♪ The Panty Pirating Pervert's Painful Punishment! ♪ (Job w/ Theo)

He'd been up for hours. Were men supposed to be this worried before a date? It'd been quite a while since he'd been on a proper one, and even then much had changed... Theo puzzled over the contents of his closet, digging through it like a mole. He wasn't exactly the tidy type, so everything was sorta crammed in there, some things hung too close together and several piles full of mystery garments. Though Theo usually wore one of his many identical track suits, he probably shouldn't wear that on a date, right? Those were perfect for a lot of physical activity such as fighting bad guys and hunting treasure, but neither of those things were happening today. The only treasure he cared about was Rin, and though they'd known each other for a while, he still wanted to impress her.

Swimming through mounds of clothes, the young man lamented that everything he had was wrinkled. It was no one else's fault but his own. Also, why did he have so many outfits? Did some come with the closet? Had he really purchased so many? That didn't seem right. He was usually a jewel pincher, being like Smaug and all...and he wasn't much for fashion anyway. But there had been a weird phase in there...anyway, he finally pulled something out that didn't look too weird on him. Jeans, black jacket, gray V-neck, all wrinkled beyond smoothing.

He knew how to fix this. Ironing, you say? Naaah. Theo doesn't know how to iron, nor does he own one. To the shower! Hanging his clothes on the back of the door, he took a super hot shower, hoping the steam would make his choice of clothes more presentable. By the time he got out he was nearly having a heat stroke, but at least the outfit looked better. Maybe just a little longer...he'd leave the water running and go lay somewhere to cool down.

Laying on his floor in the buff, he contemplated the day's potential events. Would she even like the mall? What if she didn't? He'd have to watch closely to see if she was having fun, and if not he'd whisk her away somewhere else. Also, would it be weird for him to even dress differently? But he wanted to show her he had other things to wear... hopefully there was a good sweet shop in the food court. One with Red Velvet cake. Maybe a secluded bench somewhere for a little PDA...

A knock.

Oh no! She was early! Or was he late? There was some loud crashing from behind his door as he rushed to get any of his clothes on. He tripped over his trunk of treasures, then flipped over the display case with a golden eye of Ra inside. At least he didn't break the glass...Bounding back up, thumping feet took him to an chest that held his underwear. Hopping one foot at a time, he pulled those on and nearly bashed his face into the wall. "J-Just a sec!" he called, making it to the bathroom to claim his smoothed clothing. On went the jeans, then outside the sauna the socks and clean boots made their way onto his feet and a necklace over his head to take his scarf's place around his neck. Said scarf was folded into his back pocket. He was just pulling his shirt over his head when he finally opened the door, so it was still bunched up a little to show his midriff. Jacket in hand, he froze when he saw her.

She looked stunning. His icy hues drank her in, from her piggytails to the tasteful amount of leg that was visible. "You look..." Words failed and man-brain took over. In one motion he had closed the distance between them, pulling her into an infatuated kiss.

I think we should get going as soon as possible because I might-- Theo interrupted his own thought, blinking a few times as he made a valiant attempt to look her over without betraying lustful thoughts. "You look amazing," he gushed instead, nodding in approval like he would gazing upon any sought-after treasure for the first time. The black dress and accessories suited her despite how divergent it was from her usual attire. Maybe that's what it made seem so...exotic. Tantalizing. This was a first date. None of that!

"Of course we can hold hands," he replied to her question, smiling at her as he slid his jacket on and fixed his shirt so it was actually on all the way. Despite it being warm out, it seemed Theo was uncomfortable without a jacket of some sort. No outfit was complete without it. Did he feel naked in just a shirt? Anyway, that done, he closed his door and reached for her hand, lacing his fingers between hers. He hoped it wasn't too uncomfortable for her with their height differences, though arguably it was only a few inches and she had perfectly bendy elbows. "Anyway, yeah, we should go," he prompted himself, leading her down the path to the ramp leading off the Crystalli and out into the town.

After a little bit of walking, Theo started going over his mental list of things planned. It had been a very long time since he'd been on a date. Hopefully he remembered the etiquette, assuming things hadn't changed. Oh gosh. What if he made a fool of himself? What if the rules were different? Well, arguably Rin wouldn't know, but what if she looked it up? You could look up stuff on the ilacs, right? He wouldn't know...he hardly used his. Not enough pictures...

