NNN Stands For No Naughty Nights [S-Rank Exam]

It was getting colder and colder outdoors now that the winter months were approaching. Thanks to modern isolation, Mura’s house suffered little to no loss of warmth as he had slumbered through the night peacefully *cackle* without *cackle* lifting *cackle* a muscle *more cackle*… Anyway, it was now morning, and the bright, orange rays shone through the settling clouds and illuminated Magnolia Town in an autumn-like fashion. Falling leaves were seen landing on the roads, gathering into rather large carpets that laid over the streets.

The young man had quickly escaped his bed and gone to the bathroom where he brushed his teeth. What he heard in the far distance resonate through the walls of his house sounded like early workers at first, so he brushed it aside and continued with his totally ordinary morning. ”Remember the far edges in your gums too,” Kyuken instructed him randomly as he floated behind Mura’s head as a blue spirit ball, “Those can be painful to deal with later on. I once got a splint stuck in my gums, and it tore pieces of it off like small flaps of flesh. It looked as if my mouth was infected by-“ “*spit* T-Too much information, Kyuken…!” Mura protested in a hilarious shock, catching his breath a moment later.

Breakfast, stretching, a game of Sudoku, and Mura was ready to meet with the guild to catch some of the latest jobs available. The workers had just stopped working, apparently, as their voices had died off. However, walking out of his house and towards the road, he was tackled by a random male. “Wah…!” he let out in shock - this morning wouldn’t give him 5 minutes or anything, jeez. He now faced a terrified look on the stranger’s face, whilst words slowly escaped the man’s frightened mouth: “Y-Y-Y… You gotta, you gotta help, Mr. Kensho…!”

“H-Huh? What’s the matter?”

“Y-You’re good at meditating, right? Right?!”

“Yeah… wait, you want to learn how to meditate?”

“Yes, please! I beg you! I really need it!”

… Ok.

WC: 340/3000

… Okay, now that Mura had invited him in - or more specifically allowed him in per request - he was still left with some context to be revealed. What? Why? “Okay, so… you seem uppity,” Mura assumed nervously given by the neighbor’s look on his face. From Mura’s perspective, the man was sweating rather wildly, and he kept eyeing the ceiling without lifting his face up… was he possessed? It was the first thought that came to mind in Mura’s head, because he certainly looked terrifying with the whitened eyes, trickling sweat pearls and shaking hand.

It was time to have the issue addressed…

“Y-Yeah, you know… just participating in No Nut November,” the neighbor answered with an awkward laugh afterwards. That answer… said absolutely nothing to Mura. *Sigh*… the wonder of simple answers, they just never got to him in cases like this. He needed more context to fathom the situation that he was so oblivious to. “… W-Would you elaborate?” he asked nicely, hiding his confused breath under his smile.

“Ah, you don’t know? Basically, No Nut November is a kind of… you know… it’s like fasting, you know, where you don’t eat or drink the whole month,” the man explained. Normally, one would be able to eat at night - otherwise, they’d die. “A-Actually, unlike fasting… haaah, it’s hard to- I MEAN DIFFICULT! It’s… d-d-difficult to explain this without my mind going numb, but… you see, instead of staying away from food and drinks for a whole month, we refrain from releasing another sort of primal desire that we men have…”

…

…

What?

“W-Wait, you mean-“ Mura let out in shock, his jaw hitting the floor for a brief moment. “Y-Yeah, we don’t entertain our monkey down there, if you know what- argh, crap, CRAP!” the neighbor expressed, charging out of Mura’s house by kicking the door open, “NEVERMIND!”

And with that knowledge, Mura was left… blank? His mind was numb now, too.

WC: 328 + 340 = 668/3000

“Hey, Mura, I heard you got company- okay, no you don’t,” Kyuken came floating around the corner to greet the shaman, watching the distinct lack of a guest who could’ve produced the strange voice earlier, “I see nobody else… who was here earlier?” “U-Uh… just my neighbor. He was-“ Mura was about to explain, but he got the idea that Kyuken might’ve known about this No Nut November deal more than he did, “Actually, Kyuken. There’s this month, now… do you happen to know about it?”
“This month? Oh, November?”
“Yeah.”
“Well… it’s the most boring month of the year-“
“Not that, I meant… welp, I’m no better when it comes to elaborating, but ‘No Nut November’. Do you happen to know about it?”
“Oh, that’s still a thing?”
“… What do you mean- it’s an ancient tradition?”
“I tried it once when I was alive!”
“…”
“No, I really mean it, Mura! And I managed to pass it!”
“… So it’s just a month where you don’t… have sexual intercourse?”
“W-What? No, not exactly - or actually, that’s just a bit too specific… you see-“

