This is Actually the Worst

Hosrius Camnus "The Dark Angel"

Job Log #9747

Hosrius wasn’t quite sure why he had been dragged into this little test of Saffron’s. As she had outlined the details to him, apparently given to her by her mentor, he couldn’t help but wonder how that involved him at all. She had to work on her abilities because she couldn’t control them and, not to sound rude, but that wasn’t really his problem. And yet he agreed to go with her; he considered Saffron a friend and if there was something he could do to help her, then better he accompany her. Besides, it would give him some insight to what she could do -- he hadn’t exactly seen what her magic was and was honestly curious to what she was capable of. They were to go up a mountain and make camp at some kind of cliffside that had been honored as a meditation and training place by other fighters hoping to hone their skills. The idea of Saffron doing any kind of meditation was almost enough to make Hosrius laugh but still he went. He made sure to pack accordingly, having spent many a night on mountaintops camping out.

His armor’s internal heating system kept him nice and cozy as they walked up the steep cliff. Saffron was complaining about the chill in the air and Hosrius, looking to be ever so helpful, brought up his armband and checked its readouts. “Ah, it’s not so bad. It’s just below your planet’s temperature for freezing,” he informed her with a chuckle. Her response was to continue to complain, demanding to know why her mentor hadn’t decided on somewhere warmer, such as a secluded beach. “Well, and this is me just guessing, I believe he would have figured out that you would rather spend your time laying around enjoying the sun rather than trying to work on your magic control. This will keep you on your toes -- counting that they don’t freeze and fall off.” He couldn’t help but throw a small teasing comment at her.

The slope that had been used as a training spot wasn’t much farther and Hosrius could actually make it out. More importantly, there was apparently a cavern just below it that would be suitable for a makeshift camp while she practiced her magic. In they marched, removing themselves from the blistering cold air with the stony, natural sanctuary. Pilgrims from prior journeys have contributed to the camp for the ones that followed; pallets made of material found on the mountain had been constructed to be used as beds and a firepit lay not far from the resting spots. “Each traveler contributes something to the camp, making it better for those that follow after,” he observed, nodding in appreciation. There was a sense of unseen camaraderie between those that had come here to hone themselves, something the Jirian respected deeply.

With that said, he had no intention of camping out like a savage when he had advanced technology on his side. The backpack he had brought along with him was set on the ground at the rear of the cave and then he took a few steps back. “I don’t know what ‘Old Yellering’ is, Saffron but based on your use of it… no, I don’t think I’d be willing,” he responded to her half-hearted tease, even as he input commands into his wristband. After initiating the sequence, the backpack started to unfold itself, laying in metal foundations and expanding the flexible material over the skeleton. Within a few seconds, a compact but spacious tent-like structure had been constructed out of his backpack. He stepped up to the doorway and it unfolded for him, revealing a comfortable looking bedroom, complete with bookcase, sofa and queen-sized bed. He glanced back at her. “And no, there’s only room for me. I’m here as a friend; there’s nothing in your mentor’s orders that says I have to sleep in the same situation as you. I’m you… what’s the word you Earthlings use? Right, cheerleader. And I’m happy to cheerlead for you from the comfort of my reading chair while you meditate. Now, I’ll grab some of the dinner supplies I brought and I’ll get some meals started for us. It’s best if you have a full stomach when you brave the cold to train.”

Hosrius Camnus "The Dark Angel"

Job Log #9747

“Well, I imagine it’s not the greatest of reminders but at least it’s more of a challenge than a beach would be. Here you’ll feel compelled to do the work if only to keep warm. There, you would… What's that thing human females wear at the beach? Beekeenee? Swimming attire; you would just lie around wearing swimming attire. And obviously you wouldn’t need my positive and charming influence to keep your wits about you.” Hosrius replied to her remark about the comparative backdrops for both her time in Pergrande and their current situation. “Also, humans haven’t evolved to walk without toes? That seems like a really unfortunate biological design flaw. I thought toes like your human’s appendix; still there but not really needed. That’s good to know.” Making a point to show how invested he was in the new discovery, he brought up his armband and made a few notes within his databanks. It was hard to tell if he was simply yanking her chain or earnestly recording newly discovered information.

When they reached their destination, they made camp -- or rather, Hosrius made camp and Saffron took in the sight of the patchwork bed she would be uncomfortably sleeping on while she was on this trial. She had a moment where it seemed she was going to try and coax him to let her crash within the tent but he was quick to shut that down, explaining that her rules were not his and he was there as moral support. She groaned at the idea of meditating, insisting that it hadn’t worked for her in the past. In the meantime, while he prepared food, she was going to go and punch a tree or something similar. He chuckled as he watched her go and then headed into the tent.