"Have you eaten?" he asked mundanely, especially since the mall loomed in the distance. Maybe he was a little nervous too, psyching himself out over the title of "date" rather than just hanging with Rin like usual, except maybe with kissing now. Besides, he'd like to treat her and impress her today. His wallet was full of jewel to blow, which wasn't something he did often. But...well, Rin was worth it. They could get lunch, or just get a snack and eat dinner together somewhere nice. Too bad this wasn't Rose Garden. He had a standing invitation to come back for a free dinner for tasting that chef's new wine that one time, and that wine was absolutely to die for..

Within moments the mall was more visible, and it looked like a piece of crust crawling with ants on an hot summer's day in the park. There were people everywhere. Why were they actually crawling on the building? Was it so packed they were having to repel in from the skylights? That was concerning. Keeping a brave face, Theo glanced at Rin, refusing to admit this date might have just gotten more complicated. "Our lucky day! Ah, things must be on sale!"

As she turned to him, his face was also glowing red. Theo looked intensely uncomfortable and violated as well. It hadn't been his rump that had been cupped, and while it was normal to brush up against some people rather awkwardly in a crowd, that felt rather intentional. "A b-bad touch..." he whimpered at first, concerned for his offended kibbles and bits. His brows were puckered and his lips had drawn down into frown, but Rin's timid, unfinished cry morphed all of his features into something openly hostile. The red remained in his face for righteous anger, brows angling more sharply and his frown evening into a tense purse. His own violation was forgotten, and his glacial hues scanned for his girlfriend's offender, though it was a lost cause in this stampede. He longed to defend her honor, but he'd have to punch a bunch of people to get the right one. Starting a riot probably wasn't the best idea...

He still wouldn't admit this was a bad idea, especially since she was making such an effort to go along with it and make it work. Their first date couldn't fail! But...it was over croweded, and no, he hadn't known about the festival beforehand. Admittedly he'd probably have still wanted to take her, because 'festival' was a fun word that usually denoted fun times and an air of glee. This was decidedly not a festival in any sense of the word as he understood it. This was just stores giving in to corporate greed by slashing prices to draw in these rabid sale-hounds. Mannerless goats...

Intend on getting them free of the crowd of molesters, Theo took the lead. He tightened his hand in hers, snaking and nudging people out of the way until they were inside. A frustrated grunt snuck from his lips when he saw the inside of the mall wasn't much better. Stores were packed with throngs of people, milling about like living sardines in their tin cans. Never had he felt such rage toward people not directly trying to kill him. Maybe his insecurities over planning the perfect date were just projecting out onto others, but were people always this self-centered and rude?

Theo'd mentioned food earlier to Rin and her stomach had growled, so before they tried to fight the tide of humans to try and buy anything, they should fuel up. Thankfully the food quart wasn't as crowded. Lunch wasn't on sale, after all, so the dining area was mostly filled with uninterested husbands dragged by their wives and then abandoned and squealing children annoyed by the noise and stuffiness, having fits over things not bought. Though normally he'd pause to let them both decide which establishment to take their business, this time he made the executive decision to head to the one with the shortest line.

"Whew!" he huffed, on edge from the general abrasiveness of the environment. Theo normally didn't get ruffled by things like this, but the crowd was getting to him. If he'd been a cat, his fur would have been standing on end and his ears pinned back. Even so, he smiled at her, though it was probably a bit weird since he was so tense. "Okay! Uh...looks like this place has tacos...why this is the least crowded place? Tacos are awesome...Oh, they have cinnamon swirls and caramel apple empanadas!" At just the mention of sweets, some of the edge seemed to fall off him and reveal the giddiness of a man who loves sweets.

Said boyfriend was about to have an aneurysm. Admittedly it had taken him longer than he'd like to pick up the little perverted turd's comments as euphemism rather than just chit chat from someone miserable at their day job. He had a hard time keeping up with all the different terms that didn't mean what they were supposed to mean. However, this jackass was being obvious, so soon his arm snaked around her waist protectively, and his arctic eyes actually belonged on his face for once. The intensity was actually irritation, and if they could have fired freezing laser beams, they would most definitely have done so.

