Job: Wine Testing
3 glasses of red wine sat atop a brushed cedar table by the large window which looked out onto the streets of Rose Garden. Beside each glass was a bottle with a finely designed, hand written, label proclaiming them to be the newest additions to the already impressive wine list of the Flying Fish Bistro. Slowly, Elvira's face rose up to table level from where she had fallen after sampling the first glass. Her eye twitched and narrowed; golden irises focusing in on the label of the offending beverage.
"Stare..." She muttered while giving the bottle a look that proclaimed she was attempting to melt it with her mind.
The nearby owner, a plump man dressed in a chef coat with a long moustache, wrung his hands anxiously. "How does it taste Ms. Arcade? Your endorsement would be wonderful for my business".
It was awful she thought. How could something be so poorly crafted? Surely the universe had finally caught up with her, it was punishing her for her sins.
"It's lovely!" She said cheerfully, not wanting to let this awful wine get in the way of the world famous blueberry tart she'd been promised.
"Oh good! I was worried for a moment" He replied. "Why don't you see if the other two are also to your liking?"
"I'll kill you." She whispered.
"What was that?" He asked.
"An excellent idea!" She responded, regaining her composure and steeling herself for the trials to come. The bouquet of the next bottle was pleasant enough, she thought, as she swirled the glass under her nose, perhaps the first bottle had been a fluke, some mistake in the process. She'd managed to convince herself of that until the wine touched her tongue; it was like an army of angry, rotted, grapes waging a battle for who could make her vomit the fastest. Her clenched fist slammed down, causing the other glasses to shake. Once again the owner looked nervous.
"THIS IS...AMAZING!" She said, once again catching herself at the last second. She considered herself a proud alcoholic, but this was fast becoming torture. Resigned to her fate, she reached for the final glass, surely she would die here. As a final gambit, her hand slipped passed the glass, dainty fingers curling around the neck of the bottle. She imagined strangling the life from it as she lifted it to her lips and began chugging, praying that the sheer amount of alcohol entering her system would somehow numb her taste buds. Much to the owner's delight she finished the bottle and hammered it down.
"Wonderful! Just wonderful!" He exclaimed, clasping his hands together. As Elvira's forehead crashed into the table.
"Taaaaarrrrt" She whined out the side of her mouth as she tried and failed to lift her head.
"Ah! Of course!" He said, running off and returning moments later with an ornately wrapping box containing the precious dessert. She stood indignantly and stumbled for the door.
"You'll mention my wine in your next interview then?" He called after her.
"Shhuuureee" She slurred, having just enough sense left to vow to give him a final kindness and never speak of his wine again. She walked out into the light of the town, trying to remember where the ship was, before taking a nosedive into a nearby alley and passing out.
3 glasses of red wine sat atop a brushed cedar table by the large window which looked out onto the streets of Rose Garden. Beside each glass was a bottle with a finely designed, hand written, label proclaiming them to be the newest additions to the already impressive wine list of the Flying Fish Bistro. Slowly, Elvira's face rose up to table level from where she had fallen after sampling the first glass. Her eye twitched and narrowed; golden irises focusing in on the label of the offending beverage.
"Stare..." She muttered while giving the bottle a look that proclaimed she was attempting to melt it with her mind.
The nearby owner, a plump man dressed in a chef coat with a long moustache, wrung his hands anxiously. "How does it taste Ms. Arcade? Your endorsement would be wonderful for my business".
It was awful she thought. How could something be so poorly crafted? Surely the universe had finally caught up with her, it was punishing her for her sins.
"It's lovely!" She said cheerfully, not wanting to let this awful wine get in the way of the world famous blueberry tart she'd been promised.
"Oh good! I was worried for a moment" He replied. "Why don't you see if the other two are also to your liking?"
"I'll kill you." She whispered.
"What was that?" He asked.
"An excellent idea!" She responded, regaining her composure and steeling herself for the trials to come. The bouquet of the next bottle was pleasant enough, she thought, as she swirled the glass under her nose, perhaps the first bottle had been a fluke, some mistake in the process. She'd managed to convince herself of that until the wine touched her tongue; it was like an army of angry, rotted, grapes waging a battle for who could make her vomit the fastest. Her clenched fist slammed down, causing the other glasses to shake. Once again the owner looked nervous.
"THIS IS...AMAZING!" She said, once again catching herself at the last second. She considered herself a proud alcoholic, but this was fast becoming torture. Resigned to her fate, she reached for the final glass, surely she would die here. As a final gambit, her hand slipped passed the glass, dainty fingers curling around the neck of the bottle. She imagined strangling the life from it as she lifted it to her lips and began chugging, praying that the sheer amount of alcohol entering her system would somehow numb her taste buds. Much to the owner's delight she finished the bottle and hammered it down.
"Wonderful! Just wonderful!" He exclaimed, clasping his hands together. As Elvira's forehead crashed into the table.
"Taaaaarrrrt" She whined out the side of her mouth as she tried and failed to lift her head.
"Ah! Of course!" He said, running off and returning moments later with an ornately wrapping box containing the precious dessert. She stood indignantly and stumbled for the door.
"You'll mention my wine in your next interview then?" He called after her.
"Shhuuureee" She slurred, having just enough sense left to vow to give him a final kindness and never speak of his wine again. She walked out into the light of the town, trying to remember where the ship was, before taking a nosedive into a nearby alley and passing out.