“Bullshit,” Mura expressed with a straight, pouty face to Kyuken, “That’s a dumb tradition, I don’t want any of it.” When it came to these ‘intimate’ cases, he was fond of acting childish to some extent… it just didn’t make sense to him. “… Heheheheheh,” Kyuken laughed like some old hag, “Seems to me that you just can’t imagine yourself being able to handle the stress.” Hah, how dumb did Kyuken think that Mura was? More specifically, affectable? His words wouldn’t reach him, Mura knew all about his plans. Oh, hey, try and prompt Mura to accept the challenge in any way possible! That would surely work on such a sophisticated guy like him-

“I think I can handle it,” the shaman expressed, “A challenge is a challenge. If it’s stress that I’ll avoid, then let my spirit be strong…” It was the 1st of November today. Mura had just entered the participation of No Nut November, which many other Magnolia lads participated in.

May the Lord have mercy on his soul…

WC: 358 + 668 = 1026/3000

Okay, so, uh… now that it was still morning, Mura had lots of time to… well, do his everyday thing. He was going to the guild hall, planned to find a suitable job or take care of the goods that they horded since the Halloween Party, handle the paperwork (if he ever got the chance to due to Sorano’s devotion) and go out to the world and slash at things. It sounded… mundane. For some reason, consciously being aware of your position in something - more specifically your participation in some kind of month-lasting challenge made other things such as normal life feel softly distant.

Maybe he just had to kickstart himself. Walking out through the door, with his standard gear, Mura entered the outside world of Fiore… and everything felt normal again. He waddled towards the guild hall with a serious tone and determination, a face that hid no qualms or urges. It was day 1, and he felt no stress or strains on his body… yet…

Entering the guild hall of Fairy Tail, he took a deep breath. His eyes quickly scanned over the environment; people were going out and in, to the sides, chatting, delivering completed job requests and payments as well as shikigamis handling the incomes efficiently. Hmh… with this many people coming in from completed missions, were there any jobs left for him? Looking around, he also noticed the distinct lack of his mentees Naomi and Althea, so he couldn’t pick one of them up by the collar and pull them into his mission… what a shame.

“Day 1 of the fabled No Nut November… Mura has yet to experience the terrifying urges that are about to gather up inside his flesh,” Kyuken began documenting as Mura grabbed a random job. Upon glancing at the job paper, Kyuken looked at the board again - and like a blessing from Heaven, he found the perfect job for Mura. “H-Hey, Mura… take a look at that job,” the samurai ghost called to catch his attention as Mura had yet to read the containment of the previous job paper. “Huh?” the shaman asked, oblivious to what Kyuken had come up with.

“This job would suit better… it’s another yōkai. And a rather destructive one…”
“A yōkai… *sigh* Kyuken, the Council and all; I’m a little heartbroken-“
“N-No, no, I mean- listen! This could be your chance to get over it…!”
“… *siiiigh* What do you mean?”
“I know that you regretted it… I couldn’t understand the situation that you were in, but listen… a negative episode can be nullified by a good episode! And according to this request, *cough*, ‘Our shrine has suffered more than enough from this demonic entity whose lack of morals and sense of fairness deems it free of rational thinking and bindings of the heart. If any warrior or wizard with the capability reads this, we beg for your help’.”
“…”
“See? It’s obviously one of those moral-lacking monsters, and guess who’s ideal for a hunt like this one?”
“Me, I know… argh, okay then.”
“Yes! Now, let’s go; there’s not much time…!”