"She doesn't share her tacos," he responded flatly, a bit mystified that he was having this conversation, let alone continuing the guise. But...Rin was being so innocent about it, he hardly wanted to be the one to break it to her what the guy actually meant. She'd be so embarrassed, and so would he for having to actually explain it! This wasn't first date material! Was the universe testing them right out of the gate in every possible asinine way?

"Not even with you?" Taco Kid quipped, zeroing in on the relationship rub and seeing yet another way to be completely obnoxious. "You couldn't handle her taco right anyway."

"Of course she would with me, and I could handle it better than some-- Wait!" Flustered, anger momentarily crossed Theo's face and his mind went to a dark place. This kid looked like a soft-jaw. All he had to do was reach out and-- no, no violence on a first date. Plus, a legal mage wouldn't assault a taco shack worker even if he deserved it, right? Calming himself, he plastered a fake smile on. "You know what? Enough of that. Leave her tacos alone. Just give us four tacos and two caramel apple empanadas."

"What kind of tacos?" the kid asked, amused with himself.

"Regular tacos...?" Theo asked, unsure of himself.

"Which regular tacos?" Taco Kid asked dumbly, tilting his head and yawning.

"..how many are there?" glowered the jello mage, dread burying into his gut.

"Twenty seven. We have fancy tacos here. They're on the menu," Taco Kid sneered as condescendingly as possible, crossing his arms as if he knew this process wouldn't be a quick one.

So, to rub salt in his wounds, the menu didn't have any pictures. Since when does a taco restaurant have zero pictures of tacos other than the generic taco on the store sign?! All there were pictures of were the desserts! They couldn't eat all dessert. Well, they really could, but probably shouldn't. He fell silent, a different type of discomfort tainting his features. Eyes squinting, he worked to recognize what words he could, though it was a chore to detangle the letters from each other in a way that made sense. Oh! That word was chicken! But...what were the others after it? Shrimp tacos sounded good, but he didn't want anything spicy on it. And avocados were the devil's fruit. But...he couldn't read the other words. What if shrimp and pineapple tacos weren't on the menu?

"Can't you just put some meat in a shell?" Theo lamented.

"That's what she said~" purred the cashier.

"Sampler!" the exasperated young man cried, throwing a hail mary. Nearly every restaurant had a sampler of some sort. Sure that would have something for both of them. "A sampler, two drinks, and two of those empanadas please!" Who would have known ordering tacos could nearly bring one to tears or blows?

Paying the rude boy and sliding himself and Rin thankfully away from him, they settled in at the waiting counter. Theo slumped over, resting his forehead on her shoulder with a heavy sigh. "At least I protected your taco..."

"You have no idea just how much I needed to protect your taco, Rin...Please trust me..."

The urge to snatch that piece of paper defiled with that pervert's number and destroy it was strong, but she already didn't understand his response to the fiend. It probably looked like he was overreacting and being weird. "N-Not a friend..." he groaned under his breath, following her to their rare find of a table. He sat down, already seeming unusually tired. "Rin...without questioning me about it, just heed my warning. When people ask to share your taco, just say no. It doesn't mean real tacos, okay?" he pleaded. Oh, dear Rin. She was too pure. It was gonna be the death of him.

Taking a moment to get his head back on straight, he blinked and stared up at her as she enjoyed her fancy tacos, as well as made a shopping request. His eyes lit up, and moments later a smile spread over his face. "If the lady wants a stuffed animal, then a stuffed animal she shall get! We'll get whatever you want. My treat," he obliged joyously, not finding her request odd in the least. He had a huge Smaug plushie of his own, after all. Maybe she'd choose the one he bought her has her very favorite, and snuggle it at night and think of him. "Depending on when we're done here at the mall, we might go out somewhere nicer and less crowded for a nice dinner," he answered the first part of her question regarding plans for the day. "Or really, whatever you feel like doing. It's open to change," Theo quickly added. She had free reign of input. If she wanted to walk and hang out somewhere pretty, that'd be fine. If she wanted to find a spot to just make-out, he certainly wouldn't object. They just had to survive the mall part, then the possibilities were endless!

