everyone in their group managed to find themselves camped up in the sand around where Serilda and Mythal had set up with the twins. All throughout the shore, Xocili and Rhaegarians had been busy trading stories and memories of those they’d lost, and their group was no different. The moment that her father and brother had gotten started talking about her mother, Mercury had practically been glued to the conversation, sitting next to Vandrad like an eager child with her knees up against her chest and her hands wrapped around her legs. Bandit sat on her shoulder, hopping back and forth between the engaged couple and preening himself.

Zemenar had been talking a bit about Scylla’s performing career. Mercury had learned some time ago that her mother had been a professional singer before the invasion, and that she had met Zemenar through a mutual friend that had taken him to one of her concerts. But aside from a few descriptions about the woman’s personality, she’d never really heard too many stories of her life. Overall, she’d been a friendly and compassionate woman that was involved in her local communities and had a bit of a wild playful side to offset Zemenar’s more gentle demeanor. Mercury’s father chuckled as he finished up a tale, turning to look at his son. “Remember that time you and Nikos managed to catch that baby qeikrek, and you tried to hide it in the barn?”

Khelben’s eyes frowned for a moment before they went wide, and he gave a small grin. “Stars, I completely forgot about that.”

“What’s a qeikrek?”

“The closest Earthland creature I could compare it to is a monkey, one of those smaller breeds, like marmosets or capuchin. Long purple-blue fur with a forked tail. They’re very high energy and curious. My buddy and I thought we could keep it as a pet if we could keep my parents from finding out about it. I must have been… what, sixteen at the time? Seventeen?

“About that, I’d imagine, yeah.”

“It lasted all of five hours before she came over to investigate all the noise. The thing was tearing up the inside of the barn and we couldn’t catch it fast enough to stop it before she heard. It took us two weeks to clean the mess, and I thought I was going to be grounded for the rest of my life.”

Zemenar was practically giggling, the most life they’d seen in the man for quite some time. “You almost were. She was pretty ticked… but we had a good laugh about it in private when she told me about it later”

“Did you tell Mercury that you were dating mom’s best friend when you two met?”

“What?!” The future queen’s jaw dropped, her gaze flicking over to her father for confirmation… onto to see the older man scratch the back of his head awkwardly with as sheepish of a grin as one could make. “Dad, you player..!”

“Now now, it wasn’t that bad. I’d only been on a few dates with Nyx at the time. We weren’t all that serious, still kinda getting to know each other. It only lasted for a few weeks, before we called things off, but… I think she realized I was smitten with Scylla. Nyx tricked us into our first date; set up lunch with each of us separately at the same time and place, and then conveniently didn’t show, leaving both of us by ourselves.” He smirked and shook his head. “Or at least, that’s what I was told by both of them. I’m not convinced that Scylla wasn’t in on it, though. She’d certainly dressed more like she was expecting to be on a date. I was a bit dumbfounded when she walked into the restaurant, staring at her like some silly teenager.” His chuckling slowly softened, as did the rest of his countenance, as sorrow began to break though over the memory of the start of their lives together.

Before he knew it, there were gentle tears rolling down his cheeks. “I miss her every day,” he said quietly, burying his face in his hands and crying shamelessly, if softly.

“Dad…” Khelben reached over and put his arm around his father’s shoulders, fighting off his own tears.

Mercury had been moved as well, reaching up to pet Bandit quietly even as she leaned against Vandrad. “I wish I could remember her. Even if it was just what she looked like.”

Khelben turned to look at her without pulling away from their father. “Have you never seen a picture of her or anything..?”

“No. I mean… I technically saw her… or at least a fabrication of her… while I was in Omothol. But I don’t remember it. All of my time in that nightmare realm was scrubbed from my databanks. I know I had a vision of some kind, and she was in it, as were you and dad, but that’s it.”

Her brother thought for a moment before nodding. “Let me see one of your holographic projectors”

Using her magic, Mercury quickly conjured a small device and tossed it over to him. He caught it easily and took a moment to interface with it wirelessly. A moment later, a still three dimensional image popped up of the woman, focused on her face. She had lavender hair so pale it was almost silver, with gray eyes and an almost regal look to her. Mercury’s fingers were practically shaking as she took the device back, staring at the image that was altogether familiar but not. She wiped a stray tear from her eye, hugging the device to her chest. “Thank you, Khelben… Thank you so much…”