❖ PUMPKIN PICKING GONE WRONG ❖ (E/Solo)

There was a lot that made up Major General Suzuki’s list of responsibilities: catching criminals, booking them, and sometimes participating or even leading investigations if he needed to. But sometimes his duties were more menial and didn’t require so much skill and expertise. It was such blue-collar work that really anyone could do it if they were durable enough, so it wasn’t a surprise to see what he saw when Doppo arrived in the pumpkin patches.

Why he was in a pumpkin patch, you wonder? Autumn was a rather eerie season, but pumpkin picking was always a profitable business. Perhaps this year’s harvest was rather fruitful and the fields were littered with more pumpkins than the farmers knew what to do with! Whatever the reason, Doppo didn’t necessarily care. He and many others were being paid an abnormally impressive sum to pick them, and so he and many others tolerated the manual humdrum for the evening.

Schwip. . . schwip. . . schwip. . .

The sound of garden shears snipping the orange gourds away from their plant could be heard all over the patch, but Doppo found himself in the outskirts where he was comforted by the sound of only his snipping, but he didn’t mind it. If anything, he preferred the solitude.

Schwip. . . schwip. . . schwip. . . Doppo continued and hauled the pumpkins into a push-wagon full of enormous pumpkins of similar hue. Despite their number and size, he somehow managed to balance an unrealistic amount on this tiny, unimpressive little push-wagon. He had talents like this that everyone except himself really noticed, but it was not enough to say anything. If anyone went with him tonight, they’d say something along the lines of “Nice job, Suzy. You’ve got quite the load there.”

But even the complacent Major General was not so talented that he could ignore physics for too long. The push-wagon was not heavy, but any sudden movement threatened a pumpkin to fall. He didn’t want to hit his head or deal with the mess, so it was beginning to look like it was time to head back since he had plenty to give already. But such was not so simple.

Caw! Caw! Caw!

A single crow fluttered in the autumn night sky, overcast with dark, grey clouds that smelled like leaves and trouble. Doppo looked up and watched the crow zig-zag, circle about, dart and dip in the sky like it was diseased or suffering from rabies, even though he wasn’t sure birds could suffer from rabies to begin with. Something was wrong with it, and such became clear the moment it descended from the skies and plummeted onto Doppo to strike him.

Doppo could have dodged it, but didn’t. It’s beak pierced the thin, pale flesh of the center of his forehead, opening a small wound that cut and bled. Blood ran down his face from his forehead to the bridge of his nose, to his lips, and then his chin. Needless to say, he was shocked, but his face didn’t emote enough to show. His lazy eyes widened more than usual, but that was it.When he looked down at the crow that struck him in some sudden frenzy, it was twitching on the ground, dying. It died, but even in its short-lived life it looked decayed and dying.  

Caw! Caw! Caw! CAW! CAW! CAW!

The crowing was more sporadic now, and the noise of it increased twelvefold. From the corpse of the ill-looking crow to the sky again did his bright blue eyes wander, and up above was there a mass of black, fluttering birds. They all looked like the crow before, and Doppo wasn’t so foolish as to catch something from them when they would surely plummet upon him again.

As expected, many of them descended to strike, but were met with the ground or his fist. Despite their bravery (or foolishness), they took a hit to neutralize. He didn’t brace himself before, so that’s why bled. Every strike after that, even though it had touched his bare flesh, had not pierced a hair.

This continued for a while and Doppo was beginning to wonder if he should leave. No one was nearby from what he could tell and the frenzy of the crows showed no signs of stopping. He could just hold up his fist and manage somehow, and such a feat was more boring than picking pumpkins, and frankly, he did not enjoy the noise they make at all. But eventually, the crows stopped coming and fluttered around in a craze above him. The redhead watched indifferently, tapping the scratch on his forehead with his fingers and looking at the blood that smeared across them. He didn’t look upset and didn’t look like anything for that matter, but couldn’t help but wonder when he should patch it up.

Unfortunately, he mistook the pause as a luxury to ponder. Meanwhile, the birds were congregating, pressing into each other. Condensing. Seconds passed and they were no longer a flock of crazed birds but instead a single mass of some beast. It’s limbs were short and muscular, its head was small compared to its massive torso with a chest that looked so muscular that he wondered if it were inflated with air. It was six times his size and and towered over him like a juggernaut. He was going to have to fight it, but thinking of it as some creature inflated with air instead of innards somehow made Doppo more comfortable with fighting it.

It wasted no time in lunging at Doppo, and despite having birdlike features, its strikes were incredibly humanlike. It balled up its “fist” and punched Doppo, but was blocked by clasping the sides of his forearms together to create a barrier to absorb the blow, not that it would leave more than a bruise. But a bruise to the forearms was preferred over the face, and frankly the guard was instinctive after training so frequently. After he blocked it, Doppo wrapped both arms around its own bulging wrist, grabbing it and flipping it over itself, launching into the air and then plummeting to the ground. But such a back-breaking feat was not the end of it, since the moment its mass touched the ground, Doppo’s shoe dug into its skull, kicking and stomping on it. Needless to say, it died instantly.

Doppo plucked his foot from the skull that had now been bashed in, staring at it indifferently, watching the innards drip off it it. It was less than pleasant, and he couldn’t imagine that he had enough jewels on him to afford cleaning right after the picking. But what was really unpleasant was the cackling he heard just behind him. Probably some mob. What else would it be, after all? Nothing for Doppo ever works out, anyway.

Swish!

A scythe just barely scraped the scalp on his head, the very ends of his fine, red hairs. His head might have flown off to the side in a clean cut, one fell swoop, if he hadn’t ducked just a little bit, anticipant of its swing. The moment Doppo did, he swung his arm back, feeling his limb slam against the mass and hearing it launch away. When he casually turned around, what lie in wait for him was a scarecrow from earlier. It seems that it had come to life and suddenly the impressive pay for the pumpkin picking seemed appropriate.

The scarecrow was dealt with swiftly. “Beaten to a pulp,” as some might coin it. It was beaten and assaulted in a way that looked like Doppo was beating someone human, but it the crow was just victim to his barbaric feats. But even this wasn’t enough to pacify the world against Doppo!

A thick and ominous fog began to settle on the patch, and every sign or light or noise of civilization vanished in its thickness. Doppo was completely in utter desolation. But the one thing that accompanied him was nothing he could smile at.

A floating pumpkin-thing! It was a ragged and torn cloth with no legs and bony arms. It head was a carved pumpkin with human features and brightly lit lantern in hand. Chains coiled around it and a permanent grin stretched across its gourd.  Doppo finally snapped when he saw it!

It released bursts of dark energy, but Doppo never tried to guard against them or parry. Many of the hits he simply took! But meanwhile, he was launching the pumpkins filling his cart at it like a barrage of missiles! One! Two! Four! Six! About a dozen were launched until the creature simply stopped moving, and died.

By the time it had died, the fog had clear and that area of the pumpkin patch was revealed to be an absolute mess. But, luckily, when his eyes floated back to his wagon, stacking on top of it was still an unrealistic amount of pumpkins which he felt was enough to bring back. He could use the money rewarded to him to clean his shoes and maybe buy some frozen meals specific to Clover Town.