As Rin redirected him to the sampler's food, Theo's eyes roved it critically. Lettuce and other toppings obscured what was actually on a lot of them. He picked up one, only to notice there were beans on it, since a nice juicy black one fell out before he could take a bite. Cringing, he placed that one down and hunted for another. Oh..this one had shrimp like he wanted. And pineapple! Looks like some pico de gallo...and some sort of sauce. Deciding to take the uninformed leap, he chomped into it and chewed three or four times. He was about to give his nod of approval....when the spice hit him. The chewing ceased, tears welling in his eyes. Insta-regret. Toddler mode engaged! Grabbing a napkin, he leaned down to hide his face under the lip of the table, spitting out the spicy bite. Righting himself while coughing and acting a fool, he grasped blindly for his drink, as if the lightly heated crema was the same as molten lava and had blinded him. Glugging half his drink down while wiggling his body, he finally seemed to realize he looked....challenged. Freezing, he took a beat to realize the evil burning was gone, so then he slowly lowered his cup and tried to pretend Rin hadn't just seen all of that. The fizz of soda still on his upper lip, Theo offered her an innocent smile.

"But, Rin..." Theo feebly warbled, trying in vain to disengage her panic. He was helpless to watch, sorta like feeling the gut punch to look away from a train wreck but being unable to in its disastrous glory. He didn't deserve her goodness, or the flash up her skirt that he was suddenly rewarded with as she face planted. He was the literal worst and all he'd done is screw up this date, from the choice of the crowded mall riddled with rude festival sale goers and perv taco boys to not being able to read and ordering spicy food. The inky haired boy wasn't too good at hiding his emotions either, so while she returned after all of that with nothing to show for it, all he could do was hang his head in defeat, red faced in his own embarrassment over the spice incident and seeing something he shouldn't have.

"It's fine..." he replied from his position of shame, idly ripping the tortilla apart and eating the pieces voice of spiciness. The bread absorbed the heat just as well as milk, but it was too late now! More carefully, he searched for and devoured a non-spicy taco to soothe his rumbly tumbly. After all this...he owed her the absolute best stuffed animal. Anyone she wanted, regardless of size and price! Finally lifting his head, the excited gleam of determination re-entered his eyes. Handing her an empanada, we planned for them to eat the sweet treats on the go while they searched for the animals filled with fluff. "Alright!" he began, standing abruptly. "The search for the perfect plushie is on. Are you ready, Rin? This is where the fun starts. Take us to any store and find any one you want, and I'll buy it for you. Find the absolute perfect one. Money is no object! One way or another, this date will get better!"

Empanada in one hand, he reached out for her free one with his so they could begin the next leg of their ill-fated endeavor to have a "good" first date. The mall was crawling with people, somehow even more than before. It'd be less of a walk-side-by-side and more lead-each-other-and-don't-get-separated kind of deal. It was no leisurely endeavor to get anywhere. Seeing a sign over the mass of heads with a Teddybear in the logo, he swam ahead of her in the pool of bodies, half tempted to gob them together in bouncy jello molds and roll them all away. But no, that wouldn't be a good, legal mage thing to do, right? Even if he didn't kill them? Killing them all would be another way to clear out the masses--- Noooope.

Pulling her into the store and expecting some sort of relief...he found it was only somehow worse inside. As if the crushing amount of fur lining the walls, making the whole area feel like an unwanted wool sweater complete with turtleneck wasn't bad enough, but it also was packed with mouth breathing shoppers, none of which were small or children. He felt like a sardine! The air was hot and dusty. The only upside was he was smushed against Rin...if he didn't think about the minimum three other strangers he was nearly merging with.

Gazing around, he put on a sunny expression, as if absolutely nothing was wrong in the world. Don't think about the perceived lack of air or the sweatshop feel. Embrace the inner stuffed animal connoisseur. Now....if only he could make them out clearly. Why the heck were the lights so dim?! Reaching forcibly around a sweaty, middle aged man, Theo grasped the first fluffy thing he could get. "Look! It's a..." he pulled it back, finding it to be a rather emo looking pony.

