Ends to Sin (Mission/Beaux)

Frankly, this whole idea of her going alone terrified her. Was she ready to be in a position to fight at all? Would she have to worry about hurting others because of her lack of control over this curse? These questions all plagued the brunette’s mind as she sauntered down the road into Era. Not having a direct way... nor really the flight control capable to use things correctly, the idea she might be able to psyche herself up with the extra time from a walk towards the capital town was something she had not stressed herself enough to want to hope would last days. Sadly, the small port she came in on was less than a couple hour walk away, but recovering from the seasickness she had was always her issue. The curse of a land bound girl perhaps? It wouldn’t be the first nor probably the last time that she would have to hear that kind of line at all.

She had to believe she was capable of doing something like this. If the ambassador and even the commander believed she was up to the task of doing this job, she had to place at the least a portion of her own confidence that she could do it. Always being the beacon of optimism, she lately couldn’t find it in herself to be that way. Instead, she lived in constant fear of herself when it came to fighting at all, trying to exclude herself from training with long naps or taking menial tasks in other places that would give her an excuse. It was tough honestly, not being able to see the optimistic points in yourself that you can see in others, enough that she had even began to put herself down in times where patching herself up would be the one thing to give her the extra push that she was looking for going into anything. Be it work on the old farm or this job now. At least she knew she had others to voice her concerns... though frankly Ambassador Von Weiss was an intimidating person to think to come clean with. At least for her, Kalama knew her best.

Era left nothing much to the imagination outside of what she was told about it. A large, bustling town with the headquarters overlooking the whole town as a light of protection. It was a nice concept honestly. If only she flew properly, meeting her partner would come much easier. Well... perhaps there was a first time for everything? Taking in a deep breath in and out through her mouthguard, the cursed mage gathered up the energy as best she could, pushing her mind to become more imaginative and when she opened them, she could feel something like an extension of herself. Looking over her shoulder, the wings expanded out and her eyes widened with joy. Baby steps seemed to be the best way. Maybe she could get to the light at the end of the tunnel like Kal had after all. Being looked after like a stray animal all this time was a slowly saddening and depressing feeling.

It took the brunette a moment to get the hang of her wings movement and soon she found herself taking off. Just keeping to the focus of flying helped her quite a bit in moving upwards towards this. Unwilling to look down and lose her focus, the farm girl had kept her focus to the building climbing up and up until she had gotten close to it. Closer. Closer. She was making great headway towards the building when she suddenly realized something... ”Shoot, where’s the breaks on this here thing!?” She thought just seconds before she smacked into the side of the building, peeling off like old wallpaper and then dropping onto the ground, now seeing chirping birds flying around her. Sure, it hurt, but at least she had learned the basics of flying, so.. yay~

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658/8000 personal count
658/16000 thread total

Well, they always said “no pain, no gain”, but did that really have to mean that trying to NOT get yourself hurt meant anything to whomever came up with that silly line? It wasn’t that she couldn’t contest the results of having made any progress over no progress at all, however the cursed mage didn’t see it as much more than that in the moment. She felt a bit dizzy, mostly stupid and embarrassed as far as feelings went, but there was also doubt. Could she ever learn to use this curse to its potential? Or was she unable to ever control this thing? Would it just eat away at her until she either gave in or it simply took over her and forced the hands of others. The fears themselves wrapped around the mages mind like that from time to time. She couldn’t control herself in some ways and as sad as she was to say it... it wasn’t really something that she procured so easily as a decision. It was also a decision that had to be thought of as it helped her to keep herself on track.

She needed to grow stronger, but having to pace herself as to hope not to lose herself to the curse and be too strong to stop, or just to become mentally corrupted like the few she and Kalama met on their job had her worried for safety. But, Aoi was never one to try and keep fear from normally affecting her work, however this kind of fear could result in her own death or that of her best and closest friend. It was a haunting thing and it caused her to fear herself since the aforementioned job. It was something she left out of her report, hoped wouldn’t have been seen by Kalama, but even then she didn’t know what was done in those reports. It was an upsetting feeling not knowing the truth. Worse off for her was the imagination picking up and playing various scenarios or dreams of these getting out and what happened through these. Mostly ending up with her locked up, killed, or simply slaughtering everything in her path... all grim and none of them ever positive.

It was amazing that she could keep herself pieced together as much as she had, but her aspirations were her driving mechanic. She needed to do it. It wasn’t a matter of wanting as much as it was needed. This was not something that only affected her. Not anymore at least. But now, a males voice snapped her out of her mental gymnastics. It wasn’t hard with a nice masculine boy to help coax the woman into a good mood, but as her winced eyes popped open, pink orbs settled onto the angelic wings he had before moving to his face. Was he a gift from god!? A part of her wanted to pounce up and hug him tightly, but she had to keep control of herself entirely. No matter what part of her it was. She needed to learn self control in order to better herself. Perhaps if that could be done, then MAYBE she could be more normal again... Kalama was growing and it was about time she did too.

Aoi popped up into a seating position, rubbing her head while she huffed into her mouthguard for a moment. She pulled the guard free and let it hang down around her neck, letting out a small sigh. ”I’m mighty fine, Angel.” She replied, her heavy accent sitting in her tone of voice while working her way up to her feet. ”I’ve gone and been hurt worse in rodeos and family reunions than that there wall, not sayin’ that ain’t a mighty good wall.” Moving her soothing hand rubbing to the back of her head, she began to loosely shake small bits of gravel from her hair, not trying to fret over making it perfect, but it soon moved to patting the dirt from her uniform and then turning to face him, but not before stumbling back a step and then laughing it off aloud. ”Sorry ‘bout that there. Names Officer Aoi Himawari from Dies Irae. Pleasure to meet cha, partner.” The partner wasn’t to mean she knew who he was, but the nickname was probably gonna stick around the same way calling him Angel would... depending on his name, of course.

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1906/16000 total words