Bad, Bad Ex-Boyfriend

“Can I help you?”

The man had been sitting at a table at one of the local restaurants. He’d been enjoying a date, as a lovely woman was sitting across from him and looked to be right about at the swooning stage. He was probably a drink or two from being able to get the bill and suggest the woman come back to his place for a ‘nightcap’. By all means, he should have been on his way to getting lucky.

That was when the blue-haired Willow had walked up to his table. At first he had mistaken her for a waitress but no waitress, save for certain bars, would be dressed like the Xocili. The man couldn’t help but give her a once over, since she wasn’t exactly leaving much to the imagination. But after a moment or two of the woman staring at him, squinting her eyes directly at his form, he was forced to speak up.

Willow, of course, didn’t answer him right away. She hummed quietly to herself as she continued to look at him. Then she reached into her top, as if she was going to cop a feel on herself before the bewildered couple. But instead she withdrew a piece of paper, quickly unfolding it and holding it up before her face. After a moment of further study, she moved it closer to the man, looking between what apparently was an image on the paper and his face. “Y’know it’s a little hard to make it out, given all the marks over your face…” she said. “But yup, I think I got the right guy!”

The man’s brows raised in surprise. “I’m sorry, do I know you? Are you looking for me for one reason or--”

He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence as Willow swiftly lifted her leg and brought it down in an ax-kick on his shoulders. She hit him with such force that his head went through the table, sending all the silverware and remnants of food flying and falling. The other woman screamed and leapt up from her chair as a collective gasp fell over the rest of the diners. The man tried to push himself up from the wreckage of the table, only to have Willow’s foot snap up and kick him across the face.

“Ya know, it ain’t slick to knock up one broad and cheat on her with not one but two other broads, especially one that’s already popped out a brat for you. Don’t get me wrong, I respect the game but you gotta be smoother about these kinds of things. That or let your intentions be known right from the start. Otherwise you get people like me who are gettin’ paid by your exes to kick your dumbass,” Willow advised the guy, delivering kick after kick into his stomach. She seemed almost bored with it, her hands tucked into her pants pockets and kicking him with one single leg.

After several minutes of hard abuse, she finally relented, as the man twitched on the ground. “Sorry for ruinin’ ya dinner, m’lady. But maybe vet your date next time, eh?” she said to the other woman. Bending over, Willow reached down and plucked a leftover ravioli from on top of the man’s head before tossing it in her mouth. “Hey, not bad. I might have to come back at some point.” she remarked to the waitstaff as she turned and walked out the door, humming a tune that had wormed its way into her head.