Theo certainly hadn’t expected to see the emo horse stuffed animal, and he certainly hadn’t foreseen that she could love such an awkward creature so much. He’d almost chucked it away when her eyes wellled up with tears, nearly panicking that he’d made such an offensive blind choice. Her hanging ‘it’s’ left his mind to run wild, inserting all sorts of negative adjectives in the silence. Hideous. Insulting. The worst. Oh, wait. Those were joyful tears. A breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in escaped, bringing a grin to his face. At least something good had come from the date, even if it was a somewhat depressed pony. His grin broadened when Rin mentioned Davis and Marge, finding it unbelieveably adorable that her other stuffed animals had such mundane names. Then again, Theo found nearly everything about his girlfriend cute or attractive in some way. He wanted to reach forward and smush her cheeks together, as if that would relieve the tightness in his chest from the cuteness overload. Why did people smush things that were adorable, anyway? Just as Rin squished the poor horse, Theo’s mind attempted to dismantle the odd human instinct, but his mind couldn’t focus on something like that for too long. The fact that he wasn’t afforded the room to even move his arms if he chose to smush her face irked him a bit. Why were there so many overweight, sweat wildebeast men in here? This was a child/cute girl store!

The young man definitely found himself relieved when the peachy hued girl dragged him onward, since he was just now noticing that the dude he had reached around was staring daggers at him when he wasn’t gazing hungrily at emopony. From what he could gather, these ponies were a hot commodity. Not just the emo one Rin was clutching, but a plethora of others. From what he could glean from the peepholes between heads, there were perky pink ones and crack happy yellow ones, edgy black ones with sparkles and one with a rainbow mohawk. Some had wings and others had horns, and all had brands on their hindquarters. Theo might be behind on quite a few things in the world, but it was highly confusing that it seemed the mob of weird dudes were here for these...adorable ponies. It was creepy enough that he now understood why there were no children or women among them. It screamed hazard, and he could only be grateful that he was here with Rin on this cursed day. Times had really changed...

Finally breaking from the sweat and musk, Theo inhaled some much coveted fresh air. Well, fresh compared to before, yet not like air from outside. No, it still smelled like the inside of a sweater, but he wouldn’t complain. Back here there were only a few people who weren’t interested in the special release sale up front. The plushies looked dejected to Theo, which was silly. Personifying plushies, what was wrong with him? Either way, he still felt a pang of sympathy sadness for the slumped and ignored animals back here, much like someone does trying to pick a single animal from a shelter knowing full well all deserve to be adopted and given a good home. He spied a bear that reminded him of Rin’s weapon, and there was a smaller version of his large Smaug he could barely consider sleeping without. Was that a weird thing for a full grown man to admit to himself? Before he could get too concerned for his own welfare, his girlfriend had made her choice for him. What a choice it was!

It was a growing trend with Theo, one that he couldn’t seem to resist. When he was at a loss for words, he took to action. As he stared at the niffler she’d chosen for him, he couldn’t deny that it was perfect. And absolutely friggin’ adorable. And squishy. And a little weird, much like himself. His name was Mallow. Hands tested the softness idly a few times before his eyes lifted to Rin’s and he smiled again, this time with a blush brought on by several different sources. At least it was less crowded back here so he could do what he had to, which was kiss her, of course! Much like he had when she’d first arrived today, Theo stepped toward her and bent enough to place his lips upon hers so she wouldn’t have to strain to meet him. After a few moments, he pulled away and winked. “It’s the best. I’ll treasure it forever,” he told her, just loud enough for her to hear over the rabble of the crowd. Mallow would be a nice friend for Smaug. Maybe it’d take those grouchy edges away from the dragon.

Turning to make a battle plan to reach the checkout, Theo noticed something disturbing. A face was angled toward them, barely above the crowd and ogling Rin in the creepiest way. It was so creepy that even Theo flinched, and it wasn’t even directed at him! As if it were a phantom, it dissolved into the mob once seen. Where had he seen that face? The food court? Were they being followed, or had he just been doing too many jobs recently and was on edge? Just as he was about to dismiss it, another face turned to them, displaying the crazed hostility of a collector. “That was the last Suicidoll Pony!” As the war cry rang out, other sweat faces turned. Not good. Very not good. “I waited in line all night! I saw you just walk in and take it,” cried another, jabbing a finger. Theo was ruffled. The man rarely gave in to petty fights, but no. Not another date wrecking thing. She loved this horse so much, and he’d be darned if someone would take it away....especially these weirdos! “Listen!” Theo shouted above the raising noise of the crowd, icy eyes glinting with rare seriousness. “Whoever tries to take this from my girlfriend will get knocked the heck out. You all might be big, but you’re squishy and ill-equipped to handle what I have to offer. I doubt your moms’ will appreciate being called to come get you early and endure the shame of their adult sons getting into a fight over a cute stuffed horse that they took from a teenaged girl,” he reasoned, letting his hands glow for extra effect. They didn’t know what kind of magic he possessed, and it seemed they were all as soft as these plushies since they immediately backed down. Some muttered about him being a mage, while others seemed to agree that calling in the mom squad would not be the outcome they wanted, so it was easy as pie for the two of them to part the sea of Personal Chibi Equine fans to pay for their two choices. It was also just as easy for them to get out of the store and back into open waters of schooling shopper fish.