Kyuken would dash out of the guild door with the floating job request. “It’s at Era!” he resonated towards Mura who simply followed suit along with Zirconis whose jaw was just hanging in oblivion. “… I swear, this is already the weirdest way that you two have started a mission…”

Era was a long way from here, so Mura and the two spirits had to take the train. Yes, he could fly, but he loved trains, so shut up. Either way, as Mura had bought a ticket, he got a flashback of his train ride with Sorano, his ‘little sister’ who was now the very Guildmaster of theirs. To think that she rose from a B-Ranked upperclassman of his to their very own leader was mindblowing, and he had given her not enough credit for such a feat. “I should bring a souvenir to her… I hope she likes giant fangs,” he wondered out loud with the ticket in his hand, “Or maybe a book… yeah, there’s a library in Era. I could buy a neat encyclopedia to her there…”

The next train would arrive at 6 in the morning. Mura had prepared a small tent for himself near the station where he would spend the night. Kyuken kept giggling for some reason, and Mura couldn’t really fathom why. The night passed by peacefully… with absolutely no chance of enjoying yourself, though, but a night was a night.

They then entered the train. Due to new trails being built towards their way to Era, it would approximately take… wait… how many days?

… Okay, so Mura had to take overnight in the train as well. Didn’t matter, he had his friendly ghosts by his sides to keep him company. Although, ever since day 2 started…

“Explain, please…!”
“As per the contract made to the Essence of Enlightenment that manifests during this month, your brain opens up to the universe… I don’t really know why your hips keep wiggling, though-“
“T-This is too much…”

It had only been one day, one day… only with upmost focus could Mura stand still on the seat, but it felt as if he hadn’t distressed himself in years.

Somehow, it felt like taking a year to arrive at Era. In front of him was the capital of the Magic Council… and it reminded him of- no, he wouldn’t… that was an episode that he wanted to forget. He was just fulfilling his duty as the Onmyōji, but he still felt so guilty inside… anyway…

Oh, she looked a lot like Hana- ARGH, WHAT THE HELL?!

All of a sudden, his hips dashed to the right, moving his entire body into a wall. Vibrating like a cellphone, he felt a strange pain surge through his body that only disappeared through more focus… his brain couldn’t focus for so long, otherwise he’d go insane…

Also… was he floating? Oh yeah, he could fly… he totally forgot about that…

WC: 1026 + 1010 = 2036/3000

Okay… the shrine was at the east side of Era. He would have to move in a hurry, because he could already hear the terrifying blasts and fires caused by the… wait, there was a lack of fires. There was a lack of destruction. The job paper described the threat as rather dangerous, and he wasn’t that far away from the east side of the town. “Hey, Kyuken!” he called the samurai ghost, “Tell me what the job paper says…!” “O-Oh, uhm… *cough*” the samurai ghost awkwardly let out before a proper reply was sent, “A rather destructive monster is wreaking havoc at our houses- I mean shrines! Uh… yes, it keeps disappearing into the sunrise, but at night it’s the strongest. I suggest that you trail it down when the sun begins to rise - if you’re lucky enough to survive until then… so it’s very dangerous and strong, Mura-“ “… At least give me a description of its appearance,” Mura commented in hindsight, while Kyuken began sweating a little. Although, this conversation helped Mura’s mind to forget about the pant problem- oh, what the fuck, it was happening again!

His hips suddenly pulled him to another wall like some kind of attractive force. He landed face-first on said wall in pain, feeling a disturbance in his magic power. “O-Owwww…” he let out in pain. Kyuken witnessed the abnormality, and upon reflection, he felt bad now. He hadn’t explained nearly enough for Mura… about this mission that he spotted…

“Mura, actually… it’s not a wild monster- or rather, not wild as in physically- I mean, not the ‘I hate you and want to kill you’ wild kind…” the samurai ghost explained in an apologizing tone. Just as he finished that sentence, said wall broke down from the inside and pushed Mura off, sending him to the bottom of the street. His sword was already unsheathed as he witnessed the appearance of a huge, bulk golem carrying…

“… A-Ahh,” Mura let out in a new tone that hadn’t been heard from him before, but instantly, he closed his mouth in embarrassment. It just… it felt so abnormally pleasant for a brief moment as something tickled down his- oh god, what was going on? Instinctively protecting his crotch with his hands, he gazed upon the alluringly beautiful woman who was riding on the shoulder of said golem. “… Ara~ Another volunteer,” she expressed whilst licking her fingers, causing a shiver to travel down Mura’s spine.

