by Leona Jarnefeldt 12th November 2020, 1:33 am
Leonidas frowned when he heard his sister's invitation to speak freely.
"Do you think I'm being funny?" Leonidas asked his sister with a stern voice. It was clear that he was more than a little upset about how his sister got to travel the world while he was stuck at home with their mother having to fend off constant demands for grandchildren. What Leona had said probably sounded like she was mocking him and he was reacting to that. Instead of getting defensive Leona took a deep breath and thought about Samira Nassar's advice to slow down and think before talking. That was easier said than done when standing in front of an angry lion, but Leona had to try.
"I'm totally serious, Leonidas. Tell me how you really feel about me and why you resent me. Don't hold anything back." Leona replied in a completely serious tone while making eye contact with him. Now that he knew that she was not mocking him Leonidas paced back and forth in front of her and calmed down a bit before speaking again.
"I hate how I got stuck here while you got to travel the world. I hate how I had to hear all about your adventures from people around the village while all I had to look forward to was shaping metal and having to hear Mother ask about grandchildren, grandchildren, grandchildren." Leonidas started off angrily.
"No how was your day, no how did everything go in the blacksmith's tent, no did you manage to make the deadline for those tools, just when are you gonna give me grandchildren? Day in and day out. It gets old fast." Leonidas groused. Leona had the good sense to remain quiet while her brother was ranting. He had been hanging onto those feelings for the better part of four years and now he was unloading them, so it would behoove her to keep quiet until he was finished.
"I'm a bit unhappy, Leona. More than a bit. I envy you and I know that I shouldn't, but I do. I want some of that freedom but I'm never going to get it. I'll be stuck here for the rest of my life wondering what it's like just beyond the horizon." Leonidas said to her, then went into a sullen silence. Leona had never seen her brother act this way before, so she would have to proceed carefully when addressing him. However, she was not going to be cowed into submission by her older brother. If he got verbally abusive with her Leona would gladly show him the error of his ways.
"I never thought that I'd be free either, brother. I'd stare at the horizon and wonder what the world was like. I was certain that I'd never get to go beyond the village in any meaningful way. Those few times we went beyond the village boundaries to get water or iron ore felt like it was as good as it was gonna get for me." Leona calmly said to him. She was not going to go on the offensive or tell him how limiting her experience living in Nebdoui was because he too had lived a limited life here. Instead she would address his argument one point at a time.
"Yeah. We were both trapped here. The horizon was standing and waiting for us just beyond our reach." Leonidas commiserated with his sister. He knew what she was talking about when she mentioned the horizon.
"I wanted to be free to travel ever since our dad told us stories about his travels. I wanted to see the things that Old Man Mustafa told us about like genies and flying carpets. When I finally got my freedom to go see those places and things, the price I paid wasn't worth it." Leona confided to him. His eyes narrowed.
"What do you mean?" He asked, a stern tone returning to his voice and an angry look crossing his face. She could tell that Leonidas felt like she was making light of his feelings by sounding bored with the freedom she had "won" that day. Leona recalled Luna's advice to think before she acted and calmed down. She did not get defensive but remained calm and addressed his point.
"When I was exiled I got to leave the village and travel like I always wanted, but I had to worry about whether Nebdoui would still be here when the exile order was lifted and I could finally come back. I was worried that the Crimson Sashes were gonna burn the place down and kill everyone. I was worried that slavers would carry everyone off in carts and I'd come back to a deserted hometown. I was also worried about Joshua having you and Mother killed behind the chief's back to get back at me for turning him down and beating him up." Leona admitted to him that her time away from home before the exile order was rescinded was far from carefree. Leonidas' face softened a bit when he heard that confession. Leona took advantage of the pause to speak further.
"You have every right to be envious of me, Leonidas. I got to go free and travel the world and meet a lot of people while you were stuck here for over four years. I don't like the price I had to pay, but I got to be free while you didn't. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do." Leona assured him that he had the right to be envious of her. He had to play the dutiful son to their mother while Leona was out trotting the globe and punching evil in the face. If their places were reversed Leona would definitely be envious of Leonidas.
"I... I didn't expect you to be so honest with me, Leona. I thought you didn't care about this village at all. I thought you'd go away and never come back." Leonidas said, his tone softening even further once he realized that his sister was not merrily skipping around Earthland and whistling happy tunes while he labored endlessly to keep the village and its allies supplied with iron weapons and metal tools and endured their mother's demands for grandchildren. Leona stayed silent while he spoke.
"I was angry at you, Leona. I was angry for a long time. I wanted to travel and see the world beyond this village. I wanted to go beyond the horizon. But instead I got stuck here with nothing to look forward to other than work, work, and more work with freedom being forever out of reach." Leonidas said to her, losing his anger with each sentence after the second. Leona kept quiet and was rewarded with more of her brother's feelings about her adventurous life.
"I don't know what to feel anymore, not after what you told me. I can't stay angry, but I'm still angry. I'm in the shadow of my little sister. Every day I hear people talking about your latest adventure in some corner of the world and what you accomplished there. You're out there and I'm here." Leonidas continued to speak, his anger starting to fade away before flickering back to life like a stubborn spark left over from a campfire. Leona remained calm. As long as she remained calm and let him talk without getting defensive the Wizard Saint stood a good chance of getting through to him. Leonidas tried to form more words but eventually gave up and went silent, giving Leona a chance to speak.
"It's OK, Leonidas. I'm not expecting you to get over your feelings this instant. You can be angry if you want." Leona tried to assure him that it was OK for him to have feelings without sounding patronizing. Leonidas glared daggers at her for a moment, then his face softened again.
"I shouldn't be angry at you, but I am. I shouldn't be, though. I'm confused right now, so I'm just going to go back to my tent and sleep for awhile. I'll see you later, Leona." He said to her.
"Later, Leonidas." Leona bade him goodbye for the time being. Leonidas walked past her and opened the tent flap to leave when he turned around.
"Thanks for not getting mad at me, Leona. I know this tent isn't the best place to talk about our issues, but I'm glad we talked about them." He said to her. His anger was all but gone.
"No problem." Leona said to him. Her brother waved goodbye and left the tent, leaving Leona alone with her thoughts.
That conversation turned out a lot better than it could have. While Leonidas had started the conversation angry Leona did not get angry herself. She stuck to Samira's advice and gradually calmed her brother down by calmly addressing his points, making him feel that his opinions really mattered to her instead of agreeing to them just to get him off her back. While tonight was not a decisive win for Leona, she still felt like she had a good chance of making peace with her brother once he came to terms with his resentment towards his sister the Wizard Saint.
With that in mind, Leona took the rifle and bandolier off of her cot and carefully took her left arm and shoulder out of her outfit top before she went to sleep. She covered herself with the blanket her mother had loaned her and tried to go to sleep before she had to wake up and pull guard duty again.
[Post Word Count: 1,598]
[Total Word Count: 10,254/11,000]