“Whew....what in the world even was that?”

Oh my gosh, Rin. Staahp... Theo groaned inwardly, none too pleased to see that creep again. There were so many things he needed to explain to Rin just from this day alone! Was this what it would always be like taking her out in public? Or was it just a full moon or something? It didn't matter, because he loved being with her and would endure anything to spend precious time with her, but it was awkward to try and explain some things. Like why the guy talking about tacos was being lewd. And why the frenzied grown men waiting for stuffed ponies to be released was a little odd. And why this guy was a flat out pervert about to get falcon punched in the freakin' face!

Oh, but it was getting worse. Theo's medium annoyance with the weirdo exponentially rose once the trench coat was flung wide, revealing....panties? "P-P-Pa...w-wha....EEHHH?!" he sputtered, hands on Rin's shoulders protectively as he leaned forward to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him and they were actually really girly handkerchiefs or something. He was a man, after all. His mind wasn't nearly as innocent as hers despite him being very well behaved, so there was a small chance that his subconscious mind was playing tricks. But no, those were panties. And now he was asking for Rin's fresh innocent undies oh my lord why gtfo with that what was it with all these frakking weirdos here today such a mistake they should just leave before he decked someone-- "Excuuuuuuuse me!?" Theo shrieked at the depraved dude, flushing red from the neck up. "You can't just ask-- who even-- where is security?!" Theo continued to warble, almost as upset as his lover, though for a whole slew of different reasons.

"She will absolutely not be doing that, bucko! Take your ill-gotten panties and go the heck away," her boyfriend warned, steering her by the shoulders to turn her. "Let's go, Rin. Far away. This guy's an unabashed pervert, and I really don't want to punch anyone in the middle of the mall. Maybe we should just leave...we can find a nice candy shop outside this madhouse, okay?" he asked her, hoping his suggestion and their change in direction would ease her fears....and that that guy would take his not-so-subtle hint and leave them alone. It was too much to hope for basic human decency today, he'd soon find. But for this one moment, he was at least gonna try to get out of this crap!

"Why are you screaming? What did he do?!?!" came frantic words from the jello mage, not sure what to do with his hands. They hovered protectively around her, even holding her skirt down until she dropped to her knees. Sure, he'd heard the weirdo behind them, but had assumed it was just crazy ramblings. But...what did he do from all the way back there? Theo's chilling eyes turned on the panty thief once he was certain Rin wasn't actually hurt, but he froze. His face started to flush as brightly as Rin's as it dawned on him about as subtly as as a rhino charging a giraffe what had happened.

His lover's p-p-panties?! In that guy's hand? Those silky, innocent panties! Theo's blood pressure spiked with his rage of a righteous boyfriend scorned. "What the heck?!" he squawked, so loud that between his voice and Rin's screeches patrons began to give them a wide berth.

"Bucko with the emo hair is gonna smash your face into the tile!!!" he roared, just as the turd turned tail and ran! "Rin! Stay here...I'm gonna get this fool!" And with that, the man that loved her took off with long strides. Like this piss poor mage could get away from him. His jello abilities made it as if he had roller skates on. The slippery jello on his feet zoomed him upon the thief. Casting a simple support spell, he coated the aforementioned tile in jello under the creep's feet, knocking him off balance. The evil pervert flailed, trying to keep his balance like a toddler on ice. Theo dropped down and slid low, sweeping the feet right out from under him. As they both skittered in the jello, the perv raised his stupid stick and chanted again.