“Mura! Hey, Mura!” Kyuken came to the rescue, arriving next to the confused shaman, “Okay, sorry, I didn’t mean to! Listen, the job is about her! She’s a… well, she’s a succubus.” “… A WHAT?” Mura almost screamed out in shock. “Yes… hehe, she’s kinda full of mana too. Quite a threat… I thought she was weaker, and I wanted to troll you a little, so… uh, sorry~” So many veins popped up on Mura’s forehead, but he didn’t have time to react as something warm and voluptuous was sitting on him- oh my god, she was sitting on him. Her body was ideal for his lusts, and her boobs were wrecking balls filled with lust and horniness essence instead of milk and blood. It was too ‘yes’ to be true… and at the same time too ‘no’ to be accepted.

“Listen to yourself, screaming out nonsense right in front of a pretty girl~” she commented, not aware of the spirits accompanying Mura at the moment, “And what’s this? I sense that you’ve been under a lot of pressure, lately… that’s just perfect~” Her fingers tickled around with his torso whilst Mura tried to find strength enough to send Kyuken into his sword, but for some darn reason, his magic power had been taking a toll keeping his focus in check. Also, this succubus in front of him… as Kyuken confirmed her to be… that idiotic, bastardly, stupid ghost was in trouble, swear on me!

Her fingers slowly strolled downwards his torso. He knew where she was aiming for… instinctively, he pushed her off with the last of his strength. Everything just rang ‘thot alert’ with maximum volume. He had to defeat her in battle, not in this! “L-Listen!” he begged, looking up at the ‘previously evening, now night’ sky. He was at a disadvantage. This was unfair! “I-I’m not going down like this! Kyuken, damn it, what am I supposed to do?!” “Can’t you use your magic?!” “No?!” “What the hell is wrong with you?! That’s not a part of the contract!” “WHAT CONTRACT?”

The succubus found the conversation that he was holding with himself quite… annoying. Flicking her fingers, she commanded the golem-like creature to transform into cuffs and bind Mura in an instant - this was getting really, really ecchi (Midian word, translates to lewd, horny, arousing and overall naughty). “Man, you’re very different from the rest of my victims,” she casually spoke to him whilst lifting up his t-shirt, “I don’t know if you suffer any mental illness… no, that probably wouldn’t be good for me too. I need fresh, healthy essence…” Like a miracle, he saw an opening and began replying: “Y-Yes, that’s right! *cough*… I suffer from… uh… demens, yes, demens. That’s why I keep talking to my- I mean, what did you say, Kyuken?” the shaman began excusing, screwing up halfway and making the succubus laugh in response. “You’re even funnier than I thought… you deserve a good treatment~” she allured him as she unzipped his green pants…

…

Back at Magnolia, after having taken the train, Mura and Kyuken were returning to the guild hall with the cut-off head of said demon.

“…”
“…”
“…”
“… So-“
“Argh, what the hell happened?”
“N-Nothing, nothing… please, I’ve tried such… uh, ‘treatments’ as she called it plenty of times. You know, you kinda remind me a lot of myself…”
“… I only feared that…”
“Listen, I’m sorry… when I saw the job, I thought ‘Hey, Mura keeps underestimating this test, he deserves to know the struggle that we proud, open perverts have!’”
“But now I’ve lost…”
“Hey, come on, look at the bright side; you’re still alive! And she’s as dead as you can see. It’s like an experience to you, now…!”
“Yeah… I can’t believe I had that ability…”
“Yes, me too… her head literally turned black; I thought it’d turn white to compliment the-“
“Yeah, that-“
“Yes, the uh, that… but it looked nasty. By the lord…”
“…”
“… Did you enjoy it?”
“Not really… I failed No Nut November…”
“… I didn’t bring you to that job hoping that you’d go through it, anyway. That’s why…”

The samurai ghost suddenly handed a paper to Mura. On it, the words ‘NNN free card’ were showcased.

“… What’s this?”
“You have a month to finish, and it’s day 2. Work it.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the end, Mura managed to complete the next 28 days of No Nut November. He floated 24/7, his magic power surrounded the entire town, and he could hear the heartbeat of the entire universe at once…

This sudden rise in power felt mesmerizing…

But as any other power, he put it aside in favor of his human desires. The first day of December, and everything seemingly went back to normal… and you know what I meant by that *hehe*…

WC: 1223 + 2036 = 3259/3000

[S-Rank Exam Finished!]