He’d done a bit of research on what humankind considered food. While he hadn’t tried everything, there had been certain dishes that had spoken to him and he, in turn, had gone out of his way to try them. He found their meats extraordinary and their sweets hard to stomach, the idea of the cake Saffron had once had him try causing his gut to twist into knots. So instead he had gone out and used some of his newly acquired jewel to purchase some meat from the local butcher. He also discovered that he was a fan of mashed potatoes, corn, peas, squash and certain kinds of soup. He’d run tests on several things to make sure none of them were poisonous to him and then he’d stocked up. After all, the supplies on his ships would only last so long and given how slowly he was gaining traction on finding his target, it was entirely possible he’d be on Earthland for quite some time.

As Saffron went off to do whatever kind of training she was thinking of doing, Hosrius got to work. Lighting the campfire was simple enough and as he placed out all the ingredients for their meal, he brought up a catalogue from his armband. He had scanned in several recipe books from his local library and was keyword-searching for something involving his current set up. Once he’d found one; roasted duck with potatoes and corn on the side, he got to work. The Jirian liked to be prepared and he had spent a good portion of his earned money to buy all of the cookware one might need in any situation. He skewered the duck on a roaster and placed it over the fire, programming it to turn slowly and then continued to prepare the sides.

By the time the food was well on its way to finishing, Saffron made her return, summoned by the delicious smell of their meal. He plated everything for the two of them and dug in, humming happily at the result of his work. It wasn’t often he got to cook, as he was usually so focused on his mission and the details surrounding it. But he did enjoy preparing meals when he got the chance. Saffron remarked about the meal and he chuckled. “If you think that’s good, remind me to have you try Pavonian sincatas. They’re kind of like jelly but they are mixed with seventy five different flavors. They’re the perfect after dinner treat; just mellow you out and relax your entire body.”

He was already preparing to clean up when she insisted that he needed to ‘throw hands’ at her. He assumed that meant she wanted him to fight her and he scoffed as he gathered the dishes. “No, of course not, don’t want to topple the shelter but toppling poor, magic-less me is perfectly fine,” he complained as he placed a pot of water on the roaster and dumped the dishes inside of it. “Do I at least get to pay you back if you hit me too hard? Maybe shoot off one of those toes you clearly need so badly?” he teased her as they exited the cave and headed up the cliff, seeking the special summit they’d heard so much about.

Once they arrived, the Jirian rolled his neck and stretched his arms to either side. “So what am I here to do? Just punch and kick you around? Or well, try? I still don’t see where I’m going to have fun with this.” But he was there and he put up a tight guard, showcasing his military training. If this was going to happen, then he was going to take what he knew and put it to work.

Hosrius Camnus "The Dark Angel"

Job Log #9747

The idea of fighting a mage up close and personal didn’t exactly appeal to Hosrius like Saffron seemed to think it would. Keeping his skills sharp was one thing but without even the slightest bit of magical power, it was like he was trying to bash his head against a metal wall and hope it broke. All his concern did was make her grin and insist that it would be fun, which honestly sounded like it would be far more enjoyable for her than him. Apparently, as she saw it, they were due for another face off after her defeat at his hands during laser tag. She did express her belief that her magic most likely wouldn’t even factor into the sparring and took a moment to explain exactly what it was that she could do with her power. It was fascinating to hear about; Hosrius could appreciate a skillset that helped strengthen the user as they took damage. And if that was true, then there was a good chance that she wouldn’t be hitting him back with increased strength that would knock him down, so long as her magic didn’t multiply the force.

Besides, as she explained it, she wasn’t supposed to be exerting a lot of power but rather learning to control what she already possessed. With a sigh, the Jirian accepted his fate and followed her out onto the mountainside, the very picture of a begrudging participant. As he set himself into guard stance, she took one last shot at him over his complaining, opting to compare him to an old man. He snorted and shot her a smirk. “Don’t worry, I’ll be just fine relaxing in my cushy tent. You, on the other hand, might want to collect some of this snow to use as an icepack; you’re going to need it.” And with that last comment, the two of them engaged.

Days passed and Saffron’s ability to control her magic grew immensely. Though the Jirian couldn’t sense magic in any shape or form, he could tell by the way she moved and held herself that she was quickly gaining confidence. Training in the low-oxygen atmosphere served its purpose in a lot of ways and even Hosrius could admit that his own regimen during their time on the mountain had helped him better his skills. Luckily Saffron had insisted that he use some of his technology as well to battle her, giving him an ample opportunity to test his gadgets and weapons against a magic-wielding wizard. Saffron bemused the idea of going back to her mentor and telling him that his training idea had worked. “Well I believe that’s why a mentor, mentors,” he shot back as he finished dismantling his temporary home and reducing it to a backpack once more.

As he turned to her, she thanked him for his assistance. Apparently her inability to control her magic had been a major point of self-contention and him coming to help her out had meant a lot. She insisted that she would be just as quick to repay him in kind, should he need it. Smiling back, he closed his hand and gave her a fistbump, recognizing the action now. “I'm always glad to help.”