...It got....drafty.....all the sudden.....

Theo looked down, noting that indeed his boxers were gone....Frankly, everything was gone. He was stark naked and essentially wrestling a guy that not only had his girlfriend's panties, but also all his clothes. "Uh....ah...." he stammered, zipping over to some of the dated mall foliage that dotted the urban terrain with feeble attempts of nature. Robbing a bush tree thing of its overgrown leaves, he went full Adam and stuck leaves all over his naked body with sticky globs of jello. Not the best...but he was desperate. Thinking on his feet! Turning to the clothes robber that was still floundering to get out of the jello trap, murderous intent oozed from his eyes like a miasma. "Give. Them. Back." The words were harsh as he slowly approached like a predator.

Theo was red. Red from head to toe, just like human cherry jello. "I...ah...I have....leaves! LEAVES!" the young man cried, blood pumping in his ears through his feeble, damaged heart. His steps staggered a little, the embarrassment too much. Why? Why couldn't they just have a nice normal date? He didn't want her to see him like this...this way...?! It was supposed to happen eventually with romance and feels and maybe even using that diner voucher in Rose Garden and it would be beautiful and alleviate so much uuuggggh this was the worst. Of course when people yell that they didn't see anything they saw almost everything and it was a lie straight from hell that soothed feelings only if the truth wasn't obvious on her cute embarrassed face...

Legal mage or no, this panty dude was gonna die. The primal mercenary bubbled in his gut. He was never one to enjoy killing, not even when that was his living. But this guy...this guy he would enjoy murdering and delivering the chunks to the magic council. That is, if he didn't die from a heart attack right here in the middle of the mall, right on the cold tile amidst the onlookers and dated ficus trees.

Oh goody. It was getting worse. As if he needed to be reminded that the girl of his affections was standing commando painfully nearby while this perv cherished the undies he'd only glimpsed earlier when she fell so spectacularly in the food quart, but now his lovely innocent little bean was offering all her panties. "N-NooooOOOOOOOO!" Theo lamented, still red, still nearly dead. "R-in, you p-pure sweetheart....staaaaahp...I-I c-c-c-an't..."

Like heck he was letting this creeper see and take all the panties before he even-- Theo's strength was stirred. Readying to whomp this guy with jello into oblivion, just like that he was gone. Rin fell and he'd closed his eyes to avoid violating her decency, and when he opened them there was smoke. "...Uh..? RAH!" he cried, both confused and enraged. Bamboozled! Angry ice eyes scanned for any sight of the sex offender, properly ready to lay a smack down. "WHERE?"

"U-Uh..." was right, so Theo echoed her feebly. So many panties. So many red-faced, mortified girls. Such a happy, true blue pervert, through and through. One without equal, at least in his pervert ways, seated atop the pile, reveling in the lacy silkiness of his treasures as well as the devastation he left in his wake. He was a torrid terrorist. A psychopath. Theo stood in his thinly covered nakedness, hand in clasped in his pantiless girlfriend's clutches, trying to fathom what to do to fix this mess.

Perhaps taking him head on was the best route? It's not like any more clothes could be taken from him, and aside from the clothes thieving and the disappearing act with the smoke, he hadn't shown any promise for combat. More of a nuisance than anything. With his jello magic, Theo was a swift fellow, and could jump incredibly high and fast. Bending his legs in a sort of coil, he took his hand from Rin and pounced, launching himself like a rocket at brazen boogieman. The offender's eyes widened, not having the brain power to anticipate that someone might actually come after him full force. All the guy could do was try embarrassment as a battle tactic again by switching Theo's stuck on modesty leaves for an incredibly sexy red thong with black frills, somehow both better and worse than the leaves depending on how it was considered. However, despite this probably being much worse for everyone nearby, it wouldn't work on the icy eye'd young man a second time. No, his mind was set. This was the end game, even if he was stark nude! Theo hit him right in the gut, tackling him back into the mound that the jello mage didn't even want to think about. The two tussled around in the garments. The Crystal Swan member clearly outmatched the perv, but didn't really want to hurt him in front of such a big crowd, being a legal mage and all. It was easy to overpower him. There was no smoky poof. No more clothes popping. Just some full contact wrestling as they toppled down the panty pile. Theo managed a clean punch to the clothes capturing wizard's glass jaw, knocking him out cold just in time for an avalanche to drawers to cover them both. "MMMF!"

It was quite the struggle, swimming to the top of a underwear pool with a limp body in tow. The mound bubbled from the struggle beneath the surface, and the onlookers gasped with bulged eyes, awaiting the two's fates. Would they suffocate? Should someone dig them out, perhaps? Should anyone else possibly do anything? Nah. The embarrassed women were all but frozen in place in their vulnerable commando states, and Theo couldn't blame them. Being rather naked himself, he'd have much rather been hiding himself elsewhere until he could get some proper coverings. But it had to be done! The onyx haired man popped his head up, a pair of lacy whites on his head like a hat. Wriggling and scooching, his shoulders and body emerged with the offender. After jelloing the wrists and ankles together so the man couldn't get loose and cause any more grief, the panty-clad boy looked toward Rin with a victorious yet rueful smile, pretty much forgetting his current appearance in the chaos. So much for a normal date. And so much for that nice outfit he'd put on just for her. He didn't see it anywhere!

Speaking of seeing, this mound of unmentionables was impressive. What should they do now? Do they....return them? The bizarre situation seemed to have no clear answer. Maybe this dude, when awake, would put the panties back just like he stole them with the proper convincing? Maybe he shouldn't have hit him so hard... Theo lightly shook the man, really hoping he'd wake up so he could put them all back, or else he and Rin had the rest of the day passing out bottoms to angry females...

The young mage was relieved when Rin approached, though her nervousness seemed amped up. Well, she was flying free down there, so that seemed reason enough for her extra stuttering. She had a stutter on a good day! His smile was genuine and remained oblivious to his own predicament. Just as he was about to speak to her and offer a pretty lame plan that wouldn't have worked, given the mob of enraged women descending slowly, he was nearly assaulted! "Hey!" The exclaimed with a scowl as his head covering was taken, not so much because the panties were taken, but rather the lady's attitude. He absolutely didn't want underpants on his head, but to be fair he hadn't really realized they were there yet. "I'm helping! Don't hmph me..." he huffed. After their date was ruined and he had to beat down an actual sex offender in the name of freaking panties and decency, the least they could do was be a little bit thankful!

Before he could complain too much, suddenly his hand was stolen away and his body was being yanked in a direction opposite of the pile. The sound and feel of bare feet on the tile of a crowded mall was surreal in itself, but the very realization seemed to set off some sort of alarm. Right. It was still drafty, somehow even more so. Actually...the oddest sensation was the jiggling. Parts of him were freely jiggling in the air as he moved, causing him to look down and promptly shriek. "AAAIIIIEEEEE!" he yelped, eyes laying on the red monstrosity plaguing his nethers with barely covered decency in the front and less than that in the back! So small! So...womanly! His free hand jolted down to try and more successfully cover himself, but there was only so much a simple hand could do. "R-Riiiinnn," Theo wailed, seemingly hitting his emotional breaking point for the disastrous day. "I'm sorry! This is the worst! I-I need clothes! You can't see me like this, all...bare..and jiggly....gaaah!!!"

Tears prickled the corners of of the derpy jelloman's eyes, his frustration and embarrassment bubbling over. Seeing him this naked was supposed to be a magical and romantic thing one day when Rin wasn't so...clueless! And he wasn't supposed to be in a girly thong! And there wasn't supposed to be a lewd boy at a taco shop making lewd taco jokes! And there wasn't supposed to be creepy dudes fighting over ponies! The sexual predator who's kink was too many panties wasn't supposed to even be a thing, let alone here in the trifecta of mall-date hell!

As the two bursted out the mall doors, Theo wiggled his fingers free and dove into a nearby bush, crouching so that only his tomato red head was sticking out the top. It was prickly and scratchy, but the young man didn't care. The throes of panic had set in. And on top of that, they didn't even get Rin's panties back! "A-Are you gonna...break up with me?" he whimpered. The first date was toast. "Please don't. We can try again on a better day! I don't think it'll always be this way. I just picked a really bad day. Actually, there's a restaurant in Rose Garden that is fantastic, we could try to go there now if we could...you know...ah...get decent? I m-mean...ah...whatamigonnado?"